06-16-2017, 07:07 PM
Dante’s Abyss Power Rankings - Preshow
32. Tamsin Suzaku – A serving girl who seeks her green friend. The making of a best-selling young adult series. Way too pleasant and way too oblivious-looking. We’ll see.
31. Lord Zedd – No clothes? No skin? No problem for me.
30. Deadpool – Another year, another time where Mr. Wade shows up fully clothed and stands around until the game starts. Boring! Huge disappointment.
29. Madbull – Another year, another cop? I hope this one doesn’t threaten me with the cuffs (or do I? :*)
28. “The Humble Sage” – An old man with no name. I half-expect us to find out he’s “TRAPPED IN THE OMNIVERSE GOD NUMBER 2432342” by Day 2.
27. Enel – TRAPPED IN THE OMNIVERSE GOD NUMBER 2432335
26. Batman – Please stop smoking. It’s bad for your lungs.
25. Odin – TRAPPED IN THE OMNIVERSE GOD NUMBER 2432357
24. Harry Potter – A wizard. Wizard? How quaint.
23. Archer – You might not want to announce to the world that you’re a secret agent. Defeats the purpose. Also, your suit is cheap.
22. Gamzee – Are you sure you wouldn’t rather sign a sponsorship with Pepsi? They pay better than the second-rate competition you peddle.
21. Dane – I’m always a fan of the rugged look. Grow your hair a little more and you could probably make some money posing for romance novels.
20. Jak Mar – Oh, you’re back! I’m sure you’ll have a blast this time =)
19. Malon – See “Suzaku, Tamsin.”
18. Clownpiece – Some type of evil fairy from hell?! Sign me up, sounds fun.
17. Isaac – If you’re attempting to fill the ‘metal marine-looking thing’ niche, you have an uphill battle *single tear*
16. Bendy – Man, we got fairies from hell, and we got cartoon demons. And they told me I couldn’t top the cat-dog from last year.
15. Cirno – Two fairies?! Sounds like the beginning of my summer vacation.
14. Cell – Hahahahahaha. And I thought Gero wouldn’t take me seriously.
13. Illidan – What’s it like to be with Dracula? Does he bite hard or is it more of a gentle nibble??
12. Wu Kong – You don’t look Asian?
11. Abyss – You have a squid on your head. *muffling in background* Oh, that is your head. Lovely. So do you always smell the ocean?!
10. Strazio Rockwell – Oh, Mr. Rockwell. Won’t help me find my missing plane, but the moment we mention violence, you’re beating the door down. Clap, clap.
9. Dawn – A cold-blooded killer. I’m going to call you “Evil Samus.”
8. Little Ghost – Adorable. A midget with butterfly wings and a nail. And to think, the last time around all we had going for us was that little mouse guy.
7. Vic Hendy – A handyman from Coruscant. My people tell me this guy seems dumb and naïve. Has a nice look about him.
6. Shinmen – “Not Hiro.”
5. Dust – A self-described ‘lazy beach bum’. I have some nice cabanas you can stay in after this event, if you don’t have summer plans?
4. Gradawdasfsdfasd – I think this is a typo. ‘The blue girl thing with the dumb face’? Huh.
3. Tony Redgrave – What a stupid, stereotypical Caucasian name. I’m not even buying these names at this point.
2. Tearen Woever – You can change a face and a body, but you can’t change what you are. Trust me, I’d know.
1. Gildarts – Wade is a lazy bum. This is the de facto “I know how to kill people on an island” person. Comes with metal, karate-chopping action. And we don’t have any scary minority women to hack off your limbs.
32. Tamsin Suzaku – A serving girl who seeks her green friend. The making of a best-selling young adult series. Way too pleasant and way too oblivious-looking. We’ll see.
31. Lord Zedd – No clothes? No skin? No problem for me.
30. Deadpool – Another year, another time where Mr. Wade shows up fully clothed and stands around until the game starts. Boring! Huge disappointment.
29. Madbull – Another year, another cop? I hope this one doesn’t threaten me with the cuffs (or do I? :*)
28. “The Humble Sage” – An old man with no name. I half-expect us to find out he’s “TRAPPED IN THE OMNIVERSE GOD NUMBER 2432342” by Day 2.
27. Enel – TRAPPED IN THE OMNIVERSE GOD NUMBER 2432335
26. Batman – Please stop smoking. It’s bad for your lungs.
25. Odin – TRAPPED IN THE OMNIVERSE GOD NUMBER 2432357
24. Harry Potter – A wizard. Wizard? How quaint.
23. Archer – You might not want to announce to the world that you’re a secret agent. Defeats the purpose. Also, your suit is cheap.
22. Gamzee – Are you sure you wouldn’t rather sign a sponsorship with Pepsi? They pay better than the second-rate competition you peddle.
21. Dane – I’m always a fan of the rugged look. Grow your hair a little more and you could probably make some money posing for romance novels.
20. Jak Mar – Oh, you’re back! I’m sure you’ll have a blast this time =)
19. Malon – See “Suzaku, Tamsin.”
18. Clownpiece – Some type of evil fairy from hell?! Sign me up, sounds fun.
17. Isaac – If you’re attempting to fill the ‘metal marine-looking thing’ niche, you have an uphill battle *single tear*
16. Bendy – Man, we got fairies from hell, and we got cartoon demons. And they told me I couldn’t top the cat-dog from last year.
15. Cirno – Two fairies?! Sounds like the beginning of my summer vacation.
14. Cell – Hahahahahaha. And I thought Gero wouldn’t take me seriously.
13. Illidan – What’s it like to be with Dracula? Does he bite hard or is it more of a gentle nibble??
12. Wu Kong – You don’t look Asian?
11. Abyss – You have a squid on your head. *muffling in background* Oh, that is your head. Lovely. So do you always smell the ocean?!
10. Strazio Rockwell – Oh, Mr. Rockwell. Won’t help me find my missing plane, but the moment we mention violence, you’re beating the door down. Clap, clap.
9. Dawn – A cold-blooded killer. I’m going to call you “Evil Samus.”
8. Little Ghost – Adorable. A midget with butterfly wings and a nail. And to think, the last time around all we had going for us was that little mouse guy.
7. Vic Hendy – A handyman from Coruscant. My people tell me this guy seems dumb and naïve. Has a nice look about him.
6. Shinmen – “Not Hiro.”
5. Dust – A self-described ‘lazy beach bum’. I have some nice cabanas you can stay in after this event, if you don’t have summer plans?
4. Gradawdasfsdfasd – I think this is a typo. ‘The blue girl thing with the dumb face’? Huh.
3. Tony Redgrave – What a stupid, stereotypical Caucasian name. I’m not even buying these names at this point.
2. Tearen Woever – You can change a face and a body, but you can’t change what you are. Trust me, I’d know.
1. Gildarts – Wade is a lazy bum. This is the de facto “I know how to kill people on an island” person. Comes with metal, karate-chopping action. And we don’t have any scary minority women to hack off your limbs.
![[Image: KarlSig.jpg]](http://omniverse-rpg.com/images/KarlSig.jpg)