Zone X -- The Colosseum

[Karl Jak]

It's a Colosseum.  There aren't people in it, so feel free to fight in the stands or in the interior of the structure.  It's floating, and no, there's a magic force field so you can't fall off or be thrown off (#Dante Physics) and no, the field is better than you.

[Karl Jak]

Face to Face -- Dawn vs Wu Kong vs Gamzee Makara

From their respective spots on the island, the three primes felt a slight feeling of warmth in the air around them.  A moment later, they were sitting on sand, surrounded by empty seats with only the blue skies overhead.

"Welcome to Colosseum," a voice declared from hidden loudspeakers that seemed to be laced throughout the stone structure.  "You have been culled from the island and must now fight for the right to return to it."  Karl cleared his throat and took a sip of wine before placing his lips back above the microphone.

"Good luck.  I'll have a present for the person who wins."

Word Limit: 800
Posts Per Player: 2
Time Limit: 20 hours 
Random Elements: On

Post Order is:  Dawn -- Wu Kong -- Gamzee.
Timer starts now.

[Dawnika Snow]

The warmth of air surround the assassin and a curse word formed upon lips just before she disappeared. Within a single moment, she was in a new area: A colloseum as mentioned in the rules and breifing. Dawn spawned just a few feet from the sandy ground, landing on her back end unpleasantly.

"Goddammit Karl Jak, if you spawn me in midair one more time I swear I'll-" Her sentence was cut off by Karl's voice coming through an unidentified megaphone somewhere in the spiral structure.

"I'll have a present for the person who wins."

He said before the microphone gave some feedback and his voice disappeared.

"Suck a cock." She said before slowly standing up and surveying the battlefield. It looked like the Roman Colosseum, if only empty and unbloodied. Afar on the battlefield stood her enemies. A young child, dressed in gold as if he(or, she?) thought himself prouder than the sun itself; more off to the left, spacing the three like points of a large triangle, was a man, clad in dark clothes and colorful horns. "This world gets weirder every fucking day." The vigilante murmured to herself.

No bell sounded to begin their fight so, she assumed they could begin, pulling her sniper from her back. The golden-dressed child took a righting stance with his hands, perhap they were an up close fighter? The other one just stood there idly, in fact, it seemed as though he was looking into the sky, with something in his hand: A...soda can? Well, if he was just going to stand there and be an idiot, Dawn could probably focus on the child first.

That's when a goldish light appeared from Chakravartin's body and began to float around him. The stance he had taken up was a charging method then, she'll need to stop that-

"Hoooooly shit!" Said Gamzee pointing over at Wu Kong. "That kid is a fucking magician! That's so cool, bro! Can you, like, pull rabbits out of tophats and shit too? That's, like, another miracle of life, like this Faygo man." What the fuck was he saying? This was so dumb, she needed to take the first shot. Dawn looked down the tiny scope of her weapon and trained it on the golden child. A satisfying explosion of gunpowder blasted from the barrel of her rifle. His focus ended in order to dodge the oncoming attack, but it was too late. The bullet found itself in Chakravartin's right shoulder, just before he was able to get his second palace hand in motion.

"Whaaaat? Yo, lady, why would you shoot the magician? That was some cool shit he was doin'." Gamzee called out to Dawn, but the assassin didn't care for his words, she aimed her rifle at Gamzee, who stood there until Dawn pulled the trigger. He quickly shot to the side, much faster than the child did.

"Damn he's fast." She said to herself, putting her sniper back in place. Chakravartin stood back up and dug the bullet from his body, which hadn't made it as far into his as she had wished. She'll need more muscle. A demonic power surfaced from her body, exploding from her mouth in black flames and enveloping her in a light show of fire in the shape of an unbloomed rose. Chakravartin used this time to summon another palace hand in the few seconds Dawn was wrapped in her demonic cacoon. Gamzee stood in amazement at her spectacle of fire.

"That shit is pretty cool too." He says taking another sip of his Faygo. Then Erika emerged from the black cacoon as the flames dissipated. "Whoa, where'd that other girl with the black hair go? Is this a competition for magicians? I thought it was supposed to be a fight or something."

"Good guess, and you're the one who's going to die!" Erika said charging into the battle, towards the Faygo Troll.

"So hostile, girl. You should really just chill and take a drink of this Faygo. My good buddy Karkat used to act like you, ya know, like, crazy and angry, but then he tried some Faygo and now he's- Well, he's still pretty angry, but he thought the Faygo was good." The whole time Gamzee talked, he was thinking about the miracles that world possessed because of his speech. He didn't see Erika's fist plow into his face and send him into the wall behind him. A follow up attack came from Chakravartin, who had summoned four of his floating hands. The fist plowed into Erika side, but she was able to keep her balance.

"You're next!" She snarled at the child god.

793/800 words based on the site counter(All I can use).

Dawn used her Sniper, her Steel Gauntlets, and switched into Erika.
Gamzee stood there drinking Faygo, use burst movement to dodge Dawn's sniper, and took a punch to the face.
Charkravartin took a bullet to the shoulder and summoned his palace hands, which he used to hit Erika with.

Wu Kong is up.

[Larfleeze]

Finally! This was what he had been waiting for. Actual honest-to-goodness fighting! "As much as I enjoy getting- ergh!" the girl spun around, making due on her threat, affirming it with a punch to the stomach, by Himself, that hurt! "Oof, right to the point, not even allowing us chance for introductions is a bit rude, isn't it?" 
 
"I don't care who you are!" Erika shot back, rearing back for another punch. Her fist flung forwards, but met no resistance as it had before. Her fist splattered Chakravartin across the ground. Momentarily shocked at having literally blasted her opponent apart, her eyes fell on the four hands, still orbiting the largest puddle of his body, and his two swords, which were sent clattering into the golden liquid. 
 
"What the heck?" she muttered.
 
"Holy fuck! You exploded him into motherfucking shiny-ass confetti! He was just a motherfucking kid, practicing his own wicked stage miracles, and you blew the motherfucker up!"
 
"Well, it's a death game! What'd you expect! I'll splatter you next!" Erika hissed, once again turning towards Gamzee. 
 
She soon had her hands tied with the troll in front of her, who was slowly beginning to lose his own chill at the sight of a kid getting murdered. Gamzee was faster than her, more flexible, and just a bit more skilled. As she began to brawl in earnest, she found him dodging an infuriatingly high number of her blows, and the few that did land didn’t do as much as she wanted. The troll was sturdy.
 
“What the fuck is that rude business?!” Gamzee growled out suddenly, staring, wide-eyed at something behind Erika. It could have been a ruse, but she doubted the clown had the intelligence for something like that. That split-second decision was all that kept her from losing her head.
 
She dropped quickly, and then began backing off as soon as she saw the two floating swords that had nearly caught her neck between themselves. The two blades didn’t stop in their swings, and simply continued spinning on their handles. She and Gamzee then noticed holding the hilt of the weapon were golden hands. Their speed grew further and further, and from the slithering liquid mass both had dismissed rose the form of Chakravartin.
 
The sound of steel singing through the air became nearly deafening. Chakravartin was smiling smugly as he walked calmly forward, his arms held crossed in front of him. “Those were good hits, I’ll admit.” Chakravartin said loudly, over the sound of his swords spinning like an airplane propeller, “But I think that’ll be the last one, now that you know it’s useless. I dare either of you to come closer.”
 
“Holy shit, you’re alive. Motherfucking miracles all over the place, shit’s like, seven rabbits coming out of their little hat houses, easy.” Gamzee said, smiling, surprised. The troll looked over to Erika, “Now, can’t we like, figure this shit out first before we go motherfucking swinging at each other all over again?”
 
“There’s nothing to figure out!” Erika growled, reaching to her thigh for a gun. It wasn’t her specialty, but Wu Kong wasn’t too far away, was he? However, both competitors stopped in their places as Chakravartin’s third floating hand began to glow brightly.
 
“There really isn’t, you know.” Chakravartin said, “We’re in the arena, and only one of us gets out alive.” The grey and gold orb of roiling light coalesced into a beach-ball sized sphere. Erika raised her pistol, to fire at it, when Chakravartin reached into his pack, pulling out a can, “I propose a toast!” Chakravartin shouted, above the sound of the whirring blades.
 
Two seconds. Three seconds.
 
“A what?!” Erika growled, changing her aim to Chakravartin’s head.
 
Five seconds. Six seconds.
 
“Ah, hell yeah.” Gamzee said with a wide grin, “I’ll toast ya’ little guy.” The troll pulled out his own drink.
 
Eight seconds. Nine seconds. Ten. Eleven. Twelve.  
 
Chakravartin raised his can of Namek-Weiser, sure, it was a pickup, and might be important to the rest of the game- but that girl’s punches were something he hadn’t felt in millennium, proportionally at least, and the troll was faster than Chakravartin, his movements smoother. He didn’t know whether he would win against either, and he needed every advantage he could get. “I propose a toast to ourselves! May the best Prime win!”
 
“Fuck yeah magic bro.” Gamzee raised his bottle.  
 
Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen.
 
“The ball!” Erika shouted, firing her pistol wildly. Three shots, three more seconds.
 
Chakravartin smiled, began pouring Namek-Weiser down his throat, and threw his Palace Taihou. 

796/800 words (according to the site counter. 762 according to MS Word)

Chakravartin took two hits with Steel Gauntlets, then disassembled. Gamzee used Burst Movement and Master Acrobatics to avoid Erika. Chakravartin reassembles, and uses Spinning Death Palace Hands on Erika, who dodges. Chakravartin distracts them by consuming the 

Namek-weiser (Consumable) – Beverage. Halves the damage you would receive in a fight, win or lose. Must be drank during first fight post.

while charging power for Palace Taihou Variation 2: Grenade. Erika draws Calibur X45. 

Okay Gamzee, you're up. Holy shit was that nervewracking to write.  

[Gamzee Makara]

Ball? Gamzee likes balls! Especially the circus ones, like the ones seals balance on their noses and shit? Hell yeah, balls are the be-

It would soon occur to the intrepid juggalo hero that not all balls were to be played with, no. Seal balls? Sure, have at it, ya sick circus freak. But the one kind of balls that you never ever fuck with, were the balls of a God. You see, when Gamzee Makara turned around to find the ball that his newest lady friend was talking about, he was far more occupied with how pretty and shiny and fuckin' miraculous that such a beautiful ball could even be motherfucking comprehended by his mortal eyes. So, naturally, the High-Blood tries to grab the god's ball.

Sometimes, it is important in storytelling to let the audience come to their own understanding of what happens next.

Gamzee is sent sprawling through the air by the force of the illustrious blast, flip flopping through the dry sands of the coliseum for a few good yards before finally skidding to a stop on his face. It is also worthy to note that in this particular situation, his body was positioned in such a way that his ass stuck high into the air. For a few good moments, he just lay there one the ground, absolutely astounded by how something so captivating and beautiful could also sting like a motherfucker. Motherfuckin' miracles, man. Balls, dude, how do they work? Gamzee's view on balls was certainly now a much more cautious one, wary for traps like the God's ball. He was certain that he would think twice before playing with random balls from now on.

What was sad about this entire situation was that the Troll had yet to show the slightest sign of hostility, which he was actually quite proud of. To him, it usually kinda felt like people were just mad at him for existing. He liked to believe that he had a naturally unflappable friendly demeanor. Hell, he wasn't even sure he knew what the word unflappable meant. He just liked the way it all up and motherfuckin' sounded vibrating off of his lips. I mean shit, he didn't feel like he looked very threatening. Maybe now would be a good time to fix that. Maybe he didn't really have a choice. Maybe it's a Miracle.

After all, not all Miracles are pleasant.

Gamzee pushes himself up from the white sand, spitting out a little glob of the stuff that he had been force fed by gravity. A long purple tongue slowly drags itself across his lips. The clown opens his mouth and for the first time since being teleported here, the other two primes actually pay attention to what he says.

"Man, this shit is kinda chalky," he begins slowly, "makin' my mouth's kinna dry."

"Sure wish you motherfuckers hadn't all up and wasted my Faygo like that," the troll practically spits out, gesturing to the remains of his sugary fruity drink lying in the dirt. The diabetes inducing beverage had been melted by the SARU's ball. The plastic still sizzled and dribbled into a pool of nigh-boiling soda. Something had crept into the very edges of this normally jovial juvenile's voice. Something that neither Chakravartin nor Erika could place, yet at the same time managed to sound familiar to both of them.

"Looks like Imma just have to get to satin' my thirst the old fashioned way."

It was almost primal, subhuman even.

"Y'all motherfuckers wanna help? I'm just itchin' to quench the wicked parched desert that is my gullet."

But there was an intelligence behind these animalistic sounds, something beyond a need just to survive. Some would call it sadistic. Others, masochistic, maybe even hedonistic. Lots of motherfuckin' istics in this bitch. Gamzee don't need such istics to describe a motherfucking feeling, because it ain't a feeling, brother. It's an emotion, an instinct. Gamzee calls this shit fun.

"And what better righteous refreshment than your motherfuckin' blood?"

Silence, after this last question is asked. Gamzee isn't really sure what a rhetoric question is, but if he did know, this would be one of those rhetoric questions. His deuce clubs poof into existence in a shower of rainbow sparkles. The only rhetoric this High-Blood knew was how to beat the shit out of shit. These two peasant-bloods were shit. So now he's gotta beat the shit out of them. It's pretty simple actually, it's like a two-step rehab program, but with more death than usual.

Gamzee laughs a carefree laugh, as if he were a child being let out of school early, before sprinting straight for Erika, who just happened to be more of a bitch than a god, somehow, and was now paying for it dearly.

798 words on Wordcounter.net
literally nothing really happened except that Gamzee is charging blindly and wildly at Dawn for being a meanie. He ain't sober, just kinda serious now.

[Dawnika Snow]

The idiot troll from earlier had disappeared, his demeanor changed faster than lightning could strike. The once calm and carefree man now rushed crazily into Erika, swinging his arms at her like it was his day job. The funny thing was, that was actually her job.

The first swing got Erika good and winded her for a second, but she recovered after dodging another punch. The Faygo Fiend threw a right hook straight for the blondes face, but with good reflexes, she saw it coming, ducking under his fist and attempting to tackle him to the ground. Somehow, he kept his footing. A quick look at her other opponent showed that the God was attempting his explosive balls once more. Not this time.

Gamzee was still pissed off. He balled his fists, raising them above his head and driving them into Erika's spine like a stake. She needed to something quick or she would have too many injuries and be unable to continue fighting at this rate. She rose her right fist and plowed it into Miracle Makara's right knee, forcing him to kneel. Then she took her hand to the troll's neck and, with all the force she could muster, threw her opponent at her other opponent. Completely unprepared for such a situation, Chakravartin found himself unable to dodge the flying faygo monster. His Palace Taihou went soaring into the sky, where it would harm no one but a few stray pigeons.

Erika fell into the sand upon throwing Gamzee into the other opponent. She breathed heavily and coughed up a bit of blood into the inside of her facemask. The troll was much stronger than she had initially perceived.

"Damn it all! I refuse to lose in my first fight! You're going to die, and you're going to love it!" The psychopathic blonde snarled ruthlessly. Her anger built in a way no one could ever understand, and it wasn't something that should be used to entertain children at a birthday party.

The two had recovered from the collision Erika had forced upon them. Chakravartin's Palace Hands still floated around him and Gamzee was still ugly, but the tiny blonde wasn't going to settle for just ugly. Power collected around her, some kind of aura the other two couldn't see but could feel in the air. Chakravartin just smirked, getting a bit cocky with his Namek-weiser potion her had found; he had barely even felt the collision with Gamzee. His Palace hand charged at Erika as her hair turned silver and her eyes went from pink to a crimson red that burned through their very souls with just a glance, hotter than any fire the three of them had ever seen.

"Tch." Her once high-pitched voice grew deeper when she sneered at the light weight attack. Her fist battered through the gooey substance that made up the gods extra hands.

"If you don't want to die," The assassin sneered as she took off her facemask and held it in her left hand. "I suggest you get serious, kid."

The guns on girls back had disappeared with her new hair color. Her sword remained, however, along with her combat knife, Gladium. Gamzee had had enough of the magic tricks these two were pulling, it was time to actually draw the blood he oh so craved when he began swinging abruptly at Erika the first time. He pulled out his battering pins and ran at Erika again.

"You already did that trick once!" He screamed, somewhat upset that she would even think of trying to use the same trick twice. "I'll make sure you don't do it motherfucking thrice!"

Erika took her stance, right side forward ready to make her move, only, her move was not what Gamzee had expected. The mask in her hand from earlier flew from her left hand and towards him. While it was nowhere near hard to dodge, when he had turned his sights back on Erika, she had disappeared. Or, rather she was so fast for a split second that she had practically teleported behind him. Before he could even turn around, her fist drove into the back of his head, which in turn made a satisfying noise as his face plowed into the sand for the third time now.

Chakravartin wouldn't make the same mistake Gamzee did. He was ready for her. He took stance with his three remaining palace hands and sent one hurdling at Erika. It made a decent dent in her armor. Though, after that, his opponent proved hard to follow using her burst movement twice to get upon him. Her fist was raised.

"You aren't ready for this."

800/800 on site counter. SP reduced to 1/4

Erika used Demonic Lineage which increases her stats to a total of 6/5/4/1, which should remain active for the continuation of this round. She took some decent hits from both Gamzee and Chakravartin, and is like very winded from the three consecutive burst movements. The last punch coming at Chakravartin is Fist of the Fallen, a Tier 2 super attack. If you have no way to counter my attack, I suggest you try and block it the best you can. I used colored text to help indicate Erika(red) in her regular form from her in her Demon From(silver).

Gamzee is in the sand again. He got a little cocky but he seems to be getting more serious by pulling out his pins. Erika got a few good punchs on him, but he seems to be kickin' alright.

Chakravartin tried to use his Taihou on Erika but ended up eviscerating some pigeons instead - Not to mention he's lost a palace hand, leaving him with three to use unless he summons the fifth one to replace the one that was destroyed. He also might need a new face after this punch >.> Good thing you have that Namek-Wieser!

[Larfleeze]

The attack was like nothing he had felt before. He briefly considered summoning a Taihou in front of him- her fist would strike the orb, and though he would feel the full force of the explosion, the damage would be less so than the rage-filled fists coming at him.
 
But he just didn’t have time. She was faster now, faster than him. The gold and silver Chi barely even began to shape when the strike hit him full-on. He tried to melt, but it wasn’t fast enough. His body was sent tumbling, his confused attempts at defense leaving him a half-melted, half-beaten mush of a god. He could feel the alien brew working in his protean veins, helping him pull back together, but that had been one hell of a hit.
 
She was right. He loved it!
 
He took quick stock; his left shoulder was more-or-less useless, as was the arm attached to it. Luckily, he had hands to spare. His face felt like he had submerged it in a sun, and he was pretty sure he lost an eye on the same side. He would have lost more, if not for the beer. He would have to thank Karl personally at some point, and he wouldn’t even be sarcastic doing so. His remaining eye observed as Gamzee took advantage of Erika’s focus on Chakravartin. He was a whirlwind of savage strikes and singing blows, the colorful clubs dancing against her, but while she felt the strikes, none of them made a lasting impact on her new form.
 
Pulling himself together; whole, but wounded, Chakravartin gathered the three hands he had left, and began to spin his two swords once more as he began walking towards the fray. In his remaining Palace Hand, another Taihou was born. Both his opponents saw him coming, and Gamzee backed off, changing targets and springing himself towards Chakravartin. For a moment, it looked like he would run head-long into the Spinning Death, but he cleared both buzz-saws with a leap that took him over Chakravartin’s head, and crashing to the dirt behind him. The troll whipped around, slamming both clubs into the god’s undefended back, but all it did was stagger him. Chakravartin sent his working arm and fist careening into the troll’s jaw, staggering him right back.
 
Erika rushed forwards, even after her steel gauntlets were shattered by her last attack, she simply endured the spinning swords. The momentum wasn’t enough to cut dangerously, giving her a few good slashes, but nothing that ran too deep. Chakravartin felt the shaking feeling that now that she had transformed, she was more durable than he was.
 
She pushed her way through his blades, screaming in rage, just as Gamzee reared back for a harder hit against his back. He dropped to ground, and melted once more, feeling sick as the exhaustion began to creep up on him. Gamzee couldn’t stop in time, and neither could Erika. Club met stomach, fist met face, and one floating golden hand dropped a still only beach-ball sized Taihou onto the mess.
 
Erika’s and Gamzee’s arms had outstretched to hit where Chakravartin no longer was, and with the impact against each other, the Taihou was caught nicely between their two outstretched hands. It detonated, flinging the two away from each other. The explosion wasn’t too harsh- neither had lost the use of their limb, but both would be feeling the pain.
 
“Damn it!” Erika growled, smashing her foot down uselessly into the golden goop, and waving her sword towards the golden hands. She knocked one of the god’s own swords away, but the golden hands were quick.
 
“You’re making me downright cautious about juggling, motherfucker.” Gamzee said with a shaky laugh, flapping his injured arm to get the feeling back into it. “But I can motherfucking play at catch the motherfucking party grenade game, since you like this bitching flashy funtime so much.” Putting his clubs beneath his armpits and holding them to his sides, he put his hands together, smoke and magicks pouring from them, “All that stomping ain’t doing shit worth, white-hair.” Gamzee called, “Want to see if this can hurt the shiny little motherfucker?”
 
“I’m killing both of you!” she responded, turning towards him and running.
 
“I’m more interested to see if it can hurt you.” Chakravartin said smugly, reforming beneath where she had been stomping, and reaching out with all three Palace Hands- he wasn’t strong enough to hold her in place, but slow her down? Sure. His own ball of energy began forming for the fourth time in his actual hand.
 
Erika was stuck between them. Having already seen the result of Chakravartin’s blast, she turned her attention to Gamzee. Chakravartin’s face darkened. “Don’t you dare look down on me.” He growled, throwing.

798/800 words according to microsoft Word

Chakravartin partially defends against the attack by disassembling, but loses an eye and his left arm as a result of not being fast enough to transform completely. Gamzee then attacked Erika with Deuce Clubs, landing multiple hits. Chakravartin reassembles, and uses Spinning Death Palace Hands again, as well as making a Variation One: Initial Burst, Palace Taihou. Gamzee hits him on the back with his clubs, and Chakravartin punches him in the face.
 
Erika’s defense is high enough that the spinning swords aren’t dangerous, and tried to punch Chakravartin. Chakravartin ducks while disassembling, and Erika and Gamzee hit each other. The variation one Taihou is dropped onto both of their extended arms, injuring them, but not removing the limbs. Erika knocks away one of Chakravartin’s swords.

Gamzee charges Flower Bomb, and Chakravartin slows Erika down with three Palace Hands as he charges another Variation One Taihou, which he throws at Erika.

[Gamzee Makara]

This time around, Gamzee Makara was struck with what was perhaps one of the most profound thoughts to ever enter his head.

What if he played with his own balls?

A beautiful, naturally synchronized display of rainbow colored smoke uses Gamzee's body as a stripper pole, twirling and spinning with whimsical abandon. His drops the two juggling pins, deciding that it would be much more fun to play with balls instead. The smoke coiling around his hands writhes and condenses into two palm sized balls of smoke. The troll cracks a little grin before juggling his grenades in a lackadaisical fashion.

*papoof*

Twin flowers made entirely of smoke erupted at his opponents' feet, painting the stark white backdrop of the coliseum in glorious technicolor. The flowers pulse and vibrate, as if they were living things. Chakravartin and Erika are both stricken with apathy and a lethargic torpor. It felt as if their limbs were being pulled into the ground by the smoke itself. The golden boy could not even find the strength or desire to do much more than half limp, half liquefy. Despite this initial burst of blugh, Erika's resolve strengthens and she forces herself to dive out of the trap and... right into the god's golden bomb.

She is sent soaring through the air, admittedly caught off guard, but manages to correct herself before she ends up flat on her face like another certain loser combatant. Speaking of which, what the fuck was that weird little clown shit doing on the ground? Was he...playing in the dirt? Whatever, makes it all the more easier to end this pathetic excuse of a fight. While Chakravartin was busy goin' on a trip, the assassin makes a mad dash at the squatting fool, combat knife poised for the easy kill. As she and Gamzee come within spitting distance of each other, the boy springs up and-

"POCKET SAND!" He shouts as if it were a vicious war cry, and releases the handful of coliseum sand he had been gathering during his time being a clown on the ground. This trick proves more annoying than anything as the chalky substance only manages to force Erika to shut her eyes tight out of reflex. Her initial swing goes wide and Gamzee attempts a shoulder check against his aggressor, only managing to knock her back into a stumble. The High-Blood then uses the assassin's solid resilience as a springboard, kicking off of her back and bringing her to a kneeling position. He summons his juggling pins mid-air, causing a rain of sparkly sparkle shit to rain down on the girl. As moody as she was, she deserved a little funtime miracle shower or somethin' to brighten up her day. Gamzee lands in a sprint, almost tripping over his own feet as he does so. He homes in on the shiny magician kid, who had managed to flounder out of his flowery field trip.

"Motherfuckin' lazy ass motherfucking piece of fake lame ass fuckin'- AH SHIT!"

One of the saru's palace hands latched onto the alien's ankle right as he was about to pounce on his prey. For the fourth time in the past half hour, Gamzee found himself getting into a fight with the ground. For the fourth time in a row, he lost. Chakravartin rose shakily to his feet, glaring at his tormentor who in turn had struggled to a standing position. The latter shook his leg like a dog to get rid of the palace hand before yawning and sitting right back down on his ass.

The god stared in wonder at his supposed enemy, unable to contain his curiosity. "What is it, exactly, that you think you're doing?"

"M'tired," the troll responds, staring up at the ridiculously miraculous sky, "I guess maybe it's 'Cuz like, it just all up and happens to be that weird time of day where the sun ain't quite sinkin' but it is still kinda making everything look a little orange or pink or whatever the motherfuck have you. But all the shadows and shit bring some bitchin' black into the cake mix that is to be described by us as time. All these colors man, there has to be a word for it. For like, this time of day, you know?"

The boy god ponders this for only a moment before quickly coming to a conclusion, saying, "I believe what you are describing is called 'twilight' by most. Should I go ahead and kill you now, so you can rest? Or-"

"Not if I beat you to it, you shiny little shit!" Erika was once again sprinting towards a seemingly vulnerable Makara. She was not about to let a god steal her kill; the irony in that situation would not be lost on her.

800 words on Wordcounter.net

Gamzee used flower kabloom, which held varying results for each opponent. Erika had an easier time because of her transformation and whatnot.

Gamzee used an idiot's greatest commodity: Pocket Sand, to evade a charge from Erika

And then he tried and failed to attack the god dude

but then he got tired and began to question his desire to fight anymore during such a pretty time of evening.

And now Erika is tryna kill him again.

pleasure writing with you gais, can't wait to do it again~

[Karl Jak]

Face to Face
Dawn vs Chakravartin Wu Kong vs Gamzee 'Motherfuckin' Makara

While the troll waxed philosophical about the descent of the sun, Erika pressed in for the kill—her eyes wild and crazy as the thought of ending this inane engagement drove her ever forward.  Her gauntleted fist crashed into the side of Gamzee’s face, and the wave of force that came erupting from the steel sent the troll careening head-over-heels before crashing in a tangled heap on the sand.  Erika turned to the ailing Chakravaritin and clenched her hands into fists before moving to engage the god.

“Time to say farewell,” Erika rasped as she smashed a hand into the god’s malformed visage.  The young man stumbled backwards, his head lolling back as if it had given up all hope.  “Enjoy the twilight!”  She screamed as she leashed another hard haymaker.  Expecting her adversary to stand still and take it like a god, Erika cursed as Chakravaritin hopped backwards to avoid the attack.  Landing on shaky feet, he took a brief second to regain his bearings before launching himself forward into the teeth of the beast.

“Fine by me,” Erika muttered as she reached for her combat knife.  Before she had her opening, Chakravaritin’s body suddenly burst like a water ballon on hot pavement.  Descending into golden goo once again, the god’s liquid form splashed across the woman.  While most of the god slop washed over her and splashed against the sand, there was still plenty of it that clung to parts of her body like warm wax.

“Did he motherfuckin’ explode?!”  Gamzee’s voice caused Erika to twitch as she turned to confront the troll.  As the pair watched, the puddle of slop between them started to reform, albeit a little slower than normal.  “How many magic tricks does this motherfucker know?!”  Chakravaritin had formed, and his sights were set on Erika.  The god held out his arm and yanked it back.  For a brief moment, Erika felt something tug on her arms, but she clenched and it subsided.  Looking down, the woman saw that one of the globs stuck on her seemed to be emitting a little bit of heat.

“Not enough fucking tricks,” the woman growled as she grabbed the liquid metal, tore it from her arm, and crushed it in her gauntleted fist.  With a whoosh of air, Erika’s eyes and hair suddenly shifted back to how they had been a few moments prior.  While Gamzee seemed amused and half ready to make a comment about her silver hair turning back to blonde, Erika merely reached behind her back and produced a shotgun.

As Chakravaritin reached forward to try and manipulate the remaining globules, Erika pumped the gun and fired into his gut.  The impact lifted the god a few inches off the ground and caused his face to twist up in an expression of agony as the wounds began to seep golden liquid.  A second spray caught him alongside the chest and shoulders.  With his face clearly in agony, Chakravaritin’s body started to disassemble.

“No, you don’t, you little fuck,” Dawn growled as she dashed forward, put the gun against the god’s deforming head, and pulled the trigger.  The rest of the body collapsed backward into a puddle at the force of the shotgun blast.

“Well that was just cruel, he wasn’t a rapid dog.”

Gamzee had all of two seconds to burst out from the oncoming spray, but a few pieces of buckshot caught him in the shoulder and arm.  When he came to a stop, he stumbled and lost his balance.  More sand hit him in the face as his ragged breathing kicked up dust and yet more of the grainy particles.  “I could really go for a drink right now,” he groaned as he willed a deuce club into one of his hands.  At the sound of Erika’s gun pumping, he rolled onto his back and swung.  The club ate most of the buckshot, but there were bits and pieces that caught him along the face and chest.

“We’re done here,” Erika growled as she strode over to her fallen adversary.  She pumped her shotgun and looked down to see that the bloody-faced troll was… smiling?  “You fuck.”

Gamzee held up his other hand to reveal one of his swirling smoke grenades, causing Erika’s victorious expression to sour.  The woman turned and ran, but she only got a few yards before she heard something smack into the ground behind her and explode.

The blast carried Erika all the way into the wall of the sand pits, where she left a small indentation of her body against the solid concrete.  For a few moments, the assassin didn’t think she’d be able to will herself off the ground.  When she did, she saw that the other two combatants were gone.  Looking down, she noticed a small box at her feet with a sparky purple bow.

Carefully dropping to a knee, Erika picked up the box and removed the bow.  She discarded the top to reveal a box lined with purple velvet.  Inside the box was a hypodermic needle, a little letter, and a plastic phallus.  Erika clenched her teeth as she picked up the little note:

“You said something about wanting to suck a cock earlier.  Here’s your chance.”

[spoiler]
Dawn wins.

Dawn takes 6 points of Accumulated Damage (scrapes, bruises, etc)
Chakravaritin takes 11 points of Damage (Including the Minor Injury – Bad eye.  No matter how many times he tries to disassemble/reform, Chakravaritin’s one eye will not work.  This may be cured with Healing or a Medkit).
Gamzee takes 12 points of Damage (including the Minor Injury – Bum leg; Gamzee’s right leg and foot are gonna be a bit useless for him)

Dawn/Erika – The needle can be used to restore either 4 points or damage or 2 SP.  Take your pick and let me know.

Important: -- All of you are sent to Safehouse A.  Enjoy that morning after.
[/spoiler]

[Karl Jak]

Face to Face

Future Warrior vs Cell vs Archer

From their perspective spots on the island, the three primes felt the air thrum around them.  A moment later, they were standing on the sandy floor of the Colosseum.  A quick glance revealed clear indicators that a scrum had happened:  Fractured stone, torn up earth, and flecks of what seemed to be shiny yellow liquid clinging to various surfaces.  Even a half-scorched deuce club could be spotted a few yards away from the feet of the bio-android as he looked at the two other individuals in the Colosseum.  The human was unfamiliar, but the other one...

"Heh."

The voice of Karl Jak came sputtering out from concealed speakers in the giant, abandoned structure.  "Oh, how lovely.  A grudge match.  One of you will receive a prize, and two of you will head back to the island with a few bruises...

Word Limit: 800
Posts Per Player: 2
Time Limit: 20 hours
Random Elements: On


Post order is Future Warrior -- Cell -- Archer

[The Future Warrior]

One second, she'd been standing near the shore, looking back at Isaac and the flooded area. Then she blinked, feeling the air vibrate and shimmer, with a dull rumbling sound...and then she was gone. The smell of brine was replaced with the acrid tang of scorched earth. There was some kind of strange, gold liquid splattered all over the sandy ground and broken structures. The blue majin took it all in with a quick sweep, trying to get her bearings on what had just happened, and where she was, and...

...and...

The sudden voice of Karl Jak, and his announcement of a 'grudge match' drew her attention to the other two who had appeared. One of them was a human, someone she didn't recognize. The other one was... "Ah! Cell!" Immediately, both hands curled into fists, her easy, curious posture vanishing in an instant. Knees flexed and bent, ready to spring. "I knew I'd run into you again! I'm not running away again, this is where we're supposed to fight!"

"I have no idea what you're talkin' about, you sstrange little...blue...thing," Cell snapped back, but he was already obliging the fight with a ready posture, hands coming up in a clawed posture, knees bent and stance wide and low. Behind him, his tail whipped to and fro, needlepoint gleaming eerily. "But don't make thiss too easy for me. I could use ssome...excerccise before I drink you both."

Graowr wasn't wasting any more words on this. She rocketed forward, kicking up a cloud of sand in her wake. A blur of blue and black, covering several meters in the blink of an eye and charging straight at Cell. "I'm gonna deck you in the schnoz!"

"First off, I don't even have one of those." Cell backpedaled, with no small amount of quickness, both hands flashing to life with orbs of ki. "And second off: screw you." One hand came forward, then the second, Ki blasts hurtled toward the azure affront to Cell's appetite, looking to score a direct hit. Except they didn't.

A small explosion went off in mid air, as ki blast met ki blast, the former time patroller's gloved hand thrown out after tossing it. The other one sailed under her as she leaped up and over it, curling into a flip. One leg shot out, stretching like rubber as it curled back, flailing like a whip with the momentum of her flip and snapping forward to crack into the ground. The impact of her booted heel threw up a cloud of sand as it missed Cell by only a foot or so. "What the ffffff--" The bio-android was cut off in mid-curse. Mostly because of his tattoos electrocuting him, but also because of the sudden death grip on his throat from a gloved hand.

Pink eyes went wide, reptilian slits staring at the blue demon as she came hurtling in, pulling herself along on her outstretched arm. "She's really gonna hit me in the face." Cell had time to realize that before the diminutive hero slammed into him full force, shoulder-first. The wind was knocked out of him, leaving him staggered.

"SCREW..." She flipped forward with the force of her impact, both boots coming down on either shoulder of the imperfect creature's body and sending him face-first into the sandy floor. "...YOU!" She followed through with her momentum, spinning forward. The hand she hadn't grabbed him with came down in a blur, filled with an oscillating orb of angry, orange-gold ki, and discharged the energy at point-blank into the bio-android's face. The resulting explosion left him stunned, and let her flip back out of melee range almost scot free.

But Cell's tail had whipped up, gouging and stabbing at her, delivering three quick jabs at her torso, leaving neat, clean holes in her vest and torso. Not a drop of blood came, but from the way she grit her teeth it was clear it had hurt. "Come on, get up! I still need to actually punch you!" she shouted in challenge, holding up a clenched fist. "Don't tell me you're done yet!"

"Y'know...and here I was thinking thiss was going to be boring..." Cell hissed, slowly getting up to his feet. His face was scorched, and he definitely didn't look happy, but he didn't look all that injured either.

"HEY!" Another voice suddenly broke their focus. "You forget somebody?" They both turned to look to see the human holding a machine gun, aimed at them.

"...oh," Graowr said.

"...well," Cell followed up.

And then the human opened fire, sending both insectoid abomination and azure majin scrambling in opposite directions to avoid the hail of gunfire.

"Oh come on, that's not fair!" the bubblegum girl whined.

"Damn Omniphysics!" Cell screeched.

794 words, according to wordcounter.net

Breakdown:
-- Graowr used Burst Movement to close in
-- Cell used ki blast
-- Graowr used ki blast to counter
-- Graowr used elasticity/malleability to get the jump on Cell
-- Graowr used Energy Shot
-- Cell used Tail
-- Archer used MP 40 Submachine Gun

[Handsome Jack]

'Shit-shit-shit-shit-shit-shit!' I think frantically as I dash to avoid the veritable rain of bullets bearing down on me. It ain't enough that my face fucking stings like hell (thanks BITCH), but now I got Lames Bond trying to gun me down like a Mafia reject. Hell, once me and Winterfresh broke off our little date, the bastard didn't even have the decency to keep his weapon trained on HER! No, he just HAD to keep trying to take ME out. I mean, what? He got something against seven-foot tall, insectoid monsters or something?


Fortunately, the guy finally empties his magazines and gives me a moment of reprieve. I scan the battlefield, reptilian eyes narrowed as I search for Majin Eighteen. They immediately widen as I notice her quickly bearing down on me again, feet a blur as she deftly closes the gap between us. Shit is just NOT going my way today. But... the inklings of a plan are started to form and I throw my hands up to stall her, taking a step back.


“Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Hold up! Wait!” I frantically scream at her, to no avail. Fuck. Well, last ditch effort then...


“SSTOP!” I scream, and I finally seem to get through to her. Her eyes widen in curiousity and she literally halts right in mid-step. Good. Now for Double O Stereotype over there. I point a green finger in his direction as he finishes reloading his gun.

“You too! Hold up a ssec, wouldja? I got ssomething to ssay.”


And, you know what? The shit fucking works. For both of them! I'm a fucking genius, if I DO say so myself. But now I actually hafta say something, or I'm probably gonna be shitting bullets and bubblegum for the next week. And that's saying something considering I don't have an anus.


“Firsst off, before my Popss deccides to electrocute my as-ssertive sself: You guyss should definitely go buy ssome Brewnor Brand Bourbon. It'ss the choicce of Omniversse Network Newss sstar: Ron Burgundy. Remember, if it'ss good enough for Ron, it'ss too good for you.”


Ok. Their stares are starting to get REALLY uncomfortable. Acting like they've never had someone push a product in the middle of a fight before, or something. I continue, just so they don't decide to start attacking me again.


“Ssecondly: Hi. I'm Ccell. I don't think we've been properly introducced. And your are..?”


Ol' Blueberry Princess stomps her foot petulantly and glares at me. Adorable.


“You can call me Graowr, and I'm still upset with you over stealing from me! And being a big green evil bug man that eats people and their powers. Meanie!”


I sigh and put my hands up defensively. Not exactly sure WHERE she got her information from, but best to calm her down before the kid blows a gasket.


“Right right. My bad. Jusst got a little caught up in the game, you know? Anywho... pleassure to meet you, Graowr.”


I shift my gaze to Tuxedo Mask, who is a bit further away, and... well, if I had an eyebrow, I'd be raising it.


“Look, buddy,” the guy starts, flourishing his machine gun like anyone else would their hand while speaking, “As much as I'd LOVE to get in your little hippy, peace-time, let's-all-be-friends bullshit, Sterling Archer don't swing that way, comprende?”


“Oh. Well, nicce to meet you anyway, Misster Archer.”


I can visibly see the man's face drop when he realizes he actually gave me his real name. Shit is fucking priceless. Buuuut... now he looks a little pissed. I better hurry this up before his trigger finger gets itchy.


“Now that introductionss are out of the way-and no one introduces you to your perfect match like Oharmony, ssign up now for a free thirty day trial- We can get down to bussinesss.”


“Look. No one here wantss to hurt anyone elsse, right?”


Simultaneously they answer, “I do.” I ignore them

Sso, how about we ssettle thiss with a little game?”


Archer chuckles, “What kind of game? Because I sure as hell ain't playing strip poker with you. You're definitely not my type.”


He looks over at Blueberry and adds, “And I don't even know what the fuck YOU are. Though... I haven't slept with a blue woman before...”


“No no. It'ss more like... Three-Card Monty. Except... there'ss four of me.”


I kick my speed into overdrive as the words leave my beak. Instantaneously, there's four beautiful specimens of perfection in the ring, each lowered into a battle stance and ready to attack.


From my hiding place within an archway leading into the depths of the Colosseum, I chuckle softly and turn to walk further in.


“Ssuckerss.”

794 Words according to OpenOffice.
Archer finished using his MP 40 and has reloaded.
Cell used After Image to leave behind fakes while he “strategically withdraws” into the inside of the Colosseum.

[Sterling Archer]

Oh thank God. I’d take battling a couple of alien...things over wandering aimlessly on some island any day of the week. And in a Roman Colosseum? Hell. Yes.

My cerulean foe – Graw, or something? – and I froze at the insectoid man’s ploy, taking up defensive stances are we stood, surrounded and outnumbered. Luckily for me, the two of them seemed to be more intent on killing each other than me. I didn’t mind that per se, but being that my ankle was rigged to explode, I figured giving Syntech a show seemed wise.

“Hey, Gumby,” I called over to the stern-looking creature. Even her clothes looked to be composed more of clay than cloth. Weird. “You two have history, huh?”

A second or so passed before the blue woman realized I had addressed her. “Um...yes,” she replied, keeping an eye on the menacing duplicates encircling us. The two nearest her had taken to rude gestures, one licking at his beak creepily while flipping the bird, and the other alternating between crotch-chopping and wagging his gross bug-like rear at her.

“Well, why don’t you and I be friends?” I inquired, letting my submachine gun hang around my waist by the shoulder strap. “As an act of good will, I’ll teach you something.” I drew my pistol, taking careful aim at the Cell closest me. “Monte is all about slight of hand. Which means at least one of these is fake.” With that I fired a few quick shots, a smirk crossing my face as the trio of bullets banished the target. My gambit had paid off, at least for the moment.

“Oh!” Graw replied with childlike innocence. “That makes sense! They’re not moving, after all.” She lifted a hand and generated a ball of brilliant light between her stubby fingers before flinging it at one of the jeering duplicates on her end, which predictably vanished. “Thanks!”

Before I could reply, the remainder of the mirror-images vanished, leaving not a single Cell behind. Huh. Maybe I hadn’t been 100% correct, but a B+ wasn’t bad, right? I could ponder the thought for but a few seconds before a blue blur began to rapidly approach, its taffy-like arm stretching unnaturally and slamming a fist into my chiseled jaw, knocking me onto my ass. “Hey, I thought we were friends!” I exclaimed, spitting a glob of bloody saliva and getting to my feet. “Dick move. Do you always pummel your friends?”

Graw thought for a moment. “Sometimes?”

As the gummy gal charged once more, I was forced into a backward stumble. Though I stood at least a foot taller than her and she seemed to be built like an anorexia-addled tween, my jaw felt more like it had been thwacked by a baseball bat than a tiny fist. I let my pistol drop into the dirt and reached for my pocket as I ducked a second swing, tugging Woodhouse’s sawn-off free and firing a blast of buckshot at her midsection. Despite the hellish spray of burning agony, the assault seemed only to afford me a second of reprieve before she charged forward once more, quite undeterred. Another of her signature energy balls appeared in her tiny hand almost instantly, unleashed not a second later as I brought an arm up in a doomed attempt to block. I tumbled backward as it detonated, the acrid smell of burning wool meeting my nostrils as the blast burnt a hole through my turtleneck. Oh, and my skin. Also that.

As luck would have it, our third combatant chose this opportunity to emerge once more. The chitin-clad clod appeared from my periphery, just after a barrage of his own energy bolts knocked Graw a few meters away, flung like a rag doll. He immediately turned toward me, cackling as he dove upon my supine body and pinned my arms to the ground. “You look as delicciouss as a bowl of Palpatine Puffss,” he hissed, his tail swaying behind him like a cobra ready to strike. “Part of a balancced breakfasst.”

“Ugh, God you’re gross,” I grunted, struggling against his grip. “Keep that facehugger tail away from me.” In a desperate show of strength I rocked backward, quickly pulling my legs from beneath the bugman and into a crouch, kicking hard against his armored thorax.

“Fuck!” he exclaimed, only to twitch as electricity singed his shell. The momentary pause loosened his grip and gave me all the time I needed to reach back and grab the discarded juggling pin, bringing the ruined implement hard across his beaked mug. He tumbled backward, uttering a string of more PG cursewords.

I scrambled to my feet, heaving labored breaths. Adrenaline poured through my veins like liquid fire as I raised my club, roaring toward the heavens.

“ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?”

800 words according to Wordcounter.net.

Archer used Walther PPK/S and Groawr used an energy blast to pop a couple of the after-images before the others timed out.
Graowr used a stretchy Malleability punch and drew some blood. Archer shotgunned her in the chest but then got his own explodey blast in the midsection, courtesy of a ki blast.
Cell appeared and used some ki blasts of his own, then threatened to drink Archer.
Archer claimed Gamzee's pin and gave Cell a good whack across the face.

[The Future Warrior]

A hail of energy blasts pelted her in the side and she went tumbling into the sand, end over end. It didn't really hurt much (nowhere near as bad as the blast from that gun-thing the human had shot her with, anyway) but it was enough to completely blindside her. "Dang it!" She tumbled and rolled until she could manage to hop back up to her feet, landing in a crouch. One hand wrapped around her midsection in mild discomfort, the other bracing herself on the ground.

"This is getting good!" She was back to her full stature and charging right back in without even stopping for a breath she didn't need. Archer was still standing there after knocking Cell for a loop, pilfered club raised high in the air. It left him wide open for a blur of azure to catch him full on. Sailing right over his shoulder, one arm whipped out and coiled around his head and face, wrapping once, twice, thrice! "Gotcha!" she shouted, entirely too cheerfully. Her momentum carried her forward, and she hit the ground running, to to speak.

Three quick, sliding steps across the grit-covered floor and she stopped, skidding another handful of feet and put all her might behind drawing in her wound-up arm. It snapped taut like a rubberband, yanking the suited agent off his feet. Uncoiling her arm, sending him to spinning, she hurled him over her shoulder, right at the recovering Cell. The green bug-man had time to stagger to his feet, recognize what was coming and utter a quick "Oh, damn it..." before the full weight of the human missile crashed into him, sending them both tumbling into a heap amid a pile of dust.

She didn't charge right back in, this time Rather, both hands went out to her sides. "Alright, time to bring some real damage!" Her voice was loud, and the implied threat cut through the groggy haze of impact both her opponents suffered through. Her arms came together, wrists hitting with a soft thwap as she cupped her hands together, palms facing each other.

"Okay...not sure what that was about, but come on, I'd just gotten away from the walking sales bug here!" Archer complained, disentangling himself from the wandering limbs and drinking appendage of the perfection-starved insect-man.

A green fist to the jaw shut the agent up, as Cell leaped out of the fray. His eyes were wide and keenly focused on the majin down below, well aware what she was up to. "Sspare me the complaintss, will ya?!" he hissed at the human as he landed, alighting on the edge of the stairs. "Jusst sstop blueberry over there from doing what she'ss doing!"

The only response was the agent dashing off to one side, tumbling into a diving roll and coming up with his pistol in hand, quickly cracking off a volley of four shots at Graowr. And each one went right through her, as her image flickered out.

This left both bio-android and secret agent to stare in a moment of confusion and dawning realization. And in unison, both of them spoke up. "Oh."

"KA...ME...HA...ME..."

"What was that about a turtle?!" Archer spun around just in time to see the blue girl holding a ball of irritatingly bright, blue-white light in her hands, and sporting a manic, excited grin.

"HAAAA!" With one final shout, she thrust both hands forward, the gathered energy exploding into a solid beam. With a noise like thunder in the distance, it roared across the arena, directly at the secret agent.

"OH COME ON!" was all he could shout, as he desperately dove for cover, and the ensuing explosion filled the air with blue-tinged smoke.

"Yeah! Got 'em!" Graowr said excitedly, with a fist pump.

"Yeah. You sure got 'em alright." A voice spoke up, from just behind her. And immediately, something crashed into the back of her head, sending her reeling. It was followed up by a second blow, hitting her in the side, right where the ribs would have been. Another, and another, crashing down in a blindingly quick series of blows, battering and buffeting her under a nonstop onslaught. Something sharp and wickedly fast snaked around her vision, grasping her around the neck and hauling her off the ground, turning her about to face the leering visage of Cell.

"Protip: don't turn your back on a 'big evil bug'," he said mockingly, before lifting both hands to hover just shy of touching her. They filled with the golden glow of ki, his beak parting in something resembling a smile. Blast after blast erupted out, pelting and barraging the blue girl from point blank range. Finally, he let go with his tail, as she was knocked flying, rolling into the dirt and sand.

800 words exactly, according to wordcounter.net

Breakdown:
-- Graowr used stretchy malleability powers to throw Archer into Cell
-- Archer used Walther PPK/S, revealing Graowr had mimicked Cell's After Image
-- Graowr used a (fully-charged) Kamehameha Wave on Archer
-- Cell unloaded on Graowr with a good ol' Wolf Fang Fist
-- After grabbing her with his tail, Cell unloaded with a barrage of Rapid Fire Ki Blasts on Graowr

[Handsome Jack]

Here's the situation in a nutshell. I had the perfect plan: hide out of sight while these two losers murdered each other. Damn, it was a good plan... And, just like I thought, as soon as they took out my After-Images, they turned on each other. And that's when everything went south fast. As soon as they started clashing, my dumb-ass just HAD to rush on out and join the fray. So, instead of attacking one wounded fighter, I'm stuck fighting them both at the same time. Granted, they're also fighting each other, but this is NOT the ideal situation I wished to find myself in.

Even more infuriating is that I didn't even know WHY I gave up my hiding place to rejoin the battle. It was almost like some... thing took over my mind and made me do it. But that's just crazy! No way that could ever happen, right? Probably just my damn Saiyan blood making me lust after battle. THANKS Vegeta-bama!

Of course, now that I'm back in it, I'm pleasantly surprised to see that... Hell, I ain't doing too bad. While they both hit a lot harder than I do (dirty assholes!), and the bitch can take a hit better than I can, and dude-bitch has some skill with his guns, I'm out-running them three ways from Tuesday. Whatever the fuck THAT means.

So, now I got Ms. Blue Waffle (do NOT look that up) sizzling on the ground a goodly distance away and Young Bill Clinton (except with MORE STDs) trying to shake off a bad case of the 'shit just got exploded in your face'ings. I'm sitting so pretty now that it'd be a shame(and inevitable) if something happened to ruin this for me. Like, I dunno, some kinda shitty deux ex machina where Archer suddenly appears behind me and threatens me with a gun while spitting a cheesy one-liner. THAT would suck.

“Did SOMEONE call an exterminator?” I hear from behind me. Oh... goddammit. I turn and find myself staring down the barrel of a sawn-off shotgun. As Sterling's finger begins to press the trigger...

“Whoa whoa! Wait! Iss that a Ccentury Arms JW-Two Thoussand Coach Twelve-Gauge Sside-By-Sside Shotgun, now available at a Karl-Mart near you? That iss ssick as h-heck, dude! Alsso, not good for me!”

Archer grins and I catch his eyes glance at something behind me. I turn and fuck me again, it's Graowr (that shit is STILL hard to pronounce), chargin' up her lazor again. Which reminds me, when the FUCK did she learn THAT shit? Who the fuck is she anyway?

“Oh... ALSSO not good for me!”

Simultaneously the two fire and I do the only thing I can fucking think of in this situation. I jump. I'm about three meters up when the beam of energy collides with the explosion of pellets and (because fucking Omniphysics, that's why!) they make an even bigger explosion. I'm really starting to get the suspicion that Omni is, in fact, Michael Bay.

Anywho, back to the explosion. Because it's super dramatic and definitely not a cop-out, the fireball of death (as I like to call it) sends all three of us careening to perfectly-evenly-distanced-away-from-each-other sides of the Colosseum. Also, it hurts like hell. While I'm busy suppressing my natural urge to scream expletives like a twelve-year-old playing a First-Person-Shooter, I hear Archer mutter something about how expensive his suit is and how much it's going to cost to get it drycleaned. As for Groawr? Hell, I dunno. She's basically a kid. She's probably cryi- Oh wait. Yeah. She totally is. HAHAHAHA!

602 Words according to Open Office.
Archer used Double-Barreled Sawn-Off Shotgun dealy.
Grwaraoro used Kamehameha.
Cell used really shitty writing

[Sterling Archer]

“So,” I began, breathing hard as I faced off against my bizarre adversaries in a cosmic Mexican standoff. I glanced at Graw, “Stretchy arms, death ray,” then to Cell, “mirages, and spikey siphon tail. And both of you have magic spirit explosives. Or whatever.” I sighed. “And here I thought guns would give me an advantage.” I flipped open the breech of my shotty and emptied the spent casings before replacing them with a pair of fresh shells from my knee pocket. “That’s usually how these things go.”

“Yess, well, I thought that hiding from you two sshmuckss wass a good idea,” Cell sneered, the words ‘Bachelor Chow; Now With Flavor!’ flashing on his chestplate. “Neither of our planss have worked.”

“Well,” I said, pocketing my sawed-off and crossing my arms over my chest. “Plan B, then.” Before either clayface or the overgrown roach could hope to reply, I had taken up the submachine gun dangling around my waist, sprinting toward Cell and spraying a salvo of lead wildly at the two of them like a drunken Rambo. The comparison that was not entirely inaccurate. “SUPPRESSING FIRE!”

I ignored Graw for the moment, racing full-tilt toward the beaked bastard, milking the scant spare seconds that my spray-and-pray method had afforded me to close the gap. Before I could get far, the insectoid’s fists began to emit a ghoulish glow. He quickly brought them up in a blocking stance, knocking away the barrage in a poor approximation of Wonder Woman. “Aw, come on!” I cried as my magazines ran dry. “That’s such bullshit!”

A raspy cackle came as Cell’s response, twin orbs flickering to life in his palms. “Come and get me, Bourne Inadequacy!”

Before I could effectively apply fist to freakish face, the rubbery blue arm of a certain neglected wintergreen warrior shot past me, slamming straight into Cell’s soon-to-be-flatter visage. I could revel in his throes of pain for only half an instant as the appendage immediately hooked backward, coiling itself around my neck.

“Hah!” the stretchy lass whooped as Cell doubled over in pain. “Right in the schnoz! And I got shooty-bullet-man. A two-fer!”

I grimaced as my vision began to blur, choking as Graw’s grip tightened around my throat. Not exactly the best position to be in, admittedly. This time, however, I wouldn’t fall for the same trick. I reached over my shoulder and grabbed tightly onto the ensnaring appendage. “Not...this time...you...bubblegum bitch!”

As she began to reel-in her taffy tentacle, I dropped my stance, digging my fingers into her resilient flesh and straining against her grip. Despite my body’s protest I lurched ahead, pulling the putty-like arm tight against my shoulder as tears streamed from my eyes. A nigh-imperceptible release in tension and a sudden ‘oh!' queued my response as I turned on my heel and drove forward and downward onto one knee with the last of my strength. Seconds later, Graw’s lithe form sailed over my head and across the amphitheater. Ancient iron bars snapped like twigs as she crashed through the Colosseum gate, noodly appendage slipping away with her. “Okay,” I wheezed, drawing rapid breaths. “That should keep you occupied.”

“Almosst forgot your pressent...”

I spun on the spot, quickdrawing the pistol from my shoulder harness and pulling the trigger as Cell neared. “God dammit,” I spat as the hammer clicking uselessly against nothingness. I scrambled to drop the magazine and pull a replacement from my pocket, though I instead found myself airborne as a beach ball sized orb of spirit-bullshit-energy detonated against my chest. I tumbled clumsily along the dirt floor of the arena, coming to a stop against the stone wall. Blood dribbled fresh from my chest wounds, adhering my sweater to the skin in the most disgusting way possible.

“Mr. Archer,” Cell began, stalking toward me with glee in his pinkish eyes. “You perssisst in defying my effortss to provide an amussing death for you.”

“I actually have some thoughts on that,” I retorted defiantly, awkwardly tugging the sawed-off from my pocket. My back was –literally- against the wall, but I’d be damned if I went down so early to a walking billboard-bug. I pulled back the hammer, taking aim at the roach’s chest.

“Yeah, no,” the insectoid muttered, effortlessly flinging a searing orb of bullshit at the firearm. The blast, though small, shook the gun from my grasp. “Not this time.”

A pause.

“Uh oh,” I muttered, bringing my arms up reflexively. It wouldn’t be doing me much good, though it was better than nothing.

“’Uh oh’ iss right, you wannabe Ethan Hunt!” Cell jeered, cocking back his fist. “Wait.” He paused, noting the change in my expression. “...Sshe’ss behind me, issn’t sshe?”

“Uh huh.”

“Aw, heck,” the roach pseudo-cursed as a volley of energy shots screamed toward us.

799 words, according to Wordcounter.net

Archer talked some shit and then machinegunned to distract.
Cell used Deflection to avoid being swiss-cheesed, then tried to use a Ki Blast.
Graowr socked Cell in the face and then tried to strangle/throw Archer.
Archer threw her off, at the cost of near-asphyxia.
Cell hit Archer with a Ki Blast and then a smaller Ki Blast.
Archer attempted to shotgun, but it failed.
Graowr threw a volley of Energy Shots to wrap it up.

Also, as a general note in case anyone thinks I'm an idiot. Archer's not a good listener, so he calls Graowr 'Graw'. Also, I know majin are magical constructs and Cell is a bio-android, but to Archer they just look like aliens.

[Karl Jak]

Face to Face

Archer vs Cell vs Future Warrior

 
The second colosseum fight had gone from fists and feet to bullets and blasts of energy.  So long as there was violence to behold, the audience didn’t mind what form it took.
 
With the exception of “Graw”—the folks at Syntech had experienced a small victory upon hearing the secret agent man pronounce the excitable blue girl’s name enough times to get it pronounced right—the other two fighters were on the ground.  Tiny pillars of gray smoke wafted upon from scorch marks on Cell’s body as the bio-android took a few long moments to ponder the meaning of life.
 
Favoring one of his legs, Sterling Archer made it to a standing position and checked the condition of his sidearm.  Once he verified that it hadn’t been rendered inoperable following his highspeed collision with the solid brick wall (lol Omniphysics?), the man tried to track down the location of the little blue girl.
 
Was she a girl?  A woman?  Race of midgets?  Magical, alien midgets?
 
Archer smiled faintly at the level of nonsense, but the momentary mirth melted away with the streak of blue came rushing through the layer of haze and tried to spear him through the wall.  With the grace of a handicapped ostrich, he threw himself to the ground as the Future Warrior crashed straight through the thick stone and into the interior of the colosseum, causing the section of seats to sag downward.
 
Before he could celebrate, the man felt something cold and slimy wrap around his neck.
 
“Got you!”  Cell boomed as he used his tail to fling the man up off his feet and down into the solid earthen floor of the arena.  “I’m going to treat you so poorly but don’t fret,” Cell plucked Archer up for another slam before finishing his pitch.  “Once you are broken and destitute, you’ll be able to find a warm and loving home in Shang Tsung’s Orphanage and Old Folk’s Home – the finest establishment for the needy in all of the Pale Moors!”
 
Before he could try to go for three, Cell ate a bullet to the throat.  With a chittering screech, he let go of Archer and clawed at his neck for the projectile buried in his green flesh.  After tearing it free, he took a step forward and found himself staring down the barrel of a sawed-off shotgun.
 
“Shop smart, shop S-Mart,” Sterling Archer said with a smile before pulling the trigger and blowing off half of Cell’s face.
 
With the bio-android twitching on the ground, Archer came back to his feet and turned just in time to fire the second shell before the majin lunged at him.  The girl-creature absorbed the blast and crashed into the man, taking him down to the ground with enough force to drive the air from his lungs and knock the shotgun from his grip.  Without skipping a beat, Graowr smashed her little blue fist into Archer’s face.  The blow fractured the man’s cheekbone and sent the back of his skull thudding against the sand-coated floor of the arena.
 
A second blast like that would leave him concussed.
 
As the maijin reeled back for another crippling strike, Archer grabbed for his pistol.  His vision was obscured by the tiny blue meteor coming down at his face, but he still managed to find the trigger.  Metaphorical stars erupted in front of his eyes as literal bullets erupted from the gun.  Three bullets spat out from the Walter PPK, catching the Future Warrior in the side of the face.  The girl rolled off of the secret agent and cradled the side of her head.  Her own vision seemed a little off as she tried to shake the haze.
 
“Sss’nothing persssonal,” Archer slurred as he rolled onto his elbow and bashed the alien girl in the face with the butt of his pistol until she stopped trying to lift herself off the ground.
 
When she finally went still on the floor of the Colosseum, her body vanished in a swirl of lights.  The same little white fireflies danced around Archer’s prone form as well, and after a brief moment, he was lying on the floor of a bunker with a small present on his lap.
 
“Oh, wonderful,” he muttered as he flipped open the top to reveal a stick of dynamite and what seemed to be an autographed picture of some black-haired ninja guy.  A post-it note read ‘A present for my hero, ~KJ’ and had what seemed to be a lipstick kiss on it.  “Yea, this totally makes up for the concussions.”  Archer muttered as he let his head gingerly fall back to the floor.
 
[spoiler]
Archer wins the fight and gets a stick of Dynamite as a prize.  This does not count as an item pickup for the purpose of end-game rewards.
 
Archer takes 6 points of Accumulated Damage (Includes Minor Injury – Concussion; Google it.)
Future Warrior takes 7 points of Accumulated Damage
Cell Takes 8 points of Accumulated Damage (Includes Minor Injury – No fucking right eye; Ouch)
 
These fights are becoming increasingly infuriating to judge.
 
All of you are returned to… Safehouse C.  All of you are on a 24 hour cooldown [/spoiler]

[Karl Jak]

Face to Face
Shinmen Takezo vs Deadpool vs Jak Mar

Karl and the people in the producer's suite sat back as the next trio was culled to compete in the Colosseum.  The Executive Producer, with a wide grin on his face, flashed one of his update personnel to grab him another cup of wine.  Once the not-slave had skittered away, Karl turned and smiled at the screen.

"Oh, this had to happen sooner or later."

***

The three warriors shook their heads to clear away the teleportation haze and glanced around.  Blood stains could be spotted throughout the place, and perhaps more unsettling, there was nearly four shades of the stuff splattered on the sand and stone.  Fissures adorned the walls of the pit, and a portion of the seating seemed to be sagging, as if it was pull of invisible viewers.

"Welcome to the Colosseum!"  Karl Jak declared from speakers throughout the installation.  "The winner of this bout receives a prize.  I hope you have fun."

Word Limit: 800
Posts Per Player: 2
Time Limit: 20 hours
Random Elements: On

Post order is Shin - Jak - Deadpool

[Oleander]

The moment Takezo appears in the Colosseum, his body burns with anticipation and glee. His recovery time was absolutely stunning, but it was all thanks to the man's absolute bloodlust. As the others were looking around, the swordsman was already on the move, racing across the sandy ground to fuck up the first person he saw.

It just so happens the first person he saw was a man who stuck out like a sore thumb, in part thanks to his bright red... what was that, some sort of pajama suit? The eyes did not even look like they should see, and there was no mouth... so weird. What Takezo DID notice as he made the trip was the man's swords - which only made him an even bigger target.

During the wild dash, he twisted the sheath of his sword upside down and less than a moment before he would collide with Deadpool, he swiftly grabbed the hilt of the sword and unleashed a powerful first strike across the man's chest. The surprise attack caught Deadpool off guard, ruining the chest of his brilliant suit as the blade cut upwards across his chest.

The edge of the sword did not cut near as deep as Takezo expected, this swordsman in red had unusually tough skin. That, and his blood stained suit hardly looked any different... how saddening, Takezo always enjoyed the slow spread of the crimson stain.

Just as he was about to capitalize on the surprise strike, his left shoulder jolted and began to burn. Jak had taken the swordsman's distraction and used it to ready his Blaster. Deadpool took the distraction to dash out of Takezo's reach to calibrate himself and ready his own weapons. The burning of his chest with every breath was definitely a pain in the ass.

Takezo used Iaido First Strike on Deadpool.
Jak Mar used Blaster on Takezo.

Iaido: First Strike (300)
Requires: Debuff
This technique can only be used once per encounter, as it requires drawing and immediately attacking in one fluid motion to catch an opponent off guard. Due to it relying on surprise, those with Foresight are immune, as they usually have the ability to predict this type of attack.

Takezo's first strike seeks to put a foe at a disadvantage. He does this by going for a vital slash, right across the chest. This grievous wound not only deals heavy bleed damage to those with low defenses, but hampers the victim's breath, due to each expansion of their chest causing extraordinary pain. A victim that cannot breath cannot properly move. If Takezo lands his Iaido: First Strike, the victim takes three seconds of heavy bleed damage (if DEF is 2 lower than Takezo's ATK; otherwise, reduce to mild) and suffers a slight reduction to speed (this occurs whether or not the bleed damage is severe or mild.)

[Jak Mar]

He was this close to making it to Tony and his friends. This freaking close. Jak even punched the ground in frustration, a shock of eco coming from his body. A small hole grew larger as the eco warrior’s fist increased the size. He wasn’t able to grunt in frustration as the man disappeared from sight and reappeared in Karl Jak’s form of “culling” the competition.

DA’15 and Hero’s Graveyard memories plagued him, as he stared over the Colosseum. This time, however, Jak didn’t face Dante, but a threat much worse, Deadpool, and a samurai like man he’d never seen before.

Karl screamed something over the microphone and almost appeared to smirk “Oh, this should be interesting.”  Watching over the fights with glee, it was like he got a kick over people killing each other for fun. Karl held the microphone mocking the contestants  “Whoever wins this  may get a prize.”


But there was no time for jeering as Shinman hurled his words and slashed the red-suited man unmercifully, leaving a giant cut on the man in question. Deadpool pointed to himself and cursed the samurai’s apparent quickness.

Jak, making sure he wasn’t forgotten in this fight flipped his blaster and caught it in his hands, loaded it and aimed at the swordsman, aiming right for his shoulder blade, hitting its mark. The samurai was shocked by this and by the stinging in his shoulder, and wasn’t expecting the eco warrior to interrupt his scuffle with the mercenary. Not waiting, the knife eared anti-hero growled and loaded another blaster shot to the other shoulder blade. It was better to keep his distance in case anyone tried to attack him on command.

Deadpool ran at the long eared hero and grunted “What? Did you miss me, Jak Mar? DA 15’ sure can irritate a person, can’t it?”  Jak didn’t respond to Deadpool’s witty comments and frowned, shooting at Deadpool before using the gun as a ramming rod to slam it against the mercenary’s cheek.

“What, can’t take jokes, Mar?” Deadpool trying to mock the eco warrior with his mouth

It’s when the samurai interrupted Deadpool’s banter to try to annoy Jak and the mercenary clashed with the samurai’s swords with his own.

“HEY! That’s not fair…” The mercenary growled

Jak finally muttered something as he seemed too quiet. “All’s fair in the Abyss” as the eco warrior used the distraction of the samurai to his advantage.

A few shots pelted the big mouthed man named Deadpool and the samurai as Jak’s master acrobatic skills and athletic skills mixed into one, he looking like a blur.

This forced the two to eye Mar from where he was standing, but anybody who would rush him would quickly find out why it was bad to do so.

Jak’s foot aimed for Deadpool’s leg.  He intended to trip the man. As soon as the mercenary ran at him, Jak jumped and a metal boot kicked the red-suited man flying to the air into a juggle like move. In an almost endless juggle, Jak noticed the Shinman trying to react to his attack and using Deadpool like a mercenary missile, He slammed the mouthy man into the samurai, the two colliding like a car crash on a bad day.

“Holy shit, what WAS That?”

The long eared anti-hero soon retaliated with a Colosseum- piercing ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!”

The colosseum shook with fearsome energy as the beast had become stronger and faster.  

Dark Jak’s horns, long fingernails and beastly like hair were not the only physical changes to the eco warrior.  Lightning poured out of the slightly darker version of Jak  A katana and a sword clashed with Dark Jak’s claws as he held steady on the two warriors, pushing back against both of them, claws vs sword battle.

Here's what Jak did summed up:
Jak used his Blaster
Deadpool taunted Jak
Shinman slashed Deadpool's chest
Deadpool uses Katanas to clash with Shinman's sword.
Jak shoots a few more shots of his Blaster at Deadpool and Shinman
Jak kicks Deadpool in the air with his Juggling move and uses him as a flying missile slamming him on top of Shinman as he tries to attack Jak
After they get up, Jak uses Tier 1 Powerup: Dark Jak
ATK: 4 +2=5

DEF: 2 +1=3 or 
SPD: 3+ 2=5
TEC: 3+ 1= 4