Jacket (Joining)

[Ash Williams]

Character name: Richard "Jacket" Fritz

Character source: Hotline Miami

Character history: Jacket is the name that this ominous resident in Miami, Florida goes by. His story begins when he turned 21 and joined the US special forces. He gets stationed in Hawaii in the mid 80s when the Soviets started invading the US territory. After serving in the military, he retires to Miami and start a fresh life. In early April 1989, he starts getting these weird dreams after a breakup he had with his girlfriend. The dream involves him in a dirty apartment with three figures sitting there with animal masks such as a horse, chicken, and owl. One of the three strangers that was wearing the chicken mask asked him four simple questions such as do you like hurting other people, who is leaving messages on your answering machine, where are you right now, and why are we having this conversation? One morning, Jacket wakes up with a message on his answering machine telling him to go to this location and there is a package left in front of his apartment's door. He opens up the package which consists a mysterious note telling him what to do and a chicken mask. This event dawns Jacket's bloody relentless massacre on the Russian mafia. He kept getting these messages in the morning and continued to do those tasks which most of his actions were killing off every Russian gangster in this specific location. In early June 1989, he receives one message that would change his life forever. He hops in his Delorean dmc-12 and drives off to the location which took him about an hour to get across the city. It didn't take him long to murder every Russian that was present to the area. When he killed off the leader that was leading part of the mafia group, there was a phone on the desk in the room that he killed the leader in and answered it. He heard the caller that sounded familiar like the one who questioned him in his dreams and about his actions. "A new morning is arriving..." the phone hanged up after those words and Jacket walked out to his car and gets in. He starts driving down the road and noticing a blinding light he was heading into and was not sure what it was. A flash happens in his vision and can't recalled what just happened. Perhaps the new morning has arrived thus bringing him into the Omniverse.

Physical Description:
Masked
[spoiler][/spoiler]

Unmasked (The guy who is behind the chicken masked figure)
[spoiler][/spoiler]

Stats:
ATK:3
DEF:2
SPD:2
TEC:3

Starting Proficiencies:
Physical Strength (1000)
Ranged Proficiency (1000)
Area Attack Proficiency (600)

Starting Powers:
Basic super jumping (300)

Starting Moves:

wooden baseball bat(300):
Weighing in at 4 pounds (1.4 kg), Length is 42 inches (1066.8 mm), Width is about 2.75 inches (69.85 mm). Swing speed for jacket is at a moderate speed to at least be harmful on impact. The swinging range is around at 2.5 meters (8 ft).This can serve a brutal blows if swung hard enough and can be tiring if the bat keeps swinging repeatedly at moderate speed as if hitting a baseball.

Jacket's Piece(600):
[spoiler][/spoiler]
A Mac 11 with a silencer, grip and extended clip that holds up about 30 rounds. The gun can shoot from short to medium range due to it being a SMG and silenced. It will take about 3.22 seconds to empty a full mag on full auto. There is a auto fire/semi switch which can be useful to be precise on the shots also the grip helps with that. Reload takes around 4.3 seconds on a fresh new clip.

a claw hammer(300)
Is faster at swinging around 0.8 seconds and weighing in at 0.75 lbs (12 oz). This weapons does not do much damage as a bat but does have a quick attacking speed. The range on the hammer is around 1.85 m (6 ft). Length of the hammer is about 4 inches.

Molotov Cocktails(300)
The max quantity for this weapon is 2 to be holding. Throwing ranges around 35 meters (114 ft) and leaves a lingering effect on the area which the cocktail impacts on. The effect radius is about 5 m (16 ft) and spread is around 10 (32 ft). It only effects anyone standing in the area when the cocktail initially goes off. The fire will last up to 30 seconds to effect the enemies.

Winchester m1887(300)
[spoiler][img]http://preview.turbosquid.com/Preview/2014/07/04__07_25_26/Render_1887%20%5BR%C3%A9solution%20de%20l'%C3%A9cran%5D.jpgb930878c-079c-46e2-bcab-d55787f64957Large.jpg[/img][/spoiler]
The gun uses 12 gauge rounds and holds up to 5 shells. The range of it is short due to the shells having a spread effect when fired effecting mutliple targets if close together Rate of fire is single shot due to the lever action. The gun takes about 0.55 seconds to cock the lever for another shell to load into the chamber. Reload takes about 2.75 seconds for each shell to load into the gun.
to sum up I spend is about 5000 (I hope I did my math correct >.<)

I confirm that I have read and agreed to the Rules of Conduct. I have indeed read the rules and agree to the rules of conduct.

[Ash Williams]

Bumping it just so an admin could see it.

[Strazio Rockwell]

Hey Jacket, welcome to the Omniverse!

Sorry it took a bit to get to your application, a good portion of the staff has been preoccupied with our current saga.

Your history and descriptions look fine.

Your moves do need a little bit of work, I'll note some specifics, but I do recommend readingthis. I also would recommend listing the proficiencies required next to each move for clarity's sake.

Wooden Baseball Bat - This needs a better description, how large/long is it? How tiring is it to swing?

Jacket's Piece - How many bullets can this fire and what is the rate of fire? What is the effective range on the weapon? How long is the reload time?

Utility Hammer - Same as the baseball bat.

Molotov Cocktail - How far can you throw this? How large of an area does it affect? Is it more like a grenade with a single burst of damage or does it leave a lingering effect? How many do you have or how long does it take for you to summon/make a new one?

Winchester M1887 - Same as Jacket's Piece.

Overall your moves are lacking in specifics, we try to keep moves as unambiguous as possible so as to avoid confusion when dealing with others.

[Ash Williams]

No probs on how long it took to respond. I did approach the weaponry a bit more realistic this time and I don't mind if you see something else in the explanations that needs to be improved.Thanks for your opinion.

[Strazio Rockwell]

Looking much better, just got a few more alterations and you'll be good to go!


Baseball Bat - I would remove the specific swing time and change it to something along the lines of "this weapon can be swung moderately fast". The swing time is a bit difficult to parse through. I would also remove the bit about the downward execution swing, unless you want to add it as another function of the move (which would cost another 300 OM). If you do wish to add it as another function of the move I would add some kind of charge time to it, rather than an execution effect.

Jacket's Piece - I would change the RPM to a measurement of the time it takes to empty a single clip, makes it easier to read. I would also tone back the firerate, I know guns in real life can spit lead at such incredible rates, but for the sake of balance this should be nerfed. The choice between semi-auto/full auto is fine, but it'll add 300 OM to the cost because it is a variability, trading fire rate for accuracy.

Claw Hammer - Similiar to the Wooden Bat, I would also add the total length to the description. Being able to throw it would add an extra 300 OM due to the variability.

Molotov Cocktail - I'd bump the lingering effect area down by about 5 m, the lingering effect will be relatively minor and won't cling to people unless you add debuff proficiency. I would also reword the last bit to something like this "The molotov's initial impact area engulfs a 5 m in flame, fire then spreads outwards up to 10m." Also how long does the fire last before it dissipates?

Winchester M1887 - Similiar to Jacket's Piece I would remove the RPM and just say this is a single shot weapon and describe how long it takes to ready the next shot (including the lever action). How large is the cone of effect? I'd also get rid of the 5 shot limit and add a different drawback. (Only able to fire stationary, slow reload time, slight knockback on the wielder when fired, etc. etc.)



Another thing to keep in mind is that the damage your weapons deal is a factor of your ATK. So a super fast firing weapon without an obscenely high ATK stat will do fairly low amounts of damage, unless it has a large drawback.

[Ash Williams]

I did nerf and tried to put things in a simpler format. Sorry for making things looking too OP and hope you find everything suitable.

[Ash Williams]

Bumping again so an admin will be able to see my changes.

[Strazio Rockwell]

Baseball Bat - Approved

Jacket's Piece - The choice between semi-auto and full auto adds a variability which costs 300 OM. I see you added that in the description, but it needs to be add to the total cost.

Claw Hammer - Approved

Molotov - Remove the 3 posts duration, and leave the 30 seconds and this is fine. Posts are variable in time, with some lasting moments and others lasting minutes.

Winchester - Is the spread on this large enough to affect multiple people? Or is it only single target?

Changes those few things and you'll be good to go.

[Ash Williams]

Made the changes as you ask.

[Strazio Rockwell]

When I meant the auto/semi switch would add 300 to Jacket's Piece I meant to the total price. I adjusted it for you, because it looked like you still wanted the functionality.

Other than that everything is good and I'll approve you!

APPROVED

Name: Jacket
Level: 1
Spent OM: 4700
Proficiencies (2600): Physical Strength, Ranged Proficiency, Area Attack Proficiency
Moves (1800): Wooden Baseball Bat, Jacket's Piece, A Claw Hammer, Molotov Cocktail, Winchester M1887
Super Moves:
Transformations:
Assists:
Items:
Bases:
Base Stats:
ATK - 3
DEF - 2
SPD - 2
TEC - 3

Make a roster in the Roster Forum, copy and paste the above and make that the first post of your roster. The second reply should contain all the core information of your character(Look at the profile of an active member to see what I'm talking about)

Here's a topic to help you along: What to Do Once You've Been Approved

Remember that your first post should be in the Nexus after you've been taken by Omni, and all future purchases should go in a log that I shall set up shorty.

You're good to go! Enjoy the Omniverse!