Skeletor vs Ash Williams/Kelly MacAryn OOC thread (Assault on Darkshire)

[Ezrihel]

Random Elements Results

[spoiler]

2: Both Super Attacks go through and deal full damage.

[/spoiler]

[Kelly MacAryn]

Skeletor, that was one hell of a post.

[Kelly MacAryn]

Which means that Ash is up.

[Skeletor]

cripes, just realized I forgot this in my quote at the bottom of the post:

1/3 SP remaining (Panthor was only active for that post, not for the whole round)

[Kelly MacAryn]

Just a quick reminder for Ash, the round ends tomorrow morning.

Skeletor and I have both posted.

[Ezrihel]

Round Two will end on February 9th at 12PM EST, and grading will officially begin. Ash Williams has until then to either:

A) Call and post
or
B) Request a time extension.

Ash, you my request an extension by either posting your circumstance in this thread, or via a PM to me if it is of a more personal nature.

[Ash Williams]

Calling for my post.

[Ezrihel]

Round Two Results

[spoiler]

Advice to Ash: You suffered this round mainly because of several broken sentences and strange flow. I understand what you're trying to say, however you should work on your flow. At times it looks like you looked up a mundane word then replaced it with a synonym. While it's always good to vary your vocabulary, you should make sure that the words you use fit the context of your sentences. Always make certain that you read the definitions of the words you use so that you can avoid changing the entire flow and sound of your work. If you are unsure of how to adjust your flow, or if you don't know how to tell if your flow is ...  flowy, just read your writing out loud and see if that helps out any.

I've also noted that quite a few of your statements could be broken up into smaller sentences. While run-ons are excusable in dialog, it drastically stalls the pace of your post and can deeply hurt your score in a quick paced fight for that exact reason. If your statement contains two or more independent clauses use a full stop instead of a comma to break them up. If two independent clauses are related, you may instead use a semicolon(link) to separate them.

Also in paragraph three, sentence five, you stopped mid-sentence. Try to look back over your work so you can avoid something like that happening again.

Advice to Kelly and Sage: You're both great writers, and as you both know I greatly enjoy your work, however you could do to work on your scale a good bit more. Right now, it doesn't feel like a grueling fight to the death, it doesn't feel epic and like the defense of Darkshire may very well be riding on this battle. While I'm starting to get the feeling of "oh shit this is harder than I thought it would be" from Skeletor, so far neither of you have really represented the gravity of this fight. Without the intro post, I wouldn't know that a war was really raging above ground. Try to describe the sounds and feeling of things more as well, as it will go a long way to helping out all of your scores.

Aside from those things, great job so far guys! This is a really awesome fight!
[/spoiler]

[Kelly MacAryn]

Round 3.

Calling.

[Kelly MacAryn]

And posted!

*sits back to watch*

[Kelly MacAryn]

I've dropped by the quick-questions thread, but I figure I'll ask here as well for an official answer - am I allowed to provide Ash with editorial assistance? (grammar and tense corrections, sentence structure and the like).

Edit: Mark has weighed  in on this with an affirmative, so I'm going to go ahead and put my little red pen to work. I'm going to request that Ash save an unedited draft, however, in case our judge disagrees.

[Ash Williams]

Calling for my final post of the fight.

[Kelly MacAryn]

Only one post remains. Bring us home, Skeletor!

[Skeletor]

Thus it has come to pass.

Hopefully I didn't break any rules with how I handled the Super attack at the end. It was the last post and I knew Kelly didn't have anything to block it with.

GREAT FIGHT EVERYBODY!

[Ash Williams]

It's been an awesome first pvp experience I had. You both did fantastic posts.

[Kelly MacAryn]

Round 3 complete! Awesome fight guys! It's been a genuine pleasure writing with you both.

(Don't know if this matters, but I personally have no objection to what Skeletor did with the super-attack at the end)

[Ezrihel]

Final results!
http://i.imgur.com/Tk6JNVW.png

Kelly/Ash combined score 160
Skeletor score(with desperation bonus(1.5x)): 158.25

It was really close guys. Really damn close. You all did an amazing job!

Now, if you all would like to discuss how to finish the thread, feel free. Ash is the least torn to shreds right now, but you're all still buried in the cave in. What you decide to do with our punny overlord of evil is up to your all's discretion.


And it's all good. It's a collabrative writing site, so yeah, communicate, work together, proof each other's posts.

[Kelly MacAryn]

We Won! I... uh....

....




*whew* Now that I've got that out of my system: I see a couple of good ways too do this. None of them end well for Skeletor, but that's because I'm a bloodthirsty monster  :yay: . 

In all seriousness though, he set up a potential brutal riff on a Saturday Morning Cartoon ending with his last post. My favorite version would have Skeletor claw his way out of the rubble, barely alive, only to run into 'Ro-Man' (Atelos) who cuts him down with a pithy remark.

"Curse... you... Ro-man... *Pleh. Is the Ded.*"  

Also, simply because his last post was AMAZING, I think Skeletor should get to write it. 

After that, Ash and/or I could handle our characters getting out of the cave-in, possibly with the help of our surviving minio- er, that is, valiant soldiers of Darkshire.

[Skeletor]

GOOD FIGHT EVERYBODY!


Sorry to get so close to killing you Kelly that you can't really do much in the rest of the fight. I was trying to see if I could get a kill out of this, but alas it was not to be...

I will be able to write something tomorrow I think, and I kind of like Kelly's idea of Atelos finishing me off. I have some slight reservations that getting killed by Atelos will mean that Skeletor will fixate on Darkshire more than I want, but I think I can use the death to at least get Skeletor to spend some time licking his wounds before he will try anything new.

Thanks again to Ezzy for all the work you've been putting into the judging and general running of this event! You the best!

Great writing with all of you, if anyone ever want's a venegeful Skeletor to make their plot more interesting, let me know!

[Kelly MacAryn]

If you're genuinely worried that doing it that way might spoil Skeletor for you, then we can certainly come up with something else - the loss of the Overlord of Evil would be a tragedy for us all.

As for the horrible beating I've recieved, after taking two super-attacks, I consider myself to have gotten off light. Besides, this fight has been a great experience, and I think writing with you has actually forced me to improve. So thanks for that.

I'd also just like to put it out there that Ash has been a great writing-partner throughout this whole thing. I literally couldn't have done it without him.