Omniverse Venting Thread

[Omni]

You guys ever feel like you're a marionette, acting out the mannerisms and voices you used to do, but now you're just kind of miming yourself? I don't even feel real like, anguish these days but I do just feel tired. All the time. It's good to not feel anguish and this is probably better. I think it's probably maybe some kind of fallout after I broke up with my ex, because feeling nothing is better than pain, and so maybe numbness is like my brain's survival mechanism. But I do always feel like everything is too much effort and it's just not worth it, and if not for my mother I would definitely kill myself. Sometimes I DO get really low and I DO really want to kill myself, but then I think about my mum's face and I cannot do it. Sometimes I feel like, fuck it, it's my life, but I'm not that callous yet.

I dunno, I go through phases. I don't really enjoy the things I used to, but some nights I'm loving life. I feel a lot more competent than I ever used to be, just, that doesn't make me happy, which is amusing in its own weird way. I've really kicked my ass into gear in the last six months. I also know it's come at the expense of stuff here and I don't know that there's a right answer to that. I don't regret placing life's priorities first, but I also feel kind of sorry that I'm not as active as I used to be.

@homin I feel like any shit I have to say would feel facetious, haha, but I am reading at least. And this sounds facetious but I'm gonna say it anyway, things will get better.