07-21-2018, 12:24 PM
First, yeeeaaaahhhhh boooooiiii. I love Kuzuru’s work and think he is vastly underhyped, so I was extremely happy to see one of his making bookclub! Let’s get right into it!
Maybe it's the love for Pulp Fiction within me, but I love dinner scenes. I feel like this dialogue is intriguing, in the way a Terrtino movie would be, so this was not lost on me, and I quite enjoyed it. Also, Charlie’s an asshole and you do a great way of showing us that, rather than telling us. Kudos.
F-Zero Series, risking it all on a bet to change their stars, and odd couple bickering are some nice ingredients for whatever your brewing up. I dig it so far.
Oh snap, they won! This may not bold well for Kuzuru. I like how you have created suspense here, cause now we’re all wondering how this is going to play out. Excellent storytelling technique!
Dayum, punk kids for the plot twist! You even foreshadowed this at the teller booth! Now we got new conflict to resolve, this is top notch. Loving it!
I'll give more C&C on this, but I wanted to submit what I already had 182 words. Great read! I recommend it for the best bonus!
Maybe it's the love for Pulp Fiction within me, but I love dinner scenes. I feel like this dialogue is intriguing, in the way a Terrtino movie would be, so this was not lost on me, and I quite enjoyed it. Also, Charlie’s an asshole and you do a great way of showing us that, rather than telling us. Kudos.
F-Zero Series, risking it all on a bet to change their stars, and odd couple bickering are some nice ingredients for whatever your brewing up. I dig it so far.
Oh snap, they won! This may not bold well for Kuzuru. I like how you have created suspense here, cause now we’re all wondering how this is going to play out. Excellent storytelling technique!
Dayum, punk kids for the plot twist! You even foreshadowed this at the teller booth! Now we got new conflict to resolve, this is top notch. Loving it!
I'll give more C&C on this, but I wanted to submit what I already had 182 words. Great read! I recommend it for the best bonus!
Dante's Abyss 2015
GRAND CHAMPION
![[Image: Sasuke_DA_zpsb4vizgxd.png]](http://www.cytokineindustries.com/chevereto/images/2018/02/07/Sasuke_DA_zpsb4vizgxd.png)
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