Green with Guilt

[Dr. McNinja]

[spoiler]Sorry, we’re going into tech week for my school play now. I’ll do my best keeping up.[/spoiler]

“Traps?” Doc quipped, “Ya think?”

A layer of thin rock separated them from the molten rock, and swayed in the nearly unbearable heat. The stone was probably bound to break under the slightest bit of pressure. Finna started pacing on the safe, more solid rock of the room, presumably trying to figure out how to get past the pit of scalding death. Doc, luckily, already had a solution.

“I have a grappling hook,” McNinja said, “It’s good to swing on, and the roof looks more or less stable. Better than trying to risk walking through.”

“How will you get across?”

“I’m a ninja,” Doc smiled. He said nothing else, and Finn sighed.

“Nah, I’m kidding. You’d obviously toss the rope across again.”

Finn shrugged. “Sounds plausible. Very well.”

Dr. McNinja pulled the rope from his inside coat pocket and started swinging the hook in a circle. In one swift movement, he tossed the hook at the ceiling, where it clenched and seemed to almost dig into the solid rock. Dr. McNinja pulled it taut, to make sure it was stable, then offered the rope to Finn. The alchemist was about to take it when Doc suddenly snatched it away.

“You’re not going to Indiana Jones me, are you?” Doc grumbled.

“Pardon?”

“Oh, uh,” Doc stuttered, “It’s a movie. Where I’m from. At one point, the main character lends his tour guide a whip to swing across.”

Finn raised an eyebrow. “That’s preposterous, you can’t swing across a gap on something like a-”

“Seriously?” Doc whined. “It’s Indy. It doesn’t matter. It looks cooool.”

Finn bit his lip subtly, silently realizing that his very powerful Prime companion was far more childish and incompetent than he might have assumed.

“Anyways,” Dr. McNinja said, “You better throw this rope back when you’re across, is my point.”

“Oh, of course,” Finn warily replied.

McNinja glared at Finn.

“Those are rather incriminating words, aren’t they?”

“A tad.”

“Let’s get moving, shall we?”

Doc handed Finn the rope. Finn was surprisingly calm as he sprinted towards the edge, jumped and swung above the paper-thin stone floor. He stomped onto both feet at the end of the swing, presumably to see if the floor on the other side was also firm. Having confirmed it, he turned around to signal Doc.

“Alright, now, just throw it back!” McNinja called out.

Finn threw the rope forward, and it made its steady swing towards Doc-

KKRRMM

The ceiling crumbled and the rope fell harmlessly and uselessly onto the stone. The hook, by some miracle only made a small crack in the layer. Doc facepalmed.

Finn called out, “While the situation is pretty incriminating, I assure you that was an accident.”

“Yeah, yeah, I saw,” Doc muttered, “I’ll be right there.”

He stooped down, and very carefully started crawling across the floor on his fingertips, using ninja instincts to avoid the very thin parts. Unfortunately, he couldn’t detect for sure where the weakest spots were, but his experience told him enough that the more you could see through it, the more likely it would break under his weight. As if he was a spider, he spindled across the floor, and paused when he was close to his rope. Tenderly, he reached out and-

KRACK

Doc screamed in frustration, “BUT I’M A NINJAAAAA”

Finn rushed forward to the edge to see where Doc had gone, despite the answer being fairly obvious.

“Doctor?” Finn shouted, “Doctor McNinja?”

No answer. Nowhere to be seen. Only the sound of shattering shards rock plummeting into lava.

Then suddenly, Finn heard a sound, best described as “Whump!”

“Ow,” squeaked a voice.

Finn sought the source of the noise, and found Doc, barely hanging onto the side of the newly created cliff, wheezing and squeezing his eyes shut.

“Are you okay?”

“Oh yeah, just fine,” Doc mumbled, “That was a lot of fun. Can we do that again?”

After a few minutes of climbing, Doc, panting managed to pull himself onto the edge.

“Okay, it’s not like this is a timed challenge or anything, right?” Doc wheezed, “We can just... hang out here... For a bit?”

“I wouldn’t recommend it,” Finn said, “But I’m sorry to hear you are injured.”

“Oh, not injured,” Doc mumbled, “Just thirsty. Should have brought a Gatorade or something.”

Finn frowned. “How would an alligator’s assistance be helpful at this moment?”

Doc scowled and stood up, brushing the soot from his labcoat in vain. “One of these days,” he declared, “I’ll be traveling with someone from my own century, and then stuff like this won’t happen.”

He cleared his throat and pulled out his stethoscope to hear what was beyond the next door. Finn watched him curiously.

“Does that actually work?” Finn said.

“Not in the least,” Doc muttered back, “But it used to. Damn Omniphysics.”

Dr. McNinja observed the door more carefully. It was some sort of stone slab, about four meters tall, that presumably slid down when it opened. It had an engraving of a small spiral in the top right corner, plenty scratched and dented by various things.

“Perhaps a switch?” Finn said. He was looking at it, too.

“Let’s see,” Doc shrugged. He picked up two of his throwing stars and flung them at the spiral. Both landed on the engraving, causing the spiral to light up.

“It’s like I’m playing Zelda,” Doc chuckled.

“I assume that’s another movie?” Finn responded as the door slid down.

“Seriously,” Doc muttered, “Can’t even talk about Zelda anymore. So many jokes, right out the window-”

GGRROOOOOARRRR

Dr. McNinja groaned. “Oh, what is it now?”