Omniverse Entertainment Newsletter

[Guu]

Omniwood has released some new info of some of the shows and movies that are coming in the next few months.

Excitement is high with the upcoming release of Law and Orker. Audiences are waiting with bated breath to see what the directors of such programs like Professor Why and Mount Parrot and the Quest of the Silver Fork might churn out with their latest show. However, the biggest appeal is the main stars and executive producers, Anthony Lomonaco and Urgh Gholorz.
Urgh was an orc stage actor from Camelot. Faced with oppression, he hit the Nexus to find something new. What he found was Anthony, a newly taken prime at the time. The two would come up with the concept that would make the spine of Law and Orker. A chance encounter with Omniwood execs would change their worlds in one night, and their ideas were set in motion.
The show follows the titular characters as they solve crimes while dealing with the differences of their races. The directors’ claim they’ve shot all over the Omniverse and the many sights and sounds of the different verses will serve as the backdrop for what is a complex crime drama.
We eagerly await the premiere of Law & Orker when it comes out in the coming weeks.

The show Prime of Life created by the prolific Jenkins siblings is sold to explore the line between Primes and Secondaries. It’s a comedy sitcom following a prime husband, his secondary wife, and their secondary kids. They promise the show will explore what it means to be a family in the Omniverse while poking light natured fun at the concept.
The show was set to premier spring of last year, but a number of actors quit during shooting for currently unknown reasons. The project delayed even further when the youngest of the siblings, Leroy died in temple raid last fall. Despite the set backs, the show creators promise that it won’t affect overall quality. In fact, they claim the additional time in production has allowed them to really think what family means to them.
Prime of Life is set to premiere sometime in Spring.

Media has been a buzz about the new horror flick coming out this weekend, Grow. The film follows a 12-year-old who is magically turned into a 25-year-old. Camelot sends the horrible dementors to consume his soul because they want to suppress the magic he apparently has. So it’s a race to escape to the safety of the Empire as all manner of evil come from the shadows to get him.
The Coruscant Film Company produced the film and it leans heavily on the star power of its lead actor, Johnson Jones, who’s featured prominently in most film posters and commercials. So much so that many test audiences had no idea what the film was about before they saw it.
“I think the mystique of the film comes from the fact that you don’t know what it’s about going in,” claims film’s director Steve Paul. “I mean, if you don’t know dementors were going to be featured prominently, you wouldn’t be able to mentally prepare yourself. I mean, everyone’s afraid of dementors. That’s why no one goes to Camelot anymore.”
Grow will premiere on the Dataverse this coming weekend.

[Guu]

The Unexpected Audience of Magic Based Phones[float=right][/float]

By: Anne Ritkin

Last year, companies Sony, Pantasonic, and Rite Stuff Entertainment made history by releasing what would be the first wave in magic based phones. It was the latest attempt from developers of dataverse devices and communicators to get Camelotians hooked on the Omniverse’s favorite pass time. Polls at the start of last year stated that less than 10% of Camelotians even know about the dataverse, no less actually owning a smart phone.

The phone used the latest in Crystal technology, a magic based gemstone found in the Frozen Plains. It uses very similar inner workings to the “Gamer-P100” video game console device that released last month. Because of said technology, the phone even has holographic functionality.

To make it feel less like something built in a factory, they intentionally engraved a wood grain texture into the metal casing. Also, they made sure that all functions made a audible “woosh” sound to make it sound more magic based.

While the device has been selling like hotcakes, it did not have the intended audience they initially wanted. While the phone is doing well in Minas Tirith and Dalaran and managed to get a full endorsement from the usually technology fearing Princess Bonbon Sunshine, it’s almost non-existent everywhere else in the verse.

So who has been buying these devices? Believe it or not, mostly Orcs.




[float=left][/float]
Grubada
Grubada goin’ on date with Haggary. Haggary got nice ass. Grabada likes nice ass. #gettingsome




[float=left][/float]
Geeroy Graggins
Hahaha, human army has pony fighting for them. This should be easy! Chargin’ in! #sillyhumans




Yep, many of the Orcs of the Tangled are raving about the Dataverse, largely taken to twitter and reddit. They seem to be having a fun time, making hashtags, spreading memes. They aren’t the only non-human group buying the device either; the second biggest buyers being Trolls followed closely by Pokemon.

It is unknown why this phone in particular would be popular amongst such groups, but many philosophers believe this is a good thing. More and more people whom we’ve written off as the villains of the Omniverse are finally getting a voice in the mainstream. And while that’s mostly just to share cat videos, only good things could come from open communication in the long run…

…maybe…

[Guu]

First Ambrosian Movie "Guu" Announced [float=right][/float]

Film fans were taken off guard yesterday when Ambrosia Studios announced they were releasing a biopic on their pink-haired leader. The film's director and head of Ambrosia Studios, Sylveon, spoke about the film this morning: "We've done a number of commercials and short films but we thought it was time to do something bigger! We weren't sure what we'd make our first feature length movie about until we decided the first Ambrosian movie should be about our beloved Princess!"

The film will be about her first month or so in the Omniverse, starting when she first got taken by Omni to when Ambrosia was first established. Madelyn Aroma was already cast as the title role. "She was a bit of a gamble as she's a bit old for the part, but wait till you see her on screen!" Sylveon says. Stacy Hellen has been cast to play as Guu's friend Desco, and Quincy Amms will be playing the role of a samurai that accompanied the princess in her early adventures.

When asked if he will be taking liberties with the story, the director said: "I've had to made quite a few modifications to make the story more cohesive, but I promise that fans of Guu will be pleasently surprised!"

Interestly, Ambrosia's rival, Berry Blitzkrieg recently announced that they'll also be releasing a movie. It appears to be a romance film and it's simply titled "Justice." It is unknown at this time if the film announcement is a direct response to Ambrosia's upcoming release.

[Guu]

Popular Conspiracy Theorist Arrested on Prostitution Charges

Henry Falsatto, author of the absurdly popular conspiracytheoristblog.com was arrested yesterday by Costa Del Sol police. According to local authorities, he was using his blog to sell his body to other male members of his audience claiming that his ejaculate can cure homosexuality.

“It was for medical purposes!” Cried Henry as he was dragged away. “I’m not a gay prostitute! I do it for people’s health!”

The judge refuses to review his case until he gets a full psych evaluation by a professional. Until then, he’ll be waiting in the short term jail cell down by Guerrero Street.

Those interested in his case, his fans have established a Kickstarter to cover his bail money.