Tell Me Agnès

[Guu]

Dear Agnès,

I didn’t mean that literally. It’s a figure of speech.

I meant two employees under me are currently dating each other and maybe sexually involved with one another. I fear the romance between co-workers might effect us on a professional level. What is your advice?

Sincerely, Concerned Professional

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Dear Agnès,

Apparently, I was destined to be a chef, but my mom and so many other authority figures want me to be a soldier. I’ve joined up on their request and I’ve been in the forces long enough to gain the rank of Private First Class, and while I do love my platoon, I just feel more at home when I’m cooking.

I could just leave the military and follow my passions, but everyone would see me as a deserter. I’d be an outcast in my own community… What could someone like me do?

Sincerely, a Sad Onion

——

Dear Agnès,

Help me! I’m being hunted by a giant rock lobster! I’m in a Vasty! Come save me!

Please help! Distressed Individual.