OmniTwitter: Posts from Primes

[Handsome Jack]

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TheREALCell
@futurewarrior Oh! Hey Blueberry! Thanks for the item and the shoutout. If it makes you feel better, I got jacked too. Probably not, but it ain’t like I care about your feelings anyway. Tell your boyfriend I say “hi”. Toodles!




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TheREALCell
Decided to check out this “Google” everyone has been telling me to try. Put my name in. Definitely should have turned on “safe search”. That was a mistake.




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TheREALCell
Listen people. Me and 18 ain’t happening the way your little fantasies want to play it out. Why? 1) She’s my muggafudging sister! That’s just sick. 2) I don’t even have fudging genitals! I reproduce asexually! 3)WHEN I eat her, it definitely won’t be like THAT! No. Bad internet. No.




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TheREALCell
@Isabelle Had no idea who you were. Decided to Google you up. Forgot to turn safe-search off. And, hate to tell you this, but… Well, you should find out for yourself. Let’s just say that “Googling” is the least of your worries.