06-02-2018, 03:51 PM
Let me start off by saying, what the actual fuck? This was a monster of a thread. This story could have easily be split into four different threads and still get four times phat om bonus. This isn’t a normal thread that you find here by the dozen, this is one of those threads that keeps surprising you.
before i talk about the thread let me just say this. How am i, a mid tier writer, suppose to review and critique a piece of art written by some of the most talented writers on this site? I mean i can’t give these guys grammar or spelling tips, they are the ones that have been teaching me!
And with that, we come to my first point. This thread isn't to make those guys better writers, it's a way to teach us how to become better writers. Except for maybe comedy, it was quite a serious thread. For many of us this thread is a perfect example as a reference for when writing your own posts. The grammar, flow and character building was all of a high level.
The story went from casually drinking a beer towards Brawl #1, Brawl#2, riots, interrogations and some insane character building by seventeen and Trixie.
Again i can't really point out big flaws, because i can't find any. but i can tell you the parts that popped out for me.
First one was All mights card, i loved how it’s design was actually shown in the post.It was a little detail that made the post authentic.
The military vibe both Seventeen and Trixie managed to keep alive before and after the fights was truly amazing. Not only their dynamic contributed but the fact that Seventeen was still new to his role and was working his way through it was well thought out.
Jeff’s portrayal of Cell was great, I had followed his story from DA17 and seeing him being this close to getting his new form excited me. The fight had great dialogue on his end, it was what set the right mood. leave it to Jeff to lift the conversations to a higher standard. The finale….what a heartbreaker...even quoting your previous character before being send off? Fuck you Jeff! I have been missing Smith since he disappeared…..Too early
Seventeen’s story takes leaps in this thread, at first he is reluctant and having some sort of conflict regarding the tasks the empire has in store for him ( Going after All Might seriously bugged him). But at the end of the thread he comes across more comfortable with, as he puts it, community service. With a long ass thread as this one you expect character progression and that's exactly what you get with seventeen.
Trixie, my favorite Femme fatale of the OV and the true imperial (
)of the thread doesn't disappoint. The way the character is written in the scenes she screams dominance and confidence. The military ambiance never leaves the character, it's her strongest point. She never fails to set the right atmosphere. I don't want to spoil it.. but i didn't see the dred scene coming. The struggle she faces due to her diablo deal is always presence, i can't say more than keep it up and please don't leave this story unfinished. anything else i say might spoilt things.
All the cameos and winks towards others….Talk about the avengers...judge dredd appearing..And other pale high end characters .This thread really has everything in it.
Enough ego stroking. For others...please read this if you want to improve your own writing.
before i talk about the thread let me just say this. How am i, a mid tier writer, suppose to review and critique a piece of art written by some of the most talented writers on this site? I mean i can’t give these guys grammar or spelling tips, they are the ones that have been teaching me!
And with that, we come to my first point. This thread isn't to make those guys better writers, it's a way to teach us how to become better writers. Except for maybe comedy, it was quite a serious thread. For many of us this thread is a perfect example as a reference for when writing your own posts. The grammar, flow and character building was all of a high level.
The story went from casually drinking a beer towards Brawl #1, Brawl#2, riots, interrogations and some insane character building by seventeen and Trixie.
Again i can't really point out big flaws, because i can't find any. but i can tell you the parts that popped out for me.
First one was All mights card, i loved how it’s design was actually shown in the post.It was a little detail that made the post authentic.
The military vibe both Seventeen and Trixie managed to keep alive before and after the fights was truly amazing. Not only their dynamic contributed but the fact that Seventeen was still new to his role and was working his way through it was well thought out.
Jeff’s portrayal of Cell was great, I had followed his story from DA17 and seeing him being this close to getting his new form excited me. The fight had great dialogue on his end, it was what set the right mood. leave it to Jeff to lift the conversations to a higher standard. The finale….what a heartbreaker...even quoting your previous character before being send off? Fuck you Jeff! I have been missing Smith since he disappeared…..Too early
Seventeen’s story takes leaps in this thread, at first he is reluctant and having some sort of conflict regarding the tasks the empire has in store for him ( Going after All Might seriously bugged him). But at the end of the thread he comes across more comfortable with, as he puts it, community service. With a long ass thread as this one you expect character progression and that's exactly what you get with seventeen.
Trixie, my favorite Femme fatale of the OV and the true imperial (
)of the thread doesn't disappoint. The way the character is written in the scenes she screams dominance and confidence. The military ambiance never leaves the character, it's her strongest point. She never fails to set the right atmosphere. I don't want to spoil it.. but i didn't see the dred scene coming. The struggle she faces due to her diablo deal is always presence, i can't say more than keep it up and please don't leave this story unfinished. anything else i say might spoilt things.All the cameos and winks towards others….Talk about the avengers...judge dredd appearing..And other pale high end characters
.This thread really has everything in it.Enough ego stroking. For others...please read this if you want to improve your own writing.
![[Image: giphy.gif]](https://media.giphy.com/media/xT0BKIP8jikNrRqjdK/giphy.gif)
You're naive. We're destroyers, not saviors. - Yu Kanda