Omniverse Venting Thread

[Mickey Mouse]

You guys ever feel like you're a marionette, acting out the mannerisms and voices you used to do, but now you're just kind of miming yourself? I don't even feel real like, anguish these days but I do just feel tired. All the time. It's good to not feel anguish and this is probably better. I think it's probably maybe some kind of fallout after I broke up with my ex, because feeling nothing is better than pain, and so maybe numbness is like my brain's survival mechanism. But I do always feel like everything is too much effort and it's just not worth it, and if not for my mother I would definitely kill myself. Sometimes I DO get really low and I DO really want to kill myself, but then I think about my mum's face and I cannot do it. Sometimes I feel like, fuck it, it's my life, but I'm not that callous yet.

I dunno, I go through phases. I don't really enjoy the things I used to, but some nights I'm loving life. I feel a lot more competent than I ever used to be, just, that doesn't make me happy, which is amusing in its own weird way. I've really kicked my ass into gear in the last six months. I also know it's come at the expense of stuff here and I don't know that there's a right answer to that. I don't regret placing life's priorities first, but I also feel kind of sorry that I'm not as active as I used to be.

@homin I feel like any shit I have to say would feel facetious, haha, but I am reading at least. And this sounds facetious but I'm gonna say it anyway, things will get better.

If it means anything at all, the existence of this avenue to create in a world created by and populated by good friends literally is saving my life right now. I love you and this wild thing you’ve created, it’s why I keep coming back even when life steals me away. And that love means it’s important you get better prioritize yourself however you need, and I’m here for it.

THat said, Mother’s Day sucks when you don’t have a mom, y’all.