OmniTwitter: Posts from Primes

[The Future Warrior]

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futurewarrior
Made it to the safehouse. Got Isaac back up and walking again. Out and moving again!



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futurewarrior
Found an item drop! Heading toward it.



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futurewarrior
Ran into something really bad. Lost the first item I picked up.



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futurewarrior
@TheREALCell This is the guy that ambushed me and Isaac and took the item I had grabbed before. Watch out for him. He's awful.



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futurewarrior
I just realized Cell will probably see that. Maybe shouldn't have done that.



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futurewarrior
@Isabelle You mean DA? It's one of those things that uses letters to stand for words. Makes it quicker to say.



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futurewarrior
@Isabelle In this case it's talking about Dante's Abyss! It's some kind of big competition they have every year. Or something like that. I think they show it live on the dataverse?



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futurewarrior
@Isabelle It's apparently pretty popular. You should watch it, if you can!



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futurewarrior
Oh, hang on, found the location for the item drop, gotta look for it!

[Handsome Jack]

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TheREALCell
@futurewarrior Oh! Hey Blueberry! Thanks for the item and the shoutout. If it makes you feel better, I got jacked too. Probably not, but it ain’t like I care about your feelings anyway. Tell your boyfriend I say “hi”. Toodles!




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TheREALCell
Decided to check out this “Google” everyone has been telling me to try. Put my name in. Definitely should have turned on “safe search”. That was a mistake.




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TheREALCell
Listen people. Me and 18 ain’t happening the way your little fantasies want to play it out. Why? 1) She’s my muggafudging sister! That’s just sick. 2) I don’t even have fudging genitals! I reproduce asexually! 3)WHEN I eat her, it definitely won’t be like THAT! No. Bad internet. No.




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TheREALCell
@Isabelle Had no idea who you were. Decided to Google you up. Forgot to turn safe-search off. And, hate to tell you this, but… Well, you should find out for yourself. Let’s just say that “Googling” is the least of your worries.

[Guu]

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Guu
There's just so much freedom in not being in an endless quest anymore. Felt like I was on that one for a year.



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Guu
Party was great. Went a little overboard.



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Guu
@CheddarTanooki Yes, that was me with Gildarts.



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Guu
Turns out having good company for an evening is genuinely nice. Not something I expected.



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Guu
@CheddarTanooki Me and Omni have an understanding. I mean, his name is Omni, he's flexible.



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Guu
@CheddarTanooki Also, Gildarts isn't the type to settle down, so I guess he's kind of more my side.



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Guu
Anyways, I'm going to the DA spectator area. If anyone there wants to hang, I'd be down for it.



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Guu
@FrackinFrogger1211 I'm not staying more than a day.



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Guu
@FrackinFrogger1211 I can watch the whole thing at home, why do I need to stay at the stadium the whole time?



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Guu
@FrackinFrogger1211 So? You have to watch them on screens in the stadium, too!



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Guu
@FrackinFrogger1211 Go see a psychiatrist.



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Guu
@FrackinFrogger1211 Oh yeah, go for the suicide commands, what is this your first day in troll school?




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Guu
@FrackenFrogger1211 Wait... it is? I'm sorry, I didn't know. Good luck in school.




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Guu
Just another day on the twitterverse.

[Isabelle]

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Isabelle
@futurewarrior Like a sports thing? Never been too into sports outside kart racing... I'll take a quick peek, though, see what's popular in the Omniverse.



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Isabelle
WHAT?!? IT'S A FIGHT TO THE DEATH THING? WHY IS THIS POPULAR?



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Isabelle
This is horrifying! Is this really what people like? ;-;



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Isabelle
@futurewarrior Why Mr. Warrior, why would you sign up for a thing where you could die? I mean you might be a prime, I hope you are a prime... But even if you ressurect, what's the



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Isabelle
@futurewarrior I just realized I was being a hypocrite. I'm sorry! ^^;



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Isabelle
But it's still terrible people are heaping love and support to this. This is awful! D:



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Isabelle
I need to get my mind off of that... Who else was referring to me.



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Isabelle
@TheREALCell That's an interesting name! Are you a man of science?



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Isabelle
@TheREALCell Alright! I'll do that right now!



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Isabelle
@TheREALCell why



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Isabelle
@TheREALCell WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME WHAT IT IS? WHY DID I NEED TO SEE THAT?



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Isabelle
Where did they even get these images... OH NO, IS ONE OF MY SISTERS IN THE OMNIVERSE? IS SHE DOING SMUT TO GET BY?



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Isabelle
Please hang in there sis, I'll find you someday. D;

[Larfleeze]

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ChakravartinWuKong
Survived first culling #DA17




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ChakravartinWuKong
Huh, there's other gods here. Though I suppose it wouldn't be likely I'm the only one. #GodEnel



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ChakravartinWuKong
Got pretty lucky, actually. Both of them were tougher than I was expecting. Primes are not to be underestimated.



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ChakravartinWuKong
It's all very exciting. Although I'm wondering why neither of my allies have made it to the safehouse.



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ChakravartinWuKong
Oh. #DA17 #Lostagoodone



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ChakravartinWuKong
Ah well, he'll be back in seven days, none the worse for wear. If anything, he's lucky. I'm going to have to deal with one eye.




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ChakravartinWuKong
If we should happen to not meet again, dancing demon, know that we shall win DA in your honor! #Goingtowin #GoldenAlliance17

[The Future Warrior]

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futurewarrior
@Isabelle What's a sports? Is that what this is?



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futurewarrior
@Isabelle Hey! I'm not a mister anything! I mean I guess that kind of wasn't obvious or anything over the internet though. So it's okay.



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futurewarrior
@Isabelle Also wait a minute, this is a fight to the death?!


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futurewarrior
Oooooh no I didn't know DA was a fight to the death. This makes things bad.



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futurewarrior
Primes don't...stay dead if they die, right? This is concerning.



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futurewarrior
@Isabelle Also yep, I'm a prime! So I should be okay even if I lose. I think. Hopefully!



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futurewarrior
@Isabelle Oh also, what's a hypocrite?



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futurewarrior
Anyway, so I had just grabbed an item with my new space-man friend, Isaac and suddenly everything was different. I was up in the Colosseum!



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futurewarrior
I got to fight two people up there! Some strange human guy with guns and a really funny way of talking. And @TheREALCell, too!



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futurewarrior
I'm pretty sure I didn't win, which kinda sucks, but I think I did okay! It was fun!



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futurewarrior
Kinda bummed I got separated from my friends twice in a row, though.



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futurewarrior
But I did manage to make it all not so bad! I teamed up with the two guys from the Colosseum, and now we're going hunting for items and stuff!



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futurewarrior
Already found one!



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futurewarrior
They won't tell me what it is though. It looks funny.



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futurewarrior
Oh well. Back to wandering, I guess.



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futurewarrior
Also, hey! I was checking over the rules and participants and stuff, and I saw Zedd was in here! Hey, Zedd! If you're still around, we should find each other!

[Isabelle]

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Isabelle
@furturewarrior Oh! My apologise Miss Warrior! I should have checked your profile first.



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Isabelle
@futurewarrior Oh, you're profile is empty! You should fill that! At least the parts about your gender, sexual orientation, relationship status... I mean, it's important to know if I should call you Miss or Mrs!



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Isabelle
@futurewarrior Sports are like... games, competitive games that focus on specific skills to win, mostly athleticism. I guess DA would count though I haven't seen too many sports where the intention is for people to die, though. >.<



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Isabelle
@futurewarrior I can't tell what species you belong to from your avatar photo, btw. Are you some sort of squid? I know plenty of octopi back home!



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Isabelle
@futurewarrior A hypocrite is someone who chastises another of something they are guilty of themselves. I'm signed up to compete in a very dangerous race soon, so I'm in no place to judge your choices!



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Isabelle
@futurewarrior Oh! If you are a prime you should be fine... I think. I mean, the titan told me primes come back to life and stuff.



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Isabelle
Why is everyone freaking out about my conversation with Miss FutureWarrior? I never got to talk to a squid before... I mean, aside from Inklings but they are different.



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Isabelle
@Kobaltsky Why did you link me that? Why did you draw that so fast? And tentcles, really? How original.



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Isabelle
I had a conversation with theREALCell earlier and I didn't see porn of that.



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Isabelle
Oh, there was porn of that.



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Isabelle
Oh god, the tail goes where? >,>

[The Future Warrior]

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futurewarrior
@Isabelle Wait, there's a profile on this thing? Oh, wow, that's cool. So many things to fill out...



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futurewarrior
@Isabelle Oh, yeah, also don't worry about it! Like I said, it's not a big deal.



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futurewarrior
@Isabelle Wait, what's the difference between Miss and Mrs.???



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futurewarrior
It has to do with relationships or something? That seems kinda weird.



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futurewarrior
@Isabelle Ooooh, wow. Sports sound kinda fun! I'm good at athletic stuff! I should look into that maybe.



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futurewarrior
@Isabelle But dying usually isn't so good. That's pretty much a constant, I think. Even when it's not permanent, dying really sucks!



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futurewarrior
@Isabelle Oh, what species I am? I, uh...one second



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futurewarrior
@Isabelle Okay so I had to go look up what a species is. I'm a majin! It's like a demon or something, but we're made from magic and stuff! My parents didn't really explain it well.



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futurewarrior
@Isabelle But it's like...my parents tore off pieces of themselves, combined them together and then magic'd life into it and the result was me!



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futurewarrior
@Isabelle Most people think it's kinda weird. But it seems pretty normal to me!



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futurewarrior
@Isabelle Oh, so that's what a hypocrite is... Well, you realize you were doing it, and you apologized and stuff, so I guess that makes it okay this time!



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futurewarrior
@Isabelle But you said you were competing in some kind of race or something? That sounds really cool! I'm kind of occupied, but is there like any way to watch it or something? Maybe when I get a break here I could watch and cheer you on or something!



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futurewarrior
@Isabelle Oh, primes do come back to life? Awesome! Yeah, that makes things a lot easier.



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futurewarrior
It still feels kinda weird to be teaming up with @TheREALCell... I dunno. Maybe I'll get over it. He's a pretty strong ally, at least, so I'd rather have him on my side than against me!



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futurewarrior
@GodEnel Hey! Your name says you're a god! Are you really though?



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futurewarrior
@GodEnel Oh, oh, what are you a god of? Destruction, like Lord Beerus, maybe? Or something else?



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futurewarrior
@GodEnel I bet you're really strong! And really cool! Gods always are!



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futurewarrior
Oh hang on I think we gotta get moving again.

[Handsome Jack]

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TheREALCell
@Isabelle I’m MADE from Science… is that what you’re asking?




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TheREALCell
@Isabelle You’d never have believed me if I just told you. Don’t even lie. I can tell.




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TheREALCell
@futurewarrior And I got to fight a talking stick of Double Bubble and Double O Syphilis. Fun!




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TheREALCell
@futurewarrior And NOW I’m stuck with you both. The fun times never end! Nah. You guys are cool. As cool as a Devil Fruit Smoothie from your local Five and Dime!




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TheREALCell
@Isabelle WHAT are you talking about? Did you get on Google again? WHY!?!




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TheREALCell
@Isabelle Oh… oh dear god… what is wrong with people? This is the exact reason why I’m going to drink every single last one of them.




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TheREALCell
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I am an asexual being. Stop trying to put your “labels” and “genitals” on me. We live in a beautiful rainbow world of sexualities and genders. #Ace




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TheREALCell
@Isabelle NOT that you aren’t an attractive… dog… person. But you ain’t my type. Sorry, not with OHarmony could make us compatible, and they have a 99% success rating!




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TheREALCell
Fuck you all. Not literally. Just in that I’m going to turn you all into bioenergy to fuel me.



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TheREALCell
Got electrocuted for that last tweet. Totally worth.




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TheREALCell
@futurewarrior It IS weird. Know what else is weird? THAT I ONLY HAVE ONE EYE NOW!




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TheREALCell
@Kobaltsky Ok. Who the fudge are you?! AND WHY DID YOU SEND ME THAT PICTURE?!!




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TheREALCell
@Kobaltsky You’ll be the first to die when I’m off this island.

[Isabelle]

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Isabelle
@futurewarrior My race is coming this Friday starting 9am Coruscant time. The schedule did warn about time distillation. I guess that's a thing in the Omniverse?



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Isabelle
@futurewarrior I'll just tweet ya an hour before the race starts or something, or maybe after it's been uploaded to the internet if I survive.



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Isabelle
@futurewarrior You seem quite pleasant! We should have a full chat sometime when our lives aren't in danger.

[Jak Mar]

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Orange Lightning/Daxter
@Anyone- My buddy's in the Colosseum! GO DYNAMITE MAR!

[Tearen Wover]

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tearenwover
DA17 Viewers interested in my full Underverse Story should stay tuned to my stream; full disclosure in a little while.



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tearenwover
Looks like we're going to have company for dinner in Safehouse B, including the peope I just beat up. That's okay. You guys like chutney?



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tearenwover
My latest fight was grueling and I'm glad it's done, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to see the footage.

[Gildarts]

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Gildarts Clive
So uh, pancakes anyone? #pancakes



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Gildarts Clive
Shout out to my Ambrosian Bros! #brosia


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Gildarts Clive
I am wet. And my cool cape is toast. And not in the warm way. #scrapsandrags


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Gildarts Clive
Nealaphh doesn't have 3 eyes anymore and I cannot take credit for it. #facelift #faceoff #surgery?


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Gildarts Clive
Guu if you can read this: hi #hehe #cute #girl


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Gildarts Clive
Molly look away from the blood! #horror #yikes #wow #thatallcamefromme?


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Gildarts Clive
Illidan. Dude. You're a beast. #scourgeofdarkshire


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Gildarts Clive
OW. OW. OW. #painisreal


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Gildarts Clive
You know it's bad when your OTHER arm hurts #appendage #steel #pain #numb #armless



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Gildarts Clive
Karl Jak you are getting blamed for me getting SINGED in PLACES. #PLACES


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Gildarts Clive
I have a chainsaw. But I don't know how to turn it on... #vroom


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Gildarts Clive

So I was like getting medical treatment and the nurse-maid lady vanished mid-stitch. Guess my wounds really ARE that bad. #eventhenurseranaway


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Gildarts Clive
Uh.. These pancakes aren't that bad, right? #worstchef #yum #blueberries #or #bugs?


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Gildarts Clive
MY HAND IS ON FIRE. I don't remember touching anything flammable... Except... OH #smartprime #mage #chef #flames #getlitson

[The Future Warrior]

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futurewarrior
@Isabelle Oooh, okay! Time does work kinda funny around here sometimes. I'll be sure and tune in to watch if I can!



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futurewarrior
@Isabelle And hey, yeah! That could be fun. Maybe when we're both done surviving these weird and dangerous competitions!



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futurewarrior
It happened again! I met up with Zedd and then he just disappeared right when we were about to find an item! This place sucks!



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futurewarrior
But I guess we did find an item. And I think Zedd just went up to the Colosseum, like I did before.



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futurewarrior
Oh, oh, maybe I can watch his fight!



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futurewarrior
Gotta get to the safehouse so I got someplace nice and calm to do that.



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futurewarrior
@Gildarts Clive Hey, what's a pancakes?

[Gildarts]

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Gildarts Clive
Okay so someone is telling me I yank the rope thingy to make the chainsaw run? #helpful #fans #lifesaver @secondary18567


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Gildarts Clive
@secondary134890 OH. Yeah not really sure what a selfie stick is still, but I can always use it as an extendable cane or lightning rod #electricity #stick #bat #cane


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Gildarts Clive
@secondary990998 Listen, you can cook your OWN pancakes if you don’t like the way I do it. #boss #chefGildarts #please #comeon #getyourownegglesspancakes #thisissurvivalnotmasterchef #burnt


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Gildarts Clive
@secondary69daddy No GODS NO, I’m not gay! #o-oh #kinkystuff #womanlover #straightmage


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Gildarts Clive
@batty9957 No, I like my eggs scrambled #eggs #don’thaveany #sorry #floppypancrepes


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Gildarts Clive
@Tearenfan89777 Listen, Tearenfan89777 YOU should team up with Tearen instead of trying to kill him #sass #comeback #bro


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Gildarts Clive
@Tearenfan89777 Well I don’t even know why I’m a prime! I can only assume that Omni brought me here by accident #notformymuscles #flex #Omnivore #primehood #omni

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Gildarts Clive
@Tearenfan89777 I don’t have the answers for you, we were in battle, it happened, OK? #unknown #goaskomni #goodluck


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Gildarts Clive
@foodie93 French Fries


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Gildarts Clive
@Camelotgirllocal420 Bounty? What do you mean by that? #camelot #cultures #omniverse #strangeworld


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Gildarts Clive
@Camelotgirllocal420 I didn’t intentionally do that, sorry that happened to your mom. Come see me after this and I can try and make it right #mistakes #sinner #tooOP #forgiveness


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Gildarts Clive
@Camelotgirllocal420 Sorry I’m not good at typing with one hand. You know, cause… yeah #Ionlyhaveonehand #therecanonlybeone

[Gildarts]

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Gildarts Clive
@futurewarrior Pancakes are food you eat for breakfast #yum


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Gildarts Clive
@secondarycitizen86 Guys don’t hate on a grown man’s pancakes. Not all food on a crazy island can be appetizing #haters #thisistimeconsuming #withonehand


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Gildarts Clive
When is Illidan gonna wake up? #bae


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Gildarts Clive
@secondarycitizen86 I think I can tell a troll from a human, but if you think I’m wrong you can deal with it #sunglassemoji #dealwithit #troll?


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Gildarts Clive
What is a troll? @futurewarrior

[The Future Warrior]

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futurewarrior
@Gildarts Clive Oh, pancakes sound pretty good.



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futurewarrior
Not to self for after Dante's Abyss: Pancakes.



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futurewarrior
@Gildarts Clive Oh, a troll? Well, there's like...two kinds, based on what I was told.



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futurewarrior
@Gildarts Clive There's...alien trolls, that come from Alternia or something. They seem pretty okay.



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futurewarrior
@Gildarts Clive Then there's internet trolls, which are...pretty awful? They make fun of people and deliberately try to start arguments or make people mad.



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futurewarrior
@Gildarts Clive They do it just because they think it's funny or something.



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futurewarrior
@Gildarts Clive Also wait, are you a part of DA???

[Gildarts]

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Gildarts Clive
The magical tablet Karl gave me stopped working #why #pieceofcrap #magichasfailedme


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Gildarts Clive
@secondary8976575 What do you mean I got it wet? Magic isn’t often heeded by the weather…


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Gildarts Clive
@secondary8976575 Basically if it glows in the dark it is magic and if it doesn’t it’s a normal item like a lifeless book #logic #mage


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Gildarts Clive
@secondary8976575 Well I didn’t MEAN to break it. I’ll just use Illidan’s while he’s sleeping to map out my next course #illidan #map #sleep


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Gildarts Clive
How was I supposed to know technology breaks when it gets wet? #logic #justadude #techsavvy #not


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Gildarts Clive
You mean I’m not getting PAID for this event? #clowns

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Gildarts Clive
Internet trolls are NOT FUNNY #trolls #newdiscovery #what #internet?


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Gildarts Clive
@robotsecondarycoruscant77 No, my arm is NOT mechanical, it is magic! It will work even if it rains. But it isn’t in good shape right now. Come back later.


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Gildarts Clive
@futurewarrior Am I a... part of DA? keptic: who are you? HOW DO YOU KNOW THESE THINGS ABOUT ME? #DAIII #horror #day2 #i'mnotalone #islandantics


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Gildarts Clive
@futurewarrior WHERE ARE YOU ? #DAIII #island #paranoia #LOST


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Gildarts Clive
@futurewarrior Internet trolls do not sound very nice at all #internettrolls #realtrolls


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Gildarts Clive
@futurewarrior whatever you do do not let me cook you pancakes. My mind tends to run away and then the food SOMETIMES burns. Mira is a much better cook.



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Gildarts Clive
@secondary3334 What are… Italics?

[The Future Warrior]

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futurewarrior
@Gildarts Clive Oh, who am I? Name's Graowr! I'm a majin. Which is kind of like a demon or something made of magic except not really. It's complicated.



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futurewarrior
@Gildarts Clive Also I didn't really know anything about you. I mean, I do now I guess.



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futurewarrior
@Gildarts Clive You did kind of just say you're in DA.



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futurewarrior
@Gildarts Clive Also you kept mentioning being on an island, and Karl Jak, and a tablet he gave you and stuff. It wasn't hard to figure out!



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futurewarrior
@Gildarts Clive And I'm down south on the island! Pretty far down there. I forget what sub-zone exactly. Kind of half-drowned.



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futurewarrior
And now it's raining. Great! I like the rain!



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futurewarrior
@Gildarts Clive I've never met an internet troll, but they do sound pretty awful.



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futurewarrior
@Gildarts Clive I've met a real troll, though! He was pretty cool!



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futurewarrior
@Gildarts Clive Burning food isn't good. But hey, at least it only happens sometimes! If you do it enough you'll get better and then sometimes will become no times!



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futurewarrior
@Gildarts Clive Also at least you know how to cook at all. That's more than I can do. I burn stuff all the time!



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futurewarrior
It seems like no one else likes the rain. Why, though?



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futurewarrior
The rain is great I don't get you guys.

[Gildarts]

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Gildarts Clive
@shipper1153 I’m not sure I understand you, we aren’t near a boatyard? #ship? #float


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Gildarts Clive
@shipper1153 Unless you wanna help me escape the island which I am NOT getting paid for. Guess you can win stuff at the end though? #maybe #notreally #karlistheonlywinner


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Gildarts Clive
What does it mean when someone puts an X between two names?


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Gildarts Clive
Example: TamsinXGildarts #ship?


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Gildarts Clive
Another example: IllidanXGildarts #listenIdonthaveaboat


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Gildarts Clive
Final Example: TearenXGildarts #?


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Gildarts Clive
Nevermind I think I figured it out. You want me to team up with them? #fans #otp? #curious?


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Gildarts Clive
@Tearenfan89777 You wrote me a fanfic? What is that? #fans #hownice #TearenxGildarts?


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Gildarts Clive
@Tearenfan89777 I uh… Don’t think… That is legal in my homeland… Oh my....


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Gildarts Clive
...


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Gildarts Clive
I AM BIND #sendhelp


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Gildarts Clive
Oh sorry I meant BLIND. Though Bind does make more sense according to your … fantasy article about me @Tearenfan89777


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Gildarts Clive
OOHHH so that is what the X means. #ships #island #shipping


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Gildarts Clive
Do people ever ship GildartsXGuu? I wonder. #ambrosianprince #ambrosia #GuuxGildarts #princess #queen