Green Text Stories Thread

[Ezrihel]

Post your green text stories here guys. Because we all know how great story time is!

I'll go first.

>november 2013
>cooking god knows what
>burn mom's stainless steel pot
>mom is beyond pissed
>tells me to "figure out a way to fix it"
>Get on internet
>find sara lee's website
>"pour four cups of water into the pot and three tablespoons of salt. Let sit over night. Bring to boil, dump water and scrub while hot. If stains persist, reboil water and salt."
>soundsgood.jpeg
>try it
>give myself blisters on my fingers from the heat
>it doesn't work
>sara lee, you fucking liar
>put more water in pot
>put more salt in pot
>put ocean water on stove top to boil
>I'm fucked if I don't fix this
>mom will be home soon, no time to dick around with letting it sit all night again
>turns heat up to HI
>sweat beading down my face
>I go to grab my friend from my room
>she starts talking about a book
>water takes 7 mins to boil normally
>spend about 6 mins talking to friend
>ohshit.jpeg
>I gotta check the water
>walk into kitchen and peer over the stove
>there is no water only Zuul
>the salt is practically crystalised in the bottom of this pot, having caused the water to evaporate away at the speed of fuck me
>no time to turn burner off
>I pull the pot off the stove
>gonna put it on the granite counter top
>bottom of the pot falls off
>throws pot across kitchen out of sheer terror
>liquid aluminum goes EVERYWHERE
>wooden cabinets and furniture just got splashed with melted metal
>panicking intensifies
>instincts kick in
>grab cup of water
>throw it on liquid metal
>"this'll cool it down"
>water hits metal and turns to steam or boils on contact
>somehow water splashes the bottom of my foot and gives me severe 2nd degree burns
>holyshit.png
>laminate floor is spewing plastic white smoke
>lungs burning knees weak arms are heavy
>I gotta get out
>the back door is blocked by smoke and melting floor
>front door has such a heavy lock it looks like Fort Knox
>bang on little brother's door
>he has headphones on and doesn't hear the screaming in the kitchen and hallway
>grab friend
>practically kick bro's door down
>"I set the house on fire, we gotta go man"
>there's no time
>grab my cat
>somehow unlock Fort Knox door in less than 15 secs
>run down steps wearing a tank top and shorts
>barefoot
>40* outside
>night time
>in the hood
>runs down road calling for help
>neighbors probs think I'm a druggie or some shit
>they're turning off their lights and ignoring us
>cars passing by
>they ignore us too
>finally some white guy stops and lets bro call 911
>bro is panicked and doesn't know what to do
>hands phone to me
>has smoke inhalation damage
>is also having an asthma attack
>trying to talk to dispatcher
>"send help"
>firefighters and ambulance get there quick as fuck
>mom also arrives right at the same time
>is crying on curb while firefighters poor water on my burn
>just now realise that metal melted to my foot as well
>burned so bad and quick didn't even feel it happen
>"Don't kill me please mom, I just wanted to clean the pot"
>gets hugged
>confused.jpeg
>"You want to ride in the ambulance to the hospital"
>"No, I can't. That's too expensive." -me
>mom forces me to take the ambulance
>EMS tries to take my blood sugar level
>my vein rolls
>needle is stabbed into hand
>blood is leaking everywhere
>they just dip the sugar stick in the blood on my hand
>they stick me in the arm
>IV attempt successful
>"Here have some drugs kid"
>give me max dosage
>pain is still there
>"MOAR DRUGS"
>"We don't need you overdosing"
>get wheeled into ER
>get hooked up to machines and shit
>I'm robocop bitches
>nurse amazed at metal foot
>she calls another nurse
>that nurse calls a doctor over
>that doctor called another doctor
>they all marvel at how damn dumb this shit is
>curiosity levels rising
>one of them decides to poke the metal because sure why not
>"Ow man"
>decides to try to peel it off with his bare fingers
>because sure what's procedure and protocol when the patient is trying to become an X-men member
>missionfailedwellgetemnexttime.WAV
>"Ow man"
>mom gets dad on the phone
>hands the phone to me
>"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING"
>instantly starts to have a panic attack
>throws phone across room
>vitals go fucking crazy
>haven't gotten done having asthma attack
>throat closes up
>feels like I got hit in the chest by a truck
>everyone panics
>claws at chest and throat trying to breathe
>raspywails.mp3
>has to be physically restrained until I calm down
>black out from stress for indiscriminate amount of time
>comes back
>barely conscious
>memory is fuzzy after this
>somehow end up home with foot wrapped
>they cut the metal off my foot and I don't remember when
>took 12 weeks to recover
>still has nerve damage in left foot
>keeps metal in windowsill as a war trophy

[Damien Darhk]

So the pot got cleaned at least right?

[Ezrihel]

So the pot got cleaned at least right?

Well, where it hit the floor? The scorch marks looked like a mini frag went off or some shit. I personally never saw the pot after I got out the front door, but I mean... XD

[Damien Darhk]

Lmao XD well I'll call that "super" clean XP

[Gamzee Makara]

SO IS THIS THE NEW OMNIVERSE GREEN TEXT STORIES THREAD? BECAUSE IM SO HYPE FOR THAT

[Ezrihel]

Slaps an update on the thread.
Have fun my wicked brothas.

[Jade Harley]

>it is a hot summer afternoon
>get a hankering for a popsicle
>not just any popsicle, mind you
>the kind of popsicle that is made of sunshine and angel sweat
>an ORANGE popsicle
>the orangiest popsicle to ever orange
>go to the garage
>pat the dogs on the head
>feed them strawberry ice cream sandwiches
>i am a small human child
>all is well
>open the freezer
>sort through piles of meat and probably dead bodies in black trash bags
>not human bodies but still
>fingers are frostbitten
>find the one
>the one popsicle
>colder than any blade destined to spell doom for the hero
>orange and perfect
>try to peel it open with fingers
>fingers are frozen
>the dumb plastic is impossible
>attempt to tear it open with teeth
>canine tooth stabbing right into the plastic
>jerk my head roughly the side
>SUDDEN BLINDING PAIN
>drop popsicle
>make weird noises like a tea kettle or something
>is still a small child and doesnt know swear words
>claw my way inside with the dogs coming at me from all sides
>swat away wagging tails and noses and try not to cry
>head feels like walking around with a titanium stockade on
>everything burns
>what have i done to deserve this hell
>stumble past the kitchen and into the living room
>wobbling like Quasimodo and trying to pathetically make it to my room
>visiting people are there, they stare at me in confusion
>fuck all yall
>make it to the blessed sanctity of the bed
>the only safe place
>burrow under pillows
>"owhadnadsjkadjkalhdakl"
>it hurts a lot to even lie down
>realize at this point that i cannot turn my head even an inch
>convince myself that i broke my neck
>begin sobbing quietly into flower pillows and coverlet
>this is it
>im gonna die
>wild sister appears
>"whats wrong?"
>"why are you crying?"
>cant even speak
>blinded by tears and pain
>wheeze
>"im gonna get mom"
>sister leaves
>returns with mother in tow
>"whats wrong honey?"
>i am clutching at my throat and the sides of my head
>"owhadnadsjkadjkalhdakl"
>"im going to take you to the ER"
>cant remember how i got to the car
>arrive at the ER waiting room
>a heavily muscled man sees me and immediately starts crying
>who was that guy
>was he okay
>signed in in two seconds flat
>sit awkwardly propped up against my mom in a plastic chair
>mother asks what happened
>"i tried to open a popsicle with my teeth"
>she looks doubtful
>cry some more
>wheelchair appearifies before me
>nurses lever me into it
>rush down the semi-dark halls like secret agents
>woooooooooosh
>enjoy the ride despite the pain
>nurses wheel me into a room
>doctor approaches my mom and asks what happened
>"she was opening a popsicle with her teeth and hurt herself"
>doctor looks doubtful
>doctor asks my mother to leave
>they ask what me happened
>i tell them about the orange popsicle
>they cant believe it
>x-rays or something taken
>weird scan things in dark rooms
>mother reappears at some point
>doctor tells her to give me muscle relaxers and prescribes them
>says that i actually gave myself whiplash opening a popsicle
>i could have broken my neck, he says
>two weeks spent on the couch and taking medication
>neck still gets weird twinges every now and then
>i dont like popsicles anymore

[Gamzee Makara]

> Be me
> Alpha 2 year old, biggest thug on the block, king of the playground
> Be at zoo with family
> cool ass zoo tbh, i remember it fondly
> When i was a kid, favorite part was the big ass fucking pond in the middle of the zoo
> indescribable amounts of cool, flamingos and other pretty birds all just chilling for everyone to see.
> hidden alcoves you could find with these peaceful little tributaries full of those huge fucking koi gold fish.
> Mom wheels me in my pimp stroller over to one of these little alcoves to see the goldfish
> thanksmother.jpg
> those fuckers are huge, like they make currents in the water and shit.
> PLAINLY see the huge bright yellow sign on the fence that CLEARLY says
> Do not throw anything into the pond.
> fuckyoubitchidowhatiwant.png
> calmly remove pacifier with conviction and determination.
> Mom watches me in abject horror as I throw the item of suckling into the fish pond
> mfw security guard standing three feet away from us.
> mfw he was two days till retirement

[Jade Harley]

>this morning
>cooking Betty Crocker snickerdoodles for my art class
>"shape the dough into balls and roll it in bowl of cinammon until covered"
>scoffs
>"i don't have time for that"
>dumps the entire bowl of cinnamon into the dough
>somehow has time later to carefully extract floppy failure cookies from the pan without breaking them

[The Vision]

>be me, 8 years old, in dad's car
>ten "one hour past bedtime" o'clock
>a wild button appeared
>smoking symbol like the kind they don't turn off in airplanes
>"is that a swiveling ashtray"
>"i bet it's a swiveling ashtray"
>press, boop 
>cricket.mp3
>moar press, boop boop
>stillcricket.mp3
>BOOPBOOPBOOPBOOPBOOPBOOPBOOPBOOP
>sizzlingcricket.mp3
>wait wat
>"do I have to pull it"
>"I bet I have to pull it"
>yoinkerdoodles
>bright red glow
>fucking portable eye of sauron
>Schwarzenegger's left eye
>stopsaystheredlight.mp3
>error 404: file not found
>"is it one of those dope stamps the other kids decorate their skin with"
>"I bet it's one of those dope stamps the other kids decorate their skin with"
>so pumped I get to show off a cool-ass stamp built into dad's car
>ETphonehoooooome.mp3
>turns out it was a lighter
>oneboop equals one burning cigarette
>manyboop equals one flames of hell
>a wild 2nd degree burn appeared
>aieeee.mp3
>dad nearly crashes car in shock
>still has scar from the time I thought a lighter was a fucking stamp