I stand on the bed, a savage grin plastered to my face. Before me is this the owner of this manse; a fat, blubbery man, middle aged and moustachioed, with a bulbous nose, short, curly brown hair, and eyes of a colour to match. His olive-toned skin is lighter than mine, though not quite as pale as the far-southerners; those 'white' folk who inhabit the frigid tundras far from the equator. Beside him is his wife; a much younger, more attractive specimen than her husband. She has the same skin, hair and eye tones – not that that’s surprising in any way; being of a proud, old, noble family, their ancestors surely must have lived in this region since ages long forgotten, so it's to be expected that they should have the generic, stereotypical traits associated with the peoples of this area – though her own wavy locks tumble down to the small of her back, much longer than her man’s. She’s slim, with a nice figure… one that I can appreciate all too easily right now.

They were asleep when I found them, before I jumped up onto this luxurious, four-poster bed and yelled my greetings at the top of my lungs. The pair had been sleeping naked beneath their sheets, which have fallen down to about their hips now that they've gotten up and shuffled back against their headboard, clutching at each other in their wide-eyed terror... this scene would be much hotter if I could just mentally blot out that corpulent glob of overflowing flesh from the picture.

But eh, it’s no big deal. It isn't like I came here looking for sexual gratification anyway. I lift my javelin, which I’ve been leaning casually on one shoulder as I stand here... as I stand over them, looking down on the pitiful wretches. Yeah, the eye candy is a nice bonus, but honestly, I'm a little busy right now. We have a city to sack, after all. I can get sex some other time; opportunities to commit mass murder are much less frequent.

“Scream for me, will you?” I ask, grasping my golden armament’s shaft with both hands and driving one of its pointed tips towards the bulbous gut of the oiled and pampered lord.

They kindly oblige.

When it impales him, the pitch of his shriek changes. No longer a cry of fright, but one of agony instead. Honestly, for all that I’d love to wax poetic and say it sounds so beautiful and musical and whatnot, the truth is that in and of themselves, screams are kind of a shitty thing to listen to. It isn't about the noise, it’s the feeling, the rush of inflicting harm upon someone else and knowing that there's absolutely nothing they can possibly do to stop me. It is glorious. Trampling all over the weak and pitiful is a different sort of pleasure from taking down a mighty foe, from seeing someone great and powerful crumble and fall before me… but it’s still just as much fun, if less of an achievement.

Releasing the javelin, I hold my hands out to either side. Slender pillars of gilded flame spring into existence just in front of my palms, and as I clench my fists around them, the fires vanish, revealing two more of my thin spears. I raise them high above my head, laugh, and bring them down with all my strength into his torso. He writhes and flops like a fish out of water, but I hold him steady, leaning forward, putting all my weight down on him.

I stare into his bulging eyes as he gags and coughs up blood. Such a lovely sight. Sadly, I don’t get to keep watch as the last dregs of life escape him, as his eyes glaze over and he shuffles off this mortal coil... I'm distracted by his wife. Finally coming to her senses, she scrambles out of their bed, thuds heavily onto the richly carpeted floor, then, with barely a pause, begins scrambling for the door. It’s a big room, though. She'll need a few seconds to reach it, so I allow myself to take a moment to just enjoy watching her, as I hold out a hand and call up another of the Endless Spines.

She really is a pretty thing. What a body. Mmm-hmm. Honestly, it’s practically criminal that this snivelling lump got her all to himself. He must've been a real big shot around here, for her family to have let him take such a prize. I wait until she’s almost reached the doorway before I make my leap, crossing the distance in a single bound, landing on my feet first, then bringing down my right arm.

The javelin sinks into her lower back, just to the left of her spine. She screams and spasms, going wild with pain, desperate to be free. I laugh and grab the shaft with my left hand as well, pushing down, aiming to wedge the point into the floor, to keep her pinned in place. I hold on until her struggles start to wane, then set one bare foot on her back and tug free the slim spear.

She screams sharply and thrashes jerkily, once, then feebly tries to slither away. I put a little more weight on her, and in this weakened state there’s nothing she can do about it; even without the javelin, I have her pinned. Realising the futility of her attempts, she begins sobbing loudly, allowing her head to drop down to the floor, knowing she's beaten. Her tears soak into the thick, fluffy, scarlet carpet’s fabric up by her head, whilst the area around her gut is stained a darker shade of red by the now freely flowing blood.

I take my time before striking again. Using my foot alone, I brush aside her silky soft curls, clearing them from her right shoulder. Such smooth, unblemished skin. I raise the Spine, preparing for another blow… wanting to make this woman's torment last a little longer than her man's. But then… the door swings open a little way. Both of us look up.

“Oh.” I croon gently, pleasantly surprised to see the small figure in the doorway. My grin broadens.

“No.” she moans, at almost the exact same moment I speak. A child stands there, probably somewhere in the region of six or seven years old. I am surprised, I must admit. This woman would have to have been pretty young when she gave birth to have a kid at that kind of age.

“Mama, what’s going on?” the boy asks, his voice wavering. I can tell he’s practically petrified, now that he’s had a moment to appreciate the situation. He’s small, chubby, with a haircut to match his father’s, but there’s a hint of more delicate features in his visage. His mother’s legacy, no doubt. He wears a white nightgown and clutches some sort of bright yellow stuffed animal in his arms.

“Run! Run! Get away, baby!” the dying woman screams, seeming to find some heretofore unknown reserve of strength. She actually manages to push herself up a little, almost to the point of being able to get onto her hands and knees, before I stamp on her back and slam her down onto the floor once more.

He trembles, tears in his eyes, but shakes his head. Not really understanding what’s going on, but not wanting to leave his mummy all on her own. Aw, how adorable. I stab her.

The javelin is raised high, held in both hands, before being brought down heavily. It digs deep into her flesh, but doesn’t go all the way through, not this time. It strikes a bone and I can get it no further. She shrieks in agony, jerking again. I twist the javelin, trying to get it past, putting all my weight on it. She’s writhing and screeching, and her little boy has dropped to the floor and begun wailing as well.

I might be worried about the noise they’re making, if… well… if I had any reason to fear anyone in this city… okay, okay, anyone not on my side, in this city. I'm a pretty damn good mage, if I do say so myself, but I can’t match a few of the others we have. Being all but indestructible by conventional methods, as much fun as it is, wouldn't do me a whole lot of good against magi who could just pin me in place and hold me down until I died of hunger or thirst…

Still, barring anyone like that, I might as well be unkillable, so I'm good. Even if there are a few house guards squirrelled away somewhere in the manse; even if they could get here without running into any of the others downstairs, who’re making themselves busy wrecking the place and doing all sorts of uncouth things to the family's servants and slaves; and even if these guards were the sort who actually practised combat magic… there’s no way I’d ever be given cause to worry by someone weak enough to be employed by a mere lord.

Had our fearless leader, the so-called 'Puppetmaster of Fallen Souls', not insisted on single-handedly taking down this city-state’s palace, I might have gotten a decent fight; some members of their royal guard must surely be pretty skilled, after all. As it is, I'm just hoping this place doesn't run out of citizens before I've had my fill of bloodshed.

“Hurts, does it?” I ask in a chipper tone, giving up on piercing her shoulder and yanking free my weapon. After one last scream she quietens, though her body is still racked by powerful sobs. And that brat won’t shut up, either.

I give her a light kick, turning her over, so I can see her front. She gasps sharply, her back arching with pain. Her eyes are red-rimmed, her face tear-streaked and much paler than before… aside from that, though – well, that and the inch-wide hole in her stomach, from which her lifeblood still rapidly pumps – she still looks damn fine. Her breaths are ragged and laboured now, though in between them she does manage to speak softly, pleading with a child who can’t hear her above the sound of his own shrill shrieks, begging him to flee, before it’s too late for him as well.

I hold up the sanguine-slicked point of my spear before my eyes. Blunted. Gold isn’t exactly the most durable of metals, so I can’t say I’m surprised that smashing and grinding it against bone messed it up a bit. I change my grip on the shaft; the other end is also sharp, so this one still has some use left in it yet.

I press this point against her chest, just atop her heart, more or less; over her sternum, in any case. It pricks her skin, though she doesn’t appear to notice. She’s twisted her head back and is staring at her little boy as she makes her weak and feeble pleas to him. She knows better than to ask me for mercy, at least, it would seem. It’s surprising how many people don’t. I wonder briefly if that ever actually works. Are there really any assassins or soldiers out there who'd just stand down and let their foe live merely because that person asked them nicely?

I suppose it doesn't matter. I do hesitate for a moment, though not as a result of any silly notion of mercy. No, I'm just not sure which would be worse: to regret not taking my time here, or to regret missing out on many other murders because I was preoccupied with stretching this one out. Oh, such tough choices. I can't exactly hang around pondering the matter for too long either... coming to a decision, I raise the javelin, then slam it down. There’s a crack, and she screams again. She isn't quite dead yet, though. Her breastbone is fractured, but not broken… so I keep on at it. The Spine rises and falls, breaking skin and bone, again and again and again, as she thrashes and flops weakly on the ground, her blood spattering everywhere.

Ah, such ecstacy.

Eventually, her chest a crimson mess of torn flesh and puckered holes, she stops moving completely. I'm breathing a little heavily myself by this point, my skin is covered by a fine sheen of sweat, and my right arm is a bit sore, to be honest. As much as I love my gold-summoning magic, these spears are fucking heavy.

Tossing this one aside, I step past the corpse of his mother, musing over whether or not to kill the bawling baby when the stench hits my noise. Blegh. The kid’s nightgown is stained yellow. The wimpy little fucker just pissed himself. Well, that settles it. As tempting as it may be to leave the occasional child alone, hoping they grow up all bitter and vengeful then come back to provide more entertainment in future, it seems pretty unlikely to me that this one will survive long enough to get around to that… and if someone’s gonna get to enjoy killing him, it might as well be me.

“Don’t worry about your momma, kiddy,” taking another couple steps forward, I raise my left hand this time, and a line of golden flame streaks past my palm, before vanishing just as I'm closing my fingers around the shaft. Once again, I hold aloft a javelin, “you’ll be together again in no time.”

And then, just before I can plunge my spear into the pungent little rat, he vanishes. In fact, everything vanishes. The fancy, snobby paintings that line the walls; the ornate, platinum candelabra with their LED (luminescence-enchanted diamond) lights; the marble ceiling and walls themselves; and even the floor beneath me. Suddenly, I’m standing on thin air… I think. There’s no breeze, though, so it’s hard to tell. I certainly can't feel anything beneath my feet, at least.

A grinning, glowing, eyeless figure sits before me. Apparently nothing more than a silhouette with teeth, really. Everything else is just darkness. Is this a booby trap? Have I somehow triggered some sort of enchantment intended to safeguard the house? Is this just a dream-place, or have I really been tossed into some other plane of existence? Is this thing a djinn? A demon? Or something else entirely?

Quote:“My name is Omni. This is not the world you know. This is the Omniverse. You interest me, so I have made you part of it.”

Quote:“The Omniverse is a place that reflects the wishes of those who are part of it. But! There are rules. I will explain them only once, so listen carefully.”

Quote:“This is Omnilium. It’s what ties the Omniverse together. Without it, you are nothing. With it, anything you desire can be yours. But you will need more than this. If you desire it enough, you will find it. You will find that using it comes naturally. Just think of what you desire most.”

Quote:“You will not be alone in the Omniverse. There are others. Of course, they, too desire Omnilium. Do not fear death. For as long as you interest me, you will be reborn.”

Quote:“That’s all you need to know right now. You’ll figure out the rest soon enough. I’ll be watching … and waiting.”

Just curious, because of Jak.

Well, when I say doodle, I really mean draw. And draw semi-skillfully at least.

After some deliberation and failed attempts on my part, I am extending an invitation (more like begging) someone to draw Koal, my OC here on the Omniverse. If you’re interested, feel free to post here on this thread or DM me. Forewarning: the most I am willing to pay is $25 USD at the moment, however, I could afford to pay a little bit more (probably around $35 USD) in about a weeks time. Thank you for your consideration and have a wonderful time wherever and whenever you are!

So for those of you still taken in or who haven't checked the date, the stuff about the 'leaked 18+ forum' in the last few days is an April Fools day prank. We missed last year, so we decided in advance to make this one a bit bigger. Hence the last year of 'accidental leaks' such as chat post notifications and rumours and such about an 18+ forum. People argued both that it was just a prank and that it really existed. The truth was somewhere inbetween.

If it's not obvious by now, the screenshots posted by Reece in Discord, the update about "let us know if you have access to forums you shouldn't", and this topic, were all part of the prank.

I expected people to read it all by now, but here's the setup. Have fun browsing the joke topics we made over the last year (mostly thanks to Kelsie and Jeff for this ). Not sure what I'll do with the forum now but I'll be leaving it up for a bit at least.

Anyone else see/do any good April Fools stunts this year?

Basic Roster

Name: Ahana Varma
Spent OM: 13550
Consumed OM: 450
Proficiencies (4200): Physical Strength (1000), Ranged Proficiency (1000), Ranged Materialise Proficiency (600), Area Attack Proficiency (600), Remote Control Proficiency (600), Area Defence Proficiency (400).
Powers (2900/8000): Basic Super Jumping (300), Master Acrobat (400), Advanced Regeneration (2200).
Moves (1500): The Fires that Consume All Harm; Protections of the Golden Conflagration! (0), The Fires that Forge Endless Spines; Creations of the Golden Conflagration! (600), The Fires that Illuminate Deepest Darkness; Scintillations of the Golden Conflagration! (600), “Bahaal”: The Fires that Devour Nearby Matter; Restorations of the Golden Conflagration! (300), The Fires that Conjure Strange Devices; Communications of the Golden Conflagration! (0).
Super Moves (1200): Offensive Command Word: “Bahaal” (600), Defensive Command Word: “Bahaal” (600).
Transformations (0):
Assists (0):
Items (300): Mobile Dataverse Device (100), Communicator (200).
Artefacts:
Bases (0):
Unlocks (3000): Stat Upgrade I [DEF] (1000), Stat Upgrade II [DEF] (2000).
Base stats:
ATK: 2
DEF: 6
SPD: 2
TEC: 2



List of Contents

1. Description (Appearance, Personality & Combat Style)
2. History
3. Statistics, Proficiencies & Powers
4. Moves & Super Moves

This has been a long time coming, might as well make it official.

CHARACTER NAME: The Yellow Hulk

CHARACTER SOURCE: OC/alternate universe

CHARACTER HISTORY: Few know the origin of the rampaging monstrosity known as “The Yellow Hulk”, mostly because he started out as a relatively unremarkable physicist. Starry-eyed and fresh out of college Bruce began research on a previously unknown form of radiation which he had lovingly dubbed “B-waves”. This radiation came solely from an alien artefact recovered from a crashed asteroid. The artefact was a long cylindrical object, yellow in coloration and slightly curved. Bruce burned the candle at both ends studying this fascinating object. For several years the young scientist failed to make any breakthrough and was summarily regarded as a failure within the scientific community. Threatened to be stripped from the project the haggard scientist did the unthinkable. Without wearing the proper safety equipment Bruce entered the artefact’s enclosure submitting himself to an untold amount of “B-waves”. In one fell swoop he took the alien object, peeled its hard outer casing away, and ate the soft and sweet insides.

Bruce’s body absorbed more “B-waves” than anyone ever thought possible. As his horrified peers watched his body began to take on a yellow hue. His meager muscles grew to gigantic proportions, eventually tearing his clothes asunder. Once the transformation was complete the mild mannered scientist known at "Dr. Bruce Bannaner" was no more and all that remained was the slippery monstrosity simply named "The Yellow Hulk."

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: When not angered Bruce Bannaner is a middle aged man with a full head of brown hair. Due to his chaotic lifestyle he is often sporting a disheveled look and a thin veneer of stubble. The only remarkable thing about Bruce Bannaner is his skin is slightly slick with a foreign substance. However, when angered his body takes on a yellow tinge. His skin becomes moister and slipperier and his muscle mass increases tenfold, often tearing his clothing to ribbons.

[spoiler][/spoiler]

STATS:
ATK: 6
DEF: 0
SPD: 6
TEC: 0

Two Stat Unlocks (3000)

STARTING PROFICIENCIES: Physical Strength (1000), Area Defense Proficiency (400)

STARTING POWERS: Super Speed (1000), Burst Movement (800), Master Super Jumping (800), Malleability (1000), Growth (800), Advanced Regeneration (2200), Survival (2000)

STARTING MOVES:

The Ol’ Slip and Dip (300) - Requires Super Speed, Burst Movement, and Physical Strength
[spoiler] “You wouldn’t like me when I’m slippery”

The Yellow Hulk’s body becomes unnaturally slippery when he becomes angry. Taking a running start Bruce Bannaner dives forward and begins to slide on his belly, picking up speed as he slides across any surface, unfettered by any notion of friction. In his home universe there was no upper limit on how fast he could get, one time he even broke lightspeed (but only for a moment and it ruined the rest of the universe so he promised to never go that fast again). In the Omniverse he can only attain a top speed of 80 MPH. If he collides into someone they slip and fall and have a bad day.[/spoiler]

The Ol’ Slide and Ride (300) - Requires Super Speed, Malleability

[spoiler] Controlling his uninhibited rage for a few moments The Yellow Hulk can take the form of a yellow surfboard, allowing his allies to use him as a radical form of transportation. His friction-immune body is capable of sliding across any terrain, eventually hitting a max speed of 80 MPH. [/spoiler]

Slipperiest substance known to mankind (600) Requires Area Defense, Physical Strength

[spoiler] The Yellow Hulk’s body is constantly secreted the slipperiest chemical known to mankind. Should he be hit by anything but a direct blow the attack will simply slip off him.

Additionally he leaves behind a trail of this substance wherever he walks. Anyone that steps onto this substances slips and falls in an incredibly hilarious fashion, kinda like this dude on ice. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOJbZcQBE4o [/spoiler]

AVATAR OF SLIP (1000) Tier one power-up

[Spoiler] Should someone anger The Yellow Hulk more than usual he enters a state of pure undiluted rage. His body becomes like 10 times more slippery and he begins a frictionless rampage.

ATK + 2
DEF + 1
SPD + 2
[/spoiler]


I confirm that I have read and agreed to the Rules of Conduct. Yeah sure

Where did you find us? Google searched for websites with the best April Fool’s pranks and found this one, I hope my lubed up monstrosity fits in well with the super secret 18+ forum.

[spoiler] God, please don't take this seriously is only first of April joke [/spoiler]

I've been made aware that the link for Forum Roleplay may be borked. Continue without it until staff corrects the situation or we drop it. Thank you.

You like having more people to play with, right? That was a rhetorical question, because having more people to write with is awesome. Do you also like OM? If the answer is 'yes', which OBVIOUSLY it is, then please vote for us on the following sites!

RPGfix (every 12 hours. If you register, your votes count as x2. Worth the couple of minutes to make an account if you're going to be voting every day) https://www.rpgfix.com/site/the-omniverse.538/vote
Top RP Sites (Daily) https://www.toprpsites.com/
Forum Roleplay (Daily. Please also leave a rating/review/comment!) http://forumroleplay.gotop100.com/in.php?ref=431
Top Site List Planet (Daily.) http://www.top-site-list.com/jaycatschoice/vote/461934


Vote on all sites, then post here with "Vote 1". When you vote on all sites again, post "Vote 2". You are allowed to vote again 12 hours after your previous vote, and we're okay if that only affects RPGfix. However, you should be trying to vote on all sites, as the reset times vary.

Tl;dr: Vote for all the sites, put "1". Next day, do the same and put "2". If you're really hardcore, you can vote every 12 hours, but it's not necessary.

If we find out your votes aren't being counted (and yes, we take the times you voted into account) we will give you the benefit of the doubt the first time as a mistake. However, if it happens again, or if we think you're not bothering or simply haven't read this, we will remove your voting privileges and you will no longer be eligible for this monthly bonus.

At the end of the month, if you posted ...

5-10 times: You get 100 OM.
11-16 times: You get 200 OM.
17-22 times: You get 300 OM.
23-28 times: You get 400 OM.
29+ times: 500 OM, and a fistbump from me for being so damn diligent.

If you have an alternate character and wish to claim your reward on that account as opposed to your main one, please let us know in the topic before the month ends. If you don't, we'll assume you want the OM on the account you posted with.

Thanks for voting everyone! If you have time, please also leave a vote and review for us on Top RPG sites(once only).

(I did this on Mobile, so excuse the ugly links)

Purchases and Deductions for Ahana Varma go here!

Current post count: (your current post count, viewable below your avatar)
Current Earned OM: (your current Earned OM, viewable next to your posts)
Current Spent OM: (total, viewable on your roster)
Buying: (whatever it is you want to buy. If purchasing a move you MUST link to the approval). Cost: (the cost) OM
New Spent OM in category: (your new total spent on Moves, Powers or whatever it was you bought)
New Overall Spent OM: (your total Spent OM after the purchase)

All moves must be approved here before purchase.

Purchases and Deductions for Segata Sanshiro go here!!!!

Current post count: (your current post count, viewable below your avatar)
Current Earned OM: (your current Earned OM, viewable next to your posts)
Current Spent OM: (total, viewable on your roster)
Buying: (whatever it is you want to buy. If purchasing a move you MUST link to the approval). Cost: (the cost) OM
New Spent OM in category: (your new total spent on Moves, Powers or whatever it was you bought)
New Overall Spent OM: (your total Spent OM after the purchase)

All moves must be approved here before purchase.

So I'm aware that there's a rumour that some of us are keeping an 18+ forum, and there were some screenshots posted and whatever. I messed up a permission and Reese was able to see into a forum that he shouldn't have been able to, and was only able to see the topic titles, so there might have been some misconstruement.

Basically in order to test posts, me and some others have a test forum set up to test the OM gain, rest points and other things. We keep it private so as not to bother you guys, but as an in-joke, we make some of the thread titles dirty things like. "Sex roleplay" and so on. This is just a joke, and the forum is for test purposes only.