Quote:Sent while Guu was laying in bed, recovering from the Guu'd vs. Evil fight

So, as I am rusty and getting back into the swing of things here as a play by post roleplayer, I have been brushing up on my skills and one of the things that I use to do that is read "CDBZ Roleplaying Guide by Ander"

This was a thread stickied as important on an old community I role played at, many of you know as Chubbs DBZ RPG. As the impending doom is upon that site now , I felt two things. A: This was a nugget of value I didn't want to lose and B: Probably something a lot of people here at The Omniverse would appreciate so I went through the trouble of bringing it here.

I hope you like it as it took me a long time to get it all over here and coded properly. Also, note that most of the links no longer worked, but I replaced what links I could. Enjoy!

Quote:Incorrect:
1. “There’s no way he can beat me!” The fighter screamed.
2. “How can you say that...” She began.
3. “This isn’t even close to being over.” He said.
4. “You still don’t know what you’re doing, do you?” He asked.

Correct:
1. “There’s no way he can beat me!” the fighter screamed.
2. “How can you say that...” she began.
3. “This isn’t even close to being over,” he said.
4. “You still don’t know what you’re doing, do you?” he asked.

Quote:Exemption
“Don’t even bother trying.” He charged up an energy blast and fired.

Quote:Incorrect:
1. While he/she was eating a stranger walked into the headquarters.
2. “I don’t understand,” he/she replied obviously confused.
3. He/she slammed his/her opponent into the ground and then blasted them.

Correct:
1. While he/she was eating, a stranger walked into the headquarters.
2. “I don’t understand,” he/she replied, obviously confused.
3. He/she slammed his/her opponent into the ground, and then blasted them.

Quote:Incorrect:
1. This was the end, this was the end of it all.
2. Ten warriors stormed Vine’s palace, only two remain.
3. He couldn’t win, he couldn’t beat him.

Correct:
1. This was the end; this was the end of it all.
2. Ten warriors stormed Vine’s palace; only two remain.
3. He couldn’t win; he couldn’t beat him.

Quote:Incorrect:
1. Your going to pay for that.
2. The demon wrapped it’s powerful arms around the fighter.
3. That sig was made by, your’s truly.

Correct:
1. You’re going to pay for that.
2. The demon wrapped its powerful arms around the fighter.
3. That sig was made by, yours truly.

Quote:Quick Reference
Their = possessive; there = place, location; they’re = contraction, they are
Your = possessive; you’re = contraction, you are; yore = meaning “long time past”
It’s = contraction, it is; Its = possessive

Quote:THEN versus THAN

then (adv.) - 1. at that time, 2. next in time, space, or order; immediately afterward, 3. in addition; moreover

than (conj.) - used comparatively

EXAMPLE:

COMPARATIVELY:
“I’m simply better then you.” (incorrect)

should actually be…

“I’m simply better than you.” (correct)

TIME: Back then, things were simpler.
ORDER: We’re going to dinner, then a movie.

Quote:QUIET versus QUITE

quiet (adj.) - making little or no noise

quite (adv.) - 1. to the greatest extent; completely, 2. actually; really, 3. to a degree; rather

Quote:SWEET versus SWEAT

sweat (v) - to excrete perspiration through the pores in the skin; perspire

sweet (adj) - having the taste of sugar or a substance containing or resembling sugar, as honey or saccharin

Quote:EFFECT versus AFFECT

effect (n.) - 1. something brought about by a cause or agent; a result, 2. the power to produce an outcome or achieve a result; influence, 3. a scientific law, hypothesis, or phenomenon, 4. advantage; avail

affect (tr.v.) - 1. to have an influence on or effect a change in, 2. to act on the emotions of, 3. to attack or infect, as a disease

Quote:HAVE versus OF

have (v.) - 1. to use or exhibit in action, 2. to permit; allow 3. to carry on, perform, or execute

of (prep.) - 1. derived or coming from; 2. caused by; resulting from, 3. containing or carrying

(These two are commonly confused due to verbal slang, and many people write out things the way they sound to them. People slur the ?have? until it sounds completely like ?of.? This is one of the few errors grammar check will actually catch!)

EXAMPLE:
“You should of backed out when you had the chance.” (incorrect)

should actually be…

“You should have backed out when you had the chance.” (correct)

Quote:Incorrect:
1. “You’ll never win, he said.”
2. “He said, you’ll never win.”
3. He used his so-called “special technique”.
4. What exactly is “good grammar?”
5. I would say “butchery”, but that would be mean.

Correct:
1. “You’ll never win,” he said.
2. He said, “You’ll never win.”
3. He used his so-called “special technique.”
4. What exactly is “good grammar”?
5. I would say “butchery,” but that would be mean.

Quote:Incorrect:
4. “I’m going to be the most powerful fighter in the universe.” he said.
5. “I’m going to be the most powerful fighter in the universe.” He said.
6. “Is there any way I can become stronger,? he/she said.

Correct:
4. “I’m going to be the most powerful fighter in the universe,” he said.
5. “I’m going to be the most powerful fighter in the universe!” he said.
6. “Is there any way I can become stronger?” he asked.

Quote:Incorrect:
7. “I'm going,” he said. “To be the strongest ever.”
8. “How can I,” he asked. “Become stronger?”
9. “I can do it,” he said, “I can become stronger!”

Correct:
7. “I’m going,” he said, “to be the strongest ever.”
8. “How can I,” he asked, “become stronger?”
9. “I can do it,” he said. “I can become stronger!”

Quote:Tip: Don’t clump dialogue in the middle of your paragraphs. It makes it difficult to understand who is saying what in the middle of what action (see, confusing!). Whenever a new person starts talking or separate dialogue is spoken, you should always begin a new paragraph!

Quote:Examples
Past Tense:
1. I was once the greatest fighter in the world.
2. We were just training.
3. I had it all.

Present Tense:
1. Is this what it has come to?
2. I am going to kill you if you don’t get this right.
3. I have every intention of leaving.

Future Tense:
1. Will you come with me?
2. Within a year, I will have finished my training in RoSaT.
A big “no” in writing is changing tense in the middle of a sentence. It can be done, but most people don’t know how (it is usually in dialogue)...so just don’t do it.

Quote:Incorrect:
1. “Okay, it’s now time to train your body to fully withstand the effects of Kaio Ken,” said the Kai as he bandages up his monkey’s tail.

Correct:
1. “Okay, it’s now time to train your body to fully withstand the effects of Kaio Ken,” said the Kai as he bandaged up his monkey’s tail.
“Said” is in past tense, while “bandages” is in present tense. You just need to modify the word and correct it to the proper tense.

Quote:First Person
1. I slowly stand up and take a breath. (Present tense)
2. We all wore weighted clothing. (Past tense)

Third Person = Correct
1. Goku slowly got up and took a breath.
2. They were all wearing weighted clothing.

Quote:Boring:
Goku raised his power level and shouted and fired a Kamehameha at Furiza his power level rising even higher!

Better:
The powerful saiyan Goku shouted as his energy skyrocketed, an aura appearing. He drew back his arms and fired a mighty Kamehameha at Furiza, all the while his power getting stronger and stronger.

Best:
A defiant roar boomed across the sky, tearing the very air with its deafening cacophony. Never before did an ear hearken the detonation of such a dogged bellow. A brawny pair of arms sank deeply at the waist of the extraordinary Goku, stalwart defender of the Earth. Bright azure flames of pure energy caressed his body with its effulgent luminescence as ki of cobalt and white amassed into his pining palms. The power he was emanating was incomparably catastrophic. Chanting the harbinger of Furiza’s doom, the vehement warrior unleashed his vengeful wrath upon the defenseless icer. A colossal, inescapable beam bore down upon the tyrant, sinisterly sizzling with malicious intent. Frozen in fear, Furiza could sense his enemy’s phenomenally increasing strength.

Quote:Telling

Goku was a young man with kind eyes and a strong, confident, heroic stance. All of his life, he was a fighter, and he was one of the best. His youthful face always had a smile on it. His hair was spiky and black. He always wore the same, classic outfit: an orange gi with a weighted blue undershirt. All of his life, he was a fighter, and he was one of the best. He loved his family: his wife Chi-Chi, and his two sons, Gohan and Goten. Even though Goku could be a gentle family man, he hated any evil-doer that tried to hurt them, because he was raised to be good and righteous as a little boy by his grandpa, Gohan. Anyone that threatened peace, Goku would fight.

Quote:Showing
Goku moved with the prime of youth; the result of bodily rigors weren’t going to hurt him today, because he had plenty of years to come. His physical prowess demonstrated the keen aptitude of a superior fighter, but his eyes betrayed the kindness of a gentle soul that resided within. A gust of wind billowed by and ruffled the spikes of black hair that protruded from his head. Goku was nothing more than an orange blur in his everyday outfit as he trained, his body feeling the weight of the blue undershirt. A smile crossed his face, one that rarely ever left, as he thought of his the family he loved so much. Every punch, every kick was empowered by the memory of Chi-Chi, who had stood by him through thick and thin, and the pride that he felt for that of Gohan and Goten. Their very faces were as clear as day to him, even when he could not see them now. Deep down, his heart skipped a beat at the very thought of anything happening to them. He could never forget the values instilled in him by his former masters, and certainly not those of his grandpa. It was a rarity indeed if he could forgive those who trespassed against all he cared about.

Quote:Tip: If you have trouble putting your posts together, write your first draft out and then let it sit for a few hours, or even a few days. Then, come back and reread it, so you can get a fresh perspective on it and see what you like or don’t like.

Quote:Verse Info:
The Nexus
Coruscant
Camelot
The Endless Dunes
The Tangled Green
The Vasty Deep
The Pale Moors
The Ashen Steppes
The Frozen Fields

Name: Gildarts Clive
Character Source: Fairy Tail (Anime)

(Hi this is Caira. Finally cashing in on my secondary account. Let’s see how I handle the excessive apostrophes, shall we?)

Character History: In episode 76, Gildarts makes his debut in the anime, he’s a hell of a guy and infamous within the guild. Gildarts is an S-Class wizard who has pursued an SS- class (100- year quest). Throughout the adventures that follow Natsu in the anime, there is a mystique that follows the powerful Gildarts. When he returns to the guild-his ‘home’ town that has reconstructed it’s geography due to Gildarts’ strength and basis of magic. As a man who frequently crashes through walls, at his early forties he is an elder to the guild and frequently looks after the younger generation when he is able.

The point where Gildarts is taken from the anime: just after he finds out Cana is his daughter in the Tenrou Island Arc. As the arc is concluded, they are attacked by the same dragon that stole his limbs. Acnologia. Gildarts, ever steady in the face of fear, he had the resolve to die and even stronger within him the conviction to live. Omni captures him in this instant. He is lead to believe that Fairy Tail is still in trouble from the moment he was taken and now he is a world away from the daughter he just found out he had and throughly believes that his guild’s ‘life’ is still in danger.

Physical Description: Swathed with a masculine physique, Gildarts is in his early forties and has a black/dark navy blue Fairy Tail insignia over his chest (which is covered by bandages). Gildarts wears a dark cloak and has two armor coated prosthetic limbs (arm and leg) as well as some wrapped bandages over his abdomen and shoulder. He has chestnut hair, which in daylight often comes off as an auburn color and stubble that outlines and emphasizes the edge of his jawline.

Personality: Adventurous and noble, Gildarts acts with great moral standing while in the manliest way to conduct himself: his decisions are all his own. He’s considered a womanizer, rather oblivious to his surroundings and rejects leadership as well as authority when bestowed upon him. He’s a casual guy who is very charismatic in his conducted ease.


Fighting Style:Gildarts uses a combination of Gravity, Crash, and Disassembly Magic.

Stats:
ATK:5
DEF:2+1=3
SPD:0
TEC:3
(Buying Stat Increase for Def -1,000 OM)

Starting Prof:
(Ranged Prof. 1,000 Area Attack Prof: 600, Area Shield prof 400, physical strength 1,000)

Starting powers: N/A

Starting Moves:

Parry 300 OM (requires Physical Strength prof, Area Attack Prof.) non variable
This is a move to block a physical attack.

An oncoming foe launches himself at Gildarts and charges toward with their weapon raised, gaze maliciously infused with villainous intent as the strike is readied. Gildarts directs his focus to where the attack will hit him as his body lunges with a pivot to the side with a flicker of movement and his metallic arm goes up to block the attack and off balance it’s core. (A sword would grind against his arm and the aim would be deflected away from Gildarts torso.)

As Gildarts does this, a wave of energy is released at the opponent and they are projected backwards or forwards and past him (depending on where their momentum would have taken them) at least three feet.

The force hits them like a gale of gravity, as suddenly against the foe’s sword a wave of energy is felt before the wave hits the rest of the enemy’s body and sends him and his sword strike flying.

Gildarts can do this repeatedly, however each time he must sacrifice the immediate use of an offensive move. (Basically, the foe must attack him again before he can begin again with offensive moves. If this isn’t clear, here’s an example really quick.)

The foe’s sword grates against his metallic arm as Gildarts pivots on his foot and the foe is sent off his feet and collides into a nearby tree as the parry is struck. Gildarts grimaced but begin to look lighthearted as the foe gets back up and launches another attack at him. Gildarts, whom can either dodge the attack without the use of parry, or use a shield to block it. He is unable, however, to attack the person directly (this shall be incorporated mainly with ‘aim’)until their second deployed attack hits him or misses, or else if he does the move will miss and he will be unable to use parry for the rest of the ‘battle’.

The Drawback is that after parry he can’t attack (forfeits the right to aim at) the enemy physically or directly.

Clasp 300 OM (Requires Shield Prof, Physical Strength)

The second way that parry can be used (This time as a stronger defensive outlier), as the above covered a number of physical attacks such as fists or swords, this is more to be used as a shield against less tangible deflections.

Gildarts anticipates the streaming ball of energy as it is launched in his direction, swiftly he takes a breath, squares his gait and extends his stronger hand outward. Forming and creasing into the shredded air is an ‘invisible’ shield in the shape of a sphere around his being, becoming only tangible with his focus. He grates his teeth as he concentrates to strengthen the single area that is expected to undergo damage. The ball of glowing energy released from his foe ignites into the intercepted spinning shield he has formed and Gildarts expends some energy as the attack begins to dissipate and roll in glowing white streams around his spherical shield and the last traces of the dissipated energy trail and swirl in thin curling wisps around him.

While Gildarts is concentrating on one spot, he cannot undergo an attack of equal power in another direction beyond a few feet of diameter from this reinforced area.


EDIT: looks like I will need stealth for this one, so I'll just resubmit when I gain some more OM!

Detonate (an ‘invisible’ punch..)300 OM(offensive, requires physical strength, ranged prof.)

Gildarts concentrates his energy on his good arm and then condenses the energy to the edges of his knuckles. The charge up time for this takes about five seconds. Then he lands a punch. The effects of the punch seem to evaporate around the very force of its momentum, and a surprised foe wouldn’t even feel the physical impact... At least not right away.

Detonate is a move landed and then after a complete minute has passed the strength of effect will be felt.

Gildarts lands the punch and the foe continues to battle as though nothing had happened, probably thinking ‘this guy’s not so tough, didn’t even stop me in my tracks.. I didn’t even feel his punch, what was he throwing? AIR?’ meanwhile the impact saturates and charges on the enemy.

After a complete minute has passed, the planted attack on the foe finally takes effect. In the same area as where the punch landed, suddenly a massive force expands around the ‘imprinted’ area in a one foot diameter (the impression, which shows little trace of its existence on the person, is a small and nearly undetectable plant of energy that is invisible until activated, like gravity, and as it charges an enemy with keen eyes could spot it and feel it) and releases against the foe in an astonishingly dense display of energy.

The burning gravitational energy crashes with collision as the foe is launched off his feet, due to the unexpectedness of the sensation, (and because of location in the chest the wind was knocked from his lungs.) The foe feels like a train has steamrolled him as the condensed energy crushes into his ribs and causes him to collapse.

Drawbacks: When an enemy notices the impression of energy that remains, it is less effective and half of its power/impact is immediately lost and dissipates, that is why he uses it during beginning or middle parts of the action when a foe may not notice it as they are caught up in the dispute.

For an enemy to abolish the planted move from their person: As I said about the less effective point above, if a person notices the move it will be less effective. If a person realizes that the plant is there, like through insight or telepathy or just a hunch, they can pick up the energy and it will form a ball in their grasp, remove it and throw it away or back at Gildarts himself, at half the power because it was noticed. If the person has armor or a shield they like to use, they can discard the armor piece until the blow has landed on it.

Total used OM: 4,900 out of 5,000

I confirm I have read and agree to the rules of conduct Check

• Name: Desco
  
• Gender: Female
  
• Class: Rider
  
  
• Appearance: A small, young girl who looks to be Elementary Age. What is immediately noticeable about Desco is that she had otherworldly clothes on her. Alien looking looks that almost look as if they were a part of her body if not that you could tell the dress she had on was really a dress and not a mass of flesh her legs stuck out of. The purple dress and boots she has with the red gloves and red outline of a miniskirt underneath at the bottom of the dress match her small red horns on her forehead, purple hair, and red eyes. On top of this, she had yellow snake-like eyes all over her from the three down the front of her body to the four at the top of her boots, the one in her hair, and still another on both hands and shoulders. If she turned around you'd also see that most of her back was bare and the dress didn't actually reach all the way around her but left an opening from which the skirt could be seen and a small tail could be seen.
  
  
• Personality: Desco could be best described as a good little girl whose purpose in life just happens to be taking over all of Earth and becoming a Magnificant Final Boss for her Big Sister. She is generally naive and extremely loyal to her friends and she can show surprising moments of insight in her own twisted way of looking at things. Desco will do almost anything to prove her worth as a Final Boss and will happily commit the gravest of sins in the name of Evil to show how Evil she is. Despite this, she still comes off as and defaults to being a good person when she isn't focused on her evil nature. Despite her abilities and skills, Desco tends to be easy to manipulate when you understand her values.
  
  
• Parameters:
  Strength: B
  Endurance: A++
  Agility: C
  Magical Energy: A
  Luck: E
  
• Class Skills:
  Magic Resistance Rank A - While Desco has high Magic Resistance, it is notable that it is only Rank C for Wind element spells.
  Riding Rank A - Desco was not known to have had any particular skill at riding so her riding skill is generally new to her. It is her Noble Phantasm which qualifies her as Rider which she uses as though it was a mount while at the same time an extension of her body.
  
• Personal Skills:
  Battle Continuation Rank A - While Desco can be a bit of a coward at times, she all but ignores the injuries she takes in combat. A Final Boss fights with all of its ferocity until its dying breath.
  Final Boss Setting Rank B - A natural talent manipulated into her body by her father in his experiments, Desco gains + in all attributes for each ally fighting beside her within 10 feet. to a maximum of ++. A sometimes difficult skill to use.
  
  
• Noble Phantasms:
  Magnificent Final Boss Rank EX
  Having proven her worth by taking over the world, defeating the armies and Avatar of God, Desco has gained the abilities she conceptualizes as essential attributes to a Final Boss. This Noble Phantasm shows this by the following two effects. First, it negates Magic which would alter Desco's Mind or has the effect of 'Instant Death' (That is not to say that it negates death but only attacks which would magically kill her without allowing her a chance to defend such as the Eyes of Death Perception or an attack that reverses cause and effect. In the second case, it would correct Cause and Effect but Desco would otherwise be harmed as normal), a Final Boss cannot be brought down so easily or manipulated against her will. Second, Non-Heros who engage her in combat cannot deal a killing blow to Desco or otherwise deal damage to her that ends in her death, only a Hero can defeat her.
  
  Yogsothoth - Rank EX
  The thing humans know Desco most for would be the tentacled creature that seems to sit behind her back. Those that know a little more about her know that her father specially coded this creature into her body and has always been an extension of herbody. He is the primary tool she uses to do everything. This Noble Phantasm takes almost no Prana to summon or banish at will and can come or go at an instant. Its Tentacles are capable of stretching out 20 feet in its normal mode and act as Rank C Anti-Unit NP attacks when they open their maws and bite down. As Rider, Desco has full access to all of her special abilities that use Yogsothoth directly. As long as Yogsothoth is close to her body, Desco is capable of flying through the air. However, because of this Noble Phantasm, Desco requires an extraordinary amount of Prana to maintain herself in the world whether she is actively using it or not.
  Yogsothoth is also capable of instinctively defending her body from attacks she isn't even aware of. Desco herself cannot consciously see out of the yellow eyes all over her body but Yogsothoth uses them to quickly defend from incoming attacks. The main downside to Yogsothoth is that as an extension of her body, it is no more or less tough than any other part of Desco's body and damage to Yogsothoth is akin to damage of any other part of her body. Other than this instinct, Yogsothoth is not self-intelligent and will only act by itself in defense when not guided directly by Desco's will.
  A Final Boss Arises - Rank C Anti-Army
  Desco opens up the top two of Yogsothoth's tentacles and charges then releases two streams of magic, one Fire and Wind and the other Ice and Wind. This was the first of her genetically gifted skills she revealed when she was released from her prison in Hades.
  True Godly Weapon - Rank B+ Anti-Fortress
  Desco surrounds herself in blue magic and catapults herself into the sky. She then holds out her arms and moves Yogsothoth independently, transforming him into a Sword and then making him giant and finally dropping him down. Where he lands, a large explosion occurs strong enough to destroy structures in its way.
  True Yogsothoth - Rank A++ Anti-Fortress
  Desco merges with Yogsothoth into one body and grows into a huge monstrosity. In this temporary form she lashes out with her tentacles to grab onto her targets, then concentrates and lets loose a beam of destruction. Despite its power, this blast is only intended for localized destruction.

Good luck with your kingdom. I genuinely mean that this time.

I like to claim that I'm an open book. And I AM pretty unashamed with telling folks stuff. So, this is how it works. Ask me anything you can think of and I'll answer honestly.

Or don't and I won't.

Just a heads up if you haven't read Proto's threads (You need to!) there may be some spoiler here and there. So, read at your own risk. Alright, here we go!

The Scramble:

Such a monumental thread to be a part of with one of the most diverse group of players and I find myself enjoying your posts that have nothing to do with other players like the interaction with The Judge. Animosity right off the bat and with a pretty major site npc no less. Not that I would expect any less from you of course. I am excited to see if and how this progresses and where it takes us!

I also rather enjoyed the perspective you have with Proto here. You do a good job of making us believe he is little kid with a childs mind. For example his take on grownups and their social dynamics as well as the struggle of being shy and not having many friends when you’re growing up. Like with your example of watching ‘normal kids’ play sports and pick teams from afar. Good stuff!

The Shiny City:

Pretty sound motive for Protoman to choose Coruscant over Camelot. I find it funny that The Joker kept ‘splashing’ in your posts. It’s a shame he didn’t stick around. =(
I also like that Proto didn’t automatically ‘take’ to summoning items he needed and had the robot butler fetch the items for him. Btw, robot butler ftw! xD

Hope Rides Alone:

Proto man has to install the latest Omni patch. I <3 this idea. Very clever!

I like how you go into dreams and the difference between humans and androids. At first I thought Proto couldn’t dream and this made me a saaaad panda

But wait, second paragraph plot twist: Proto does dream! =O

Okay, so pretty much everybody except Megaman is here? xD Oh and the two doctors… but otherwise the whole cast? Lol

So, I am waaay excited to see this celebration parade. I feel like you are setting up for a nice arc and can’t wait to see further Judge Dred/Proto interaction.

Oh, I really enjoyed the ‘Proto has a break in’ scene. Seriously, your work is so good that if I am cooking food in the microwave while reading… I hit the space bar to pause it when I have to get my food. It’s that good! xD

With that said I know these things are s’pose to be constructive so, some food for thought:
I think I would have enjoyed this scene more if you had introduced the gang afterwards. For instance if you had waited to post everyone teleporting into your restroom and breaking out after we get the crime scene post instead, we all would have been guessing as to what happened? Why does it look like they broke out and not in? Who could it have been? What was their motive?

I feel it would have added more suspense and mystery for the reader if the order of these posts had been reversed. (Yay, now it’s not just all ass kissing! xD)

…

OH MY GOD BIG BROTHER!!!! F*CK THE EMPIRE AND THEIR INVASION OF PRIVACY!!!!

*Ahem*

Poor officer Joe. I really enjoyed that and didn't see it coming.

I feel like new people, or anyone who needs a better perspective on how to flesh out Coruscant and the Empire should read this thread. Good stuff, mang.

The Emperor’s Jubilee:

Staff Story ohhhh yeeeeaaaaah! *Fists bumps*

Wait, what? Imperial Space Marines? This is a thing? I love things! Look at this thing! I’m going to play this thing out! *Is Stoked*

I like how Protoman contemplated doing his super hero thing to get a better view of the parade but thought better of it because it’d look absurd. This is a real character grounded in rationality who… just happens to be also be a super powered android.

So, we find that the Empire is basically Corporate America of the future and Proto gets spiritual on us =O

I can tell that I am going to like Proto as much as any other character I have read of yours. Kudos ^_^
I liked the comparisons to the bible and hell that then turned into actual history lessons of the underverse. It’s well written, good job.

Proto Man Wrote:Samus shrugged her rounded shoulders. “I’m not su—”

Whatever statement she was about to make was cut off by the earthquake that struck from nowhere. Just as they had less than two minutes prior, the pair was jostled and lost their equilibrium. To make matters worse, the moment he hit the ground with a dull thud, Proto Man something crack apart as the earth continued to spasm. Looking to his left, he realized that the ground was fissuring, and the expanding crack was heading their way.

Proto Man Wrote:Kicking off the ground, his leap augmented by boosters built into his large boots, the Robot Master charged the Proto Buster and released the oversized burst at the nearest machine. While it looked stronger and more capable than the members of the first few waves, the humanoid machine’s alloy erupted all the same, as the plasma punched through its chest and exploded against the floor behind him. The kickback was enough to jostle the android midair, but it was nothing he hadn’t already calculated into his trajectory.

Proto Man Wrote:He knew what a library was from memory, and he’d seen a few in major cities as well. Unfortunately, he’d never been inside one himself, and given that he was in a digital world that was inside a futuristic city which was part of an alien multiverse, he figure he’d be lost either way.

Proto Man Wrote:“I don’t believe that name fits the setting,” the android remarked as he shook hands with the boy, who was probably a year or two his senior.

Proto Man Wrote:The android had never actually seen such an antique firearm, but he imagined it had to share the same basic functionality of point, pull trigger, and pray.

Character name: Marin Asagi

Character source: Brigadoon: Marin & Melan

Character history:

Note: I'm using the anime canon.

Marin Asagi is an energetic teenage girl, who lives in a lower-class neighborhood in Tokyo, Japan during the late 60s. Abandoned as a child, she was adopted by an elderly couple - Gen and Moto Asagi. The couple lived in a tenement house, along with others. Though not all of the residents are related, they all consider themselves one family.

Despite financial hardships, and bullying from her schoolmates, she tries to keep an optimistic outlook on life. She even works a paper route to earn her own money, using a strong work ethic, as well as a vivid imagination. She is friends with Moe Kisaragi, a girl who comes from a wealthy family. While the family doesn't approve of her hanging out with Marin, she remains loyal to Marin.

One day, Marin is lead by a green-cat like creature into a shrine, where a blue gem-like bottle is on display, like an idol of a God.

Later, when Marin learns during a ceremony she won a runner-up prize in an essay she wrote, a class pervert pulls up her skirt right before she goes to the podium. She of course is embarassed by this - but no sooner than that, a very bizziare planet appears in the sky. The planet seems to still let sunlight through, albiet more refracted and distorted.

After being mocked by her peers, she goes home, only to be attacked by a creature that dropped from the sky. The creature attempts to shoot lasers and organic rockets. She runs to her bike, and escapes briefly. She finds herself near the blue bottle. The creature finds her, so she throws the bottle on the pedistal. Only to reveal a blue bipedal creature - who identifies himself as Melan Blue. He has a sword and gun, and seems to be an organic robot like the creature chasing her. He says it's his duty to protect her.

Through a series of events, she reveals more about what's going on. She may be the target of a vicious attack campaign by someone on the mysterious planet - Brigadoon. This planet appears every 100 years in earth time - which is only one year in Brigadoon time. She seems to be vital to some sort of ritual which could restore balance, and propel the planets away from each other and avoid a time-space collision called the Mutual Collapse. Through these events she discovers other monomakia to help her and her family - and the planet - find out what's going on. Melan fights two other gun-swordsmen who seem to think he's a traitor for protecting Marin. Along the way, police want to imprison Marin. A family friend and upper-classman - Midori Mano, helps her break out of prison, and then the prime minister pardons her.

During this time, the US plans to reroute the Apollo 11 mission from the moon to Brigadoon. Event after event happens, all seem to be adding more to Marin's plate. People at school hate her even more, Moe's mother is even more unwilling to let her spend time with Marin, and several attacks at the World's Fair in Osaka end with her adoptive grandmother - Grandma Moto - passing away after being exhausted from the day of enjoyment turned to action. Marin blames herself, and she ends up trying to drown herself - but Melan rescues her, assures her she means alot to many people. After being attacked some more, , Marin is recruited by the US President to help.

While on Brigadoon, Marin gets cut off from the astronauts keeping her around. She finds out the planet is very different from Earth - the architecture is made of stone mazes, inverted pyramids, cones and seemingly impossible structures. She also finds out there is a third sattelite planet - a paradise-like planet called Submaton Color. There she meets the creature who lead her to Melan, who had been giving her random advice through the first half of the series. His name is Lolo, and he's a political figure on the planet Brigadoon. He finds her and tells her what she needs to do. She is the Creis Marine - a monomakia developed to helps solve the mutual collapse, and all this is an attack by a renegade politician who wants to destroy the planets, for some reason. By laying herself into the body-shaped keyhole, she can stop his plans. However, upon going into the Creis keyhole, the keyhole rejects her about half-way, and causes monomakia to attack. Melan and her fly to the planetoid of paradise - Submaton Color.

There she finds a creature who looks like Lolo, but much older. He gives her a red necklace with a red teardrop. She is then sent back to earth, and Melan goes to find the real Creis Marine.

She finds the planet is in disarray. Tokyo has been turned into a war-torn barren wasteland, with the school being turned into a makeshift shelter. She finds her tenament house is gone, and her family is missing. Now forbidden in the school after a fight that results in her head being injured, she is forced to live on the street. Midori - finds her stealing bread, and stops her. She gets Marin to realize this is not the way. However, due to the fight earlier, she goes blind while she is being cleaned up.

While Midori runs errands, Marin senses Melan is in danger, as he's fighting a monomakia that can snap him in two. She wanders off to find him, despite her being blind. The top school bully tricks her into dropping off a ledge, hanging on for dear life. Marin however is saved at the last moment by the red necklace not only compensating for her eyesight, but turns her into a Marin-sized semitruck, preventing her death. She can only drive the same speed as a semitruck, and cannot actually unload freight, but she uses her ability to turn into a police motorbike. The necklace given to her has saved her. She uses the shapeshifting ability to turn into a mouse [though still Marin's size and height], and get better climbing ability in the broken subways. She can copy abilities of things she can see at that moment.

She finds Melan, and rescues him by duplicating his outfit. She gains no ability, but it does confuse the monomakia constricting him into chasing her, giving Melan time to attack. Marin and Melan eventually find her family, and find out that the Creis Marine might be in an abandoned laboratory. Upon finding her, everyone but Marin is seemingly captured and taken to Brigadoon by an ambush.

Marin is called by Lolo and his friend Lala, who are both part of the Brigadoon Assembly to help them, as the renegade has successfully taken over Brigadoon in total. She imitates a missile being launched by a sub to fly to Brigadoon, but then falls into an ocean, and blacks out.

It's at this moment she gets brought to the Omniverse.

Physical Description:



Marin Asagi is a young teenage girl with green eyes. She has dark red medium-length hair, most of the time tied in a ponytail. She usually wears green denim overalls with an attached skirt, and a baggy pink shirt under the overalls, as well as baggy socks and whatever shoes she can find [typically though, any old oxfords]. She also has glasses as she's near-sighted, either actual glasses or the Cosmos Device compensating for her eyesight.

Stats:
ATK: 2
DEF: 3
SPD: 2
TEC: 3

Starting Proficiencies:
Physical Strength - 1000 OM

Starting Powers:
Mimic – 2800 OM

Starting Moves:
N/A

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