OmniTwitter: Posts from Primes

[Gildarts]

Posted by secondary guards of Impel Down and The Storm Troopers that captured Gildarts

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Just another normal day underwater. Man I wish I had taken that intern job in Camelot #floatingislands #hotwitches


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The pay ain’t great and I have to look at these ugly faces all day but when it all comes down to it, I got food on the table. #thankomniday


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Got a few new prisoners in today, man they are lucky the Admiral isn’t here to beat em’ in a greeting. But Sir Siege does a good job at that for him. #almostdeath


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@Behemoth’s at it again. That idiot -.- #nochance #failseverytime


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I wonder if Omni would ever give a secondary immortality, after all that Karl guy got pretty lucky and hit the jackpot. Maybe he would hire me if I applied? #experience #paradise #islandhotties

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The tiers below are a lot more dangerous than they seem, I lucked out and they gave me an easy job in comparison as to what is faced below. #tierone #security #hangout #passthepopcorn


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Anyone want some popcorn? #lonelyinthecavesofthedeep


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So I’m reading the new guy’s records. They have to be fabricated, this one says that one guy blew up a volcano? Nah, not real. One of those old Pirate Tales. Not even the Empire’s state-of-the-art cannons can do that. #callingyourlies


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These people are all wimps. My MOTHER could beat them with her pinkie toe! #beast #lovememother #shesapiratebutdonttelltheadmiral


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Truth is... One of the prisoners is dating my sister #shock #shame #noragrets


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I may or may not be drukn on duyt #brag #imepldown


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@BEHEMOTH THAT BASTARD!! Not again! #facepalm #youidiot #you’vedoneitthistime

The same trio of stormtroopers visiting martha’s shop in Costa Del Sol

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Stormtrooper Gray: Leader
@Martha’s shop who wants to have a tea party? #sadisticgrin


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Stormtrooper Gray: Leader
okay now we’ve searched all over the place, where is she? That Prime isn’t here to protect her so she is ours!#claimed #empireproperty #mine


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Stormtrooper Gray: Leader
What’s this? There’s a red bike here? Huh.. A basket... Paperboy? #clues #sherlockholmes #detective


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Stormtrooper Orange
OUCH! That had to hurt! Imagine a broom in that nook! Jeez this kid knows his stuff #Kidsnowadays #goodol’days #youthwastedontheyoung


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Stormtrooper Orange
Don’t worry boss @Stormtrooper Gray: Leader we won’t tell HQ you got beat up by a ten year old #ha


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Stormtrooper Gray: Leader
@Stormtrooper Orange you /just/ did #facepalm #shame #I’ll loose my rank for this


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Stormtrooper Orange
@Stormtrooper Gray: Leader Naw boss, we’ll tell em’ it was that same Prime, ya know, the one that bribed you


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Stormtrooper Gray: Leader
@Stormtrooper Orange Don’t you remember we put him behind bars? #bravecitizens


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Stormtrooper Gray: Leader
@Stormtrooper Orange I’m going to kill you. When you least expect it. #enraged #assassin


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Stormtrooper Orange
@Stormtrooper Gray: Leader OH Yeah boss! He didn’t put up much of a fight, you sure it was the same dude? #badassesneverdie

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Stormtrooper Gray: Leader
@Stormtrooper Orange What? Of course it was the same dude, I never forget a face, especially when I have clones with the same face. My observation skills are as keen as they come #Watson!


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Stormtrooper Orange
@Stormtrooper Grey: Leader Oh sure they are boss, just like when they observed that broom to the ... Well.. no need to scar the kiddies minds who are reading this.


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Stormtrooper Orange
@Stormtrooper Gray Its not good to put your assassination plots on the Dataverse. #andyoucallmeanidiot


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Stormtrooper Gray
@Stormtrooper Orange Hey wait a minute, you underestimating my leadership skills? I’m the best that’s why we caught him! #empiresfinest


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Stormtrooper Orange
@Stormtrooper Gray Who me? No.. never... #sarcasm #freedomofCENSORED


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Stormtrooper Orange: Leader
Wonder what that Prime is up to now? He DID get put in the worst prison in history. #ImpelDown #shouldn’tmesswithDeepTroopers #empirestrikes #dominance #Imthenewbossnow

Meanwhile at Impel Down...

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UGH! Won’t they turn off the alarm clock sirens already? I already ahve the worst hangover ever #thankomniforcoffee #kelpdoesn’thelp #thiskindofpain


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OH, so @Behemoth didn’t make the alarm go off this time, It was that other guy(lyingvolcanodude) or perhaps a rupture from outside. There are some aquatic threats down here. Hopefully the Admiral doesn’t find out about this... #kraken #davyjoneslocker


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Warden Siege
OW. Ever since the fresh meat came in my hand has been killing me! #typingwithonehand #opposablethumbs #stupidprisoners #icanstilltaserpeoplewithonehand


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Warden Siege
OHSH*T We’ve sprung a leak! No prisoners escaped and it was a Tier one breach so we fixed it in record time #Saved #myjob #admiralwon’tcome

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Warden Siege
Whew! There were no casualties in the break, thank goodness. That way I can beat the life out of them. Not sure how the two prisoners stayed submerged in the water for ten minutes until we retrieved them with scuba troopers. They must’ve held their breath #nomasksthough #callsherlock


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Warden Siege
Hazing reminds me of my ol’ sorority days... #collegelyfe #alltheboysintheyard


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Warden Siege
I get the best food down here, but it always takes the pizza man WAY longer than 30 min. to deliver #omniwhyyounosummon #secondarycitizens #problems #drama #coldpizzaisevil #notipbecauseI’Mevil


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WHAT THE HELL! The alarms are at it again! Stupid technology #malfunctions #empiresfinest


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Warden Siege
YOU IDIOTS! The Admiral will have my head for this #thethreefearsofawarden #death #banishment #shame