Omniverse Venting Thread

[Aadibah]

I have to go in at 7 tomorrow to persuade to my former co-workers to go eat at the new restaurant I work at. I have less than 50$ to my name and around 1500$ in credit card debt. I have to wash and clean a presentable uniform for the internship fair tomorrow. I have to complete my resume for the internship fair tomorrow. I have an exam on Thursday I need to study for and I still haven't bought the fucking textbook for that class. I'm gonna be working OPENING FUCKING NIGHT at the restaurant I work at, because it's new. I will also be on my own in the dishpit. I haven't worked out in weeks, I barely eat and get shit sleep. I can already see my life going down the drain cause even though I'm a Software Engineering major it seems like literally everyone fucking else is ten steps ahead of me. I'm the eldest brother of three, but I'm still living with my parents like 3 years out of high school, but my second youngest brother is already living on his own, has a gf, has good grades, is taller, more good-looking, and significantly more mature than me, and my youngest brother is the fucking same and is soon to move out as well.
I'm not handsome, witty, or charismatic, I've never dated or even had a "thing" with a girl. I often times feel inferior to everyone around me like a fucking stock background character in a movie. I often feel like I am destined to lose so that somebody else wins. I feel like my purpose in life is to observe and absorb the information presented to me by the world and never experience anything. I fear I will never "win" at life.
I've told my brothers that I think I'm dealing with depression, but they don't fully grasp the concept. Literally every happy moment or success is invaded with negative, toxic emotions and thoughts. They tell me nobody wants to actually hang out with me, nobody actually loves me, nobody actually enjoys my presence, they just deal with me out of societal or familial obligation.
I feel like an obligation to people.