06-10-2015, 02:10 PM
I can go ahead and get this one in. Hopefully I'll be able to get around to the other four, they're all on my list.
Midnight Rose
Belle, I have told you enough in the chatbox that you ought to know I'm a big fan of your work and have been for a while. This new Belle is no different.
To start off with, let me just compliment you on your absolutely unique interpretation of the Omniverse's character intro. This is stretching back into your Nexus post a bit (I hope you don't mind) but I am wholeheartedly into the idea that Belle is just a normal girl who Omni pulled into the Omniverse. Now, that said, I am definitely hoping to discover why he chose her later on down the line. I know you obviously can't explicitly state the reasoning -- after all, I suppose no one really knows why Omni chose them -- but it would be nice, later on, to get some hints.
(As a side-note to the above, I'm in love with what you said about the chatbox about her thinking she's a secondary and I would enjoy seeing you delve into that in more specific ways, but I am also a fan of how you managed to so deftly just reference it and I was still able to catch on.)
The Omniverse as a rule has a bunch of characters that lend themselves to a sort of cinematic imagery when it comes to their adventures, and I'll admit I was nervous that Belle wouldn't fit in, being so normal. I was absolutely wrong about that. More than perhaps any other character I've read here except maybe Violet, I feel at points like I'm watching a film when I read some of the action you write. I imagine you have very specific "camera shots" in your head, and I could totally be wrong about that, but it really comes to life in a frame-by-frame way that reminds me a lot of a film.
Your best quality as a writer, though, in my opinion, is your flair for description. Never in the entire thread did I wonder what anything looked like. This is my favorite example, that particularly stuck out to me:
I can just see it. On the same plane, though, my one criticism also stems from this. Every detail matters, it's true, and you haven't crossed over into the line of too much detail quite yet, but occasionally I get taken out of the story when I'm wondering why you spend time on certain things. The example that sticks out to me is in your Nexus post, when you methodically list off each piece of clothing she wears. It helps me to more evenly match up my vision of Belle with yours, but the payoff just isn't quite there.
That said, even in one post the story is already rather neat. I can't quite see where it's going, but the two posts you've posted have gotten me into Belle as a character enough that I'm willing to stick around for the long haul and see where all this ends up. I can't wait to read the next post in Midnight Rose.
Midnight Rose
Belle, I have told you enough in the chatbox that you ought to know I'm a big fan of your work and have been for a while. This new Belle is no different.
To start off with, let me just compliment you on your absolutely unique interpretation of the Omniverse's character intro. This is stretching back into your Nexus post a bit (I hope you don't mind) but I am wholeheartedly into the idea that Belle is just a normal girl who Omni pulled into the Omniverse. Now, that said, I am definitely hoping to discover why he chose her later on down the line. I know you obviously can't explicitly state the reasoning -- after all, I suppose no one really knows why Omni chose them -- but it would be nice, later on, to get some hints.
(As a side-note to the above, I'm in love with what you said about the chatbox about her thinking she's a secondary and I would enjoy seeing you delve into that in more specific ways, but I am also a fan of how you managed to so deftly just reference it and I was still able to catch on.)
The Omniverse as a rule has a bunch of characters that lend themselves to a sort of cinematic imagery when it comes to their adventures, and I'll admit I was nervous that Belle wouldn't fit in, being so normal. I was absolutely wrong about that. More than perhaps any other character I've read here except maybe Violet, I feel at points like I'm watching a film when I read some of the action you write. I imagine you have very specific "camera shots" in your head, and I could totally be wrong about that, but it really comes to life in a frame-by-frame way that reminds me a lot of a film.
Your best quality as a writer, though, in my opinion, is your flair for description. Never in the entire thread did I wonder what anything looked like. This is my favorite example, that particularly stuck out to me:
Quote:The glowing sign towered above her as she approached, the single red flower in the middle of the 'o' in ROSE burning bright. As gaudy as it was, it was hardly the only one – rows of similar signs illuminated the darkness, stretching in either direction in a rainbow of vibrant colors.
I can just see it. On the same plane, though, my one criticism also stems from this. Every detail matters, it's true, and you haven't crossed over into the line of too much detail quite yet, but occasionally I get taken out of the story when I'm wondering why you spend time on certain things. The example that sticks out to me is in your Nexus post, when you methodically list off each piece of clothing she wears. It helps me to more evenly match up my vision of Belle with yours, but the payoff just isn't quite there.
That said, even in one post the story is already rather neat. I can't quite see where it's going, but the two posts you've posted have gotten me into Belle as a character enough that I'm willing to stick around for the long haul and see where all this ends up. I can't wait to read the next post in Midnight Rose.
![[Image: 2agonyw.png]](http://i68.tinypic.com/2agonyw.png)