07-23-2017, 08:22 PM
Heyyo! Am I checkin' this'un out too?
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Veritas was not the most patient sort of individual. When he had realized that what had beencreatures dubbed "Darklings" had been invading his base's Verse
he also realized something else. For now building a base was out of the question, because he lacked the power he'd need in order to protect whatever place from intruders, especially hordes of Darklings like the ones that infested the Ashen Steppes. Best if he let heroic types deal with such a problem as they would be more suited to handle it than he was. Even though he was going to allow them to handle the problem presented by the creatures that were made out of the darkness, he knew he'd need more power should something like that this ever happen again.
With the loss of the SPD Blaster and his Dark Magic Blast Ball his skills in ranged combat were... Quite lacking. As a result of this he knew that he'd have to change his tactics if he was to survive here in Coruscant. While part of him hated the Storm Troopers and their authoritarian ways, they did possess access to technology far beyond anything that he currently had access to. Were he any less savvy with the Morphing Grid or less knowledgeable about them, he might have even consider that they were Power Rangers.
Granted none of them wielded melee weapons and each and every one of them wore that same horrible white armor.
The armor itself was an aberration against his eyes. Were he in charge of the Empire the armor would be one of the first things to go.
This was true of both the Spin Sword and the Lightning Disc. It was also true of the other weapons in his arsenal. In the end, they were copies of weapons wielded by individuals who had proven themselves to be heroes. Should the weapons meet the ones they were based off of, the chances of his replicas breaking were higher than he liked actually to consider.
One thing was for absolute certain, (he was absolutely certain of,) decided Veritas as he walked towards the address where the place had said to go.
One way or another, come hell or high water, he was going to get stronger than he was now. Two words came to mind about the state of his abilities and those were the words "barely adequate" because of how outclassed he was by the other Primes he had encountered. Sure they had more experience than him, and more Omnilium, but they also had more techniques and weapons at their disposal as well.
They had more skill because they possessed more that all of them were capable of doing. If ithe were to come to blows against another Prime? Veritas was not sure he could honestly win. Tearing up the slip of paper, he decided he wouldn't go to the address. Power was best obtained if he were to get achieve it on his own, after all. Only then, only if he were was actually to make the power truly his own, could he honestly call it his own.
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Veritas was not the most patient sort of individual. When he had realized that what had beencreatures dubbed "Darklings" had been invading his base's Verse
Quote:Maybe for this part say "The same verse that his base was stationed" and then I would add a part about his base being his artificial home, or whatever significance the base means to him. It is good to important what is on the line.
he also realized something else. For now building a base was out of the question, because he lacked the power he'd need in order to protect whatever place from intruders, especially hordes of Darklings like the ones that infested the Ashen Steppes. Best if he let heroic types deal with such a problem as they would be more suited to handle it than he was. Even though he was going to allow them to handle the problem presented by the creatures that were made out of the darkness, he knew he'd need more power should something like that this ever happen again.
With the loss of the SPD Blaster and his Dark Magic Blast Ball his skills in ranged combat were... Quite lacking. As a result of this he knew that he'd have to change his tactics if he was to survive here in Coruscant. While part of him hated the Storm Troopers and their authoritarian ways, they did possess access to technology far beyond anything that he currently had access to. Were he any less savvy with the Morphing Grid or less knowledgeable about them, he might have even consider that they were Power Rangers.
Quote:This part is a little confusing, replace consider with "mistaken them for"
Granted none of them wielded melee weapons and each and every one of them wore that same horrible white armor.
Quote:Deleted a surplus comma
The armor itself was an aberration against his eyes. Were he in charge of the Empire the armor would be one of the first things to go.
Quote:Why was it an aberration? Add an extra detail or two about bulk or just the reason he thinks they are ugly or unbecoming. Maybe even allude to his own culture.
Quote:Start new paragraph here.Wandering around Tier I, he found a flyer for a research project. The research project said that they had ways to make Prime Volunteers into individuals who were stronger and faster than they were. Looking it over, he considered his options relating to the matter. On the one hand he could ignore the potential chance to get to where he needed to be, because it was connected to the Empire. On the other hand, he did need a way to gain more power for himself in a hurry. After all, it was highly likely that the Real Power Rangers would show up in the Omniverse at some point and he didn't want to deal with that headache personally. Power was something that no matter who used it, it was always needed. Sure he could emulate the power possessed by the various ranger groups, but ultimately it was theirs power. Such was the truth about several of the attacks that he possessed at his disposal.
Quote:"Attacks that he had at his disposal." The other one was a little too wordy, and conciseness is the goal! How to say the most in the least amount of words!
This was true of both the Spin Sword and the Lightning Disc. It was also true of the other weapons in his arsenal. In the end, they were copies of weapons wielded by individuals who had proven themselves to be heroes. Should the weapons meet the ones they were based off of, the chances of his replicas breaking were higher than he liked actually to consider.
One thing was for absolute certain, (he was absolutely certain of,) decided Veritas as he walked towards the address where the place had said to go.
Quote:I was unsure of what the second part of the sentence was describing
One way or another, come hell or high water, he was going to get stronger than he was now. Two words came to mind about the state of his abilities and those were the words "barely adequate" because of how outclassed he was by the other Primes he had encountered. Sure they had more experience than him, and more Omnilium, but they also had more techniques and weapons at their disposal as well.
They had more skill because they possessed more that all of them were capable of doing. If ithe were to come to blows against another Prime? Veritas was not sure he could honestly win. Tearing up the slip of paper, he decided he wouldn't go to the address. Power was best obtained if he were to get achieve it on his own, after all. Only then, only if he were was actually to make the power truly his own, could he honestly call it his own.
Quote:Throughout I made some little tiny edits but it would've been messy to point them all out (it was mainly commas and quick snippets +single words) I did some of the more important ones and pointed out some w/ quotes and cross outs.
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Mark Wrote:"Every story I have told is part of me." -(How I Go) Yellowcard