Princess Hellstab lounges on a filthy couch with the equally filthy Weasel. The eight-year old princess is holding a rubber tourniquet tightly around Weasel's arm as the teenage witch readies a syringe full of green chems.
"I mean, what's to say?" Weasel asks rhetorically as she shoots up. "Dickface is dead, and Scab...Scab got cold...cold feet..." the gangster sighs as the drugs take hold. Princess Hellstab slaps a band aid with a happy face over the vein.
"You're still taking us to soccer practice later, right?" asks Hellstab, poking Weasel's slumped over form with her toe until she hears a grunt of affirmation.
Smiling, Princess Hellstab skips through the broken glass and sleeping bodies that litter the floor of the Westside hideout. She opens a door that should have led to a staircase, but now instead leads to a hallway. Unconcerned, the princess skips down the hallway, occasionally hopping over passed out junkies and sleeping gangsters. She opens the door at the end of the hallway and finds a spiral staircase she has never seen before. The Princess hops on the railing and slides down expertly, reflecting on the nature of reality.
Since Luci had started living with them, the abandoned house in Teir-5 had been slowly warping into a surreal Escher-like labyrinth of hallways and stairs. Doors lead mysterious places, stairways shifting when you aren't watching them. The Hufflepunks, a gang of former Hogwarts alumni, have adjusted easily. The Deathblades however, a gang of young children with an interest in anime, tend to get lost and scared. Princess Hellstab thinks of herself as a very brave warrior indeed, and so she tries not to cry when she gets lost, if nothing else than to set an example.
The princess opens a door at the bottom of the staircase and bumps into Yukki Kazuto.
"Sorry," he murmurs as he tries to push past her. The princess does not move, but glares up at the bounty-hunter.
"Oh, uh, pardon me, your Highness," he mumbles sleepily. The princess does not move, but glares up at the bounty hunter.
Yukki shrugs uncomfortably. "Uh, I'm just-"
"What were you doing?" asks the princess.
"What?" asks Yukki, despite having heard the young girl very well.
"Right now, what were you doing?" she repeats, despite her excellent annunciation.
"What were you doing?" asks Yukki, folding his arms and glaring back her highness. "Do you have a bedtime? Do you go to school? Are you barefoot right now? This house is disgusting, have you ever seen a doctor? Is that a plastic sword? Where are your parents?"
"I don't have parents," replies the princess flatly. "I go to the school of hard knocks, and we take night classes, that means no bedtime. And this sword might be plastic, but it kills orcs dead. Anyways, I'm on my way to a war council, wanna come?"
***
The war council is solemn as they sip fake tea from pink plastic cups. Gathered around Princess Hellstab's Royal War Table are eight representatives from two Westside gangs, and Yukki Kazuto.
At the head of the pink plastic table is Shadow Kill, the ten-year-old President of the Westside Deathblades. To his left is his sister, the elegant Princess Hellstab. They are flanked on either side by the first and second lieutenants of the Westside Deathblades.
At the foot of the table, her patched Hogwarts robe slipping with her eyelids, is Weasel, President of the Westside Hufflepunks. Her lieutenants, a trio of teenage punk rock wizards, struggle not to giggle as they sip the fake tea respectfully.
The topic of conversation is Voga, a Hutt pimp and sex trafficker. Apparently a small time Knife Ear gang have found him in Teir-4, but they don't have the muscle or the authorization for a hit. The issue is, as far as Yuki could see, that this council can't actually give authorization.
"Moss will literally kill me," Weasel reiterates. "Scab and Dick-Face, that's on me. That shit with Qor, that's on Koloth. Batgirl, that's on Shadow Kill. All those though, we got authorization from Luci for, and that's not the same as Moss, and we all know it. This is different. If we authorize this, behind everyone's back, Moss will call bullshit, and he's right. This needs council approval, and we won't get it from Moss, or the Ewoks, or the Klingons."
Shadow Kill confers quietly with Princess Hellstab. Weasel catches Yukki's eye and licks her lips grossly.
"Luci gave us a job," says President Shadow Kill in his young but confident voice. "That's all the approval I need."
The two gang leaders lock eyes from across the table. After a long while, Weasel lights a cigarette. She smokes in silence for a longer while.
"Moss will literally kill me," Weasel repeats. "I'm sorry. But I didn't sign up for the President Perky Tits Armed Forces."
The Deathblades lean in to whisper among themselves again.
Finally Princess Hellstab asks the table at large, "What if we send the Reaper?"
"I mean, what's to say?" Weasel asks rhetorically as she shoots up. "Dickface is dead, and Scab...Scab got cold...cold feet..." the gangster sighs as the drugs take hold. Princess Hellstab slaps a band aid with a happy face over the vein.
"You're still taking us to soccer practice later, right?" asks Hellstab, poking Weasel's slumped over form with her toe until she hears a grunt of affirmation.
Smiling, Princess Hellstab skips through the broken glass and sleeping bodies that litter the floor of the Westside hideout. She opens a door that should have led to a staircase, but now instead leads to a hallway. Unconcerned, the princess skips down the hallway, occasionally hopping over passed out junkies and sleeping gangsters. She opens the door at the end of the hallway and finds a spiral staircase she has never seen before. The Princess hops on the railing and slides down expertly, reflecting on the nature of reality.
Since Luci had started living with them, the abandoned house in Teir-5 had been slowly warping into a surreal Escher-like labyrinth of hallways and stairs. Doors lead mysterious places, stairways shifting when you aren't watching them. The Hufflepunks, a gang of former Hogwarts alumni, have adjusted easily. The Deathblades however, a gang of young children with an interest in anime, tend to get lost and scared. Princess Hellstab thinks of herself as a very brave warrior indeed, and so she tries not to cry when she gets lost, if nothing else than to set an example.
The princess opens a door at the bottom of the staircase and bumps into Yukki Kazuto.
"Sorry," he murmurs as he tries to push past her. The princess does not move, but glares up at the bounty-hunter.
"Oh, uh, pardon me, your Highness," he mumbles sleepily. The princess does not move, but glares up at the bounty hunter.
Yukki shrugs uncomfortably. "Uh, I'm just-"
"What were you doing?" asks the princess.
"What?" asks Yukki, despite having heard the young girl very well.
"Right now, what were you doing?" she repeats, despite her excellent annunciation.
"What were you doing?" asks Yukki, folding his arms and glaring back her highness. "Do you have a bedtime? Do you go to school? Are you barefoot right now? This house is disgusting, have you ever seen a doctor? Is that a plastic sword? Where are your parents?"
"I don't have parents," replies the princess flatly. "I go to the school of hard knocks, and we take night classes, that means no bedtime. And this sword might be plastic, but it kills orcs dead. Anyways, I'm on my way to a war council, wanna come?"
***
The war council is solemn as they sip fake tea from pink plastic cups. Gathered around Princess Hellstab's Royal War Table are eight representatives from two Westside gangs, and Yukki Kazuto.
At the head of the pink plastic table is Shadow Kill, the ten-year-old President of the Westside Deathblades. To his left is his sister, the elegant Princess Hellstab. They are flanked on either side by the first and second lieutenants of the Westside Deathblades.
At the foot of the table, her patched Hogwarts robe slipping with her eyelids, is Weasel, President of the Westside Hufflepunks. Her lieutenants, a trio of teenage punk rock wizards, struggle not to giggle as they sip the fake tea respectfully.
The topic of conversation is Voga, a Hutt pimp and sex trafficker. Apparently a small time Knife Ear gang have found him in Teir-4, but they don't have the muscle or the authorization for a hit. The issue is, as far as Yuki could see, that this council can't actually give authorization.
"Moss will literally kill me," Weasel reiterates. "Scab and Dick-Face, that's on me. That shit with Qor, that's on Koloth. Batgirl, that's on Shadow Kill. All those though, we got authorization from Luci for, and that's not the same as Moss, and we all know it. This is different. If we authorize this, behind everyone's back, Moss will call bullshit, and he's right. This needs council approval, and we won't get it from Moss, or the Ewoks, or the Klingons."
Shadow Kill confers quietly with Princess Hellstab. Weasel catches Yukki's eye and licks her lips grossly.
"Luci gave us a job," says President Shadow Kill in his young but confident voice. "That's all the approval I need."
The two gang leaders lock eyes from across the table. After a long while, Weasel lights a cigarette. She smokes in silence for a longer while.
"Moss will literally kill me," Weasel repeats. "I'm sorry. But I didn't sign up for the President Perky Tits Armed Forces."
The Deathblades lean in to whisper among themselves again.
Finally Princess Hellstab asks the table at large, "What if we send the Reaper?"