Let's Read Book Club #16

[Thaal Sinestro]

Well, not must, but probably should.

Was going to submit my Midnight Rose stuff up for peer reading, just wasn't sure on the practices.

Awesome, awesome work! I had a blast reading this, and you really pulled me in to the story. What I liked the most: DETAILS. You have the character little things, subtle things, that brought me into the moment. She didn't just go to the shower, she YAWNED and went to the shower. It sounds stupid when I say it like that, but those little details really being it to life. She took the stairs because the elevator sucked, she had a history with Wrex, she did so many little things that made the world feel lived-in and real.

Your descriptive details were also strong. I felt like I could see what you saw when you wrote it. One thing I would like to see more of, like I said with Vi, I'd abstract details. Give of done weird similes our relate an object, feature or person to something that it EMOTIONALLY relates to. I think that will really help give your already well-defined world a bit of finishing pop.