Just to put it here for the move-approvers, since you guys may have missed it in updates:

(11-05-2017, 05:32 PM)Omni Wrote: I'm aware that writing moves can be a headache, and it can also be a headache to get them approved! In an attempt to make this easier both for members and staff, I've added some stuff to the Writing Moves part of the moves page. Basically assumptions such as:

"Unless otherwise stated, we assume ranged moves are neither easier nor harder to aim than an average projectile of its type, or a thrown object for spells and the like."

and

"Unless the move requires you to keep your focus, we assume it's fire-and-forget."

This means you shouldn't have to painstakingly include every detail on the list, and it should be clearer what is required. For example:

"Length is required for all melee weapons, width should be included for axe-heads, greatsword blades or other very large weapons."

and

"Once activated, how fast does it travel? Fast as a thrown ball or slower? Arrow? Bullet? Required for original attacks and spells, but not for bullets and arrows unless they are different from the assumed speed."

Hopefully these changes are good? If you have any feedback, please put it in this Feedback topic. Thanks!

If you have suggestions, not questions, feedback on the rules and systems, here's a big megatopic to put it in.

Please bear in mind! The game design side of the site is all done by one person for the most part, me. And I have a life and stuff. So while I'll probably be reading this topic, I won't necessarily reply to all suggestions and feedback, whether positive or negative. This is just a place to put all your feedback, if you have it. I may also occasionally ask for feedback on specific things through the Updates topic.

This is just for core rules, things on the rules page. I recommend for other stuff, like storylines, quests, and other in-world stuff, going to specific threads or going to specific people who're in charge of those things. This is basically just for me. I also recommend (whether to me or to others) utilising a degree of tact, since we're all humans with limited time and resources, and not everything we make is perfect!

Welcome to The Coruscant Mail (.omni)
The Official Webiste for your Tier One Daily Paper
Disclaimer: The Coruscant Mail has no connection to any official Imperial News Network and should never be regarded as representing the Emperor or Council in any capacity.

Our Top Story Today:

EPD Begins Recruitment Campaign!
Or does it?

"I had absolutely no idea this was going on. I'm at a complete loss as to what those Tier Five divisions think they're doing, or who could have possibly given them permission to go ahead with this."

This was a comment our reporters heard repeated and rephrased frequently today as they tried to get information from Coruscant government officials on Tier One, both inside and outside the Empire Peace Division's ranks, regarding the recent slew of postings on various Dataverse messageboards asking the worryingly untrustworthy, lower-class citizens of that area to volunteer now to join the ranks of the stormtroopers and 'protect their homes' from the 'scourge' of gang warfare, as well as multiple recruitment posters which have been seen pasted to walls in several areas around the tier, most frequently in the northern quadrant. One example of such a poster can be seen here:

Quote:Several videos with similar titles and content identical to the first (below), though from a slightly different angle each time, are uploaded to the Omniverse Youtube all on the same day, within a few hours of each other:

"Omni. Fascinating. Very gentle voice. Soothing. Innocent. But powerful abilities. Teleportation? Resurrection? Did I die? Am I dead? I don't know. Is he a God?" Deep breath. "No. Impossible."

A three-fingered hand gripped the edge of the Fountain of Infinity from the inside. A second one joined in. Soon, a lanky, scary creature began to haul itself out of mystical waters. He swung his body over the barrier of the fountain and then onto his feet on the flat surface on the other side. When he stood up, he the alien creature found himself in a world unlike anything he'd ever seen before. And he's seen some crazy stuff over the years. The place in front of him was completely white. Floors. Sky. Everything.

There were two figures in front of him. They were dressed in white armor, head to toe. The armor wasn't quite the same bright shade of white as the verse around them. It was an off-color, only slightly.

"State your name." One of the soldiers demanded. They both had long energy-based firearms in both of their hands. The amphibean in front of them surmised them to be some type of assault rifles, but not from the universe he had just come from.

"Dr. Mordin Solus," the alien offered his tri-tipped hand out as a greeting.

Neither of the soldiers took it. They just looked at each other first, as if they were sizing up Mordin wordlessly and then communicating together. Neither seemed impressed. "What are you?" The opposite one asked.

"Geneticist. Physician." The two troopers looked each other again, neither one understand the fast-talking alien. "Scientist. Salarian. Pleasure to meet you." He brought his hand back when they didn't offer to shake it. Rude. He looked over the duo. "Who are you? Body armor is clean and unharmed. No scratches or dents. Assault rifles, energy-based. Soldiers of some kind." He took a breath. "Who are you?"

"We're stormtroopers from Coruscant." The one on the right was the one who spoke. "We're here to take any new primes to the Omniverse to Coruscant for questioning. Are you a Prime?"

"Yes," Mordin said, though quickly added on, "No. Maybe. I'm not sure. Am I?"

"He must be a Prime," the other trooper spoke, hitting his buddy lightly on his shoulder. "He came out of the Fountain of Infinity."

"He doesn't look like a Prime. Looks like a wimp." His co-hort responded. The scientist did nothing to make himself appear threatening. The best part of being salaian was that nobody ever considered him dangerous. This was his biggest asset, especially here.

Mordin looked over his shoulder at the fountain. It literally did look like a fountain. It reminded him of the giant pool on the presidium of the Citadel back in his home universe, except without the obnoxious statues. This was where he had just came out of. The name Fountain of Infinity interested Mordin, and he considered briefly of taking a sample of the water. He realized that even though he emerged from it, he was not wet in the slightest.

"Fascinating," Mordon whispered. "No moisture in the air. No signs of water to fill the foundations. Infinity. Suggests no change. But I came out of it, clearly. So why am I dry? Astonishing."

"Hey, lizard-guy!" He felt a push on his shoulder and spun around quickly. "Prime or not, we gotta get moving. We're taking you to the city."

Mordon quickly noticed the other guy his gun drawn, expecting a fight. But the scientist just nodded his head, seemingly in agreement. He was not interested in a fight here. Not before getting more information. "Very well. Lead on! Coruscant, was it? What kind of place is it? Question. Is there a research laboratory there?"

The duo exchanged glances again. This would be a long trip.

I tried to quote Omni but phone kinda wonky.

Anyway I suggest having two descriptions of a move in move approval. One can be just fluff and the other can be cut and dry mechanics. This may help move approval go through faster by making it easy to parse what the person asking for is fluff or not.

CHARACTER NAME:
Cassandra “Sandy” J. Myst

CHARACTER SOURCE:
OC

CHARACTER HISTORY:
Cassandra was a normal young woman back before she died. A respectable woman of the victorian era. Unbeknownst to her, a group in the city she live in upset the local vampires. She didn’t even know vampires were a real thing until she had already become one. She woke up in a quiet clearing outside the town with no recollection of what happened which her best Sunday dress ripped in places. Thankfully she was still presentable for public, but she was quick to head home.

Not from a rich family and not from a poor one, Cassandra walked briskly back to the house as she did not want anyone to see and start rumors about her. It was late, very late. Almost no one was on the streets, the burning street lights were flickering as if they would go out at any moment.

When she finally came home she let herself in, and it wasn’t until she was face to face with her parents did she recognize anything was wrong. They were both dressed in nightgowns, wearing caps, and stern faces. But it was not their wrath that she focused on, but the fast paced beating sound that echoed from their chests. She tried desperately to shake the enchantment that thumping had put her in, but she could not.

She excused herself and tried to leave, but her parents were very upset that a woman such as her would be out so late, and now return with tattered clothing, unkempt hair, and stains all over her. If only they had let her go, maybe they would have been alive.

Apparently some purebloods had kidnapped a few people of innocence, changed them as fast as they could, and then unleashed them on the town. Each Human-Turned took to the city at their own pace, but eventually it ended in a bloodbath and several of them dead. Sandra was re-captured by her Pure-Blood, apparently saved because he couldn’t watch her die. It was a long and difficult progress, but she eventually received the Gift of a Pureblood and exalted to one herself.

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION:
Young woman is misleading, Cassandra was only 14 when she was killed, and roughly remained that way for years. Upon the Pureblood’s Gift, the passage of time slowly started to tick once more and now she appears to be an early adult. About 18 or 19. She is about 240 years old.

Her hair is cut short for the more modern look at least modern in the 1920’s, its thick nature making it the envy of town. Her figure was still attractive, but not by 2000’s standards, meaty but still shapely thanks to the tortuous fashions of the past. Her full face was gentle with its features, dark freckles across her button nose and full lips. Her hair a light brown, her eyes a jeweled green.  

STATS:
ATK: 0
DEF: 3
SPD: 3
TEC: 4

STARTING PROFICIENCIES:
Ranged Proficiency – 1000 OM
Homing Proficiency – 600 OM

STARTING POWERS:
Time Manipulation – 800 OM
Teleportation(Basic) – 1500 OM

STARTING MOVES:
Vampire Bite(Fodder - 0 OM)
Sandra bites a willing creature to revive her energy by drinking their blood. (Will probably upgrade this when I can afford healing)

SWITCH! - 300 OM
Ranged Prof, Homing Prof, Time Manipulation, Teleportation.
Sandra stops time and then switches places with an alley that she can see or sense within 20 meters, taking any hit that was directed at them. If she has a defensive move, she may use it to reduce the damage to herself but this must be readied before using SWITCH!. This move is instant, and requires more energy the further the distance she has to teleport.

T1 Super Utility Move: Mulligan - 600 OM
Ranged Prof, Time Manipulation,
Sandra doesn’t like watching her friend suffer, so if she sees something she could have prevented she will snap her fingers at the scene and time will reverse to exactly 2 minutes. She has two minutes to change the result or it will happen exactly as it did. This takes a lot of energy to do and cannot be repeated for the same scene/situation. (Or simply put, cannot be used twice in one post) Only she is aware of the manipulation of time.

Example: If Sandra watches Person A punch Person B off a cliff, she can snap and reverse it but has to do something to change it or else Person B will fall off the cliff.

((4800/5000 OM Spent))

I confirm that I have read and agreed to the Rules of Conduct.

Where did you find us?
I am Ash, The Storm Demon. This is my Third.

The creature – a three-foot-long, orange-furred rodent with buck-teeth and twelve legs – scampered up the tree and out of sight. China ignored it. He stared intently at its mate; the females were always the larger ones anyway... so what if the scrawny little male had escaped his grasp?

The lower half of his face suddenly split, the blank china surface opening into a wide grin, revealing his set of blue, glistening fangs. With all four hands he pressed the struggling thing down into the soft, loamy earth of the forest floor, as he leaned over and prepared to tear off its head in a single chomp.

“Yes-yes, me so much smart-smart, yes, no tasty-nice yum-yums escape great-strong hunter, no-no.” he chuckled to himself softly, pointedly ignoring the fact that one of his targets had, in actuality, done just that, and escaped. A moment before he would have taken that first delectable munch, though, something else caught his attention.

It was rather hard to miss, actually. For a moment the entire sky was filled with a blinding surge of light. Even after that had abated, though, it hardly grew much dimmer; floating there, high above, was a mass of pale cream wings and vast, slowly rotating shards of what looked like a sort of semi-opaque glass, illuminated from behind by rays of light in shades ranging from the golden yellow of the sun, to the silvery white of moonlight. From one side to the other, the enormous, airborne titan must have been hundreds of metres long...

Though of course, being not quite smart enough to count – or know what a 'metre' was, for that matter – China did not realise this. He could tell enough to know one thing for sure, though:

“Scary-scary, much-much scary.” his eyes were wide as he sat straight up, staring its way, and as his fear overpowered every other emotion, his grip loosened, and the four-foot-long rodent he'd been about to devour slipped from his grasp and darted off into the woods, emitting a shrill keening noise as it went. Not that running would save it.

Many of the shards moved, then, slowly reordering themselves to leave open a circle in the very centre of the being's form. Slowly, an orb of light somehow both golden and white, silver and yellow, formed in that emptied zone. China hugged himself and shivered in terror.

“No-no, no, no, no-no, no...” if he had had tear ducts, he would have wept, if he had had bowels, he would have wet himself. He may not have had all that book-learning that his creator had known, but it took little in the way of intelligence to recognise the end when one saw it coming.

China had travelled the world a lot, after being forced from his home and before settling in this nice place, and he had witnessed Holy Magic on occasion... and though his mind lacked the capacity to truly recall this in any great detail, deep down in his subconscious somewhere, his long-forgotten memories alerted some part of him to the undeniable truth that what was coming would obliterate not only him, but every living thing for miles around. This entire forest would be Purified.

The orb of Divine Light began to fall. It's descent was slow enough that China could track it with his eyes. He didn't want to, yet couldn't bring himself to look away. He was paralysed with fear, and moaned softly as the sphere grew nearer. The moment it struck the ground, his life would be over, for good.

What had he ever done to deserve this?

The orb landed. Light filled his vision.

…

Dark filled his vision?

No. Not filled. There was one small spark of the light remaining. It was shaped like a yummy food, like the sort that sometimes had used to wander into his forest, back before the yum-yums realised that it was silly for food to walk up to a hungry person and had stopped showing up...

It didn't feel yummy, though. China felt like this light was just as scary as the one which had been about to kill him, before... what? Had the yum-shaped light chased the other one away, like the moon and sun chased each other? If so, then this light was much faster than a moon...

China's inane thoughts were interrupted when the being spoke:

Quote:“My name is Omni. This is not the world you know. This is the Omniverse. You interest me, so I have made you part of it. The Omniverse is a place that reflects the wishes of those who are part of it. But! There are rules. I will explain them only once, so listen carefully.”

Omni handed him a glimmering orb in which all the colors of the rainbow coalesced. “This is Omnilium. It’s what ties the Omniverse together. Without it, you are nothing. With it, anything you desire can be yours. But you will need more than this. If you desire it enough, you will find it. You will find that using it comes naturally. Just think of what you desire most.

“You will not be alone in the Omniverse. There are others. Of course, they, too desire Omnilium. Do not fear death. For as long as you interest me, you will be reborn.

“That’s all you need to know right now. You’ll figure out the rest soon enough. I’ll be watching … and waiting.”

Name: Mordin Solus
Spent OM: 6500
Consumed OM (100): Items (100)
Proficiencies (3000): Ranged (1000), Area Defense (400), Debuff (1000), Area Attack (600)
Powers (1600/8000): Insight (1600)
Moves (1800): M-12 Locus w/ Pyro Ammo (600), M-6 Carnifex (300), Kinetic Barrier (300), Incendiary Grenade (300), Cryo Grenade (300)
Super Moves (0):
Transformations (0):
Assists (0):
Items: Dataverse Device
Artefacts:
Bases:
Unlocks (0):
Base stats:
ATK: 2
DEF: 1
SPD: 2
TEC: 5

Someone just brought to my attention that the "guide to keeping your character" that I'd written some time ago now isn't there anymore - I believe that I posted it into the Arcade forum, a month or two ago. My account post history doesn't return any results, nor does the search engine. Did it get removed for some reason? :frog: