04-07-2016, 12:27 AM
[spoiler]I'm really sleepy, so I'm sorry if this is a weird post. I'm very busy, and it looked Demmy wasn't going to post, so I went ahead and wrapped it up. I hope that's okay. [/spoiler]
The wall split in half and the stone engravings crumbled at the sound of the roar. It resonated throughout the whole tomb and shook the core of Doc’s bones.
“Oh, look,” Doc grumbled, “Final boss.”
“Yes, I believe that will be the mother phoenix.”
Dr. McNinja glanced at Finn.
“Hold up, did you say mother phoenix?”
The walls finally stopped crumbling, revealing a red glowing heat which almost blew the pair back. Doc drew his sword.
GROOOARRR
“That’s a phoenix,” Finn explained.
“I guessed as much,” McNinja squeaked, “Though it’s a bit bigger than I imagined.”
The bird was about three times his height, and seemed to consist entirely out of flames. It might as well have been a dragon, if the dragon was not material in any sense, but instead a raging creature made of combustion itself. The rocks around it seemed to sweat in the sheer heat of it, but Doc might have been projecting.
“Isn’t it bad to kill an endangered creature like this?” Doc hissed, “I’m not sure how comfortable with this I am anymore.”
“Phoenixes are immortal, doctor.”
“Oh. Right,” Doc rolled his neck and sighed. “Let’s get to work.”
Finn drank another potion, the effects of which eluded Doc at the time. Dr. McNinja would be too busy to see, however, since he was already hopping from one end to the other on the rough craggy walls of the dome in which the phoenix resided. The phoenix flapped its “wings”, which spread scorching flames where Doc was standing moments before, which seemed to reach for Doc’s legs before they sputtered out. The phoenix really was just a sentient fire.
Well, how do you kill a fire?
Finn seemed to already have thought this out. He chanted something, and his veins started flashing a blue-green light under his skin. His eyes lit up the same color, then Finn abruptly started screaming. Eventually, the screams seemed to be drowned out by another gurgling noise.
“Are you a fireman?” Doc shouted. “Is that a thing you do?”
His answer was a giant stream of water that substantially doused the phoenix. This clearly agitated the bird. The phoenix roared again and seemed to prepare to strike at the alchemist. Doc sighed.
“Oy, you combustible chicken!” Doc hollered. “Why’d you cross the road?”
He threw one of his flashbangs at what seemed to be the phoenix’s head. Clearly, it was still a living creature somehow, because it reacted to the flashbang. However, the effects of the grenade only lasted one second on the freakish fire bird. It certainly got its attention. Doc, swinging about like a volcanic Tarzan on his grappling hook, used Lucky Seven to throw a barrage of ninja stars, but to no avail.
“Ooooof course,” Doc grumbled. “What was I honestly thinking?”
The phoenix, clearly frustrated by what was happening, raised both its wings and slammed them into the ceiling. The impact started a tremor, causing what was looking like a cave-in.
“Errr okay I think we’re done here.”
Finn seemed to be running out of water in his lungs, and was now just coughing out the residue, as if he had just been drowning moments before. Doc swung down to grab Finn and dropped him off by the entrance to the room.
“But Doctor-”
“You stay here, buddy,” McNinja snapped. “Doctor’s orders.”
“It’s too dangerous-”
“I’m a ninja, Finn.”
“That doesn’t ensure your survival-”
“Ah ah ah, see, that’s where you’re all wrong,” Doc chuckled. He prepped himself to launch back into the fray.
“I’m also a doctor.”
He jumped forward, latching his grappling hook onto the ceiling again to swing in a circle around the titanic burning parrot, dodging random fireballs that Doc felt the phoenix really should have started using earlier in the battle before this last-ditch effort to cave-in the intruders.
When Doc landed on the far wall, he scanned the phoenix and the room for any other sources of water before the room caved in for good. That’s when he felt it.
The room really was sweating.
Not like that, no, that’d be gross. But there was definitely moisture very shallow into the rock. There was a good chance that the phoenix, for some stupid reason, camped out under a river or something.
“Stupid bird,” Doc bantered, pulling chainsaw nunchuks from his coat. The bird squawked at the awesomeness of such a weapon. Dr. McNinja used the momentary distraction to fling the nunchuks as hard as he can at the wall. These were real chainsaws after all, and in McNinja’s world, everything mechanical exploded upon destruction. So…
BOOOM
Water started seeping very very slowly into the room, as if the room was peeing its pants. Dr. McNinja glanced at the phoenix, who was just as bewildered by the events. Doc smiled.
“We cool, right?”
The phoenix roared one last time, forcing Doc to dodge again. He swung many times around the room.
Outside, Finn was getting worried. The cave was now really collapsing, and rocks were falling around their ears -
A white and black blur swept Finn off his feet as Doc grappled out of the temple real quick-like.
***
“What a waste of a mission,” Finn grumbled.
“Eh, I thought it went well.”
“We have no vehicle with which we might return to Ambrosia. Our objective is now covered in several metric tons of rock and fire. And I’ve used some of my more potent and… difficult potions. Such a rare ingredient…”
Dr. McNinja pulled out the phoenix egg from his pocket. Finn blinked.
“But… Doctor, how-”
“Not just any Doctor,” Doc said triumphantly, “Doctor McNinja.”
The sun was starting to set, and the trek back to the city was long. The new friends started marching back, engaged in life-changing existential conversations.
“Hey.”
“Yes, doctor?”
“Wanna hold the fiery death egg?”
“I’m quite alright.”
“Suit yourself.”
The wall split in half and the stone engravings crumbled at the sound of the roar. It resonated throughout the whole tomb and shook the core of Doc’s bones.
“Oh, look,” Doc grumbled, “Final boss.”
“Yes, I believe that will be the mother phoenix.”
Dr. McNinja glanced at Finn.
“Hold up, did you say mother phoenix?”
The walls finally stopped crumbling, revealing a red glowing heat which almost blew the pair back. Doc drew his sword.
GROOOARRR
“That’s a phoenix,” Finn explained.
“I guessed as much,” McNinja squeaked, “Though it’s a bit bigger than I imagined.”
The bird was about three times his height, and seemed to consist entirely out of flames. It might as well have been a dragon, if the dragon was not material in any sense, but instead a raging creature made of combustion itself. The rocks around it seemed to sweat in the sheer heat of it, but Doc might have been projecting.
“Isn’t it bad to kill an endangered creature like this?” Doc hissed, “I’m not sure how comfortable with this I am anymore.”
“Phoenixes are immortal, doctor.”
“Oh. Right,” Doc rolled his neck and sighed. “Let’s get to work.”
Finn drank another potion, the effects of which eluded Doc at the time. Dr. McNinja would be too busy to see, however, since he was already hopping from one end to the other on the rough craggy walls of the dome in which the phoenix resided. The phoenix flapped its “wings”, which spread scorching flames where Doc was standing moments before, which seemed to reach for Doc’s legs before they sputtered out. The phoenix really was just a sentient fire.
Well, how do you kill a fire?
Finn seemed to already have thought this out. He chanted something, and his veins started flashing a blue-green light under his skin. His eyes lit up the same color, then Finn abruptly started screaming. Eventually, the screams seemed to be drowned out by another gurgling noise.
“Are you a fireman?” Doc shouted. “Is that a thing you do?”
His answer was a giant stream of water that substantially doused the phoenix. This clearly agitated the bird. The phoenix roared again and seemed to prepare to strike at the alchemist. Doc sighed.
“Oy, you combustible chicken!” Doc hollered. “Why’d you cross the road?”
He threw one of his flashbangs at what seemed to be the phoenix’s head. Clearly, it was still a living creature somehow, because it reacted to the flashbang. However, the effects of the grenade only lasted one second on the freakish fire bird. It certainly got its attention. Doc, swinging about like a volcanic Tarzan on his grappling hook, used Lucky Seven to throw a barrage of ninja stars, but to no avail.
“Ooooof course,” Doc grumbled. “What was I honestly thinking?”
The phoenix, clearly frustrated by what was happening, raised both its wings and slammed them into the ceiling. The impact started a tremor, causing what was looking like a cave-in.
“Errr okay I think we’re done here.”
Finn seemed to be running out of water in his lungs, and was now just coughing out the residue, as if he had just been drowning moments before. Doc swung down to grab Finn and dropped him off by the entrance to the room.
“But Doctor-”
“You stay here, buddy,” McNinja snapped. “Doctor’s orders.”
“It’s too dangerous-”
“I’m a ninja, Finn.”
“That doesn’t ensure your survival-”
“Ah ah ah, see, that’s where you’re all wrong,” Doc chuckled. He prepped himself to launch back into the fray.
“I’m also a doctor.”
He jumped forward, latching his grappling hook onto the ceiling again to swing in a circle around the titanic burning parrot, dodging random fireballs that Doc felt the phoenix really should have started using earlier in the battle before this last-ditch effort to cave-in the intruders.
When Doc landed on the far wall, he scanned the phoenix and the room for any other sources of water before the room caved in for good. That’s when he felt it.
The room really was sweating.
Not like that, no, that’d be gross. But there was definitely moisture very shallow into the rock. There was a good chance that the phoenix, for some stupid reason, camped out under a river or something.
“Stupid bird,” Doc bantered, pulling chainsaw nunchuks from his coat. The bird squawked at the awesomeness of such a weapon. Dr. McNinja used the momentary distraction to fling the nunchuks as hard as he can at the wall. These were real chainsaws after all, and in McNinja’s world, everything mechanical exploded upon destruction. So…
BOOOM
Water started seeping very very slowly into the room, as if the room was peeing its pants. Dr. McNinja glanced at the phoenix, who was just as bewildered by the events. Doc smiled.
“We cool, right?”
The phoenix roared one last time, forcing Doc to dodge again. He swung many times around the room.
Outside, Finn was getting worried. The cave was now really collapsing, and rocks were falling around their ears -
A white and black blur swept Finn off his feet as Doc grappled out of the temple real quick-like.
***
“What a waste of a mission,” Finn grumbled.
“Eh, I thought it went well.”
“We have no vehicle with which we might return to Ambrosia. Our objective is now covered in several metric tons of rock and fire. And I’ve used some of my more potent and… difficult potions. Such a rare ingredient…”
Dr. McNinja pulled out the phoenix egg from his pocket. Finn blinked.
“But… Doctor, how-”
“Not just any Doctor,” Doc said triumphantly, “Doctor McNinja.”
The sun was starting to set, and the trek back to the city was long. The new friends started marching back, engaged in life-changing existential conversations.
“Hey.”
“Yes, doctor?”
“Wanna hold the fiery death egg?”
“I’m quite alright.”
“Suit yourself.”
![[Image: 665000_mcninja_by_cavenglok-dch0qt5.jpg]](https://orig00.deviantart.net/3590/f/2018/193/c/8/665000_mcninja_by_cavenglok-dch0qt5.jpg)
Odd hours. Call for appointment.