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Green with Guilt - Demetri Malius - 02-22-2016
Once the duo came upon the tangled Green, Demetri came to a stop and extracted his motorbike. It would be wise not to attract too much suspicion, though it would be hard to tell what exactly was defined as suspicious in the Tangled. Either way, if would mot likely be faster on foot. With IRIS taking control of his perception and awareness, he could focus more easily. Her HUD was extremely useful, and often times she spoke his status, enjoying her new form.
"Woah, so it looks like you don't necessarily need food or water, BUT YOU STILL HAVE STATUS LEVELS FOR BOTH. I think it's a psychological thing, like with your brain. That's supposed to be like your CPU and RAM in one right?"
"I suppose it would be, yes."
" Hey, it says here that you are lying, you don't know what I am talking about do you?"
"That is also true."
"That's okay," she spoke with a mechanical giggle."I think I know what I am talking about at least. Oooh, it also says your omnilium levels too, how did you manage to make all of this Creator?"
"To be honest, IRIS, I am unsure. Most of your hardware seem beyond my understanding. It is likely that the forces of omnilium adapt you to what I wish for you to be."
"Probably, it's still cool, though."
"On that thought, what do you mean by my Omnilium levels?"
"You can see how much your omnilium is distributed among your abilities I think. It shows it in percentage!"
"Can you relay the information please, IRIS?"
"Of course!"
"I appreciate it, lass."
"Anything for you, Creator." She spoke softly, making Demetri a bit uncomfortable. She seemed a bit too eager to help him at times, seeing him as her master or something. Especially when she referred to him as Creator. To him she seemed equal, the only difference being that she was summoned by him and not Omni. "Alright, now it seems that around sixteen percent of your omnilium is factored into your weapons and items that are able to be summoned at will. Fifty-one percent is allocated to keep your abilities sharp and your powers functioning. Twenty-six percent is focused on combat ability and your physique. Four percent is allocated to special abilities, and the rest is in reserve. "
"That is some valuable information, are others able to gain any of that knowledge from you?"
"I believe we are skilled enough to combat any viruses or outside sources that might try to glean any bits of information from you, but it is possible. We can take this information from others too, but it takes time. "
"I see. Most of your display aids in what I need to know, correct?"
"Yup!, Anything you need!"
Demetri nodded as they continued through the dense jungle of the Tangled green, walking for hours until they came to a small city. It managed to be in a rather large clearing.
They entered the village of Ambrosia and began to take a look around. many vendors and merchants were out selling goods, and everything seemed rather modernized. Dataverse devices didn't seem scarce at all here, in fact, many citizens seemed to be going about on their devices on social media. What a waste of time, or so Demetri thought.
"Notice anyone out of the ordinary, IRIS?"
"Not yet, everyone seems... normal"
As he susp[ected. he supposed that the criminal and shady sort wouldn't be hanging around at the entrance of the village though they would definitely stay close to hear about any newcomers or distance news. As a citizen bumped into Demetri without giving any thought and continuing ion their way, the thief began to doubt his old ways of investigation.
"Let's just head a bit deeper in."
Re: Green with Guilt - Demetri Malius - 02-22-2016
There wasn't the city of Ambrosia. It was rather peaceful, though bustling with citizens about their business. A few low beeps alerted the thief as they continued to the center of the city.
"There is talk about you in the Dataverse, Creator."
"It seems so. These mindless villagers seem to have quite a keen eye. What is it they called them, racists?"
"Well, yeah that's what they called them, Creator, but-"
"Then it appears we must be careful if this town is full of racists. They could be at any corner, attempting to single us out among the crowd. Perhaps we should make a more subtle approach. "
There was a giggle before IRIS decided to go along with her Creator's error. "Yes, it would be advisable, our options would be either stealth or disguise. However-"
"A disguise would allow us to interact with the people instead of purely observing them. No need to explain IRIS." He responded with a smirk.
"Heheh."
They wandered along until they came upon a store with some kind of weird person in a suit in front of it shouting about deals on costumes.
"I am unfamiliar with this, would those costumes, make a good disguise?"
IRIS thought for a moment, before giving a confirming beep, hiding her mischievous plan.
"Aye. Then we shall investigate a proper outfit."
They entered the store which had bright banners signifying great deals and percentages of this and that. After some browsing they came upon a chicken outfit.
"What ridiculousness is this."
"OH CREATOR. THIS ONE WOULD BE PERFECT." Low hums follow her exclamation, though it didn't give away her ruse.
"That? How preposterous. I would stick out like a beggar among kings."
"Yes, and what kind of thief would do such a thing?"
"None would be caught dead."
"EXACTLY.THEY WOULD SUSPECT NOTHING."
"... it is times like these I appreciate your insight, IRIS."
Within minutes the thief found himself inside the steaming suit that was to be a giant chicken.
"This is quite uncomfortable. I can hardly see."
"Allow me, Creaheheh... ahem Creator." IRIS could barely hold back her laughter. The thief looked ridiculous. However, she initiated some air conditioning within the suit to regulate his body temperature and used his sensory details to create a picture on his visor of everything around him. Omnilium was turned into oxygen as he breathed within the stuffy suit.
"IRIS, before we continue the search, perhaps we can test the security of this city. Let us find a victim vendor and see what we can get away with."
"Of course, my fine-feathered Creator. Heheh..."
Re: Green with Guilt - Yu Kanda - 02-23-2016
Kanda opened his eyes, he was back in Ambrosia, after all that has happened he returned to where it all began. It wasn't long before Birgitta came storming towards him, "Finally! You took your sweet time getting here!" Immediately she managed to get on Kanda's nerves.
"What are you complaining about? I came didn't I? Stop your complaining and tell me what exactly is going on here."
Birgitta didn't want to give in so easily but she actually needed him, "Many of our residents have been bringing in reports about a strange individual that has been seen lurking through the streets. They don't know whether its a traveler, thief, spy or even a murderer. And when i went out to look i did not notice anyone matching that description, I am afraid something is going on Kanda."
The exorcists nodded, "I see, and where is Guu? Usually she is the one pie slapping trespassers."
"She hasn't been around for a while, ever since she visited the coliseum we haven't seen her here."
Kanda took a moment to gather his thoughts, "Very well, I will go out and see for myself, -IF- there is someone out of the ordinary here i will find him. But if this person is indeed dangerous i will defend myself, none of that bullshit that happened before.
Birgitta knew it had no use arguing with Kanda regarding this and simply agreed. Both Birgitta and the swordsmen exited the palace and walked towards the streets of Ambrosia, " Contact me if you discover something out of the ordinary." Kanda commanded his previous parole officer. He did enjoy it but he wouldn't show it, he was once again an exorcist of the order, a General at that. Keeping up the good name of the order was something he had to do.
Walking through the streets he kept a sharp eye open, his hand was leaning on his katana as always, ready for anything like a good soldier would. It was time to flush out the rats.
Re: Green with Guilt - Demetri Malius - 02-23-2016
It wasn't long before the thief was using his disguise to commit minor thefts throughout the city. With his suppression, bringing items out of the stores through the scanners was no problem. In fact, it was even boring. Where was the adrenaline, the guards aitting at every corner, "citizen this", "citizen that". It was all rather nonchalant.
If he wanted to really get some action and test this place. He would have to do the one thing theives would not try to do. Get caught.
Now, there wasnt much of his liking to take. Simple trinkets were no longer valuable to him. That is until something came across his senses.
"Creator, there is another prime here. We are getting a lot of interference trying to detect and analyze him, it is most likely that he has your ability to mask himself, just as you do."
Demetri stopped for a moment, using the advantage of his disguise to get closer, pretending to be a jester as he sqwuaked here and there.
"I see, what can we tell so far?"
"Most of his omnilium reserves seem to be focused on his combat ability and his sword. He must be a guard or warrior of the sort. He is likely more advanced than you are."
"What if we were to remove the sword?"
"It may be extremely difficult to do, but its possible. A weapon with that much omnilium enforced in it may be a bit heavy in your hands."
"Of course. I wouldn't think otherwise. Perhaps in the future we should focus on being able to wield these weapons efficiently. But that is for a later date. Now what are the chances that I will be able to take this weapon?"
"Approximately ten percent chance that you will succeed, his skills are rather impressive."
"So be it, it will be a true test of the security here. If we can get away, we can consider anything in Ambrosia ours for the taking."
With a grin the thief created his projected image as he faded in his own chicken suit, his duplicate squawking away. Demetei snuck behind the prime, cautious and silent footsteps as his hand reached forwards. It was a still moment before his fingers grasped the hilt, and by the time the man had reached to his side his weapon was gone.
With a twirl the thief stabbed the sword through the suit and shoved it into his leather satchel, the blade dissapearing into the void and vanishing from sight.
"You bastard! Hand me back my weapon.... thief?"
The demon hunter turned to find himself faced with a man in a giant chicken suit. Not exactly who he was expecting to have swiped his sword. With a grit of his teeth he yelled out again.
"You heard me, you thief?"
The image faded as the real chicken-thief was already climbing upon the nearest building, small chains grapsing the roof as he climbed up.
With his image gone, Demetri took a glance to see his pursuer. The black and white imaging IRIS privided was clear and crisp as he watched the angry warrior charge forwards to him.
What worried the thief most was his own weight. The chains were starting to strain as he felt himself slowed by the trophies in his satchel. Certainly this would not be good for the pursuit.
Quote:Demetri has miraculously stolen Mugen, and is now slowed by the items in his satchel. Speed reduced to 4.
Re: Green with Guilt - Yu Kanda - 02-24-2016
Preposterous.
Not only did someone manage to sneak up on Kanda and steal his sword. He was now in pursuit of the thief wearing the most ridiculous chicken costume he has ever seen, how shameful. However the thief may have disguised himself he was still a pretty skilled one. Making his way across the rooftops elegantly and fast like a gazelle running down a field. Kanda on the other hand was hunting like a furious lion, his eyes set upon his prey and in full pursuit.
Demetri was hauling ass in his yellow bird costume as IRIS couldn't help but mock him and the current situation he was in, "Creator, i am obligated to notify you just how ridiculous this looks, an adult man in a chicken costume running on top of rooftops." Demetri did not look amused.
"I knew this was a stupid idea! Damnit how do i get rid of this guy, he sure loves his sword."
"May i suggest losing him on the higher rooftops up ahead?" IRIS spoke. The thief noticed the roofs she spoke of, this was his chance to get away from his pursuer. Shooting his chain against the wall he started making his way up, halfway up hr looked down and did not see the exorcist anywhere. Thinking he lost his tail he crawled on top of the roof sitting a moment to catch his breath.
"Hand over the sword, thief" a strict sounding voice spoke from the other side of the roof. Demetri turned around and saw Kanda standing mere meters away from him. "What the?! How did you get up here."
Within his ear he heard IRIS yell, "Creator, i suggest you run instead of asking questions." Demetri didn't hesitate and jumped down, using his chains to swing by the wall. With the momentum he created he leapt over a rooftop and landed on the next. Like a cat on the run he rushed over a few buildings before hiding. Slowly the chicken man peered over his hiding spot, "Looks like its clear."
From behind the yellow dressed man the same voice spoke once more, " Surrender or i will put you down. Startled the sword thief turned around, once more Kanda was behind him. Not giving IRIS another opportunity to mock him he got up ready to run again, but immediately stopped when he saw the spectacle in front of him. Kanda allowed his angelic wings of pure blue innocence energy to spread high and wide. Within his left arm a strange symbol appeared on his arm from which his blood started to flow. The blood started to mix with the energy and created a blood red bow, taking steady aim at the giant chicken he calmly spoke, "Last chance, thief."
"Warning, large quantities of Omnilium are gathering around the prime. Caution is advised."IRIS spoke.
Demetri, who was frozen at the spot stared directly in Kanda's eyes, "Yeah, tell me something i don't know."
Re: Green with Guilt - Demetri Malius - 02-25-2016
"Warning, large quantities of Omnilium are gathering around the prime. Caution is advised."
The thief's eyes darted back and forth, the light from the screen lighting up his face underneath the mask while he scanned for valuable information on IRIS's HUD. Nothing but errors and unknowns were revealed to him, a sign that he may be in deeper trouble than he originally thought.
"Aye, lass, and tell me something I don't know."
"That you look dashing in a chicken suit?"
"I have no need for compliments right now, IRIS..."
with how much omnilium this man appeared to be generating, Demetri would put him on par with the sorcerer or the warlock, and from the looks of it, he was forming a transformation. From his experience in Nippur, Demetri knew that those transformations were not something to play with. He needed to move, NOW.
"IRIS, activates stealth m- OOF"
Suddenly, in a burst of speed, the demon-hunter was in the thief's face, his fist in his stomach, knocking the air out of him as he was launched off the edge of the building.
A cough sounded through the air as the prime struggled to breathe.
"He moved at 300% your current speed."
"We, " he was interrupted by another cough as they flew through the air. "We are not going to be able to keep up with this man. What is our best course of action?"
As he waited for his answer, a chain shot out from the suit to the edge of the building, the thief using it to swing back to the floor and kill his momentum as the demon hunter jumped down and followed him on the ground.
"Activating duplicate images."
As they moved through the streets, Demetri began to split, one chicken becoming five. An old couple sat on their porch with an older looking house, chickens in their front yard. Both wore glasses but neither seemed to have their eyes open all they way, the wrinkles from their eyelids seemingly blocking their vision.
"BILL YOUR CHICKENS ARE LOOSE AGAIN!"
"DAGNABBIT THAT'S THE FOURTH TIME THIS MONTH WOMAN! LOCK THE DAMN PEN!"
The band of thieving chickens paid no mind to the old coots as they began to change direction, some heading over rooftops while others rushed through the streets.
"Damn..." the demon hunter grunted. He would be fast enough to chase after a few of them, but which one was made of real chicken?
Re: Green with Guilt - Yu Kanda - 02-27-2016
Blasted! This thief has a few tricks up his sleeve, Kanda's eyes darted between the multiple copies that scattered in every direction. There was no way to tell which one was the original. As fast as his body allowed him he prepared an arrow and fired it at the easiest target, fleeing straight ahead of him. The arrow soared through the sky, piercing the image of the thief, "Tsh, wrong one." Another chicken costumed fraud was hauling ass over a rooftop. Kanda took aim and with great accuracy shot him right through its head. Alas, another clone.
Demetri witnessed the execution of his clone and swallowed the lump in his throat, that could've been him. "Creator, smart move, but you will run out of clones eventually, may I suggest another change of costume? "
Not falling for it again he told his partner to stay out of it, "Like i am falling for that one again, what kind of idiot do you take me for IRIS?" The words hadn't left his lips or another one of Demetri's clones got penetrated by several arrows, "Alright, maybe it's not the worst idea." His voice had a hint of fear in it, IRIS picked up on that, a perfect chance to manipulate him to her wishes even more. Quickly running in to one of the stores one of the chicken men vanished from the streets.
High above the streets of Ambrosia the angelic wings of innocence carry Kanda in his search for the thief. The bastard will pay for touching Mugen, he will regret ever laying eyes on it. The exorcist was feeding his hatred by thinking of thoughts of the thief violating his precious weapon. As a hawk he watched for any more men in chicken suits. He managed to kill the ones he found, but none of them were the real deal. The citizens of Ambrosia looked up as the angel like prime flew above the streets patrolling them in search for his target. Most of them didn't know what to think, some of them even got frightened and closed their doors.
Keeping his wings up were draining his powers quickly, he landed on top of one of the roofs and dispersed the energy that created his wings. The blue energy bursted into several tiny pieces, returning to the sky. If he lost the unknown criminal now he would most likely never see his sword again, and that was unacceptable. Desperately he walked around the edges from the building, looking down for a sign. And as if his prayers were answered, in one of the streets he did not see a chicken costume, but a man, of the same height, same build in a giant Guu costume. Kanda took a moment before actually believing it might be possible. Did that idiot truly believe he could get out wearing something as obvious as that. The suspect was walking towards the city border, and that was exactly where Kanda would be.
"You were right IRIS, this was the perfect costume to get away, no one suspected a thing." Wearing the pink wig, pink dress and noodle looking arms, IRIS could barely contain her laughter. "Yes Creator, you sure showed them." Closing in on the town's border the thief started to calm down a bit, the adrenaline from before started to disappear. He was home-free, until a hand rested upon his shoulder. Slowly Demetri turned around, and found himself face to face with a pissed off exorcist who's eyes were as threatening as the devil himself. Feeling himself shrink to the size of an ant he couldn't speak a single proper sentence. He slowly took out the sword he managed to steal and handed it over without vocalizing a single thought. The exorcist grabbed the weapon and inspected it before releasing it from its sheath.
"Mugen, unsheathe." The warrior spoke as he activated his iconic weapon.
"Creator, I must inform you that the weapon is displaying another massive amount of Omnilium." Ignoring the voice that is stating the obvious Demetri took a few steps back. Not that it would matter if he got cut down now.
Kanda took a proper stance in front of the thief, ready to strike. Demetri raised his arms, apologizing for taking the weapon in the first place. When a third voice crashed the party, "Kanda! What are you doing?!" Birgitta found her pit bull and came to tell him what's what. "this is not how we handle things in Ambrosia, you should be ashamed of yourself. And you Mr.thief, you are lucky i was here to stop him. You are hereby no longer welcome here, I suggest you leave!.
Both men, immediately shut down by the girl, looked away. Kanda grunted once when he placed the weapon back on his side, Demetri just stared towards the floor, "Alright, I will take my leave." With a head hanging down between his shoulders, he turned around in his pretty pink dress and pretty pink wig, and started walking away from the city.
"Don't let me catch you again."The exorcist spoke loudly.
underneath the pink hair Demetri showed a grin and whispered, "Next time you won't." His hand opening his satchel, looking at an exact copy of the sword as he wandered off.
Re: Green with Guilt - Demetri Malius - 03-01-2016
Finneas gawked at the visual anomaly occurring right before his eyes. There was not one, but five identical giant chickens being chased by Yu Kanda, one of the princess's royal guard. Was this guy crazy? Probably. But wait?
The alchemist lowered his goggles as he zoomed in onto the chicken and demon hunter, before noticing that the royal guard's sword was missing. Was it possible that this absurd chicken managed to, by some miracle, steal the man's sword?
Impossible! The royal guard was unmatched. Unless this chicken was more than he seemed. In a hurry, the alchemist dug through his bag, frantically looking for something to aid him. What did he have? A few healing potions, some random potions... damn and they arent labeled!
Finn continued to press forward and hide behind trash cans as he struggled to chase the primes. Just as he thought he was gonna collapse from exhaustion, the thief was caught. By this time he was wearing another suit, making him look like Guu.
The alchemist put his hands on his knees as he wheezed, before adjsting his goggles to get a closer look from afar.
"That sly dog..."
He watched and noticed as the thief gave the prime a simple copy of the sword, a simple illusion, tricking Yu Kanda into creating another one using his belief in its truth. Amazing tactics for a fool in a chicken suit.
Finn caught his breath and began to stroll down the street as the thief was kicked out of the city. With subtle movements he followed as the thief walked out of the city and into the forest, keeping his distance and using his goggles as they went on the road. He hid behind trees, trying to stay hidden from the simply walking outcast. But something was wrong. Had he been seen? No, impossinle, he planned his movements perfectly. Wait.
He took a closer look.
It's an illusion.
Then a voice behind him.
"And what business do you have trying to stalk a thief? Especially when that thief is a prime?"
Whelp. Time to think of something. And fast.
RE: Green with Guilt - Dr. McNinja - 03-02-2016
Dr. McNinja scowled as he continued to stroll under the tree.
"Seriously, I was supposed to do something. Ugh..."
He swung his hands back and forth, pondering what it was he had forgotten. There was something very, very important... Something that held McNinja's life in the balance... Perhaps a hatred and fear, spawned by an entire community's disgust at the perversions of their values.
"Eh, probably not that important," Doc mumbled.
Dr. McNinja must be a very forgetful man.
"Unless I forgot to feed Yoshi," Doc muttered, "Wait, I didn't forget, did I?"
He was now maybe a twenty-minute walk away from Ambrosia. The thought of returning to his new home was... fine? Chances were, Matilda would immediately send him to another job.
"Dinosaurs probably don't even eat candy. Yeah. Yeah, the Candy People will be fiiiine"
Snap.
"GAH STEALTH" Doc internally screamed. He shot upwards, a ninja bullet with PhDs. He latched onto a branch and used his upward momentum to swing around, catching himself with his feet, then landed on the branch. Thanks to the physics of the Omniverse, Doc was now able to not just hide crazy good, but be literally invisible.
But it seemed kinda redundant for the target. The man was totally oblivious to his surroundings. He seemed to be eyeing something ahead of him very intently. Doc, curious, leaned forward ever so slightly. His (albeit imperfect) invisibility shimmered slightly in response to the movement.
Then he saw the illusion.
Clearly, the traveler was following what he thought was a man. But even with his sense stripped from him, Doc realized that a figure that seemed to shimmer out of nowhere can't be real. Well, then again, this was the Omniverse, where Micky Mouse killed people and Pokemon were terrorists.
He swayed back and forth, adjusting his angle of vision slightly to see if the illusion was fractal or something. It wasn't. It was as if the illusion was quite literally a copy of whoever was conjuring it.
Doc scowled. He couldn't even tell if a simple doppelganger was actually the original anymore. For all he knew, this was the original guy.
But it couldn't have been, given the same exact man, having shimmered back into existence, was now sneaking up behind his stalker.
"And what business," the maybe-maybe-not-doppleganger hissed, "do you have in trying to stalk a thief? Especially when that thief is a prime?"
Doc silently leapt to another branch. Not that silently, apparently. The self-proclaimed thief twitched when he landed on the next branch, but thankfully didn't think too much of it.
"Uh," the stalker spluttered, "I was just- that disguise you had was just so- so- so intriguing and-"
The man calmed down a bit. "I just wanted to know how you did it."
"Alright, Doc," McNinja thought to himself, "I'm pretty sure that's a criminal. So... What would Batman do?"
He gathered his coat around him, as if he was preparing his cape, and practiced his best scowl.
"Take him out," Doc snarled quietly.
This time, the thief really did notice him. He looked straight up and seemed to glare under his mask directly at Doc.
"Relax," McNinja told himself, "He can't see me."
"I can see you!" the thief shouted.
"He can see me," Doc grumbled, "and I am literally the worst ninja ever."
He drew his sword and jumped down onto the ground, his frame warping as he came out of invisibility. He pointed the blade at the thief.
"Alright, you crook," Doc growled, "You may have caught me, but I won't-"
The thief whipped out a small dagger, deflecting Doc's blade. McNinja didn't lose grip of his sword, but he relaxed his arm a bit.
"Okay! No showing off! Let's just talk! That's cool!"
Doc stuck his hand out. "My name is Dr. McNinja. I'm a general physician and I kinda just wanted to say hi. Sorry about the thing I tried to pull. Must've been from all the training with Batman."
He grinned. "What's your name please-don't-kill-me?"
RE: Green with Guilt - Demetri Malius - 03-02-2016
"... Must've been from all the training with Batman."
Batman? Demetri was about to ask who this poorly named villain was before the doc continued.
The masked doctor grinned. "What's your name please-don't-kill-me?"
Demetri gave a quick glance at the alchemist. Sure he had easily caught them, but their skills were admirable. For the stealthy doctor, it was clear that with enough effort, he could have masked his presence, the amount of skill he had was impressive. He need only to apply it.
"My name is Demetri Malius. As much as I would want to demonstrate what happens when I am followed, I have other matters to attend to. Luckily, both of you seem competent enough."
The doctor gave a raised eyebrow.
"Hey, I'll have you know I can beat Superman in arm wrestling. I'm more than just competent." The ninja doctor boasted while flexing his arm, and even though Demetri had no idea who these characters were, he couldn't help but question their truth.
"See, I am a master of my art, but I cannot act upon the entirety of this realm alone. I need others who can help in my endeavors, and others who I can count on to keep me up to date."
The doctor stroked his chin as he thought about it. "Sounds interesting... what's in it for me?"
Demetri laid it out for him. "A soon to be network of information across the eight verses, any information we gt becomes yours, and we shall also protect you from the law, bounties and the like."
The doc's interest was piqued at the word bounty. Well, if they could help with that, then just in case he managed to get himself in deep he would have someone to call in. Sometimes, going against the law was required for his goals.
"Now, you, with the goggles."
"Yes?"
"Are you a local resident?"
"I.. uh.. yeah I am." The alchemist seemed a bit worried.
"What is your occupation."
"I'm an alchemist, the best in Ambrosia." The man seemed to gain an ounce of confidence, proudly huffing his chest.
An alchemist? That would sure come in handy. Demetri had dwindled a bit with alchemy, but he was no expert in that.
"I'll make you a deal, keep my allies and I up to date with events and whenever you need any exotic ingredients that require a bit of... picking. You come to us, and we will get it. "
The alchemist gave a smile. He was no law breaker, but this deal much more than tempting. As long as he kept his own nose clean he could have access to a much wider array of materials and ingredients in which to create experiments. He was sold. "Don't have to ask me twice. The name is Finneas, by the way."
"Well met, Finneas, Finn if I may. I hope business runs smoothly between us." He gave a green as they shook hands, before Finn then began his trek back to Ambrosia, a look of anxiousness and excitement in his face for future experiments.
"Now back to you, Doctor... Mcninja was it? I must say I haven't heard that surname before. What say you about joining my side? I shall soon be deploying a base of operations in Camelot. You may join me in my journey to Camelot, perhaps go off on your own goals if you wish, or, if Finneas has any requests in mind, you two may help each other out. He may be able to provide you with materials for any of your medicine. I will keep you updated on anything pertaining to the guild. I trust you accept my offer?"
RE: Green with Guilt - Dr. McNinja - 03-03-2016
“Yeah, McNinja,” Doc said, “It’s Irish. Mostly.”
“Well met!” Demetri Malius replied, “What say you about joining my side?”
Demetri explained to Doc exactly what he had in mind when he said "his side". That alchemist (pfft, magic) Finn was now heading towards what looked like Ambrosia. It was starting to look like Dr. McNinja would be running into Finn quite often.
"Camelot, huh?" Doc shrugged. "Well, here’s the thing. I just moved into Ambrosia a few days ago. I was hoping to settle a bit. Plus, I don't have my ride. But uh... I had a bit of a question."
"Of course."
"Uh... see..." Doc licked his lips. “I ran into a... a bit of trouble with a local ninja clan. They think I’m a panty-stealing ninja-killer. To their credit, I did kill a few of them in self-defense, but anyways they’re probably waiting to kill me.”
Dr. McNinja came a little bit closer to the thief, making sure his hands were still covering the pockets with his belongings.
“So... if this little group of yours is going to be as strong as you say... Well, it never hurts to have friends, right?”
Demetri nodded. “I suppose. So you accept, then?”
“Yeah,” Doc shrugged. “I guess I do. What are you calling the group?”
“Something along the lines...” Demetri muttered, “of Thieves’ Guild.”
Dr. McNinja frowned. “Hang on, is this a bad guys thing?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“I ain’t a bad guy. I’m a good guy.”
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“I mean, is this like some sort of evil people group?”
“Not necessarily,” Demetri assured Doc, “it’s simply a business operation. There is no judgment of character involved. But I assure you that moral qualms should not be an issue. We are simply a network of people assisting each other. I’m not starting an army.”
Doc scanned Demetri’s face. That was another advantage to always wearing a mask. People couldn’t see when your cheeks twitched, nor could they read your lips. Demetri, apparently, followed the same school of thought. And either way, Doc was having a hard time reading his face. He couldn’t tell if Demetri was being sincere.
“Aw hell, let’s shake on it,” Doc proclaimed, offering his hand, “Count me in.”
Demetri must have smiled, but the smile resembled the guild: strictly for business. “Glad to hear it, doctor. I’ll alert you of any relevant news on your Communicator.”
“Roger that,” Doc said, “Good luck with King Arthur or whatever.”
Demetri nodded briskly and turned to leave.
“Wait, uh, Demetri, one last thing.”
The elusive man turned.
“If you or your network see a man named King Radical,” Dr. McNinja said through clenched teeth, “let me know. He wears sunglasses and dresses like a whack Burger King. Probably riding a dirtbike. He is pure evil, and he plans to corrupt the world to his standards and must be stopped.”
Demetri blinked a few times, then shrugged. “Very well. I will alert you.”
“Thanks, bud. I’ll see you around.”
Dr. McNinja followed Finn back to Ambrosia.
RE: Green with Guilt - Demetri Malius - 03-03-2016
As the alchemist walked back into the city limits of Ambrosia, he started to feel rather chilly. There was a nip in the air that was unnatural for the usual hot and humid weather if the area. He took a moment to look up, and he could not believe what he was seeing as a tiny snowflake feel upon his nose, a kisss from the clouds in the sky above. What could this mean?
A voice came from behind him, the ninja with the PhD. "Hey, a little late for christmas muracles isn't it?"
The alchemist pulled out a small notebook and a pencil, sxribbling a few things down. "A miracle is subjective to the occasion. Its possible that this could be a bad omen. We can't come to a conclusion at the moment u til more time passes."
As he spoke he examined his noted, nodding as he read them and made his request, then putting both the journal and pencil away, pulling out onstead a small vial, taking about a minute to collect a sample of the mysterious snow.
" Demetri recruited you as well, didn't he? If I may ask, there is actually some assistance I can use right now to explore some ruins that I had discovered earlier this month. Would you mind accompanying me in the ruins? Based on the runes I found outside, it seems to be rather dangerous, and unlike you, death is quite permanent for me."
He then pocketed the vial and motioned for the stealthy doctor towards a brown colored shack, located right between some apartments and a run down store.
"If so, allow me to lead you to my laboratory. Mind you it is quite disorganized, but I assure you it is reasonably safe."
RE: Green with Guilt - Dr. McNinja - 03-05-2016
(sorry I've been busy I'll just reply so oyu can move forward here)
"I guess that's fine," Doc mumbled. This snow was definitely suspicious. The Green wasn't really known for its snowy winters, as far as McNinja could tell.
But for now, he needed something to do.
"So where are these ruins?" he asked, "And exactly how dangerous are we talking?"
RE: Green with Guilt - Demetri Malius - 03-07-2016
Finn nods his head, his crimson hair shuffling a bit around his goggles as he began to unlock the shack, a variety of locks and gizmos keeping it secure, but it seemed as if one might be able to easily get in by just kicking the door with enough brute strength.
"I didn't venture too far in, but it is fresh full of traps. I am unsure of any enemies that may lurk, but I had experience with a poison dart trap. It would have been lethal, had I not the antidote for it. Thank Omni for preparation and luck." He then opened the door into the lab. " Oh, and please, watch your step and hands. Some of these might have the chemical reaction to blow us both to smithereens."
The ninja gave a raise of his eyebrow before his eyes widened at the array of vials, flasks and bubbling mixtures before him. Almost nothing was labeled, and whatever was seemed to be only gibberish. He watched as the alchemist plucked a flask from the midst of them all and brought it to his nose. "As I suspected, those created quite the fine fragrance of cologne. Quite rare. I suppose i shall let the store down the street know and try to sell it once we get back. " The alchemist plugged up the flask with a crok and brought it to a large shelf, setting it with at least twenty other mixtures.
"You said that you were sure that this place is safe right?" The ninja seemed nervous. He was skilled enough to not touch anything, but knowing that something like this existed in the city disturbed him slightly, especially if it could blow up at any moment, and THIS guy was responsible for all of it.
"Yes, I can assure you. its been weeks since the last accident."
"Accident?"
"Um.... yes, but do not be alarmed. The people involved had their effects last for just a few days."
"What were the effects?"
"They had.... um.. been blinded and deafened. Which resulted in them smacking down a few more potions because of their inability to listen to me tell them to calm down after they began to panic and yell. "
The doctor was silent for a moment.
"As for those... they also grew some type of body part permanently. One was rather satisfied with his result but I dont believe one of the others was happy about their extra foot sticking out of their stomach."
Still silence.
"However, so long as you don't knock anything over you should be fine." The alchemist then grabbed a few potions and stuffed them in his bag before leading the ninja back out into the open city. The snow was heavier now, and the alchemist was suspicious, but now was not the time for it. After they finished exploring the ruins he would come back to investigate this phenomenon.
RE: Green with Guilt - Dr. McNinja - 03-08-2016
Doc gazed idly at the snow falling from the sky. The flakes were, for lack of a more accurate and less offensive term, obese. He could see the classic snowflake shape as they drifted down, laden heavy with shreds of ice. The fat snowflakes were dogpiling the ground, it seemed, until the snow was now reaching Doc’s ankles. The citizens of Ambrosia were now shoveling the snow using garden shovels, and people painted signs saying, “Beware falling ice.”
“Well, as you must have noticed, I am indeed a ninja with several PhDs,” he mumbled, reading the nametags on the bottles, “I can handle traps. I’m not sure if I can promise your safety if things get hardcore, though.”
“It would be safer with you there, yes?”
Doc shrugged. “I guess so. What are you looking for, exactly?”
“Just some phoenix eggs,” Finn mumbled casually.
McNinja flinched. “You realize that a ‘phoenix egg’ is the corpse of a phoenix that hasn’t regenerated yet?”
“Of course.”
“Soooo you live in a lab, which is apparently highly combustible and can possibly turn this side of town into either a pile of severed limbs, or into ash,” Doc continued, “and you want to bring in a highly dangerous and volatile creature’s egg? Which is essentially a living, fiery explosion waiting to happen?”
“Yes,” Finn replied, unimpressed, “I’ll need four, I think.”
“And where will you be keeping these?”
Finn shrugged. “Probably a box somewhere.”
“A box.”
“Well, I would put a stasis charm on them, obviously,” Finn chuckled, “You didn’t honestly think I would just put living flames inside a box?”
Doc laughed nervously. “Heh. No.”
“More stupid magic,” Doc thought to himself as the pair trudged in the snow.
They were now approaching the stables. Yoshi was being groomed by the stablemaster. She screeched weakly as Doc approached her.
“Hey, Yosh,” Dr. McNinja cooed as the velociraptor blinked sluggishly.
"She ain't doin good in the snow," the stablemaster commented, "what with her bein a lizard 'n all."
Dr. McNinja looked at Yoshi's eyes. Yoshi blinked back, half-comatose.
"Listen, you're not going to make it in the snow," Doc told Yoshi, "I'll call you back later, but for now, rest."
Yoshi nodded. Doc rested his hand on her neck and started extracting the Omnilium from her body. Waves of colors from the rainbow pulsed from the velociraptor as she slowly and gently disintegrated.
“That was your mount?” Finn interrupted when it was finished.
“Yeah, my friend’s pet velociraptor,” Doc replied, rubbing his hands together, “Doesn’t do well in cold, I guess. You have one?”
"I’ve rented a caravan.”
Just then the stablemaster returned, driving a dark brown mini-van that had rusted all over. Despite the fact that they were in a forest, Finn had apparently elected to use a van. Dr. McNinja cleared his throat, straightened his face and nodded solemnly. An epic quest to retrieve valuable phoenix eggs from an ancient dungeon... while riding a Ford. The two started packing the van with the alchemist's bags.
***
The frost on the ground seemed to be thinner the farther Doc and Finn rumbled away from Ambrosia, until eventually the only sign of winter around them was the snow melting in the corners of the windshield. He turned to look at his charge, Finn the alchemist.
“So,” he said awkwardly, “You do magic, then.”
RE: Green with Guilt - Demetri Malius - 03-08-2016
Finneas adjusted his glasses as the van, scrunching up his mouth a bit as he thought. "Not exactly. I guess you can call it magic if you don't know what it is, but it's just mixing up the things nature gave us and making new mixtures and applying them to the world. It's no more magic than this weird motorized vehicle. I only first saw them when I came to the omniverse. It was it hard to get through the mind."
The doc chuckled. "Yeah this van isn't the magic school bus, but I see what you mean. I'm pretty used to seeing cars, though, so it's no biggie. Did you manage to bring anything with you from your old world."
" I used to know a few spells just in case things got hairy, but since coming here they stopped working. Harder to get the rarer ingredients when most stuff out here can take you out in a few seconds. I'm a little faster and tougher than most, but I am no knight or warrior. And certainly not a ninja or doctor like yourself, let along a ninja doctor. " The alchemist chuckled a bit, the ninja giving a smirk behind his mask.
A crack scattered across the windshield as suddenly a giant vine whipped across the van, causing the vehicle to spin out of control. The alchemist grunted as he unbuckled his seatbelt, calling out to his companion. "Get out the back! It's a-" McnNinja was already out of the van, slicing away at large tentacle-like green vines, a giant flower dripping drool from its mouth, looking rather hungry.
The alchemist stumbled as the van twisted into the air, seeing the rows of sharp teeth in the plants mouth as he hung on for dear life, his fingerless gloves showing his white knuckles as he clamped onto the seat. The plant opened its mouth and chomped down on the rear of the vehicle, a crunching and grinding of metal and rubber as it shredded the material in its mouth.
Finn quickly reached for an icy blue potion in his pouch, wispy and airy as he uncorked it and immediately put it to his lips. His grip loosened as the plant tried to shake him out, before the head of the seat tore off, the alchemist plummeting below. Vines immediately attacked and juggled the teen as he waited for the perfect moment, a flurry of vines around him before he sharply exhales his misty brew, a ray of frosting stopping the vines in their tracks. he quickly grabbed one, the cold sending shivers down his spine as he wrapped a leg around it, feeling the drop in temperature through even his pants as he slid down, McNinja already dissecting his own problematic mess of vines that threatened him.
The alchemist ran in a full sprint, taking another inhale of his aggressive coolant before spitting a bit of it here and there, working with the ninja in order to dwindle the number of vines. Once out of breath, they both looked up at the roaring plant, as they noticed that their work was being nullified, the chopped, leafy nubs of the plant growing back alarmingly quickly.
"Doc! Look for the roots! Everything else will just grow back!" The alchemist tossed the mixture out towards the base of the plant, freezing the defensive vines that protected the bright purple roots below. The flowery head roared once more before joining the defenses, its razor teeth a grinder as it tried to suck the two into its mouth.
RE: Green with Guilt - Dr. McNinja - 03-10-2016
The spiny vines continued to digest their van as Doc chopped off the tendrils in a vain effort to save their vehicle. His charge the alchemist was emitting some sort of blue-white fog, which froze various branches of the monster plant. The van was now shredded into strips of rusty metal and ribbons of old leather flailed in the air.
“We’re gonna need a bigger van,” Doc muttered.
“Doc!” Finn yelled, frosty steam drifting from his nostrils, “Look for the roots! Everything else will just grow back!”
“Okay, just because I don’t have a degree in agriculture doesn’t mean I don’t know how plants work!” Doc hollered, spinning and hacking through seemingly endless vines.
He reached into his coat pocket and flung three pairs of stars, all slicing through several vines. Doc tried to clear through some more of the spiky foliage and threw showers of shuriken. The vines rapidly grew back and reached for Doc, entangling him and keeping him away from the center. The alchemist was doing his best to clear the vines, but the vines were growing back faster than he could shrivel them. Thankfully, the vines Finn froze were growing back slowly enough that Doc could get through with his agility.
“Alright, let’s wrap it up!” Doc hollered.
He flung his grappling hook at the roots and pulled as hard as he can, flying towards them, crying, “Yoink!”
Doc was now at the source of the vines. The core of the plant was a grassy sphere with a black mark that seemed to whiz around -
“Gross,” McNinja whimpered, “It’s a hairy eyeball.”
“Kill it!”
“Don’t worry,” Doc chuckled, “I’m an opthithl - ophtumlflu - ophti -”
Another tendril tried to yank off his mask. Furiously, he clenched at the branch and tore it off with his bare hands. “I’m trying to pronounce a weird word here okay would you give me a singular-”
A vine whipped out and latched onto his head.
“THIS IS NOT HELPING” Doc shouted.
He whirled around, spinning his katana, dropping towards the core once again. He landed, aiming his blade directly into the eyeball. Another tendril caught his ankle.
“Stop with the flapping tentacles!”
He managed to push aside some of the tentacles, clearing a path to the core, to the expense of usage of his limbs. The plant seemed almost to taunt Doc as it wrapped around his arms and legs, restricting his movement.
“You think I’m helpless now, don’t you?” Doc laughed, “Well, guess what?”
He glared.
“I can shoot poison out of my eyes.”
Greenish liquid shot from Doc’s irises into the plant’s. Massive leaves, as if they were eyelids, wrapped around the core, and the plant made a shrieking noise that could only be described as a scream. The vines immediately released Dr. McNinja and Finn and dropped them onto the mossy ground.
“Is it dead?” Finn sputtered, coughing the last fumes of his cold potion.
“Uh, not sure,” Doc muttered, wiping the acidic residue from his eyes, “but it’s definitely doing so awesome. That poison is strong enough to practically kill a dude.”
“And giant tentacle plant monsters?”
“Let’s see.”
The plant writhed about for a few seconds, until finally, the tentacles seemed to relax and went back to trying to strangle the pair.
“Okay, well, I shot it into an eye thing, so I’m sure it can’t really see us.”
The plant whipped out a vine in random locations, smashing down the nearby trees. While the plant clearly couldn’t aim anywhere, it was frankly wrecking the area.
“Let’s run anyway.”
“Sounds good.”
Doc and Finn sprinted away, leaving the giant plant to writhe away.
RE: Green with Guilt - Demetri Malius - 03-14-2016
The two guild members sprinted away from the green vines of death until they could no longer see the flailing of the tentacle-like vines. They coughed and heaved( though it was mostly Finneas out of breath) as they recovered, looking around to make sure that they were safe.
"Like I said...," Finn managed to mutter between breaths. "...it can be dangerous."
The ninja rolled his eyes. "Yeah I don't need to run a diagnosis to be able to make that assumption. Plant made that pretty clear."
The alchemist nodded and motioned forwards. "Let's start heading out again then, luckily the ruins aren't too far off, so it won't be much of a hike."
The wandered through the dense trees off the dirt road as Finn pulled out a map and began to follow it, glancing around every so often and pointing to the piece of paper to trace the trail and stay on track. After a few miles of nothing but green gave way to a large building, tan in color and lines of red around it, a torch on either side of the entrance, beckoning any adventurers that happened to come across it. Moss and vines grew around the steps but didn't go further than a few feet inside. As they walked in they were met with intense heat, Finn pulling out a few vials as he remembered something.
"Ah, almost forgot. Take on of these, should keep you cool, I brought plenty of water but I want it to last, and we don't want to risk dehydration."
The doc nodded. This guy had all sorts of magic prepared for this trip.
They proceeded through the front entrance, making not of the already scattered skeletons across the floor and leaning on the walls.
"Most of them died from the poison from the trap ahead. I managed to disarm it, so we wont have to worry, but it nearly took my life as well. I can only imagine what else lies ahead."
They moved forward to where numerous darts were pinned to the floor, an opening above being their source. The alchemist the climbed up and grabbed a few of the darts in its reserve, though hundreds were already prepared. "Taking some for research, last time I was here my bad was completely full." The doc nodded and continued further, feeling the heat against his skin.
"So what are these Phoenix eggs good for? Fire magic or something?"
"Well, not really magic, again, but there are rumors of its healing properties and ability to give control over heat, so I guess yeah, you can call it that. Fire magic."
The doc discreetly pulled his fist in a silent victory. He knew it was magic!
The two continued down as they came upon an open room, though holes were scattered across it. It didnt seem to safe, and about 30 feet below the holes was a pool of lava.
"Well... watch your step, and check for traps."
RE: Green with Guilt - Dr. McNinja - 03-24-2016
[spoiler]Sorry, we’re going into tech week for my school play now. I’ll do my best keeping up.[/spoiler]
“Traps?” Doc quipped, “Ya think?”
A layer of thin rock separated them from the molten rock, and swayed in the nearly unbearable heat. The stone was probably bound to break under the slightest bit of pressure. Finna started pacing on the safe, more solid rock of the room, presumably trying to figure out how to get past the pit of scalding death. Doc, luckily, already had a solution.
“I have a grappling hook,” McNinja said, “It’s good to swing on, and the roof looks more or less stable. Better than trying to risk walking through.”
“How will you get across?”
“I’m a ninja,” Doc smiled. He said nothing else, and Finn sighed.
“Nah, I’m kidding. You’d obviously toss the rope across again.”
Finn shrugged. “Sounds plausible. Very well.”
Dr. McNinja pulled the rope from his inside coat pocket and started swinging the hook in a circle. In one swift movement, he tossed the hook at the ceiling, where it clenched and seemed to almost dig into the solid rock. Dr. McNinja pulled it taut, to make sure it was stable, then offered the rope to Finn. The alchemist was about to take it when Doc suddenly snatched it away.
“You’re not going to Indiana Jones me, are you?” Doc grumbled.
“Pardon?”
“Oh, uh,” Doc stuttered, “It’s a movie. Where I’m from. At one point, the main character lends his tour guide a whip to swing across.”
Finn raised an eyebrow. “That’s preposterous, you can’t swing across a gap on something like a-”
“Seriously?” Doc whined. “It’s Indy. It doesn’t matter. It looks cooool.”
Finn bit his lip subtly, silently realizing that his very powerful Prime companion was far more childish and incompetent than he might have assumed.
“Anyways,” Dr. McNinja said, “You better throw this rope back when you’re across, is my point.”
“Oh, of course,” Finn warily replied.
McNinja glared at Finn.
“Those are rather incriminating words, aren’t they?”
“A tad.”
“Let’s get moving, shall we?”
Doc handed Finn the rope. Finn was surprisingly calm as he sprinted towards the edge, jumped and swung above the paper-thin stone floor. He stomped onto both feet at the end of the swing, presumably to see if the floor on the other side was also firm. Having confirmed it, he turned around to signal Doc.
“Alright, now, just throw it back!” McNinja called out.
Finn threw the rope forward, and it made its steady swing towards Doc-
KKRRMM
The ceiling crumbled and the rope fell harmlessly and uselessly onto the stone. The hook, by some miracle only made a small crack in the layer. Doc facepalmed.
Finn called out, “While the situation is pretty incriminating, I assure you that was an accident.”
“Yeah, yeah, I saw,” Doc muttered, “I’ll be right there.”
He stooped down, and very carefully started crawling across the floor on his fingertips, using ninja instincts to avoid the very thin parts. Unfortunately, he couldn’t detect for sure where the weakest spots were, but his experience told him enough that the more you could see through it, the more likely it would break under his weight. As if he was a spider, he spindled across the floor, and paused when he was close to his rope. Tenderly, he reached out and-
KRACK
Doc screamed in frustration, “BUT I’M A NINJAAAAA”
Finn rushed forward to the edge to see where Doc had gone, despite the answer being fairly obvious.
“Doctor?” Finn shouted, “Doctor McNinja?”
No answer. Nowhere to be seen. Only the sound of shattering shards rock plummeting into lava.
Then suddenly, Finn heard a sound, best described as “Whump!”
“Ow,” squeaked a voice.
Finn sought the source of the noise, and found Doc, barely hanging onto the side of the newly created cliff, wheezing and squeezing his eyes shut.
“Are you okay?”
“Oh yeah, just fine,” Doc mumbled, “That was a lot of fun. Can we do that again?”
After a few minutes of climbing, Doc, panting managed to pull himself onto the edge.
“Okay, it’s not like this is a timed challenge or anything, right?” Doc wheezed, “We can just... hang out here... For a bit?”
“I wouldn’t recommend it,” Finn said, “But I’m sorry to hear you are injured.”
“Oh, not injured,” Doc mumbled, “Just thirsty. Should have brought a Gatorade or something.”
Finn frowned. “How would an alligator’s assistance be helpful at this moment?”
Doc scowled and stood up, brushing the soot from his labcoat in vain. “One of these days,” he declared, “I’ll be traveling with someone from my own century, and then stuff like this won’t happen.”
He cleared his throat and pulled out his stethoscope to hear what was beyond the next door. Finn watched him curiously.
“Does that actually work?” Finn said.
“Not in the least,” Doc muttered back, “But it used to. Damn Omniphysics.”
Dr. McNinja observed the door more carefully. It was some sort of stone slab, about four meters tall, that presumably slid down when it opened. It had an engraving of a small spiral in the top right corner, plenty scratched and dented by various things.
“Perhaps a switch?” Finn said. He was looking at it, too.
“Let’s see,” Doc shrugged. He picked up two of his throwing stars and flung them at the spiral. Both landed on the engraving, causing the spiral to light up.
“It’s like I’m playing Zelda,” Doc chuckled.
“I assume that’s another movie?” Finn responded as the door slid down.
“Seriously,” Doc muttered, “Can’t even talk about Zelda anymore. So many jokes, right out the window-”
GGRROOOOOARRRR
Dr. McNinja groaned. “Oh, what is it now?”
RE: Green with Guilt - Dr. McNinja - 04-07-2016
[spoiler]I'm really sleepy, so I'm sorry if this is a weird post. I'm very busy, and it looked Demmy wasn't going to post, so I went ahead and wrapped it up. I hope that's okay. [/spoiler]
The wall split in half and the stone engravings crumbled at the sound of the roar. It resonated throughout the whole tomb and shook the core of Doc’s bones.
“Oh, look,” Doc grumbled, “Final boss.”
“Yes, I believe that will be the mother phoenix.”
Dr. McNinja glanced at Finn.
“Hold up, did you say mother phoenix?”
The walls finally stopped crumbling, revealing a red glowing heat which almost blew the pair back. Doc drew his sword.
GROOOARRR
“That’s a phoenix,” Finn explained.
“I guessed as much,” McNinja squeaked, “Though it’s a bit bigger than I imagined.”
The bird was about three times his height, and seemed to consist entirely out of flames. It might as well have been a dragon, if the dragon was not material in any sense, but instead a raging creature made of combustion itself. The rocks around it seemed to sweat in the sheer heat of it, but Doc might have been projecting.
“Isn’t it bad to kill an endangered creature like this?” Doc hissed, “I’m not sure how comfortable with this I am anymore.”
“Phoenixes are immortal, doctor.”
“Oh. Right,” Doc rolled his neck and sighed. “Let’s get to work.”
Finn drank another potion, the effects of which eluded Doc at the time. Dr. McNinja would be too busy to see, however, since he was already hopping from one end to the other on the rough craggy walls of the dome in which the phoenix resided. The phoenix flapped its “wings”, which spread scorching flames where Doc was standing moments before, which seemed to reach for Doc’s legs before they sputtered out. The phoenix really was just a sentient fire.
Well, how do you kill a fire?
Finn seemed to already have thought this out. He chanted something, and his veins started flashing a blue-green light under his skin. His eyes lit up the same color, then Finn abruptly started screaming. Eventually, the screams seemed to be drowned out by another gurgling noise.
“Are you a fireman?” Doc shouted. “Is that a thing you do?”
His answer was a giant stream of water that substantially doused the phoenix. This clearly agitated the bird. The phoenix roared again and seemed to prepare to strike at the alchemist. Doc sighed.
“Oy, you combustible chicken!” Doc hollered. “Why’d you cross the road?”
He threw one of his flashbangs at what seemed to be the phoenix’s head. Clearly, it was still a living creature somehow, because it reacted to the flashbang. However, the effects of the grenade only lasted one second on the freakish fire bird. It certainly got its attention. Doc, swinging about like a volcanic Tarzan on his grappling hook, used Lucky Seven to throw a barrage of ninja stars, but to no avail.
“Ooooof course,” Doc grumbled. “What was I honestly thinking?”
The phoenix, clearly frustrated by what was happening, raised both its wings and slammed them into the ceiling. The impact started a tremor, causing what was looking like a cave-in.
“Errr okay I think we’re done here.”
Finn seemed to be running out of water in his lungs, and was now just coughing out the residue, as if he had just been drowning moments before. Doc swung down to grab Finn and dropped him off by the entrance to the room.
“But Doctor-”
“You stay here, buddy,” McNinja snapped. “Doctor’s orders.”
“It’s too dangerous-”
“I’m a ninja, Finn.”
“That doesn’t ensure your survival-”
“Ah ah ah, see, that’s where you’re all wrong,” Doc chuckled. He prepped himself to launch back into the fray.
“I’m also a doctor.”
He jumped forward, latching his grappling hook onto the ceiling again to swing in a circle around the titanic burning parrot, dodging random fireballs that Doc felt the phoenix really should have started using earlier in the battle before this last-ditch effort to cave-in the intruders.
When Doc landed on the far wall, he scanned the phoenix and the room for any other sources of water before the room caved in for good. That’s when he felt it.
The room really was sweating.
Not like that, no, that’d be gross. But there was definitely moisture very shallow into the rock. There was a good chance that the phoenix, for some stupid reason, camped out under a river or something.
“Stupid bird,” Doc bantered, pulling chainsaw nunchuks from his coat. The bird squawked at the awesomeness of such a weapon. Dr. McNinja used the momentary distraction to fling the nunchuks as hard as he can at the wall. These were real chainsaws after all, and in McNinja’s world, everything mechanical exploded upon destruction. So…
BOOOM
Water started seeping very very slowly into the room, as if the room was peeing its pants. Dr. McNinja glanced at the phoenix, who was just as bewildered by the events. Doc smiled.
“We cool, right?”
The phoenix roared one last time, forcing Doc to dodge again. He swung many times around the room.
Outside, Finn was getting worried. The cave was now really collapsing, and rocks were falling around their ears -
A white and black blur swept Finn off his feet as Doc grappled out of the temple real quick-like.
***
“What a waste of a mission,” Finn grumbled.
“Eh, I thought it went well.”
“We have no vehicle with which we might return to Ambrosia. Our objective is now covered in several metric tons of rock and fire. And I’ve used some of my more potent and… difficult potions. Such a rare ingredient…”
Dr. McNinja pulled out the phoenix egg from his pocket. Finn blinked.
“But… Doctor, how-”
“Not just any Doctor,” Doc said triumphantly, “Doctor McNinja.”
The sun was starting to set, and the trek back to the city was long. The new friends started marching back, engaged in life-changing existential conversations.
“Hey.”
“Yes, doctor?”
“Wanna hold the fiery death egg?”
“I’m quite alright.”
“Suit yourself.”