Official Move Approval IV

[Beta Ray Bill]

The Scarebeast: Tier one power-up (1000 OM)

If someone or something manages to anger Scarecrow to his limit, you may have the misfortune to meet the Scarebeast. When Scarecrow turns into this monster he grows to 9 feet tall. Talons and fangs form on his body. He grows large and resembles a monster and scarecrow.  

ATK: + 2
DEF: + 2
SPD: +1
TEC: + 0

[Summer]

Consume (Physical) (300): The Unending lunges forward, skeletal head gnashing with its jagged fangs. Broken and uneven from the elements weathered, they do not leave a clean gash. Rather, the fragmented canines tear through flesh, and anything that is rent from the prey is swallowed whole by the beast, feeding and energizing it.

Consume: What exactly do you mean by feeding and energizing it? Is that just for fodder or do you mean it to be a heal or something?

All others are approved.

Restores some of its energy, like a morbid cup of coffee.

[Revan Noctis]

Name: Glyph Strike
REQ: Ranged Proficiency
Description: Revan calls upon the power of the elements as he hovers 10 feet above the ground summoning four glyphs.
The green symbolizes earth, red fire, blue water and the white air all appear as Glyphs around him and swirl faster then the human eye can see.

This after twenty seconds fires a small but devastating rainbow energy beam for five seconds only once that can cause tremendous damage to any individual enemy. It hits and travels so fast only the most fastest opponents could hope of dodging without at least  a scrape of its power.

Class: Tier 1 super move
Cost: 600


Name:Fire Blast
REQ: Ranged Proficiency
Description:Revan takes five seconds to fire a fire ball about twice the size of his palm slamming it into an opponent at high speed.
On impact the fire ball will also burn an opponent causing fire damage. This fire ball is slow enough for an opponent expecting it but can catch unwary enemies by surprise. takes a minute to recharge.

Class:Attack move
Cost:300

[Jack Darby]

Adding a move.

Dark Flame Hands - 900, Ranged Proficiency, Physical Strength, Debuff Proficiency.
-----------------------------------------
Dark Flame Hands is a technique that is activated by an incantation. "Burn the world, consume it in the flames..BURN TO ASHES!" Once those words are spoken, crimson colored flames will have engulfed his hands. This fire can be channeled into weapons to add a debuff to them, but it can also be used by him directly. This can be channeled to his feet as well. The ranged variant involves him shooting a 6 feet long by 3 feet wide beam of flame out of the palm of his hands that will knock his opponent back. The beam can only hit one person and moves at about the speed of an arrow. Dark Flame Hands has an 8 second charge time and uses a moderate amount of energy. The flames last 5 for five seconds. The burn debuff deals moderate damage and lasts for 3 seconds. Both the beam and the flames also deal heavy initial damage when first conjured, but drop off after a second or two. This is a "curse" that was bestowed on Veritas for entering into ancient ruins. It's energy drain is moderate.

This is not without another price however. The more he uses this ability in a battle, the more destructive and violent he becomes. It turns him rash and hotheaded, brutal and makes him not care about hurting others. This also makes him relentlessly pursue an enemy. Furthermore it prevents him from thinking strategically. His thoughts when this is active are more of "Maim" or "Kill" or "Destroy" as it were. After this he cannot use any moves for about 10 seconds due to being overwhelmed by guilt.

[Clare]

ClareSword Throwing (300 OM) - Requires Ranged Proficiency
[quote pid='88898' dateline='1480141777']
Clare treats her sword as a javelin, and throws it with all her strength. The thrown sword has a maximum range of around 100 ft and takes about a second to travel this distance. Clare can choose to retrieve the sword normally, or reform it through omnilium, which takes about two seconds.

How draining is it to resummon this? Can she form more than one at a time or is it limited to retrieving or dissolving/reforming the same blade?
[/quote]

I'd say that it's somewhat tiring to throw the sword, and compared to that, the fatigue from resummoning is negligible. The clause for resummoning refers to just the single blade, so that only one sword exists at all times. In addition, if the thrown sword only disappears when the resummoning is finished, so if the process is interrupted, the old blade still exists.

[Daniel]

And another of my own because I'm annoying and forgot one:

Mangekyō Sharingan: Kamui (Tier-1 Defensive Super Move, Requires Ranged Materialize Proficiency, Area Shield Proficiency; 600)
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]
Utilizing the power of the Mangekyō Sharingan, Kakashi is capable of ripping a whole in space-time within his line of sight over the course of a few seconds, creating a rift into a pocket dimension unique to his Sharingan. The distortion created by this technique is roughly one meter in diameter, resembling a swirling mass of air being sucked into an unseen outlet. Ranged techniques that make contact with this rip are sucked into the dimension and cease to exist. Melee attackers that come into contact with the rift are buffeted by the chaotic force and staggered as it threatens to draw them in, causing the attack to fail. As Kakashi has little skill with this technique, the attackers are not truly drawn in and any discomfort sustained by contact with the rift subsides as the rift closes a few seconds later. Kakashi must remain stationary while this is in effect and it takes his full attention to maintain.

I don't see a problem with this. Approved.

[Dr. McNinja]

The Bee (2000) - Alternate Form

Gaige equips the Bee, which takes a few seconds to charge after being equipped. Once it's fully charged, it comes into effect, amplifying all of her attacks massively, but sacrificing her shield capacity. By a lot. She's squisher than Jello with the Bee.

ATK - 4
DEF - 0
SPD - 4
TEC - 2



The Slagga (300) - Requires Ranged, Debuff

The Slagga is a legendary SMG that utilizes slag, a mysterious element that amplifies damage... somehow. The Slagga does no damage (as it fires shots the strength of a tossed paper ball) but has a 25% chance to "slag" enemies. "Slagged" enemies take slightly more damage from all of Gaige's (and only Gaige's) moves, as well as generally annoying enemies. (slag is supposed to taste pretty bad and has a tendency to get in your mouth) Enemies become unslagged after 5 seconds, and Gaige must reslag them. The Slagga can fire 90 shots before it must be reloaded at a rate of 9 bullets per second. This godly 10-second spray is off-set by the 4-second reload time. Also, the gun has two mags, so she may be interrupted twice while reloading, in which case she needs to start all the fuck over again. Effective range of 6 meters. It takes one second to digistruct in her hands, slower than her other guns (which are more or less immediate).

[Omni]

Consume (Physical) (300): The Unending lunges forward, skeletal head gnashing with its jagged fangs. Broken and uneven from the elements weathered, they do not leave a clean gash. Rather, the fragmented canines tear through flesh, and anything that is rent from the prey is swallowed whole by the beast, feeding and energizing it.

Consume: What exactly do you mean by feeding and energizing it? Is that just for fodder or do you mean it to be a heal or something?

All others are approved.

Restores some of its energy, like a morbid cup of coffee.

I'm going to say that a move that casually bites off parts of people is impossible without some huge chargeup or other risk. Let alone having an added restorative energy effect.

Even if a move could POTENTIALLY do that, you cannot buy a move that guarantees it.

[Jack Darby]

Bumping these, and Dark Flame Hands. 

Name:  Weapon Module - Particle Beam Rifle 
Reqs: Area Effect, Ranged Proficiency. 
Description: Particle Beam Rifle is a Weapons Module that takes about fifteen seconds for Veritas because of the power it has. The beam it fires is slow moving and ridiculously easy to dodge or block.The beam is about as wide as a city bus and has a 10 second cool down after each shot. This is effective up to 30 feet, but has a maximum range of 70 feet. This is because the beam’s integrity loses stability after about 45 feet. This is good for 10 shots before he must swap out the power canister for a new one. This uses a grayish purple colored energy that is more of a concussive energy blast in that it pushes anything, or anyone it hits back.  

The strength of this attack is low,  meaning it cannot actually do much damage to an opponent. At best this can inflict moderate damage. Summoning a new canister to reload the particle beam rifle takes 5 seconds. This is as draining as a mile run, so he'd be a bit winded after using this for prolonged periods, but he could recover. Each Canister makes him feel a bit sore once he has summoned them. Fifteen canisters are the maximum he can summon per thread. This can be used with other moves. 

Cost: 600 

Name of Move: Bladebeamer- Blaster Mode
Description: A relic of old technology that was acquired from a Vendor.  This was built from studying the relic. This copy can only go into blaster mode, while it’s counterpart can only go into sword mode. This shoots purple "energy arrows." This takes 8 seconds to swap a one handed weapon out, or 10 seconds if he swaps both hands to these.. This weapon is typically paired with it’s counterpart, and wielded with it. These arrows are about the size of darts. Three can be fired every second. This can be used while moving and does a pitiful amount of damage. This has a range of 50 feet from him. 
Reqs:  Ranged Proficiency
Cost: 300 OM

[Summer]

Consume (Physical) (300): The Unending lunges forward, skeletal head gnashing with its jagged fangs. Broken and uneven from the elements weathered, they do not leave a clean gash. Rather, the fragmented canines tear through flesh, and anything that is rent from the prey is swallowed whole by the beast, feeding and energizing it.

Consume: What exactly do you mean by feeding and energizing it? Is that just for fodder or do you mean it to be a heal or something?

All others are approved.

Restores some of its energy, like a morbid cup of coffee.

I'm going to say that a move that casually bites off parts of people is impossible without some huge chargeup or other risk. Let alone having an added restorative energy effect.

Even if a move could POTENTIALLY do that, you cannot buy a move that guarantees it.

Meant for the biting off and energy gaining parts of it to be more RP fodder type things. It'd be odd to have a cannibal that doesn't eat people, after all.
Lets try this...

Consume (Physical) (300): The air falls as silent as a winter night, suppressed by the beast's ancient powers, and the Unending lunges forward, skeletal head gnashing with its jagged fangs, broken and uneven from the elements weathered. Should the beast rend flesh from its prey, it swallows the prize whole, giving it a taste of the victim and making it all the more interested. No matter whether it succeeds or not, the being grows lethargic for a brief time, perking up again only after half a minute.

Removed energy thing, made the biting more iffy, and made it consume more energy.

[Mark]

Name:  Weapon Module - Particle Beam Rifle 
Reqs: Area Effect, Ranged Proficiency. 
Description: Particle Beam Rifle is a Weapons Module that takes about fifteen seconds for Veritas because of the power it has. The beam it fires is slow moving and ridiculously easy to dodge or block.The beam is about as wide as a city bus and has a 10 second cool down after each shot. This is effective up to 30 feet, but has a maximum range of 70 feet. This is because the beam’s integrity loses stability after about 45 feet. This is good for 10 shots before he must swap out the power canister for a new one. This uses a grayish purple colored energy that is more of a concussive energy blast in that it pushes anything, or anyone it hits back.  

The strength of this attack is low,  meaning it cannot actually do much damage to an opponent. At best this can inflict moderate damage. Summoning a new canister to reload the particle beam rifle takes 5 seconds. This is as draining as a mile run, so he'd be a bit winded after using this for prolonged periods, but he could recover. Each Canister makes him feel a bit sore once he has summoned them. Fifteen canisters are the maximum he can summon per thread. This can be used with other moves. 

Cost: 600 

Name of Move: Bladebeamer- Blaster Mode
Description: A relic of old technology that was acquired from a Vendor.  This was built from studying the relic. This copy can only go into blaster mode, while it’s counterpart can only go into sword mode. This shoots purple "energy arrows." This takes 8 seconds to swap a one handed weapon out, or 10 seconds if he swaps both hands to these.. This weapon is typically paired with it’s counterpart, and wielded with it. These arrows are about the size of darts. Three can be fired every second. This can be used while moving and does a pitiful amount of damage. This has a range of 50 feet from him. 
Reqs:  Ranged Proficiency
Cost: 300 OM

Both approved. You can take out the ‘15 per thread’ part of the first move, it’s not necessary. Also that move would only run you 300 OM.

Adding a move.

Dark Flame Hands - 900,  Ranged Proficiency,  Physical Strength, Debuff Proficiency.
-----------------------------------------
Dark Flame Hands is a technique that is activated by an incantation. "Burn the world, consume it in the flames..BURN TO ASHES!" Once those words are spoken, crimson colored flames will have engulfed his hands. This fire can be channeled into weapons to add a debuff to them, but it can also be used by him directly. This can be channeled to his feet as well. The ranged variant involves him shooting a 6 feet long by 3 feet wide beam of flame out of the palm of his hands that will knock his opponent back. The beam can only hit one person and moves at about the speed of an arrow. Dark Flame Hands has an 8 second charge time and uses a moderate amount of energy. The flames last 5 for five seconds. The burn debuff deals moderate damage and lasts for 3 seconds. Both the beam and the flames also deal heavy initial damage when first conjured, but drop off after a second or two. This is a "curse" that was bestowed on Veritas for entering into ancient ruins. It's energy drain is moderate.

This is not without another price however. The more he uses this ability in a battle, the more destructive and violent he becomes. It turns him rash and hotheaded, brutal and makes him not care about hurting others. This also makes him relentlessly pursue an enemy. Furthermore it prevents him from thinking strategically. His thoughts when this is active are more of "Maim"  or "Kill"  or "Destroy" as it were.  After this he cannot use any moves for about 10 seconds due to being overwhelmed by guilt.

You wouldn’t be able to stack the fire power on your other weapons and moves, you’d need to buy a use for each one specifically. Removing that would bring the cost down to 600, unless you want to add in a “Dark Flame Sword” or something.

As for the fist/foot attack, I’m going to say that if you want the attack to deal heavy damage, you’ll need to limit it to a single punch/kick or a small flurry, since being able to deal heavy damage with each blow over 5 seconds with only a moderate drain is sorta unbalanced. If you’d prefer you can make  the energy drain go up with the more swings you take. Does the cast period require concentration?
For the ranged beam, what’s the range? Can it be used while moving? Does it require concentration during the case time? For both forms, does the bit about not being able to use moves also cover while the move is active, or just afterward?

The Scarebeast: Tier one power-up (1000 OM)

If someone or something manages to anger Scarecrow to his limit, you may have the misfortune to meet the Scarebeast. When Scarecrow turns into this monster he grows to 9 feet tall. Talons and fangs form on his body. He grows large and resembles a monster and scarecrow.  

ATK: + 2
DEF: + 2
SPD: +1
TEC: + 0

Spooky. Approved.

Name: Glyph Strike
REQ: Ranged Proficiency
Description: Revan calls upon the power of the elements as he hovers 10 feet above the ground summoning four glyphs.
The green symbolizes earth, red fire, blue water and the white air all appear as Glyphs around him and swirl faster then the human eye can see.

This after twenty seconds fires a small but devastating rainbow energy beam for five seconds only once that can cause tremendous damage to any individual enemy. It hits and travels so fast only the most fastest opponents could hope of dodging without at least  a scrape of its power.

Class: Tier 1 super move
Cost: 600


Name:Fire Blast
REQ: Ranged Proficiency
Description:Revan takes five seconds to fire a fire ball about twice the size of his palm slamming it into an opponent at high speed.
On impact the fire ball will also burn an opponent causing fire damage. This fire ball is slow enough for an opponent expecting it but can catch unwary enemies by surprise. takes a minute to recharge.

Class:Attack move
Cost:300

Glyph Strike: Approved, but just know that with the right Defensive Super, one could avoid damage regardless of speed.

Fire Blast: Can you give me a value for how damaging this is (slightly, moderate, heavy, etc?), as well as how draining it is to perform? What’s the effective range? Can you better define how fast it moves using general terms (fast as an arrow, fast as a thrown ball, etc) or numbers (meters per second, MPH etc) if you’d prefer. Can this be used while moving or does he need to stand still to cast it? Does it require his full concentration? Can this be used in tandem with other moves?

Sword Throwing (300 OM) - Requires Ranged Proficiency
[quote pid='88898' dateline='1480141777']
Clare treats her sword as a javelin, and throws it with all her strength. The thrown sword has a maximum range of around 100 ft and takes about a second to travel this distance. Clare can choose to retrieve the sword normally, or reform it through omnilium, which takes about two seconds.

How draining is it to resummon this? Can she form more than one at a time or is it limited to retrieving or dissolving/reforming the same blade?

I'd say that it's somewhat tiring to throw the sword, and compared to that, the fatigue from resummoning is negligible. The clause for resummoning refers to just the single blade, so that only one sword exists at all times. In addition, if the thrown sword only disappears when the resummoning is finished, so if the process is interrupted, the old blade still exists.

Sounds good to me. Approved.

The Bee (2000) - Alternate Form

Gaige equips the Bee, which takes a few seconds to charge after being equipped. Once it's fully charged, it comes into effect, amplifying all of her attacks massively, but sacrificing her shield capacity. By a lot. She's squisher than Jello with the Bee.

ATK - 4
DEF - 0
SPD - 4
TEC - 2



The Slagga (300) - Requires Ranged, Debuff

The Slagga is a legendary SMG that utilizes slag, a mysterious element that amplifies damage... somehow. The Slagga does no damage (as it fires shots the strength of a tossed paper ball) but has a 25% chance to "slag" enemies. "Slagged" enemies take slightly more damage from all of Gaige's (and only Gaige's) moves, as well as generally annoying enemies. (slag is supposed to taste pretty bad and has a tendency to get in your mouth) Enemies become unslagged after 5 seconds, and Gaige must reslag them. The Slagga can fire 90 shots before it must be reloaded at a rate of 9 bullets per second. This godly 10-second spray is off-set by the 4-second reload time. Also, the gun has two mags, so she may be interrupted twice while reloading, in which case she needs to start all the fuck over again. Effective range of 6 meters. It takes one second to digistruct in her hands, slower than her other guns (which are more or less immediate).

The Bee is approved.

Slagga is a little confusing to me. Do the bullets move at the speed of a normal bullet? How many bullets does it take to cause the effect? If I’m reading/mathing it right you have 270 bullets which would give you ~68 debuffs  which is kinda unreasonable. Does the effect stack or extend the timer if she hits them repeatedly? I’m also a bit iffy about having a debuff with no real cast time other than the cooldown between clips.

If I were trying to do a move similar to this I’d maybe have the bullets move slower (maybe closer to an arrow than a bullet) and have each ‘use’ instead of being a 25% chance per bullet instead just be a guarantee for a set number of bullets in a barrage, maybe 10 or so. The debuff wouldn’t stack, and could be reapplied a few seconds after the initial debuff ends. I’d also tack on maybe a couple seconds cast time to celebrate the gun or however you’d like to describe it. This would give you a decent number of uses, which I feel is reasonable since it’s not a huge debuff, but also keep it balanced.

You can of course do something else entirely if you'd like, just an idea.

Meant for the biting off and energy gaining parts of it to be more RP fodder type things. It'd be odd to have a cannibal that doesn't eat people, after all.
Lets try this...

Consume (Physical) (300): The air falls as silent as a winter night, suppressed by the beast's ancient powers, and the Unending lunges forward, skeletal head gnashing with its jagged fangs, broken and uneven from the elements weathered. Should the beast rend flesh from its prey, it swallows the prize whole, giving it a taste of the victim and making it all the more interested. No matter whether it succeeds or not, the being grows lethargic for a brief time, perking up again only after half a minute.

Removed energy thing, made the biting more iffy, and made it consume more energy.

Honestly with what’s written here you could just have that be a 0 OM fodder move. Just like a ‘hey my character likes to eat flesh so he’s kinda bloodthristy in combat'. If you have the strength to justify ripping someone you can just RP eating it and being hungry for more. And you can eat random townsfolk if you wanna, provided you don't mind people getting mad about that.

[Revan Noctis]

I would say moderate with the speed of a ball can be used while moving but has only a range of about 25 metres and it is my hope to eventually be able to perhaps use it to ignite my sword but I do not want that just yet..

[Mark]

I would say moderate with the speed of a ball can be used while moving but has only a range of about 25 metres and it is my hope to eventually be able to perhaps use it to ignite my sword but I do not want that just yet..

Igniting your sword with it would be another 300 OM, just feel free to post it here when you're ready to get it approved.

For the move at hand, how draining is this on his stamina/energy to perform? Add this info into the move description along with the answers you gave above and I'll approve it.

[Jack Darby]

I've edited Dark Flame Hands to meet your criterion, I do believe. Let me know if I made any mistakes. 

Dark Flame Hands - 600,  Ranged Proficiency,  Physical Strength, Debuff Proficiency.
-----------------------------------------
Dark Flame Hands is a technique that is activated by an incantation. "Burn the world, consume it in the flames..BURN TO ASHES!" Once those words are spoken, crimson colored flames will have engulfed his hands. This fire does moderate damage but has another side effect. This burns an opponent for about 5 seconds. It takes 8 seconds to charge up. The burning does heavy damage on the first strike, but then decreases to moderate and then pitiful damage added onto the moderate damage strikes of the Dark Flame Hands. This can't be used with his weapons, so it is a move that requires his hands be free.  This is not without another price however. 

The ranged variant involves him shooting a 6 feet long by 3 feet wide beam of flame out of the palm of his hands that will knock his opponent back. The beam can only hit one person and moves at about the speed of an arrow. Dark Flame Hands has an 8 second charge time and uses a moderate amount of energy. This can be used with other moves, and he can take damage while charging it. 

The more he uses this ability in a battle, the more destructive and violent he becomes. It turns him rash and hotheaded, brutal and makes him not care about hurting others. This also makes him relentlessly pursue an enemy. Furthermore it prevents him from thinking strategically. His thoughts when this is active are more of "Maim"  or "Kill"  or "Destroy" as it were.  After this he cannot use any moves for about 10 seconds due to being overwhelmed by guilt. A bit of RP Flavor is that this move can be used to illuminate darkened areas.

[Mark]

I've edited Dark Flame Hands to meet your criterion, I do believe. Let me know if I made any mistakes. 

Dark Flame Hands - 600,  Ranged Proficiency,  Physical Strength, Debuff Proficiency.
-----------------------------------------
Dark Flame Hands is a technique that is activated by an incantation. "Burn the world, consume it in the flames..BURN TO ASHES!" Once those words are spoken, crimson colored flames will have engulfed his hands. This fire does moderate damage but has another side effect. This burns an opponent for about 5 seconds. It takes 8 seconds to charge up. The burning does heavy damage on the first strike, but then decreases to moderate and then pitiful damage added onto the moderate damage strikes of the Dark Flame Hands. This can't be used with his weapons, so it is a move that requires his hands be free.  This is not without another price however. The more he uses this ability in a battle, the more destructive and violent he becomes. It turns him rash and hotheaded, brutal and makes him not care about hurting others. This also makes him relentlessly pursue an enemy. Furthermore it prevents him from thinking strategically. His thoughts when this is active are more of "Maim"  or "Kill"  or "Destroy" as it were.  After this he cannot use any moves for about 10 seconds due to being overwhelmed by guilt. A bit of RP Flavor is that this move can be used to illuminate darkened areas.

So does the cast time require complete concentration or can he move around and take damage while charging it? Also, do you still want the ranged version? That bit isn't present in this revision.

[Jack Darby]

Dark Flame Hands - 600,  Ranged Proficiency,  Physical Strength, Debuff Proficiency. 
-----------------------------------------
Dark Flame Hands is a technique that is activated by an incantation. "Burn the world, consume it in the flames..BURN TO ASHES!" Once those words are spoken, crimson colored flames will have engulfed his hands. This fire does moderate damage but has another side effect. This burns an opponent for about 5 seconds. It takes 8 seconds to charge up. The burning does heavy damage on the first strike, but then decreases to moderate and then pitiful damage added onto the moderate damage strikes of the Dark Flame Hands. This can't be used with his weapons, so it is a move that requires his hands be free.  This is not without another price however. 

The ranged variant involves him shooting a 6 feet long by 3 feet wide beam of flame out of the palm of his hands that will knock his opponent back. The beam can only hit one person and moves at about the speed of an arrow. Dark Flame Hands has an 8 second charge time and uses a moderate amount of energy. This can be used with other moves, and he can take damage while charging it. 

The more he uses this ability in a battle, the more destructive and violent he becomes. It turns him rash and hotheaded, brutal and makes him not care about hurting others. This also makes him relentlessly pursue an enemy. Furthermore it prevents him from thinking strategically. His thoughts when this is active are more of "Maim"  or "Kill"  or "Destroy" as it were.  After this he cannot use any moves for about 10 seconds due to being overwhelmed by guilt. A bit of RP Flavor is that this move can be used to illuminate darkened areas.

This version I do believe has the revisions you wanted, and I've bolded them. He'll be keeping the ranged version as well.

[Revan Noctis]

Name:Fire Blast
REQ: Ranged Proficiency
Description:Revan takes five seconds to fire a fire ball about twice the size of his palm slamming it into an opponent at high speed.
On impact the fire ball will also burn an opponent causing fire damage. This fire ball is slow enough for an opponent expecting it but can catch unwary enemies by surprise. takes a minute to recharge. The move does moderate damage and can be thrown like a ball up to 25 metres and can be used while in movement.
The move takes a fair amount of energy resulting in about five bursts before the minute cool down is needed.
Class:Attack move
Cost:300

[Mark]

Dark Flame Hands - 600,  Ranged Proficiency,  Physical Strength, Debuff Proficiency. 
-----------------------------------------
Dark Flame Hands is a technique that is activated by an incantation. "Burn the world, consume it in the flames..BURN TO ASHES!" Once those words are spoken, crimson colored flames will have engulfed his hands. This fire does moderate damage but has another side effect. This burns an opponent for about 5 seconds. It takes 8 seconds to charge up. The burning does heavy damage on the first strike, but then decreases to moderate and then pitiful damage added onto the moderate damage strikes of the Dark Flame Hands. This can't be used with his weapons, so it is a move that requires his hands be free.  This is not without another price however. 

The ranged variant involves him shooting a 6 feet long by 3 feet wide beam of flame out of the palm of his hands that will knock his opponent back. The beam can only hit one person and moves at about the speed of an arrow. Dark Flame Hands has an 8 second charge time and uses a moderate amount of energy. This can be used with other moves, and he can take damage while charging it. 

The more he uses this ability in a battle, the more destructive and violent he becomes. It turns him rash and hotheaded, brutal and makes him not care about hurting others. This also makes him relentlessly pursue an enemy. Furthermore it prevents him from thinking strategically. His thoughts when this is active are more of "Maim"  or "Kill"  or "Destroy" as it were.  After this he cannot use any moves for about 10 seconds due to being overwhelmed by guilt. A bit of RP Flavor is that this move can be used to illuminate darkened areas.

This version I do believe has the revisions you wanted, and I've bolded them. He'll be keeping the ranged version as well.

You haven't yet told me the range or whether or not he needs to be standing still to perform the action.

Name:Fire Blast
REQ: Ranged Proficiency
Description:Revan takes five seconds to fire a fire ball about twice the size of his palm slamming it into an opponent at high speed.
On impact the fire ball will also burn an opponent causing fire damage. This fire ball is slow enough for an opponent expecting it but can catch unwary enemies by surprise. takes a minute to recharge. The move does moderate damage and can be thrown like a ball up to 25 metres and can be used while in movement.
The move takes a fair amount of energy resulting in about five bursts before the minute cool down is needed.
Class:Attack move
Cost:300

Approved.

[Jack Darby]

Dark Flame Hands - 600, Ranged Proficiency, Physical Strength, Debuff Proficiency.
-----------------------------------------
Dark Flame Hands is a technique that is activated by an incantation. "Burn the world, consume it in the flames..BURN TO ASHES!" Once those words are spoken, crimson colored flames will have engulfed his hands. This fire does moderate damage but has another side effect. This burns an opponent for about 5 seconds. It takes 8 seconds to charge up. The burning does heavy damage on the first strike, but then decreases to moderate and then pitiful damage added onto the moderate damage strikes of the Dark Flame Hands. This can't be used with his weapons, so it is a move that requires his hands be free. This is not without another price however.

The ranged variant involves him shooting a 6 feet long by 3 feet wide beam of flame out of the palm of his hands that will knock his opponent back. The beam can only hit one person and moves at about the speed of an arrow. Dark Flame Hands has an 8 second charge time and uses a moderate amount of energy. This can be used with other moves, and he can take damage while charging it. This has a range of 55 feet, and can be done while moving.

The more he uses this ability in a battle, the more destructive and violent he becomes. It turns him rash and hotheaded, brutal and makes him not care about hurting others. This also makes him relentlessly pursue an enemy. Furthermore it prevents him from thinking strategically. His thoughts when this is active are more of "Maim" or "Kill" or "Destroy" as it were. After this he cannot use any moves for about 10 seconds due to being overwhelmed by guilt. A bit of RP Flavor is that this move can be used to illuminate darkened areas.

[Mark]

Dark Flame Hands - 600, Ranged Proficiency, Physical Strength, Debuff Proficiency.
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Dark Flame Hands is a technique that is activated by an incantation. "Burn the world, consume it in the flames..BURN TO ASHES!" Once those words are spoken, crimson colored flames will have engulfed his hands. This fire does moderate damage but has another side effect. This burns an opponent for about 5 seconds. It takes 8 seconds to charge up. The burning does heavy damage on the first strike, but then decreases to moderate and then pitiful damage added onto the moderate damage strikes of the Dark Flame Hands. This can't be used with his weapons, so it is a move that requires his hands be free. This is not without another price however.

The ranged variant involves him shooting a 6 feet long by 3 feet wide beam of flame out of the palm of his hands that will knock his opponent back. The beam can only hit one person and moves at about the speed of an arrow. Dark Flame Hands has an 8 second charge time and uses a moderate amount of energy. This can be used with other moves, and he can take damage while charging it. This has a range of 55 feet, and can be done while moving.

The more he uses this ability in a battle, the more destructive and violent he becomes. It turns him rash and hotheaded, brutal and makes him not care about hurting others. This also makes him relentlessly pursue an enemy. Furthermore it prevents him from thinking strategically. His thoughts when this is active are more of "Maim" or "Kill" or "Destroy" as it were. After this he cannot use any moves for about 10 seconds due to being overwhelmed by guilt. A bit of RP Flavor is that this move can be used to illuminate darkened areas.

Approved.