Dark Legalities

[James Knight]

As the beating and miserable sweltering heat wrapped around him like a jacket made that penetrated flesh with needles, King Sombra had realizeed something. He was, for lack of a better term completely lost. At some point he definitely was going to make a map for the Endless Dunes.This place desperately needed one so the peasants could avoid the encounters with bandits. A sharp emptiness filled his throat as he took in a breath of the dry and humid air. It felt like he had been trotting for miles. Of course he hadn't been trotting, per say but more along the lines of sprinting. The pace had been less than leisurely. The air scalded his lungs and reminded him that he needed water. Forgetting for the moment that he could create anything out of Omnilium, King Sombra could faintly see the beginnings of a structure in the distance. Dashing at his maximum speed towards it,  he hoped he could get there and get himself some water.

[Carmelita]

Carmelita was sitting in the mess hall, writing and rewriting the recruitment ad, when a call from Al3x came over her earpiece.

She flicked out the eyepiece and answered the call.

“Hey, Al3x, you and Chip bored of the workshops already?”

++Not a chance, but we’ve got a visitor. An equine of some kind, looks dehydrated, just appeared over the south-eastern dunes. Here’s a visual.++

Carmelita watched the video feed. On screen, a stallion of the same type she’d encountered in the Town With No Name water shortage was galloping down the dunes, heading for the main gates.

“I’ll go and meet him, see if he’s okay. Hold off on the autoturrets unless he seems hostile.”

++Got it. Chip and I will stay out of sight and be ready to come running.++

“Sounds good. On my way.”

Carmelita strode from the hall, activating the cloaking function of her collar as she went. It was time to greet the unexpected visitor.

---

She reached the gates with half a minute to spare, jogging to a halt in time to have a closer look at the stallion as he approached.

Carmelita felt a bit of sympathy for the stallion. Grey fur and black hair were bound to be sizzlingly hot, and while the smoke and green eyes seemed a little strange she wouldn’t begrudge him appearances.

As the stallion came within fifty metres she dropped the cloak, her form blurring into view in the air. The vixen supposed she could easily be mistaken for a mirage at this distance.

“Good day, sir! My name is Inspector Carmelita Fox-Cooper and I’d like to invite you into the cool and offer you some water. Any objections?”

The stallion pulled up abruptly, taking a moment to steady himself and try and look presentable.

“None, Inspector. My name is Sombra, and I could definitely do with a drink. Lead the way!”

---

Carmelita lead Sombra through the base to the mess hall with little conversation, suspecting that in his state he might not be up for it. Instead, she ushered him inside the small building and offered him a seat, fetching a couple of large plastic cups from the kitchen and filling them with cold water.

“Here, take your time,” she said, offering him the cup and taking sips from the other. “There’ll be time for talking once the magic of air conditioning and refrigerated water fixes your dehydration.”

Carmelita smiled slightly as Sombra gave a nod of acknowledgement before turning her attention back to her recruitment ad. Writing it with a virtual keyboard overlain on her eyepiece, she caught sight of the stallion looking at her strangely as he drank the water.

Eventually, two hooves slammed the cup down on the table and he gave a relieved sigh.

“Another?” she asked.

“Please.”

She refilled the cup from the water dispenser and returned it to the stallion, handing it over.

“So,” she asked, as Sombra sipped at his second drink. “What brings you to the SupraPol Mech Depot?”

[James Knight]

King Sombra had to admit he had not expected hospitality of any sort from a "Bi-Ped" as he called them. The biped surprised him with the hospitality and the water. Air conditioning was most definitely a "gift of the gods" because it helped soothe his sore and aching hooves. The crystal clear water also cooled and relaxed his throat that was parched due to the heat of the desert. It was official, at some point he was going to have to acquire air conditioning and a large reservoir of water for himself.  "Right now? Hiding from some bandits who decided they wanted to skin, stew, sell or otherwise make my life more difficult. They're near the gate. Gave them the slip before when I was weaker. Recently came back and dealt with them. They're still alive but they'll be thinking twice before they try that again on me."  

He'd sigh for a moment. She replied.  "So bandit trouble, huh?" 

King Sombra groaned. "You wouldn't know the half of it. Fifteen of the bastards in one day." 

Carmelita sighed softly.  "I should really get it under control once we get our law enforcement agency up and running." 

"Yes, yes you should..." said King Sombra. "And while you're at it, provide maps to the travelers of the Endless Dunes. Also why do Primes end up so helplessly weak when they come here? Oh and how does one make things using Omnilium? Also, what is O-Harmony and why was I matched with a "Dead Pool? I thought it was somewhere I could find allies. Is it not?" 

[Carmelita]

Carmelita carefully avoided raising an eye at the questions thrown her way and quietly searched for answers on the Dataverse. She took a long drink from her cup before answering the stallions questions.

“I’m checking the Dataverse for a map right now. I can print one out for you if you’re trying to get anywhere in particular.”

She sent Al3x a quick text update and the video she’d recorded so far, opening her eyepiece to stream the conversation. Hopefully the AI would get the hint and provide her the suitable cues.

“I take it you’re a prime if you’re hoping to use omnilium?”

The stallion frowned.

“Maybe. I was brought to this place by a large, featureless biped, if that helps.”

Carmelita nodded.

“Then you’re a prime. From what I can tell, Omni’s set up a system to introduce new people into the omniverse. Those he brings himself are colloquially known as primes, whereas those brought in by primes are known as secondaries. Those born here are also, confusingly, known as secondaries, though I prefer to refer to them as tertiaries.”

Sombra tilted his head.

“And you would be?”

“I’m also a prime.”

“So you know how to alter omnilium, then.”

Carmelita nodded and focused, producing a small glob of omnilium that shimmered in a spectrum of rainbow colours beneath the mess hall lights.

“I find it easiest to picture the structure of the object in my mind and force omnilium out of me and into the object’s existence. Start small and work up from there. Also, try running the omnilium through things you want to duplicate, so you get the feel for how they’re structured.”

The grey stallion proceeded to close his eyes and focus his attention on Carmelita’s actions as she formed a small plastic cup. His horn lit up with dark energy, and slowly omnilium eased its way out and into the form of another, identical plastic cup.

“It is remarkably easy to do,” he declared, examining the cup he had summoned. “It reminds me of crystal crafting.”

Carmelita marked that down as something to ask him about later, and proceeded to inform him of the answers to his last question.

“As for oHarmony and Deadpool…” she ran through the website quickly, then once more slowly, wincing as she saw the resulting webpage.

“Well?” Sombra asked, impatiently.

“You appear to have signed yourself up to a relationship website,” Carmelita grimaced, as she looked through the form. “I don’t know what you put in, but if you’ve been matched with Deadpool I would strongly advise you go prepared for a bloodbath. The man’s the textbook case of a cold blooded psychopath. If you paid any money, I highly recommend you demand your money back.”

“What.”

Carmelita nodded, a grim expression on her face.

“Seriously?”

She nodded again.

“Buck.”

[James Knight]

Buck was not the right word to describe the situation that he was currently in. Bucking Tartarus was more likely to describe the current situation. Dealing with a stone cold psychopath when he was not at his full power? This was not going to be easy to say the least. When he encountered the creator of the website? Sombra was going to kill him or her in the most painful way he could conceive for creating the website. One didn't pair him up like that. For one thing he was not gay. There were so many other problems with that pairing that it pissed him off. 

"I will most definitely be getting my money back." 

King Sombra was frowning now. The person who had made the dating site was going to suffer his revenge. Beating Dead Pool was definitely on his plans because if he had been put into this date...well... King Sombra knew he had work to do. His skills in the art of dark magic were going to need t undergo a massive increase if merely to ensure his own survival. What was a king without the power to protect himself after all? This had been one of the reasons the bandits had so easy a time of defeating him. Twilight's humiliation of him also made him angry. Granted he had willingly given her the power she needed to do so later by providing her with her friends. One of the only saving graces the Omniverse had was the miracle known as "refrigerated water" because it soothed his parched throat and made him relax. Copying that miraculous invention was definitely in his to do list. 

"I'm trying to find a good place to build myself a house." 

The former monarch of the Crystal Empire,  otherwise known as the King of All Monsters looked at her for a moment. "When I leave here I must have the knowledge of how the magic of air conditioning works....and how refrigerated water works. Preferably somewhere without the sweltering heat that these "Endless Dunes" have. Also, could you locate the home address of the person who paired me up with the psychopath known as "Dead Pool?"  Sombra asked this as he thought about what he would do to the person. Torture was too good for someone who believed he was even partially gay, or even interested in a gay relationship. Furthermore the dark king knew that he wasn't going to simply torture the person. Torture was far too good for an individual like that. A swift demise or a demise period wasn't good enough either. What he was going to do, Sombra was going to give the person a front row seat to the realm of nightmares. Everything the man or woman had created, Sombra was going to make them watch as he destroyed. Every hope the person had, Sombra was going to smash. Every dream the individual had was going to destroy. Every Fear the individual had, the dark king was going to exploit and put to use. Assigning him to a date he absolutely despised? 

UNFORGIVABLE!

This was the only word that could come to mind about their plans.  "Also are there any locations that could restore the power of a Prime? If I'm truly on a 'date' with Dead Pool I will need to level up my abilities as quickly as possible in order to stand a chance to survive. " 

[Carmelita]

Carmelita gave Sombra a sympathetic look.

“Sorry, but the nature of the Dataverse means it can be near impossible to track down the creator of content. There are one or two people I know who might be able to track them down, but I wouldn’t trust them to do so.”

Sombra snorted in frustration.

“This technology is a bit beyond my previous experiences. Tell me that the air conditioning and refigerated water are easier to get to grips with…”

Carmelita quirked her muzzle.

“That depends. How familiar are you with plumbing and air ducts?”

The stallion rested his head against the table and groaned. The vixen felt compelled to rest a hand comfortingly on the stallions fetlock, but decided to give him space.

“It’s not all bad. There are populated areas that would have these already installed, or have people you could hire to do the design work for you. Your best bet would probably be the Vasty Deeps, the other side of Coruscant and two gates round to the right in the Nexus.”

The stallion gave a rough grunt of acknowledgement.

“Why don’t you go rest up? There are spare beds in the living quarters and there are showers with warm and cold water if you want to get the sand out of your coat. After you’ve recuperated, we can talk more. I’d like to hear quite a bit about this ‘crystal crafting’ you mentioned earlier, and I can go print you out some maps and basic information on the Omniverse’s geography for you to read.”

“I must admit, a wash does sound excellent. Do you have servants in this base I could call on?”

Carmelita took a moment to understand what he’d said.

“What? Oh, sorry, no. Just official personnel, no manservants or support staff or cooks or anything like that. If you do need something you can’t summon just give a holler and I should hear you.”

“Very well. Lead the way!”

Carmelita showed Sombra the way to the bunkhouse and showers before taking the opportunity to walk outside. She opened a call to Al3x.

“Did you get all that?”

++Sure did. He seems alright, if a little medieval.++

“Can you keep a camera and mike out for him? Both if he needs something and if he tries sneaking off around the base.”

++Will do.++

“Now I have to get back to writing that stupid recruitment ad…”

---

It was only a few hours later, as Carmelita was finalising some touches to her second draft, when Al3x called her up again.

“What’s the matter? Our guest up to something?”

++No, but I’ve picked up engines approaching from the same direction he came from yesterday. He mentioned bandits, so I’ve got the autoturrets ready for non-lethal fire.++

“Understood. Warning shot first. I’m on my way to the gates again.”

Carmelita stood rapidly, saving and closing the document and running for the exit to the mess hall.

As she burst out the doors the sound of the autoturrets firing hit her ears as heavily as the afternoon heat.

Two trucks had crested the dunes to the south-east simultaneously, followed by a small buggy. Upon having green bursts of light shot across their bonnets, the two trucks had screeched to a halt, but the buggy clearly had other ideas and attempted to make a break across the open ground for the compound.

Under her cloak, the vixen watched impassively as the towers flashed red and the engine block was toasted, the two people inside diving out and the vehicle coming to a flaming halt.

The bandits stared down at the compound before gathering back together. The trucks picked up the remaining two and the vehicles reversed back over the dunes before they could be heard driving away.

“Looks like they didn’t have the stomach for it,” Carmelita commented.

++Maybe, maybe not. I think I’m going to ask Chip to start working with some shielding tech, if they’d taken a potshot from that distance there’s not much I could have done.++

“Fair enough. How’s our visitor?”

++Still asleep, I think.++

“Right then, I’m going to finish up that ad.”

++You’ve said that at least three times today.++

“Well this time it’ll be true.”

---

It was after Carmelita had posted the recruitment ad on several sites across the Dataverse and begun eating a small dry tart from the nutrient synthesiser that Sombra reappeared in the mess hall, looking a world better. His coat and hair were groomed and clean, and his red horn was polished and free of sand.

“Hello there! Sleep well?”

[James Knight]

The bath and the nap had been a miracle. Softness like that of the bed was something that King Sombra was definitely incorporating into his new home wherever he decided to place it. The individual known as "Carmelita Sly Cooper" was nice and he might even let her pet him. Unlike that little girl she didn't try to force herself on him without his consent. Even with the miraculous nap and shower that he had,  King Sombra's tendons and hooves were still sore. Of course the running from the bandits that he had done beforehand, practically when he first arrived in the Omniverse was going to be a problem because of how sore and miserable it had made him. 

"Yes. It was a nice nap I had, until I heard a loud blast of some sort. Tell me, does this place have magic cannons?" 

King Sombra was determined to locate the source of that noise, and be prepared to deal with it. 

"Admittedly I checked the Dataverse again. While I still can't figure it out I've learned that you have posted an advertisement." 

Carmelita said. "Yes, that's for a law enforcement group we're setting up." 

A law enforcement group could be a stepping stone to the power King Sombra was going to need. With how weak he was right now, allies were definitely something he needed. Going up against Dead Pool scared him a little to be totally honest, from her description of him. The closest his world had to such a person would be the magic stealing monster Tirek, if he had been fused with both Discord and Sombra. The idea made him shudder a little in complete fear, but he was able to calm himself down. 

King Sombra paused as he considered it.  "Normally I will not allow this, but if you wish to pet me you may. Since I have no other way to repay you..." said King Sombra. "I would also be willing to 'consult' with you about magical threats,  that is when I have gotten most of my strength back you point me in the direction of said threat. I go there with you and take out the threat. I do need to learn more about this "Technology." 

He'd pause for a moment. "Also if you are able,  would you be willing to teach me how to do that invisibility trick you pulled? It would certainly come in handy, especially if I were to run into those lowlifes again...." 

[Carmelita]

Carmelita smiled and shook her head.

“No payment necessary, though having a magic expert on speed dial would certainly be of assistance.”

Sombra nodded and brought out his crystal ball, placing it on the surface of the table and focusing on it to make it glow. Symbols and colours began to whirl around it and he looked over to Carmelita expectantly.

She closed down her eyepieces and removed her earpieces, running the communicator syncing program as she touched them to the glowing black circle that floated in front of her. Sombra’s crystal ball faded back to clear crystal at the same time that her earpieces pinged to inform her of the new contact.

“It is good to see the arcane can interact with your technology,” the stallion said, curiously. “I must confess it took me a while to realise you were using those eyepieces to look into the Dataverse as I do through my ball.”

Carmelita put her earpieces back on and re-engaged the eyepieces before nodding.

“That’s pretty accurate. You were asking about other technologies as well, weren’t you?”

“I heard something similar to cannonfire earlier and your ability to fade in and out of existence impressed me. Are both of these things also accomplished through this ‘technology’ of yours?”

Carmelita nodded, silently musing on how much she should reveal. The fact that her collar was her cloaking device was something she’d rather keep to as few people as possible, but the autoturrets would be pretty hard to hide.

“If you want to see what made those noises, I can show you the results.”

“Please.”

---

The two of them soon found themselves climbing the dunes. The sun was setting, casting its scarlet light across the base and starkly silhouetting the four autoturrets that stood at each corner of the base.

The two of them walked slowly up the dunes, Carmelita informing Sombra of the various pitfalls of browsing the internet, or in this case the Dataverse.

“...and so these ‘Princes’ that keep requesting they leverage the security of my coffers are in fact con stallions? What wretches.”

“Well, at least you’re aware of the possibility. Do you even have a bank account? No, nevermind, we’re here.”

The two of them came to a stop next to the burnt out wreck of the buggy. Sombra examined it with confusion.

“This looks like some form of cart, but I cannot see the reins or the place for the pullers to harness themselves.”

“It is, was, a self-propelled vehicle. We think it was driven by some of the same bandits that attacked you, though of course we can’t be certain since they fled. Still, if we step away I can show you the capabilities of the autoturrets.”

As they stepped back, the stallion looked over at the four spheres held up on the pylons.

“I did think them guard-towers. You say that the turrets are in fact auto?”

“It means they can fire by themselves. Fire at the buggy, three shots.”

The nearest tower lit up, the red and green lines difficult to make out against the glare of the sun. Three bursts of red energy struck the vehicle’s remains, scorching the engine block and setting one of the tires on fire.

Sombra turned to Carmelita, an impressed expression across his muzzle.

“Their aim is commendable, given you brought us this close without fear of being hit.”

Carmelita nodded.

“It’s definitely a start, but the base is still being worked on. At the moment, enough attackers with heavy weapons could probably take out the turrets quite quickly, and then we’d be down to individual combat.”

The two of them headed back down the slope, leaving the burning buggy behind.

---

Once back in the mess hall, Carmelita excused herself for a moment to fetch the maps she’d printed out earlier to hand to Sombra.

“Here you go, some maps and environmental details for the Omniverse. Hope they help you avoid getting lost again.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome to stay the night, though I would ask you head off tomorrow. We’ve got to get the base ready for the recruits, and whilst I’m happy to have you as a consultant I’d rather get their heads on straight first.”

“That sounds excellent. I must say, your hospitality has been most enjoyable.”

Carmelita grinned.

“Just helping out someone who was in a bit of trouble. Practically my job description.”

[James Knight]

"If I had the ability to enchant items still,  I could provide you something that might help. Of course it depends on if you wanted any attackers to be psychologically scarred or not from being forced to live their worst fears."  

King Sombra said this as he looked at her. Carmelita seemed trustworthy and was nice enough to open her home to him, when he needed it the most. A note to himself was made that he was going to later hunt down those bandits.  "As it is, I lack the bulk of the abilities that I had in the past. I've only gotten back a few of my powers, I can't even go into my shadow form yet."  When he saw the vehicle burn because of the auto turrets he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt his next base was definitely going to have six of those.  "Wherever I decide to stay is definitely having auto turrets and air conditioning as well as refrigerated water. Thank you for showing me such wonders? Are there more wonders to technology?"

He'd pause for a moment.

"Carmelita Sly-Cooper, you have truly proven yourself worthy of my friendship on this day. Not only did you rescue me from those bandits, but you have provided me new experiences that didn't exist in my world. Technology alone will be something that I will have to study, and learn more about." 

He'd sigh as he realized. "I'd better start heading out before those bandits get bold enough to try any more attempts to remove my head from my shoulders or to boil me alive.... I despise them trying to turn me into "Pony Stew" which is a lesson they need to learn will have consequences. The science behind your "Auto Turrets" interests me. Possessing such technology at my new home would discourage the bandits. " 

The next morning,  King Sombra woke well before dawn could even break the horizon. Going outside he attempted to make an airconditioned chariot. His attempts to make the magical chariot that was air-conditioned and had a food dispenser in it that due to magic kept the food cool until he needed it as well as the water inside it were less than successful. 

"Why can't I figure this out?" 

[Carmelita]

After spending the night in a dreamless sleep, Carmelita woke up in the Control Tower and noted the reply from Hiro on her eyepieces. She spent a decent amount of time writing the reply, so when she finally got out of the hammock Chip and Al3x had already gotten a head start on the morning.

“Any word from our guest?” she asked Al3x over the comms.

++Yes. The stallion appears to be trying to assemble some kind of vehicle out in the space by the garage. Chip is practically biting her nails over all the things he’s putting in the wrong places.++

“On my way.”

She descended the steps and emerged into the mid-morning heat, heading towards the hangar. As she neared, she saw the purple-furred tri-eye and the AI lurking behind a corner, watching their guest discretely with varying levels of interest. Carmelita gestured for Chip to follow her as she approached the stallion.

“Good morning, Sombra!” she called as the two of them approached.

“Good morning, Inspector,” Came the reply from the stallion as he began pushing more omnilium into the vehicle. “I don’t suppose you have any experience in making vehicles work, do you?”

“Not personally,” she replied. “But one of my co-workers does. Sombra, meet Chip. Chip, Sombra.”

The stallion looked up to see that a purple furred girl with three eyes on her face was staring at his attempt at transportation with ill-disguised interest. He hesitantly held out a hoof.

“Good to meet you.”

“Same. Mind if I have a look? Thanks.”

Chip brushed past his hoof with a cursory nod and began analysing Sombra’s vehicle. Whilst the stallion seemed about to take offence, the vixen extended a hand to halt his words and gestured to wait a moment.

It was a four wheeled enclosed chariot, almost a battle wagon. A large box on the top appeared to be trying to cool down the air inside, but the air intake vents were crossing over with the piping for some kind of dispenser that was interfering with both that and the reins that appeared to control the large harness that hung suspended in mid air in front of the vehicle.

The tri-eye grabbed a pad of paper from her belt and set about frantically sketching a simple redesign. The boxy structure became streamlined, the box cooling the air inside lowered itself to the front and supported the reins whilst the dispenser construct moved to be next to the seats that she sketched in along the back of the wagon. Quick labels of springs provided the diagram with a decent suspension, and she turned to provide the stallion’s still outstretched hoof with the drawing.

“Try that,” she said, cheerily. “It also frees up some space for mounting stuff on the roof or on the sides given the rugged construction.”

Sombra blinked and gave Chip a look before reshaping the vehicle with his omnilium. Black sparks of magic flickered into life under the harness, forming into dark imitations of his form, and soon the vehicle came properly into existence.

Sombra gave a relieved smile to the two bipeds and opened up the door at the rear, climbing the crystal steps that descended from the back before disappearing again.

“Thank you very much for your hospitality. I will stay in touch, but now, I must go have a little chat with the makers of that damnable site. Fare thee well.”

With that, he closed the door to the rear and took the reins, flicking them and encouraging the magical constructs to pull the vehicle out and away from the compound. As he crested the ridge and faded from sight, Chip turned to Carmelita.

“What a nice man.”