04-11-2015, 05:32 PM
![[Image: 2vafomt.jpg]](http://i62.tinypic.com/2vafomt.jpg)
"Welcome to the official Pokémon compendium, an omnibus digest chronicling all the merry happenings of the Grand Fighting Festival! I am your battle reporter and esteemed journalist, Vance Maxwell, here with my trusty cohort Patrat, acting as my auxiliary set of eyes and ears. Reporting in from the isle of Cinnabar, I shall broadcast the scoop as fresh events unfold! Patrat will also be compiling a roster of contestants, detailing their prowess and achievements. To view all the indexed info, click right Here!"
[float=right]February 15th, 2015[/float]
"Unfortunately, despite my neutrality, inter-species prohibitions prevent me from relaying information directly from the island. Damn scalawags! How can they deny me such an opportunity? ME! Ahem, thus, for now I shall rely upon Patrat to infiltrate and deliver feedback. Sorry for the inconvenience!"
[float=right]Frustrated Reporter,
~Vance Maxwell, Out![/float]
[float=right]————————[/float]
[float=right]March 10th, 2015[/float]
"After many pleas, the embargo has been lifted folks! Higher ups must've realized their error in preventing such an incredible white-collar with boundless renown such as myself from gracing their sanctuary with my presence. I, ??, am traveling via helicopter at this very moment. In approximately forty-seven minutes I will set foot upon the legendary isle of Pokémon! I probably should've mentioned to the pilot that I'm afraid of heights, WAAAHHH!!!—"
[float=right]First Time Tourist,
~Vance Maxwell, Out![/float]
[float=right]————————[/float]
[float=right]March 25th, 2015[/float]
"Wretched monkeys stole my laptop no sooner than my feet hit the sandy beach! They even threw poo at me! What sort of barbaric welcome is that?! Luckily I brought my back up. Hah, imbeciles, thought you got one over on me eh? Though my brand new suit smells like feces, guh! Anyways, I'm back in business now. I bore witness to a climactic mashup of blades verses brawn, as today the tenacious Bisharp prevailed over the brutish Gurdurr in a test of might during the preliminary qualifying match! Just a sample of what we can expect in this heated competition!"
[float=right]Hot-Blooded Spectator,
~Vance Maxwell, Out![/float]
[float=right]————————[/float]
[float=right]April 6th, 2015[/float]
"The officially sanctioned competition is underway, and boy what a doozy it proved to be. The first matchup included a peculiar young lad by the name of Luffy, a human like myself if you can believe it, going head to head with the 'train-stopper' Hariyama. Persevering through prejudice and trepidation, the seafarer triumphed spectacularly by pulverizing his husky opponent with a single strike! According to fans, never before has Hariyama been thrown off his feet, yet Luffy jettisoned the brute all the way into the arena's barricade. Keep your eyes on Team Mugiwara, I have an inkling this won't be the last time they slump our jaws!"
"I was also able to swing a quick interview with the three guest commentators. Not one of them seemed too inclined to speak with me at first, but throwing in some Pokepuffs seemed to sweeten them up, pun intended! Booyah!"
—| Interview with Pikachu |—
So, Pikachu, who is your most favored team in the competition?
Pi! Team Mugiwara sure is causing some static, and they seem pretty interesting, but my vote still goes to the electrifying Greased Lightning squad.
—
If you weren't busy as an officiator of the festival, what would you be doing elsewhere?
Eating pecha berries, playing with Pichu, or just lounging around. It's better I stay active and energetic-kachu.
—
What impressions do you harbor of your fellow commenters?
Roserade is pretty and smells nice, but she's quiet. Can come off as a bit snobby, but that's just her 'resting bitch face,' 'cause she's actually very polite and proper-pika.
Machamp is a big, brawny lug-head, but he's actually sharper and more insightful than he looks, and works harder than anybody I've ever seen. Well deserving of his championship title.
—
It's no secret you covet an affectionate following. Anything you'd like to relay to your adoring fans?
Pika Pi!
—
—| Interview with Roserade |—
I bet the ladies are dying to know, just what is your secret to retaining such beauty and elegance?
Nothing special.
—
Hailing from the Royal Kingdom yourself, can you describe the luxurious majesty of the imperial dominion?
Nothing special.
—
Don't take this the wrong way, but you smell fantabulous! What sort of perfume do you wear?
Nothing special.
—
Being head instructor of the royal dancers tribe, how have you mastered such eloquent and magnificent choreography?
Practice.
—
—| Interview with Machamp |—
So tell us, how does the reigning champ stay in such impressive shape?
Heh, just a typical training regiment. 5,000 push-ups, 10,000 squats, 8,000 crunches, 40 mile jogging session, 1,000 boulder tosses, 3,000 Snorlax bench-presses, and 3 swimming laps around the island. After that warm-up I cook breakfast and prepare for mid-day training.
. . . right, typical regiment . . .
—
How do you think this contest will compare to last year?
If it's anythin' like the last festival, fans 'er in fer' a treat. They ain't just one on one battles on the reg. The Grand Fightin' Festival always tosses in some wild cards!
—
Any words of encouragement for aspiring contestants?
My motto is simple. 'Might is right!' If ya' don't have the power to demolish obstacles in yer' way, then gain the power!
—
And what of those who desire to meet you toe to toe in the arena?
Feh, bring it on!
—
~Vance Maxwell, Out![/float]
[float=right]————————[/float]
![[Image: giphy.gif]](http://media3.giphy.com/media/Rx8H5yTo36LLy/giphy.gif)