04-23-2016, 04:43 PM
(This post was last modified: 04-23-2016, 04:52 PM by Stuart Gillman-Street.)
Life is a lot like a lottery, but Stuart Gillman-Street was never sure whether he was a winner or not. Whether the former or the latter were true, it was clear Stu had an eventful life, but never had one great event led onto so many others before, and it was unlikely it would happen again. For life isn't the only thing like a lottery- the Fegensulan National Lottery was a lot like a lottery too. In fact, you could say it is exactly like one. Because it is one.
It was the early summer of 2018 when the news finally came to Stu and his girlfriend, Christine McDouglass, known by practically everyone as simply Tina, that they had won the Lottery, winning a total sum of £200,000 (which may not sound like a great sum of money, but works out to be around £4.8 million in English money). One of the hidden perks of winning the lottery, Stu and Tina were quick to find, is that apart from the odd mention in a newspaper or maybe one news story if you win in the millions, nobody really cares that you win the lottery, so it's money sans social pressure from strangers. In fact, unless you waste all of your money on drugs and find yourself worse off than when you started, you may very well never appear in the public eye.
Within a month, Stu and Tina had negotiated a deal to give their four friends- Stanley Arinson, Lennon Nesmith, Julius Adrian Randall, and Paige Caulfield- a room in their new behemoth of a house, and in return the bills get paid. As soon as they received their money, the two immediately bought the house of their dreams, the six-room house of 27 Chapman Road, that sat at the end of a cobbled pathway on the corner of a rural suburb of similar houses. The street was in the south-west outskirts of the city of Aweriton, which was itself south of the county of Woldshire, which formed part of Fegensula's east border, and lay next to the capital, Larger Cynton.
After Stu and Tina's spending, on not only the house but also on a car- a 1906 Palin Rhapsody- and various items of furniture, they were left with a rather awkward figure of £22046/18/- left over to spend how they saw fit, the two decided to save it instead of squandering the rest. So, they invited their friends to live in their house so they didn’t have to spend all of their saving and, after that, go into debt.
***
Stuart waited at the entrance hall of 27 Chapman Road with his arm out, anticipating the placement of coats and the shaking of hands. While his girlfriend, would greet their friends outside the house, Stuart would greet them inside and took their suitcases. A muffled conversation could be heard from beyond the closed door. Stu began to slick back his spiked blue head of hair, but furrowed his brow and looked at his hand as if to say, "Who the hell am I trying to impress?". Shortly afterwards, the dark oak door swung open, and in stepped four people accompanied by a chatter and the trundling of four suitcases, and the exact four he was expecting.
"Hey, guys, how're ya doing? Welcome, come on inside. Can I take your- coats...?" Stu inquired, as he realised none of them were wearing coats. Stu supposed that made sense, seeing as it was 5 o'clock in the middle of July- he hoped no-one noticed as he attempted to keep a straight face. That was the thing about the Stu- he always meant well, and he had a brain the size of a small moon, but had zero common sense, and usually spoke before thinking.
"We'll be... fine." Paige had noticed. "Anyway, hey!"
"Hey." the others chorused.
"Alright. While I set up down here, your rooms are upstairs- I trust you to designate your own rooms. Well, most of you." Instantaneously, Len, Jules and Paige darted their eyes on Stan, who rolled his own eyes in return. As the four plodded up the stairs, Stu went to the orange-tinged outdoors to bring Tina inside. She, unlike Stu, was more thoughtful and calculated, although not above the somewhat childish antics of her friends.
"Things're going well so far." Stu said as he walked down the straight, cobbled entrance from the house.
"Uh-huh. Just one snag- how the hell are we all gonna get around?" she questioned.
"We've got the Rhapsody, and that's a six-seater."
"Yeah, but there's like a cubic foot of spare space, and it expels more steam than a sauna made for locomotives. Can't we get, like a van? Chris' Dealership is just a couple of miles away, and that has a Grozeuge in stock."
"Really?" Stu folded his arms and a condescending look grew on his face. "That pale lilac monstrosity? Could a van be any camper?"
"It was only a-" Tina suddenly interrupted herself. "Wait, what? Camper? Not a bad-"
Almost immediately thereafter, Stan and Paige ran past, with Stan flashing a credit card in his hand.
"Where in the hell are you two going? And is that my credit card?" Tina called out, as the two stopped in their tracks and swivelled around.
"Well, I came out to see what you two were doing and overheard a Camper purchase is in order, so I'm right off! And it's the house's card now." Stan smirked as he continued his dash to the car.
"And I'm following him, because otherwise he'll have bought Cuba by the time he comes back." The two clambered into the Rhapsody, while Paige inserted the key, and sped off, blaring music along the way. Stu and Tina both knew what Stan was like- when he has his heart dead-set on something, it is near impossible to sway him. You would have to practically stage an intervention- one’d think he had an addiction. Paige was thankfully more considerate and conscientious, not only in her decision making, but also in her attitude to others. While she was progressive and very much open minded, she did have a tendency to be a little too forward with her beliefs when she was being opposed. So, they let him go- after all, they were only about £80-90, and what was that compared to > £20,000?
The two walked back into the house to find what Jules and Len were doing, to find neither of them were downstairs. They headed up the wooden narrow stairs set to one side of the hall/living room, and saw the two had picked their respective rooms, and had begun laying their possessions. Len was carefully placing photos of himself, his family, and his friends on his counter, while Jules was in Len's room, helping out, neatly arranged bottles of deodorant and cologne sitting in his bedroom. Len was a sentimental character, who fell out of contact with his parents after he came out as being trans & gay, much to the dismay of his religious mother and father. Still, Len was a resilient character who was never one to give up, nor let things affect him for too long.
"You guys OK?" Stu asked.
"Yeah, thanks." Len replied, and began to point at the photo he had placed, depicting him with Stu, Tina, Stan, Jules and Paige, when he was eight. "Say, does that look like a scratch on the frame?"
"Not really." Stu turned to Jules who, upon closer inspection, wasn't exactly helping as much as he was looking around the room. "You alright, Jules?"
"Yeah, my man. I'm fine, always fine.” This wasn’t too surprising- Julius never seemed to let anything phase him, and always seemed calm, but still willing to play along with whatever the group was up to. Jules reached his hand out, presumably for a high-five, which Stu returned. Tina and he returned to their room, the only one fully decorated. It was looking out onto the garden, and the few houses further out from Aweriton- they were silhouetted by the orange glow of the evening sun that seemed to tint and heat up the flora beneath it.
The dusk light had turned to twilight when Stan and Paige returned with a baby blue Splitscreen T2, which came rolling down the gravel driveway, narrowly missing the large patch of grass bordering the woodland garden. And so, the evening began in Stu and Tina's comfortable living room in their Aweriton house, where the candlelight was just right, the hi-fi was in the background, and the wine was delicious. The two poured drinks and prepared bowls of all sorts, from cosmopolitans and prawns to rum and peanuts. The night progressed, but still the six showed little sign of slowing down- the bowls slowly went empty, drinks upon drinks were poured, and much television was watched. Eventually, as Friday night turned into Saturday, 27 Chapman Road was slowly but surely beginning to mellow as the six deemed it time to sleep at about 3am. When they eventually woke, at around eleven, breakfast was collectively decided against due to time. While the other residents showered, shaved, and- did other things- Stu took a walk into the small woodland area to further survey the garden.
The sunlight shone in slits through the pines onto the shamrock grass that rocked and swayed in place. Stu smirked as he dawdled through the bright boscage, periodically stepping on the odd twig that fell from a tree, making a gentle cracking noise. The serenity of the sight and surroundings was only broken by a black slump on the ground, not close enough to tell what it is, but definitely close enough to tell it is there. Stu approached it cautiously, the ambitious shape morphing into possibility after possibility in his mind as he grew ever closer. Eventually, Stu could see it was a tall, pale, slender man, crumpled face down on the grass, with all manners of scabs, bruises, and injuries on his body, a rucksack on his shoulders, and what looked like bite marks on his scrag, a white patch in the figure of black. What in the hell happened? Most likely animals, he figured, although the fauna in Fegensula wasn't ever this aggressive. Stu nudged the man, but no response came. He tried again, this time harder. Nothing. He violently shook the man, beginning to panic.
Bleary-eyed, he came to.
“Mmh?” he murmured.
“Yo, are you okay?” Stu replied.
“Wh-where am I?”. The man spoke with a rather deep American accent, and Stu saw he looked rather young- younger than him, at least.
“Chapman Road, Aweriton.” The man suddenly woke up, wriggled out of position, and glared at Stuart like he was a serial killer.
“Who are you? Are you one of them? No, no, you’re not. You don’t have the-" the man shakily pointed at Stu's neck, as his became relieved, “no.”
“Sorry, one of who? What do I not have?”
“The b- never mind. I cannot say.”
“Listen,” Stu took the man’s arm and put it around his shoulder. “I’m gonna take you inside.”
The man hobbled inside, alongside Stuart. Within a few minutes, he was sat down on the settee, with an ice pack placed on his forehead. Stu thought it right to alert the other members of the household.
“Guys!?” he called. “You might wanna come down here!”
“Why?” came a voice from the top floor.
“Because we have a guest!”
“Who the hell is it?” replied the voice.
"Uhh- no idea.”
“So, what are you called? Where do you live? How- how did?” Stuart had a million questions, but chose to ask but a few for fear he would otherwise ramble on for a good three hours, at least.
"Really, thank you, but I must leave." Sage began to stagger as he attempted to leave the room, carrying his bag with him.
"Come on, don't leave. If you need a place to stay for a while, we've got a spare room." Tina called after the man. He turned around in his step, a shade of vulnerability in his visage, like a watermark on a photograph.
"Really?" He began to sit on the settee again and place his bag back down. "Well, while I'm here, it seems only right that you know who I am. My name is Bradd- that's with two Ds- Eiichi Sage, but I am known by most by my surname."
"Sage? The hell kind of- why Sage?" Julius snarkily piped in. "Was it heavy-handed ancestral self-gratification, or just a misplaced celebration of herbs?"
"You'd be surprised how accurate your first explanation is. Anyway, I was born in Fegensula in '92, and moved to America at a young age. I returned a few weeks ago to a... less-than-enjoyable experience."
"Yeah, what happened? Was it animals?" Tina queried.
"That, I cannot say. You cannot- you must not know. I can't even say why you must know."
"Can you tell us why that is?"
"N-No." Sage's face became one of condescension and patronising. "Oh, and I don't think I thanked you for allowing me to stay here."
"Oh, that's no problem." Stu cheerily smiled.
"You didn't." Stan remarked at the same time.
After some polite discussion, Sage began to feel more comfortable amongst his benefactors. Stan, however, was feeling rather suspicious- what wasn't Sage telling them? His curiosity was rapidly getting the better of him, and he had to find out however he could. But, how in the hell could he? He would have to approach Stuart to try and pry information from his friend. Luckily enough, when night fell, Stu was alone in the kitchen, holding a half-empty cup of coffee when he was approached.
"Stu?" he began, "Do you kn-"
"No, I will not show you the bag." Stu coldly replied.
"Wh-? I wasn't- come on, why not? Wait, what bag?"
"When you left, Sage told me that no-one must look in his bag. He confided in me the repercussions of opening it. He said it would be 'too much for us.'" Stan then smiled as he grabbed Stu's shoulders.
"Yeah, but doesn't that make you want to see what's in it? Come on!”
“Listen, your Jedi mind tricks aren't gonna work with me. Besides, Sage would never let us in his room."
"Oh, no, Sage left about fifteen minutes ago for... whatever reason." Stu thought for a second, and then looked at Stan with a grin on his face.
"Let's go!"
A lone bag was sat in the middle of Sage's dim bedroom. The opened window blew in not only a ghastly whistling wind, but also the curtains. Stan and Stu both looked at the bag for a few seconds, before Stan ran over to it, and frantically began to open up the zips, swiftly followed by Stuart. They tried the first zip. There was only a set of clothes the top. The two dug through the compartment, but found nothing but clothes. They tried the second zip, but it only had ten or so empty packets of 'haem' tablets, whatever they are- something to combat porphyria, apparently. Finally came the last zip. This must be it. The clue to something so huge and incomprehensible, existential crises are surely afoot. Stu was the one to get to it first, and it contained a Post-It note with what couldn't have been many more than two words on it. Stu and Stan read it aloud.
"Nice try." What in the hell?
"What did I say about the bag?" came a voice from the edge of the room. Sage was stood by the window, with a small orange container much like the bottles found in the bag, vaguely silhouetted by the pale moonlight, baring his incisors. At the sound, Stu and Stan pricked up their ears and panicked.
"S-Sage?” Stu began stuffing the clothing into the bag as quickly as he could. “Hey, we were just-“
“Perusing the contents of my bag? I am aware.” He slowly began to walk towards the two, while looking down his nose. "You see, I am not who you think I am."
"I actually have no idea who you are. You just showed up, and this blue haired idiot offered you a room." Stan said, pointing to Stuart, which was met with an elbow in the ribs.
"Regardless, I knew you two could not be trusted with staying away from my bag, so I would confront you here and tell you truth- a truth I decided you must know if I am living here."
"What is it?" Stan blurted out, as Sage stood over him.
"You certainly are not very patient." Sage began to scratch at the bite marks on his neck, while baring a pair of long pointed fangs. "One may call you a pain in the neck."
Stu and Stan looked once more at the bite marks, only on a second inspection, they looked more like two holes. They were now unsure whether to shriek in terror or groan at Sage's godawful pun.
"Wait." Stu began to realise what was most likely staring him in the face, and had been for a while.
"You're not a-?" Stan too began to realise the truth.
The two clambered for the door screaming like small children, flung it open, and ran into the front room, where Tina, Len and Paige were sat, discussing their respective days.
"Guys! Guys!" Stu panted. "Sage is- he is- he's a-"
"Great house guest?" Len guessed.
"No! Well, I guess he'll grow on me, but that's irrelevant. He's a-"
"Vampire?" Sage had near-miraculously appeared directly behind Stu and Stan, causing the two to yelp.
"Wait, what in the hell are you talking about?" Paige quipped.
"Do you recall when I said my birth year was?" Sage asked the group.
"Yeah, 1992." said Stan, who by this point was standing opposite Stuart, leaving enough space in between to allow visibility of their new vampiric housemate.
"Ah, you are mistaken. I simply said '92, not specifying the century, the fifteenth of which I was born in."
"You're 526?! No, this must be a joke. There is no way you-." Tina began, unwilling to believe and unable to comprehend.
"Nothing gave you any clue? Not my pale complexion, the abnormally lengthy incisors, not even the two holes in my neck?" Sage let out a slow sigh and began to pace up and down the room slowly.
"I suppose it isn't your fault." he continued as the residents of the house listened intently, "The vampires have lived in secrecy for centuries, millennia possibly. The clan I originated from, the Yauche tribe, got its name from its first member, Franklyne Yauche, who broke off from another clan in 973. I was born over 500 years afterwards in Greenthwait Forest and was taken on a purge of humans by my father at the age of 13. It was my first, and last. After witnessing the atrocities my kind committed, I fled the forest in fear of persecution from not only the community, but also from my high-profile parents. I at first moved to a neighbouring county, and moved to a different one every decade or so. Eventually I ran out of places to hide, and I could sense the others were catching up. Looking back, it may have been little more than paranoia, but I felt I needed to go far away. So, in 1671, I left for the New World. Jamestown. There I remained for 347 years, when I thought it safe to return home. However, someone alerted members of my clan, and I ended up in your yard." By this point, Sage had wandered over to the front door, and was blocking it with his tall figure.
"Now that I have told you this, however, I cannot allow you to leave."
"At least not without promising you won't tell anyone." The rest of the housemates mumbled to each other.
"Yeah."
"Sure, whatever."
"Okay."
"I mean it!" Sage pointed at the six.
"We know you do. So do we." Len nodded reassuringly.
"Well, Mr Gillman-Street isn't so good at keeping promises, and nor is his concubine." Sage contradicted, to which Tina protested:
“Hey! I haven’t done anything!”
“No, I meant Stanley.”
“Hey!” Stu and Stan yelled at the same time.
“Anyway,” continued Sage, "I'll see how much you mean you’ll keep this secretive, because if it turns out word gets out about me, you will not be doing much talking after the fact."
It was around three in the afternoon the following day when Stan ran into the house practically hyperventilating. He was greeted at the door by Paige, who seemed to notice his panicked sweating.
"Stan, you okay?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. Stan grabbed her by the shoulders.
"No. I'm not. No, I'm uh, really.. We need to leave, like right now." he blurted out.
"Jesus, Stan. Just tell me why."
"I- may or may not have mentioned the whole... vampire thing." Paige slapped Stan in the face. "Ow!"
"Good, it was supposed to hurt. You idiot! Why would you-?"
"I'm sorry, OK, I didn't mean to!"
"And that's supposed to make things better? You dolt! Learn to respect people's wishes!"
"This is not a teaching moment- this is a running one."
"What is?" Sage stepped out from behind a corner, almost out of nowhere, and when he did Stan let out a whimper, as his eyes widened.
"Uh, I- ah... I-It was nothing." Sage darted forward at an almost inhuman pace to the space just in front of Stan, and grabbed the neck of his T-shirt.
"What is!?" Sage was close to snarling.
"Oh, Lord. I-I t-told people ab-about you..."
"You fool! I swear to... When was this!?" Sage lifted Stan up so the two were at equal heights.
"About half an hour ago."
"Half an hour? Who knows how quickly the news has-"
"Not at all." Paige interrupted. She was glanced down at her phone after checking online for any breakthrough stories about vampires being spotted. Nothing. Sage's face went from one of rage to a neutral, slightly sheepish one, as he slowly put Stan down, patted his chest twice and let out an 'Oh.'
"I'm, uh, sorry."
Eventually, the seven had found their place in and became comfortable with the house. Stu was now closer to his job at the variety club The Vaude; Tina took on Sage as her assistant in her own florists, dubbed Floral Shoppe; Stan returned to his job as the bassist for the group he formed in his years in university, Sweet And/Or Sour, although stayed at home for most of the day; Paige returned to being an estate agent for the Sutcliffe & Best Agency; Len returned to being a guidance counsellor for LGBT+ teenagers; and Jules was once again sioux chef at the local restaurant, Schwechter’s . Everything seemed fine for the seven, and they all seemed to think that things were looking up or each of them, but the truth was that life is a lot like a lottery, and Stu was due for a loss.
It was the early summer of 2018 when the news finally came to Stu and his girlfriend, Christine McDouglass, known by practically everyone as simply Tina, that they had won the Lottery, winning a total sum of £200,000 (which may not sound like a great sum of money, but works out to be around £4.8 million in English money). One of the hidden perks of winning the lottery, Stu and Tina were quick to find, is that apart from the odd mention in a newspaper or maybe one news story if you win in the millions, nobody really cares that you win the lottery, so it's money sans social pressure from strangers. In fact, unless you waste all of your money on drugs and find yourself worse off than when you started, you may very well never appear in the public eye.
Within a month, Stu and Tina had negotiated a deal to give their four friends- Stanley Arinson, Lennon Nesmith, Julius Adrian Randall, and Paige Caulfield- a room in their new behemoth of a house, and in return the bills get paid. As soon as they received their money, the two immediately bought the house of their dreams, the six-room house of 27 Chapman Road, that sat at the end of a cobbled pathway on the corner of a rural suburb of similar houses. The street was in the south-west outskirts of the city of Aweriton, which was itself south of the county of Woldshire, which formed part of Fegensula's east border, and lay next to the capital, Larger Cynton.
After Stu and Tina's spending, on not only the house but also on a car- a 1906 Palin Rhapsody- and various items of furniture, they were left with a rather awkward figure of £22046/18/- left over to spend how they saw fit, the two decided to save it instead of squandering the rest. So, they invited their friends to live in their house so they didn’t have to spend all of their saving and, after that, go into debt.
***
Stuart waited at the entrance hall of 27 Chapman Road with his arm out, anticipating the placement of coats and the shaking of hands. While his girlfriend, would greet their friends outside the house, Stuart would greet them inside and took their suitcases. A muffled conversation could be heard from beyond the closed door. Stu began to slick back his spiked blue head of hair, but furrowed his brow and looked at his hand as if to say, "Who the hell am I trying to impress?". Shortly afterwards, the dark oak door swung open, and in stepped four people accompanied by a chatter and the trundling of four suitcases, and the exact four he was expecting.
"Hey, guys, how're ya doing? Welcome, come on inside. Can I take your- coats...?" Stu inquired, as he realised none of them were wearing coats. Stu supposed that made sense, seeing as it was 5 o'clock in the middle of July- he hoped no-one noticed as he attempted to keep a straight face. That was the thing about the Stu- he always meant well, and he had a brain the size of a small moon, but had zero common sense, and usually spoke before thinking.
"We'll be... fine." Paige had noticed. "Anyway, hey!"
"Hey." the others chorused.
"Alright. While I set up down here, your rooms are upstairs- I trust you to designate your own rooms. Well, most of you." Instantaneously, Len, Jules and Paige darted their eyes on Stan, who rolled his own eyes in return. As the four plodded up the stairs, Stu went to the orange-tinged outdoors to bring Tina inside. She, unlike Stu, was more thoughtful and calculated, although not above the somewhat childish antics of her friends.
"Things're going well so far." Stu said as he walked down the straight, cobbled entrance from the house.
"Uh-huh. Just one snag- how the hell are we all gonna get around?" she questioned.
"We've got the Rhapsody, and that's a six-seater."
"Yeah, but there's like a cubic foot of spare space, and it expels more steam than a sauna made for locomotives. Can't we get, like a van? Chris' Dealership is just a couple of miles away, and that has a Grozeuge in stock."
"Really?" Stu folded his arms and a condescending look grew on his face. "That pale lilac monstrosity? Could a van be any camper?"
"It was only a-" Tina suddenly interrupted herself. "Wait, what? Camper? Not a bad-"
Almost immediately thereafter, Stan and Paige ran past, with Stan flashing a credit card in his hand.
"Where in the hell are you two going? And is that my credit card?" Tina called out, as the two stopped in their tracks and swivelled around.
"Well, I came out to see what you two were doing and overheard a Camper purchase is in order, so I'm right off! And it's the house's card now." Stan smirked as he continued his dash to the car.
"And I'm following him, because otherwise he'll have bought Cuba by the time he comes back." The two clambered into the Rhapsody, while Paige inserted the key, and sped off, blaring music along the way. Stu and Tina both knew what Stan was like- when he has his heart dead-set on something, it is near impossible to sway him. You would have to practically stage an intervention- one’d think he had an addiction. Paige was thankfully more considerate and conscientious, not only in her decision making, but also in her attitude to others. While she was progressive and very much open minded, she did have a tendency to be a little too forward with her beliefs when she was being opposed. So, they let him go- after all, they were only about £80-90, and what was that compared to > £20,000?
The two walked back into the house to find what Jules and Len were doing, to find neither of them were downstairs. They headed up the wooden narrow stairs set to one side of the hall/living room, and saw the two had picked their respective rooms, and had begun laying their possessions. Len was carefully placing photos of himself, his family, and his friends on his counter, while Jules was in Len's room, helping out, neatly arranged bottles of deodorant and cologne sitting in his bedroom. Len was a sentimental character, who fell out of contact with his parents after he came out as being trans & gay, much to the dismay of his religious mother and father. Still, Len was a resilient character who was never one to give up, nor let things affect him for too long.
"You guys OK?" Stu asked.
"Yeah, thanks." Len replied, and began to point at the photo he had placed, depicting him with Stu, Tina, Stan, Jules and Paige, when he was eight. "Say, does that look like a scratch on the frame?"
"Not really." Stu turned to Jules who, upon closer inspection, wasn't exactly helping as much as he was looking around the room. "You alright, Jules?"
"Yeah, my man. I'm fine, always fine.” This wasn’t too surprising- Julius never seemed to let anything phase him, and always seemed calm, but still willing to play along with whatever the group was up to. Jules reached his hand out, presumably for a high-five, which Stu returned. Tina and he returned to their room, the only one fully decorated. It was looking out onto the garden, and the few houses further out from Aweriton- they were silhouetted by the orange glow of the evening sun that seemed to tint and heat up the flora beneath it.
The dusk light had turned to twilight when Stan and Paige returned with a baby blue Splitscreen T2, which came rolling down the gravel driveway, narrowly missing the large patch of grass bordering the woodland garden. And so, the evening began in Stu and Tina's comfortable living room in their Aweriton house, where the candlelight was just right, the hi-fi was in the background, and the wine was delicious. The two poured drinks and prepared bowls of all sorts, from cosmopolitans and prawns to rum and peanuts. The night progressed, but still the six showed little sign of slowing down- the bowls slowly went empty, drinks upon drinks were poured, and much television was watched. Eventually, as Friday night turned into Saturday, 27 Chapman Road was slowly but surely beginning to mellow as the six deemed it time to sleep at about 3am. When they eventually woke, at around eleven, breakfast was collectively decided against due to time. While the other residents showered, shaved, and- did other things- Stu took a walk into the small woodland area to further survey the garden.
The sunlight shone in slits through the pines onto the shamrock grass that rocked and swayed in place. Stu smirked as he dawdled through the bright boscage, periodically stepping on the odd twig that fell from a tree, making a gentle cracking noise. The serenity of the sight and surroundings was only broken by a black slump on the ground, not close enough to tell what it is, but definitely close enough to tell it is there. Stu approached it cautiously, the ambitious shape morphing into possibility after possibility in his mind as he grew ever closer. Eventually, Stu could see it was a tall, pale, slender man, crumpled face down on the grass, with all manners of scabs, bruises, and injuries on his body, a rucksack on his shoulders, and what looked like bite marks on his scrag, a white patch in the figure of black. What in the hell happened? Most likely animals, he figured, although the fauna in Fegensula wasn't ever this aggressive. Stu nudged the man, but no response came. He tried again, this time harder. Nothing. He violently shook the man, beginning to panic.
Bleary-eyed, he came to.
“Mmh?” he murmured.
“Yo, are you okay?” Stu replied.
“Wh-where am I?”. The man spoke with a rather deep American accent, and Stu saw he looked rather young- younger than him, at least.
“Chapman Road, Aweriton.” The man suddenly woke up, wriggled out of position, and glared at Stuart like he was a serial killer.
“Who are you? Are you one of them? No, no, you’re not. You don’t have the-" the man shakily pointed at Stu's neck, as his became relieved, “no.”
“Sorry, one of who? What do I not have?”
“The b- never mind. I cannot say.”
“Listen,” Stu took the man’s arm and put it around his shoulder. “I’m gonna take you inside.”
The man hobbled inside, alongside Stuart. Within a few minutes, he was sat down on the settee, with an ice pack placed on his forehead. Stu thought it right to alert the other members of the household.
“Guys!?” he called. “You might wanna come down here!”
“Why?” came a voice from the top floor.
“Because we have a guest!”
“Who the hell is it?” replied the voice.
"Uhh- no idea.”
“So, what are you called? Where do you live? How- how did?” Stuart had a million questions, but chose to ask but a few for fear he would otherwise ramble on for a good three hours, at least.
"Really, thank you, but I must leave." Sage began to stagger as he attempted to leave the room, carrying his bag with him.
"Come on, don't leave. If you need a place to stay for a while, we've got a spare room." Tina called after the man. He turned around in his step, a shade of vulnerability in his visage, like a watermark on a photograph.
"Really?" He began to sit on the settee again and place his bag back down. "Well, while I'm here, it seems only right that you know who I am. My name is Bradd- that's with two Ds- Eiichi Sage, but I am known by most by my surname."
"Sage? The hell kind of- why Sage?" Julius snarkily piped in. "Was it heavy-handed ancestral self-gratification, or just a misplaced celebration of herbs?"
"You'd be surprised how accurate your first explanation is. Anyway, I was born in Fegensula in '92, and moved to America at a young age. I returned a few weeks ago to a... less-than-enjoyable experience."
"Yeah, what happened? Was it animals?" Tina queried.
"That, I cannot say. You cannot- you must not know. I can't even say why you must know."
"Can you tell us why that is?"
"N-No." Sage's face became one of condescension and patronising. "Oh, and I don't think I thanked you for allowing me to stay here."
"Oh, that's no problem." Stu cheerily smiled.
"You didn't." Stan remarked at the same time.
After some polite discussion, Sage began to feel more comfortable amongst his benefactors. Stan, however, was feeling rather suspicious- what wasn't Sage telling them? His curiosity was rapidly getting the better of him, and he had to find out however he could. But, how in the hell could he? He would have to approach Stuart to try and pry information from his friend. Luckily enough, when night fell, Stu was alone in the kitchen, holding a half-empty cup of coffee when he was approached.
"Stu?" he began, "Do you kn-"
"No, I will not show you the bag." Stu coldly replied.
"Wh-? I wasn't- come on, why not? Wait, what bag?"
"When you left, Sage told me that no-one must look in his bag. He confided in me the repercussions of opening it. He said it would be 'too much for us.'" Stan then smiled as he grabbed Stu's shoulders.
"Yeah, but doesn't that make you want to see what's in it? Come on!”
“Listen, your Jedi mind tricks aren't gonna work with me. Besides, Sage would never let us in his room."
"Oh, no, Sage left about fifteen minutes ago for... whatever reason." Stu thought for a second, and then looked at Stan with a grin on his face.
"Let's go!"
A lone bag was sat in the middle of Sage's dim bedroom. The opened window blew in not only a ghastly whistling wind, but also the curtains. Stan and Stu both looked at the bag for a few seconds, before Stan ran over to it, and frantically began to open up the zips, swiftly followed by Stuart. They tried the first zip. There was only a set of clothes the top. The two dug through the compartment, but found nothing but clothes. They tried the second zip, but it only had ten or so empty packets of 'haem' tablets, whatever they are- something to combat porphyria, apparently. Finally came the last zip. This must be it. The clue to something so huge and incomprehensible, existential crises are surely afoot. Stu was the one to get to it first, and it contained a Post-It note with what couldn't have been many more than two words on it. Stu and Stan read it aloud.
"Nice try." What in the hell?
"What did I say about the bag?" came a voice from the edge of the room. Sage was stood by the window, with a small orange container much like the bottles found in the bag, vaguely silhouetted by the pale moonlight, baring his incisors. At the sound, Stu and Stan pricked up their ears and panicked.
"S-Sage?” Stu began stuffing the clothing into the bag as quickly as he could. “Hey, we were just-“
“Perusing the contents of my bag? I am aware.” He slowly began to walk towards the two, while looking down his nose. "You see, I am not who you think I am."
"I actually have no idea who you are. You just showed up, and this blue haired idiot offered you a room." Stan said, pointing to Stuart, which was met with an elbow in the ribs.
"Regardless, I knew you two could not be trusted with staying away from my bag, so I would confront you here and tell you truth- a truth I decided you must know if I am living here."
"What is it?" Stan blurted out, as Sage stood over him.
"You certainly are not very patient." Sage began to scratch at the bite marks on his neck, while baring a pair of long pointed fangs. "One may call you a pain in the neck."
Stu and Stan looked once more at the bite marks, only on a second inspection, they looked more like two holes. They were now unsure whether to shriek in terror or groan at Sage's godawful pun.
"Wait." Stu began to realise what was most likely staring him in the face, and had been for a while.
"You're not a-?" Stan too began to realise the truth.
The two clambered for the door screaming like small children, flung it open, and ran into the front room, where Tina, Len and Paige were sat, discussing their respective days.
"Guys! Guys!" Stu panted. "Sage is- he is- he's a-"
"Great house guest?" Len guessed.
"No! Well, I guess he'll grow on me, but that's irrelevant. He's a-"
"Vampire?" Sage had near-miraculously appeared directly behind Stu and Stan, causing the two to yelp.
"Wait, what in the hell are you talking about?" Paige quipped.
"Do you recall when I said my birth year was?" Sage asked the group.
"Yeah, 1992." said Stan, who by this point was standing opposite Stuart, leaving enough space in between to allow visibility of their new vampiric housemate.
"Ah, you are mistaken. I simply said '92, not specifying the century, the fifteenth of which I was born in."
"You're 526?! No, this must be a joke. There is no way you-." Tina began, unwilling to believe and unable to comprehend.
"Nothing gave you any clue? Not my pale complexion, the abnormally lengthy incisors, not even the two holes in my neck?" Sage let out a slow sigh and began to pace up and down the room slowly.
"I suppose it isn't your fault." he continued as the residents of the house listened intently, "The vampires have lived in secrecy for centuries, millennia possibly. The clan I originated from, the Yauche tribe, got its name from its first member, Franklyne Yauche, who broke off from another clan in 973. I was born over 500 years afterwards in Greenthwait Forest and was taken on a purge of humans by my father at the age of 13. It was my first, and last. After witnessing the atrocities my kind committed, I fled the forest in fear of persecution from not only the community, but also from my high-profile parents. I at first moved to a neighbouring county, and moved to a different one every decade or so. Eventually I ran out of places to hide, and I could sense the others were catching up. Looking back, it may have been little more than paranoia, but I felt I needed to go far away. So, in 1671, I left for the New World. Jamestown. There I remained for 347 years, when I thought it safe to return home. However, someone alerted members of my clan, and I ended up in your yard." By this point, Sage had wandered over to the front door, and was blocking it with his tall figure.
"Now that I have told you this, however, I cannot allow you to leave."
"At least not without promising you won't tell anyone." The rest of the housemates mumbled to each other.
"Yeah."
"Sure, whatever."
"Okay."
"I mean it!" Sage pointed at the six.
"We know you do. So do we." Len nodded reassuringly.
"Well, Mr Gillman-Street isn't so good at keeping promises, and nor is his concubine." Sage contradicted, to which Tina protested:
“Hey! I haven’t done anything!”
“No, I meant Stanley.”
“Hey!” Stu and Stan yelled at the same time.
“Anyway,” continued Sage, "I'll see how much you mean you’ll keep this secretive, because if it turns out word gets out about me, you will not be doing much talking after the fact."
It was around three in the afternoon the following day when Stan ran into the house practically hyperventilating. He was greeted at the door by Paige, who seemed to notice his panicked sweating.
"Stan, you okay?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. Stan grabbed her by the shoulders.
"No. I'm not. No, I'm uh, really.. We need to leave, like right now." he blurted out.
"Jesus, Stan. Just tell me why."
"I- may or may not have mentioned the whole... vampire thing." Paige slapped Stan in the face. "Ow!"
"Good, it was supposed to hurt. You idiot! Why would you-?"
"I'm sorry, OK, I didn't mean to!"
"And that's supposed to make things better? You dolt! Learn to respect people's wishes!"
"This is not a teaching moment- this is a running one."
"What is?" Sage stepped out from behind a corner, almost out of nowhere, and when he did Stan let out a whimper, as his eyes widened.
"Uh, I- ah... I-It was nothing." Sage darted forward at an almost inhuman pace to the space just in front of Stan, and grabbed the neck of his T-shirt.
"What is!?" Sage was close to snarling.
"Oh, Lord. I-I t-told people ab-about you..."
"You fool! I swear to... When was this!?" Sage lifted Stan up so the two were at equal heights.
"About half an hour ago."
"Half an hour? Who knows how quickly the news has-"
"Not at all." Paige interrupted. She was glanced down at her phone after checking online for any breakthrough stories about vampires being spotted. Nothing. Sage's face went from one of rage to a neutral, slightly sheepish one, as he slowly put Stan down, patted his chest twice and let out an 'Oh.'
"I'm, uh, sorry."
Eventually, the seven had found their place in and became comfortable with the house. Stu was now closer to his job at the variety club The Vaude; Tina took on Sage as her assistant in her own florists, dubbed Floral Shoppe; Stan returned to his job as the bassist for the group he formed in his years in university, Sweet And/Or Sour, although stayed at home for most of the day; Paige returned to being an estate agent for the Sutcliffe & Best Agency; Len returned to being a guidance counsellor for LGBT+ teenagers; and Jules was once again sioux chef at the local restaurant, Schwechter’s . Everything seemed fine for the seven, and they all seemed to think that things were looking up or each of them, but the truth was that life is a lot like a lottery, and Stu was due for a loss.
Deaths: 0
