Move Creation Workshop

[Yukki Kazuto]

Because I'm not sure id editing needs approval on this forum, that character is supposed to have 2 speed, not one. My bad.

[Creatia]

Okay, it's been way too long, and I really do need to see if this is fine, so... I gotta bump this thread right here: http://omniverse-rpg.com/showthread.php?...8#pid81128

[Yukki Kazuto]

Creatia

[spoiler] What's the maximum range on the weapon? By that, what do you consider medium to long range? Assuming it's the length of the weapon or within a few inches of it, I think it looks good enough to move to approval. [/Spoiler]

Kelly

[Spoiler] This is an attempt at something that I have never seen before, but I like the concept! Something to keep in mind: This move will be entirely dependent on your reaction time being enough to block the incoming move perfectly. That being said, your default speed is two, so you have normal human reaction times. I have not tried it myself, but I don't think you can move your hand fast enough to stop a bullet as a normal human. That being said, staff might determine that it's based of your tec stat, and in that case, assuming your tec would be above your opponents, you should be good. Move it to approval and see what staff says. Good luck with this concept! [/Spoiler]

Humble Sage

[Spoiler] Gout of embers looks good, except for one thing. In order for it to cause light burns, it technically would require the debuff proficiency because it causes damage over time. Unless it only causes a burning sensation on contact, and leaves after contact ends. 

Dash of frost-rime looks good enough to be moved to approval.

Burden blade... I'm not comfortable giving a judgement on it honestly. Debuffs are still kind of a new idea to me, so I recommend letting a staff member or more experienced player look at it. 

By linking these moves to one power source, you increase the damage they do by a little. And yes, that does make sense. [/Spoiler]

Eric

[Spoiler] Your looking at the Defense stat determining how much they are affected, specifically in comparison to your attack stat. The higher your attack stat to their defense, the better/longer the effect. Other than that, looking good. [/Spoiler]

Princess Zelda

[Spoiler] Even though you're away, I'm doing up until the last time I see someone offer feedback because I'm trying to practice to maybe one day be staff. So, about the move itself. Can you move while preparing or throwing these? Can you reuse thrown ones if they are picked up again? [/Spoiler]

Chronoire

[Spoiler] I'm not sure about Lunatic... On the one hand, this seems like something you should be able to do. On the other hand, I can't in good faith condone a move that forces a player to change how they feel, no matter why they feel that way, and attack an ally. It just seems a little... unrealistic? Like, the mind is a complex thing, and different things motivate people in different ways. This just seems a little too gamish, you know?

About Whisperings, i'm going to make the same judgement as earlier. I can't condone forcing someone to turn on their allies and attempt to eat them. Again, a staff might say differently, but if it were me, I'd have to say it's a no go. [/Spoiler]

Veritas

[Spoiler] Looks ready to be moved to approval [/Spoiler]

[Sarah Kerrigan]

Spite - 300 OM


Kerrigan spends two seconds concentrating, which she may do while running or moving, but not while preparing other moves, before creating a clear bubble of energy (Roughly two inches in diameter) within one hand. Kerrigan can then point it at an opponent and fire it at the speed of an arrow. the attack actually does very little damage to the opponent - something closer to what a weak punch would do, but the telepathic energies inlaid within the energy ball will make it feel far worse. The energy ball will feel initially as though it's burned a hole the size of the bubble in the affected area, and while this doesn't impair the opponent's ability to move or fight directly, the phantom feeling that their body has a grievous injury will persist for roughly a minute.

How's this look?

[Yukki Kazuto]

Spite - 300 OM


Kerrigan spends two seconds concentrating, which she may do while running or moving, but not while preparing other moves, before creating a clear bubble of energy (Roughly two inches in diameter)  within one hand. Kerrigan can then point it at an opponent and fire it at the speed of an arrow. the attack actually does very little damage to the opponent - something closer to what a weak punch would do, but the telepathic energies inlaid within the energy ball will make it feel far worse. The energy ball will feel initially as though it's burned a hole the size of the bubble in the affected area, and while this doesn't impair the opponent's ability to move or fight directly, the phantom feeling that their body has a grievous injury will persist for roughly a minute.

How's this look?

Requires ranged and debuff proficiency. What's it's max range? Is it possible to deflect? You say that you can move while concentrating, but is it possible to fire while moving? How draining is this to use?

[The Rogue]

Hack: 300 OM


(Human form, requires Debuff)


Damir opens up an interface and send a malicious script into his opponent, requiring only a few seconds. This script at the very least (with an opponent who has the same TEC as him) disables the current basic move the opponent is using.


Is this allowed?

[Luci]

SuperPhase- 300 OM- Requires Phasing

Description: Luci pours her energy into her Phasing power, momentarily causing herself and a large object (or several people) she is touching to become incorporeal. Luci can only stay incorporeal as long as she is holding her breath; likewise she can only sustain SuperPhase while she holds her breath (about 20 seconds). A rough estimate of the power is that Luci can make four allies and a seven-foot-diamter circle around her incorporeal, but another way to play the limits of the power is poetically; Luci turns her immediate surroundings and allies incorporeal, even if that's on a flying carpet that's longer than seven feet. Luci cannot use this power on structures. Luci can use this power on an enemy she is grappling. Immediately after exhaling and becoming corporeal, Luci is knocked unconscious.


Ehh?

[Yukki Kazuto]

Aegis

[Spoiler] I'm not sure if it's allowed or not, so I'll give my two cents on the matter: No. I would not allow this move. At all, under any circumstances. It just seems that the ability for one of your moves to shut down the move the opponent is using, it just seems a little too much like a game for what the Omniverse is like. Now, it would be different if it was physically stopping the move, or mentally breaking into their mind and getting them to stop, but this method, I'm going to have to say no. Might I suggest thinking of another way to accomplish the same result? It's not undoable by any means, but it would take a fair amount of energy to pull off, and a move specifically made for that purpose, that makes sense as to a real way of stopping the move. Maybe just consider a simple blocking technique? [/Spoiler]

Luci

[Spoiler] Here's the deal... The phasing power doesn't give you the ability to phase other people as well, at least not by the definition given in the rules. (Reference) While I like the concept, and you certainly would have enough downfalls to do it, I don't know that you have the ability to. Maybe in conjunction with the Buff proficiency? I recommend seeing official staff help with this move, particularly an Angel or higher. If you don't know exactly who is staff or what rank they are, you can find out here. [/Spoiler]

[Demetri Malius]

THE PRINCETHIEF IS HERE TO SHOW YOU HOW TO PROPERLY MAKE MOVES.

and then fahking steal them.

Cuz thats how do.

PREPARE FOR REVIEWS OF ALL MOVES ON THIS PAGE WITHIN THE HOUR

[Demetri Malius]

Creatia:
[spoiler]

Okay, so I really needed to streamline Creatia's Basic Move to be more specific and change the dimensions to be truer to an actual naginata. So after some tweaking, I think I have something. I just wanted to see if the new version was enough to post in the move approval thread, and also if it and the old version needed any tweaks.

Coriana (Physical Strength): A three and a half foot naginata with a long and curved blade, decored with two silver-white wings, fur trim, and a large blue mana crystal called Soul in the center. A small Soul gem tips the very bottom of the staff as well. It’s very cumbersome and hard to maneuver because of its top heavy design, and requires the user to stand still for five to ten seconds in order to summon it. Coriana is used for mid and long-range melee attacks, which tires out the user if used for an extended period of time. It is also a powerful catalyst for potion spellcasting because of the two Soul gems.

Coriana [Princess Blade] (Physical Strength, 300 OM):

Sizing up to 5 feet and 10 inches total with a curved 18-inch blade, Coriana [meaning "princess" in Deniko] looks like the successful fusion of a naginata and a mage's staff. Two stylized silver-white wings stretch from a fur trimmed hilt to frame half of the blade in a circular arc. Embedded into the fur and placed flush against the blunt edge is a blue, marquise-shaped crystal called Soul. A smaller Soul shard also tips the end of the light blue shaft.

It’s very cumbersome and hard to maneuver because of its top heavy and fanciful design. The user must keep still for 30-60 seconds of concentration in order to summon it initially. Afterwards, it can be carried outside of battle and put away at will; resummoning it requires 5 seconds of focus. Coriana is used for mid and long-range melee attacks (maximum range being its full length give or take her extended arm), which tires out the user if used for an extended period of time. It is also an untapped catalyst for casting because of the two Soul gems.

This looks fine, only thing that I would say would be that for the initial summoning time, try to stick to something solid like just 30 seconds, there's not much need to make it variable. If the catalyst is only fodder for your other moves to work, then it's fine with it's 300 pricing as well. Would approve.
[/spoiler]


Sarah
[spoiler]

Spite - 300 OM


Kerrigan spends two seconds concentrating, which she may do while running or moving, but not while preparing other moves, before creating a clear bubble of energy (Roughly two inches in diameter)  within one hand. Kerrigan can then point it at an opponent and fire it at the speed of an arrow. the attack actually does very little damage to the opponent - something closer to what a weak punch would do, but the telepathic energies inlaid within the energy ball will make it feel far worse. The energy ball will feel initially as though it's burned a hole the size of the bubble in the affected area, and while this doesn't impair the opponent's ability to move or fight directly, the phantom feeling that their body has a grievous injury will persist for roughly a minute.

How's this look?

Yukki seems to have this one mostly down for what you  need, but I would also think that the duration of the effect be a bit shorter, a minute for a 2 second charge move might be a little much, especially if its supposed to feel as painful as it is. In addition, does this pain immediately stop/fade when the time is up or does it gradually wear off within that time?
[/spoiler]

Aegis
[spoiler]

Hack: 300 OM


(Human form, requires Debuff)


Damir opens up an interface and send a malicious script into his opponent, requiring only a few seconds. This script at the very least (with an opponent who has the same TEC as him) disables the current basic move the opponent is using.


Is this allowed?

Disabling a single move is allowed, but you need to have quite a few downsides for it. Something like this would immediately get denied. Try adding a longer time to "hack a person", having it require you to stand still, interrupted by attacks, a number of things must be added for you do disable a move. After all, some people dont have that many. As perhaps a viisualization of the effect, maybe include a description for how it works with moves, perhaps it makes weapon dissolve into omnilium or malfunction, maybe even the target feeling weak with their fists if its a punch move.  Include how it is supposed to work, otherwise it feels like a game mechanic.
[/spoiler]

Luci:
[spoiler]

SuperPhase- 300 OM- Requires Phasing

Description: Luci pours her energy into her Phasing power, momentarily causing herself and a large object (or several people) she is touching to become incorporeal. Luci can only stay incorporeal as long as she is holding her breath; likewise she can only sustain SuperPhase while she holds her breath (about 20 seconds). A rough estimate of the power is that Luci can make four allies and a seven-foot-diamter circle around her incorporeal, but another way to play the limits of the power is poetically; Luci turns her immediate surroundings and allies incorporeal, even if that's on a flying carpet that's longer than seven feet. Luci cannot use this power on structures. Luci can use this power on an enemy she is grappling. Immediately after exhaling and becoming corporeal, Luci is knocked unconscious.


Ehh?

Something of that calibur is gonna be a supermove, no doubt. Not only that, but it will require Area Shield and most likely Buff proficicency. In addition, form what it looks like, there are 3 different uses, one for touching, one for area, and one for enemy, this would  equate to three different typoes of uses, so thats gonna affect the cost. I woulsd say if you want something more as a move, you would need something that requires a large downside(i wouldnt recommend passing out, thats basically an autoloss for you or makes you deadweight for your allies)

As a reccomendation, I would say this:

Supermove:

SuperPhase(Tier-1 Super Defense, 600, Requires Area Shield, Phasing[possibly buff as well])
Luci stops in place and focuses her mind for about 7 seconds, a aura emminating from her and increasing by one foot per second , in which all allies become incorporeal, negating damage dealt to them but also preventing their attacks from dealing damage. This lasts for ten seconds, whereafter Luci must retract the aura and take a breather, having used much of her energy


Move:

Friendly Phasing(600,Requires Area Shield,Area Attack, Phasing[possibly buff as well])
Luci is able to place a hand on an ally, taking a second to concentrate and phase them both, though they can only travel at a walking pace. This can only last up to ten seconds, as it is very draining on Luci. Alternatively, she can use this on an enemy, forcing her and her target to be unable to attack for that same time. Cannot cancel supermoves.

Not sure if this will get approved, due to trying to phase others, but if it does, this will be your best bet at it. Be wary that you cannot phase through people, only physical atacks and objects. Energy attacks can still hit you as well, unless they have changed that.
[/spoiler]

[Summer]

O'man I forgot about this. Sorry! :froggonk:

[spoiler]
I'm not sure about Lunatic... On the one hand, this seems like something you should be able to do. On the other hand, I can't in good faith condone a move that forces a player to change how they feel, no matter why they feel that way, and attack an ally. It just seems a little... unrealistic? Like, the mind is a complex thing, and different things motivate people in different ways. This just seems a little too gamish, you know?

About Whisperings, i'm going to make the same judgement as earlier. I can't condone forcing someone to turn on their allies and attempt to eat them. Again, a staff might say differently, but if it were me, I'd have to say it's a no go.[/spoiler]

Concerning Lunatic:
If we're talking complete realism, then your secondary gripe, about it seeming gamish, is warranted. Though we're not really talking total realism here. In its own universe at least, the Unending was the Cannibal God, commanding ancient and terrible forces. Its mere presence was often enough to drive humans to attack and consume their brethren.
That's a moot point though because I completely agree with your primary issue. It makes total sense for it to do this sort of thing, but at the same time, influencing other people like that is a no-go. Think I'm just gonna scrap it completely.
Whisperings has the same issues behind it, and this presents a big problem. It's kinda difficult to have a storyline about a beast driving people to cannibalism if it can't drive people to cannibalism. 
Do you think it would be possible to have Whisperings as a sort of fodder power, only able to influence NPCs?

[Yukki Kazuto]

O'man I forgot about this. Sorry! :froggonk:

[spoiler]
I'm not sure about Lunatic... On the one hand, this seems like something you should be able to do. On the other hand, I can't in good faith condone a move that forces a player to change how they feel, no matter why they feel that way, and attack an ally. It just seems a little... unrealistic? Like, the mind is a complex thing, and different things motivate people in different ways. This just seems a little too gamish, you know?

About Whisperings, i'm going to make the same judgement as earlier. I can't condone forcing someone to turn on their allies and attempt to eat them. Again, a staff might say differently, but if it were me, I'd have to say it's a no go.[/spoiler]

Concerning Lunatic:
If we're talking complete realism, then your secondary gripe, about it seeming gamish, is warranted. Though we're not really talking total realism here. In its own universe at least, the Unending was the Cannibal God, commanding ancient and terrible forces. Its mere presence was often enough to drive humans to attack and consume their brethren.
That's a moot point though because I completely agree with your primary issue. It makes total sense for it to do this sort of thing, but at the same time, influencing other people like that is a no-go. Think I'm just gonna scrap it completely.
Whisperings has the same issues behind it, and this presents a big problem. It's kinda difficult to have a storyline about a beast driving people to cannibalism if it can't drive people to cannibalism. 
Do you think it would be possible to have Whisperings as a sort of fodder power, only able to influence NPCs?

In a personal storyline, you should be able to use these powers on players who give consent OOC, and being able to influence NPCs would be fine. The problem really would be trying to use these on people who haven't given the OK to play a storyline with that being an aspect. But yes, affecting NPCs in a storyline should be perfectly fine!

[Sarah Kerrigan]

Yukki seems to have this one mostly down for what you  need, but I would also think that the duration of the effect be a bit shorter, a minute for a 2 second charge move might be a little much, especially if its supposed to feel as painful as it is. In addition, does this pain immediately stop/fade when the time is up or does it gradually wear off within that time?

Sorry, allow me to make a quick addition:
Spite - 300 OM


Kerrigan spends two seconds concentrating, which she may do while running or moving, but not while preparing other moves, before creating a clear bubble of energy (Roughly two inches in diameter)  within one hand. Kerrigan can then point it at an opponent and fire it at the speed of an arrow. the attack actually does very little damage to the opponent - something closer to what a weak punch would do, but the telepathic energies inlaid within the energy ball will make it feel far worse. The energy ball will feel initially as though it's burned a hole the size of the bubble in the affected area, and while the pain itself will go away as soon as the user realizes the wound is imaginary, they will still mentally feel as though the injury persists as a sort of reverse phantom limb feeling, as their sense of touch  continues to treat that area as wounded or missing.

[The Vision]

Tier 1 Super Defense Deflect: BAHN-SAH (600) 
Ogong conjures the two characters above in sequence for 8 seconds, causing them to appear in mid-air. Then he focuses on an approaching entity that will do damage. Seconds before impact, Ogong swipes his arm, causing the object to abruptly change course. Ogong cannot decide what direction the projectile will then fly - the spell automatically chooses the angle at which the object will do least damage to its surroundings. The spell will not recognize any other object besides those that will cause direct harm to Ogong - for example, a fist being used to punch him will be deflected. However, a fist holding a sword will not be deflected - the sword will.

Would this require Telekinesis or some such Power? Basically the idea is that it's just a block, but instead of him straight up blocking it's him moving the bullet/energy blast/tsunami/big-ass sword out of the way.

[Luci]

Would this require Telekinesis or some such Power? Basically the idea is that it's just a block, but instead of him straight up blocking it's him moving the bullet/energy blast/tsunami/big-ass sword out of the way.

I think maybe just a high TEC score?

0: Basic. Really bad at fighting.
1: Neither terrible nor particularly skilled.
2: Skilled fighter. Required for effective debilitating moves.
3: Very skilled. Can intentionally deflect projectiles back to their attacker with a degree of luck and the right move.

[Daniel]

Would this require Telekinesis or some such Power? Basically the idea is that it's just a block, but instead of him straight up blocking it's him moving the bullet/energy blast/tsunami/big-ass sword out of the way.

I think maybe just a high TEC score?

0: Basic. Really bad at fighting.
1: Neither terrible nor particularly skilled.
2: Skilled fighter. Required for effective debilitating moves.
3: Very skilled. Can intentionally deflect projectiles back to their attacker with a degree of luck and the right move.

Well, it's a super defense, so any way you wanna rp him blocking it is fine. But you will definitely need area shield for it. As for needing telekinesis, you're not really diverting it with a telekinetic action, more so creating a shield that is just deflecting it away so, no. You won't need telekinesis. You may need ranged materialize though (depending on how far away from himself your character can do this).

[The Vision]

Would this require Telekinesis or some such Power? Basically the idea is that it's just a block, but instead of him straight up blocking it's him moving the bullet/energy blast/tsunami/big-ass sword out of the way.

I think maybe just a high TEC score?

0: Basic. Really bad at fighting.
1: Neither terrible nor particularly skilled.
2: Skilled fighter. Required for effective debilitating moves.
3: Very skilled. Can intentionally deflect projectiles back to their attacker with a degree of luck and the right move.

Well, it's a super defense, so any way you wanna rp him blocking it is fine. But you will definitely need area shield for it. As for needing telekinesis, you're not really diverting it with a telekinetic action, more so creating a shield that is just deflecting it away so, no. You won't need telekinesis. You may need ranged materialize though (depending on how far away from himself your character can do this).

Was afraid you'd say something about area shield. It's not a bubble shield, it needs to be targeted. Like if someone's coming at me with a sword I can deflect the sword, but the guy is deflected so he'd just crash into me. It's more like that scene in Kungfu Panda where the Master dodges a flying sword by moving it around then into the floor. (1:33 of this video https://youtu.be/uP1bU5y9DeE)

[Daniel]

The wording needs to be clarified then. At first glance, it sounds like the characters he conjures does the deflecting.

[Dr. McNinja]

[Image: 1430354931_s][Image: 1430705139_s]

Tier 1 Super Defense Deflect: BAHN-SAH (600) - Telekinesis?
Ogong conjures the two characters above in sequence for 8 seconds, causing them to appear in mid-air above his head. Then he focuses on an approaching entity that will do damage. Seconds before impact, Ogong swipes his arm, causing the object to abruptly and spontaneously change course. Ogong cannot decide what direction the projectile will then fly - the spell automatically chooses the angle at which the object will do least damage to its surroundings. The spell will not recognize any other object besides those that will cause direct harm to Ogong - for example, a fist being used to punch him will be deflected. However, a fist holding a sword will not be deflected - the sword will.

[Marisa Kirisame]

Tier one power up form (1000)
DETERMINATION

stats
4
4
4
3
In This form Chara is still somewhat sain from there memories but there anger and hate makes it hard for them to think.