Okay so this is my first Neo book club review and going over each post with a fine-tooth comb would over scrutinize whatever flaws I found so I'm going to take a moment to highlight the things that I really did enjoy about this thread.
You are both excellent writers and for the most part we're able to describe locations and events in a way that was a vivid and colorful while displaying the true dark nature of the events taking place.
Each post was a good length and realized just enough information to the reader to keep the aura of mystery around and making the reader want more.
The writing styles of both authors complimented each other creating a great depth to each interaction be it with no name NPCs as well as interactions between Kito and the two Ninjas. I would also like to take a moment to point out that both writers did an amazing job portraying their character as human and mortal each time a flaw was displayed it was done so in a believable manner.
I was a fan of the use of a doppelganger or rather pair of doppelgangers as a sort of ending note and the cliffhanger ending made me want to read the continuation.
Onto the things that would recommend taking a look at and possibly improving on.
"The silver-haired Ninja"
The silver haired ninja the silver haired ninja the silver-haired Ninja. I'm not a big fan of the Naruto fan base but I can tell you that there are way more ways to describe kakashi as the silver-haired Ninja
In addition to the overuse of the term silver haired ninja I found several dialogues to have strange wording or at least an awkward flow
There was also a lot of use of Naruto ninja terminology that was confusing namely the use of work like genin and Jonin.
That's said. I do not feel that these are major concerns and they do not take away from the prime examples of good storytelling nor do they lesson the impact of each character's action and I would definitely nominate both writers for an exemplary bonus
You are both excellent writers and for the most part we're able to describe locations and events in a way that was a vivid and colorful while displaying the true dark nature of the events taking place.
Each post was a good length and realized just enough information to the reader to keep the aura of mystery around and making the reader want more.
The writing styles of both authors complimented each other creating a great depth to each interaction be it with no name NPCs as well as interactions between Kito and the two Ninjas. I would also like to take a moment to point out that both writers did an amazing job portraying their character as human and mortal each time a flaw was displayed it was done so in a believable manner.
I was a fan of the use of a doppelganger or rather pair of doppelgangers as a sort of ending note and the cliffhanger ending made me want to read the continuation.
Onto the things that would recommend taking a look at and possibly improving on.
"The silver-haired Ninja"
The silver haired ninja the silver haired ninja the silver-haired Ninja. I'm not a big fan of the Naruto fan base but I can tell you that there are way more ways to describe kakashi as the silver-haired Ninja
In addition to the overuse of the term silver haired ninja I found several dialogues to have strange wording or at least an awkward flow
There was also a lot of use of Naruto ninja terminology that was confusing namely the use of work like genin and Jonin.
That's said. I do not feel that these are major concerns and they do not take away from the prime examples of good storytelling nor do they lesson the impact of each character's action and I would definitely nominate both writers for an exemplary bonus