Two Koopas, One Wario

[Wario]

King Bowser, his Burning Majesty, the Koopa King, Scourge of the Mushroom Kingdom, had a headache. He was sitting on his throne, a formation of volcanic rock with a purple cushion on the seat. It seemed out of place in throne room, with the dark gray bricks lining his walls and torch sconces made of vicious black steel lining the bricks. A long red felt carpet, somehow kept clean through all the ash, ran from the large doors of the throne room to the throne.

Those large doors slammed open. Wario, who was standing on the other end of the doors, lowered his foot and raised his arms, grinning a wide, toothy smile.

"Bowser!"

The Koopa King looked up, his head still resting in his hand.

"Oh, no," Bowser groaned, "Wario."

"Itsa-me," Wario cackled mockingly, "I like what you've done with the place."

"Right," Bowser said, crossing his arms, "What can I do for you?"

"It's more about what I can do for you," Wario said, still strolling down the throne room, "You know my deal. Always looking for a job, me. Even if the white dude dragged me to this world. Got a Mario for me to take care of?"

"You couldn't handle Mario in Sarasaland and you couldn't handle him now."

"I don't know about that, Bow Bow," Wario said, causing Bowser to flinch, "Remember that party he used to throw? Kicked his ass in a few of those."

"Party games," Bowser scoffed.

"Tennis with fireballs," Wario scoffed back.

Bowser felt another pang in his head and he snarled, "Scouts report that he's disappeared a year ago."

"Damn shame," Wario sighed, noticing his pain, "What about that brother? The green one?"

"Luigi?" Bowser thought, "He actually was doing a little better than that red scum, for once. Took down some Vulcan Drakes. Sent one of my sons after him. They both disappeared."

Wario hesitated. "My bad, Bowser. Didn't know."

Bowser nodded sadly. "I keep hearing rumors of Ludwig here and there. Maybe he's alright, you know? Just wanted to get away from his pop."

Wario nodded. "I can track him down, if you like?"

"No," Bowser said, scowling again, "My kids have come in and out. Maybe they're home now. Doesn't matter."

"Cold son of a bitch," Wario mumbled to himself.

"What does matter is that these damn Apokalips Troopas are converting my Koopas in their cultish efforts to undermine my rule."

"Okay," Wario nods, "How much you gonna pay?"

"Your Burning Majesty!"

Wario turned around and saw a red Koopa shell spinning down the throne room towards Bowser. Right before he reached Wario, the Koopa spun into a kneeling position before Bowser. Bowser rolled his eyes.

"I don't know why they give me all these titles," he said to Wario, his face embarrassed.

"My King Bowser, don’t trust this grotesque bounty hunter!" the Koopa said, not daring to look up, "Trust me with this task, my king. I've already tracked them to their hideout!"

"Where?" Bowser said, leaning forward.

The Red Koopa glared at Wario, lips sealed.

"Where are they, Kandy?" Bowser repeated.

"Kandy?" Wario cackled, "Kandy Koopa? That's your name?"

Kandy ignored Wario and cleared his throat.

"There's an active volcano twenty levels to the east," Kandy said begrudgingly, "Scouts have reported that this is where Apokalips Troopas regroup. We believe there is a network of caves underneath the volcano. Green Koopas aren't suited for the heat of the volcano, but I can lead a squad of Dry Bones down and-"

"You think those things are hiding under a volcano?" Wario said, grinning nonchalantly but his eyes focused.

Kandy glowered at Wario. "Wario, I swear, if you interrupt me one more time-"

Bowser raised a hand, instantly silencing Kandy. Wario glowered.

"Fine, fine," Bowser sighed, "Kandy, take 8 Dry Bones and investigate the volcano. You find something, shoot a flare. Immediately."

Kandy nodded and turned to leave. Bowser cleared his throat and said, "Take Wario with you."

The Red Koopa turned, his face wracked with horror.

"He's been effective in the past. And he's a Prime, sounds like," Bowser explained, "Take him with you."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, I never said I was gonna go."

"Two bags of gold coins."

Wario sneered. "It's not that Omnilium shit."

"Not those coins," Bowser snickered, "You really are new here, aren't you?"

The Koopa King flashed Wario a gold coin (from who-knows-where). After squinting at it, the coin dissolved, releasing a kaleidoscopic energy that spread out wide enough to surround even Wario. The fat man's grin widened, the expression of greed spreading between his teeth.

"Let's go, Kandy Koopa," he chuckled, patting the Red Koopa hard on the shell before waddling back down the throne room. Kandy glared after Wario and followed him.

2342/5000 words.

- Get an assignment from Bowser
- Meet partner/rival
- Find Apokalips Troopa camp
- Wipe out the Apokalips Troopas before rival does
- Profit