07-08-2018, 04:34 PM
I decide to take a break from judging, and THIS is what I do.
Unf, dat aesthetic. If I recall, this is the thread that got me interested in you as a writer to begin with. From the first post you set up this gritty, tarantino-style omniverse-punk aesthetic. You are not forcing the omniverse around your characters, you are thoroughly embracing the setting and using it to drive the plot and style. Having the tough realistic headhunters get jumped by kids with ‘stinky gas’ was a nice touch.
ALL the character’s were amazing. Good characters don’t need pages of exposition to explain them, you get to know them as you go. Mal and Charlie, experienced professionals that get into trouble because of their own thuggish tendencies. Sam and her siblings, the cocky underworld theives. Ameara, the middle-aged crime boss. All these characters draw us in from the moment we see them until their last line. These characters ARE the plot.
Speaking of the plot; wow. It is CHARACTER DRIVEN, by the choices of the characters. It is not ‘oh jeez the king is knocking on the door’ it’s driven by things like charlie placing the bet or choosing not to be carefull with his money. The twist where Ameara knew charles was dope. There’s something so very cool to me about realism in a world run by stormtroopers and pokemon, and things like a botched kidnapping transaction and thugs using their bosses money for gambling, these are natural and realistic consequences that drive a story like this. An oh yeah, the final scene with the gun? Being all foreshadowed? Over the top awesome, I literally loved it. The epilogue was likewise perfect.
Overall, you did something special here. You told a short story. The characters were engaging, the plot was addicting, and it was all wrapped around this perfect aesthetic that made everything so very fun to read. I would give such a thread top marks, as it exactly what a one-off npc thread should be.
Unf, dat aesthetic. If I recall, this is the thread that got me interested in you as a writer to begin with. From the first post you set up this gritty, tarantino-style omniverse-punk aesthetic. You are not forcing the omniverse around your characters, you are thoroughly embracing the setting and using it to drive the plot and style. Having the tough realistic headhunters get jumped by kids with ‘stinky gas’ was a nice touch.
ALL the character’s were amazing. Good characters don’t need pages of exposition to explain them, you get to know them as you go. Mal and Charlie, experienced professionals that get into trouble because of their own thuggish tendencies. Sam and her siblings, the cocky underworld theives. Ameara, the middle-aged crime boss. All these characters draw us in from the moment we see them until their last line. These characters ARE the plot.
Speaking of the plot; wow. It is CHARACTER DRIVEN, by the choices of the characters. It is not ‘oh jeez the king is knocking on the door’ it’s driven by things like charlie placing the bet or choosing not to be carefull with his money. The twist where Ameara knew charles was dope. There’s something so very cool to me about realism in a world run by stormtroopers and pokemon, and things like a botched kidnapping transaction and thugs using their bosses money for gambling, these are natural and realistic consequences that drive a story like this. An oh yeah, the final scene with the gun? Being all foreshadowed? Over the top awesome, I literally loved it. The epilogue was likewise perfect.
Overall, you did something special here. You told a short story. The characters were engaging, the plot was addicting, and it was all wrapped around this perfect aesthetic that made everything so very fun to read. I would give such a thread top marks, as it exactly what a one-off npc thread should be.
![[Image: V4Dvvfy.gif]](https://i.imgur.com/V4Dvvfy.gif)