Green with Guilt

[Dr. McNinja]

Dr. McNinja scowled as he continued to stroll under the tree.

"Seriously, I was supposed to do something. Ugh..."

He swung his hands back and forth, pondering what it was he had forgotten. There was something very, very important... Something that held McNinja's life in the balance... Perhaps a hatred and fear, spawned by an entire community's disgust at the perversions of their values.

"Eh, probably not that important," Doc mumbled.

Dr. McNinja must be a very forgetful man.

"Unless I forgot to feed Yoshi," Doc muttered, "Wait, I didn't forget, did I?"

He was now maybe a twenty-minute walk away from Ambrosia. The thought of returning to his new home was... fine? Chances were, Matilda would immediately send him to another job.

"Dinosaurs probably don't even eat candy. Yeah. Yeah, the Candy People will be fiiiine"

Snap.

"GAH STEALTH" Doc internally screamed. He shot upwards, a ninja bullet with PhDs. He latched onto a branch and used his upward momentum to swing around, catching himself with his feet, then landed on the branch. Thanks to the physics of the Omniverse, Doc was now able to not just hide crazy good, but be literally invisible.

But it seemed kinda redundant for the target. The man was totally oblivious to his surroundings. He seemed to be eyeing something ahead of him very intently. Doc, curious, leaned forward ever so slightly. His (albeit imperfect) invisibility shimmered slightly in response to the movement.

Then he saw the illusion.

Clearly, the traveler was following what he thought was a man. But even with his sense stripped from him, Doc realized that a figure that seemed to shimmer out of nowhere can't be real. Well, then again, this was the Omniverse, where Micky Mouse killed people and Pokemon were terrorists.

He swayed back and forth, adjusting his angle of vision slightly to see if the illusion was fractal or something. It wasn't. It was as if the illusion was quite literally a copy of whoever was conjuring it.

Doc scowled. He couldn't even tell if a simple doppelganger was actually the original anymore. For all he knew, this was the original guy.

But it couldn't have been, given the same exact man, having shimmered back into existence, was now sneaking up behind his stalker.

"And what business," the maybe-maybe-not-doppleganger hissed, "do you have in trying to stalk a thief? Especially when that thief is a prime?"

Doc silently leapt to another branch. Not that silently, apparently. The self-proclaimed thief twitched when he landed on the next branch, but thankfully didn't think too much of it.

"Uh," the stalker spluttered, "I was just- that disguise you had was just so- so- so intriguing and-"

The man calmed down a bit. "I just wanted to know how you did it."

"Alright, Doc," McNinja thought to himself, "I'm pretty sure that's a criminal. So... What would Batman do?"

He gathered his coat around him, as if he was preparing his cape, and practiced his best scowl.

"Take him out," Doc snarled quietly.

This time, the thief really did notice him. He looked straight up and seemed to glare under his mask directly at Doc.

"Relax," McNinja told himself, "He can't see me."

"I can see you!" the thief shouted.

"He can see me," Doc grumbled, "and I am literally the worst ninja ever."

He drew his sword and jumped down onto the ground, his frame warping as he came out of invisibility. He pointed the blade at the thief.

"Alright, you crook," Doc growled, "You may have caught me, but I won't-"

The thief whipped out a small dagger, deflecting Doc's blade. McNinja didn't lose grip of his sword, but he relaxed his arm a bit.

"Okay! No showing off! Let's just talk! That's cool!"

Doc stuck his hand out. "My name is Dr. McNinja. I'm a general physician and I kinda just wanted to say hi. Sorry about the thing I tried to pull. Must've been from all the training with Batman."

He grinned. "What's your name please-don't-kill-me?"