Omni-Zerg quest.

[Weiss Deathwind]

>Excellent. Excellent.

>Since we lost a significant portion of our resources with repairing and breeding, I feel like we should scout for more minerals and vespen. Let's do that.



You realize your resources are running a little low. you scout for more resources across the area. you find about four more prospective sites with minerals, three of which have vespene gas. of those, one is rather prolific... but also guarded.


an outpost of the terran confederacy stands nearby, and your zergling only barely goes unnoticed by the tanks, goliaths, bunkers, and missile turrets that make up the bases perimeter.


outside of finding minerals and vespene, your money-focused mind tries to find other sources of valuables.
The terrans have left quite a bit of equipment laying around, after they... died.
The metal and weaponry left behind could probably be inefficiently converted to minerals, or used for some other purpose.
the gas powering their weaponry could also probably be siphoned off within a hatchery nearby.


As you ponder this, you realize the overlord that snickered near you before has continued laughing, almost falling out of the sky laughing at the humor he finds in this macabre display. Moments later, you find the overlord floating slowly towards the town, grabbing what looks like a small party hat and placing it on one of the dead creatures.

[Crocodile]

I wonder if it is possible to graft those weapons onto my Zerglings...

Those sweet resources too! I feel like we need them pretty badly. For now, we'll convert the unguarded sites into new hives and build up some defenses for them. And work on creating a large force to deal with the Terrans guarding the best site. They'll rue the day when they forsook my message of peace and attacked my poor Zerg.

[Erik Vrell]

We need more cash. Focus on mining minerals while the new hives develop.

[Weiss Deathwind]

>I wonder if it is possible to graft those weapons onto my Zerglings...

The idea beckons to you. perhaps if you could give zerglings ranged capabilities...
[spoiler]

[/spoiler]
The idea of zerglings gaining dakka is amazing, but you realize that grafting the weapons onto your zerglings directly would simply lead to a silly gun strapped to their side. but maybe, if you put your mental prowess in handling DNA to the test, you could find some way to incorporate weapons into zerg biology.
You believe if you took the time, you could likely create zerglings with grasper arms that could fire such weapons. these "handlings" would be terrible at melee combat compared to their zergling brethrens as a result. there's a reason the zerg opted for an overall hands-free biology, after all.
alternately, you could morph additional zerg that would be capable of incorporating the weaponry into their own biology - potentially even supplying the ammunition for the weapons from their own body.
While the zerglings could likely incorporate the flamethrowers and small arms you've recovered from the scuffle, however, you're pretty sure the C-14 gauss rifles might have too much recoil to be used by the little critters. Zerglings might be strong, but they're neither heavy nor built to handle recoil. Perhaps if you attached them to a different creature...



>Those sweet resources too! I feel like we need them pretty badly. For now, we'll convert the unguarded sites into new hives and build up some defenses for them. And work on creating a large force to deal with the Terrans guarding the best site. They'll rue the day when they forsook my message of peace and attacked my poor Zerg.

>We need more cash. focus on mining minerals while the new hives develop.


You first put your herculean mental prowess to ensuring that new hatcheries are created near the mineral patches nearby. this also expands the amount of larva you can use to create further zerg, and soon your drones are mining both the new expansions - as well as your existing ones - at maximum efficiency. you also create and stock extractors nearby with drones, increasing your supplies of valuable vespene gas. at this point, you doubt you can pull more minerals in without new mining sites, or getting creative.


you also focus on creating a few hatcheries within your bounds to expand larva production, as well as bulking up your bases technology: A Defiler's mound springs up near your primary hive, and your spire soon mutates into a greater spire.

With every zerg DNA strain now available to you, you work on creating a stronger offensive force, intent on destroying the terran base with the full fury of the zerg.
dozens of mutalisks guard  the skies above, your zerglings and hydralisks number in the thousands, and your ultralisks reach the double digits. You also add several new additions to your army: The fierce guardians are ready to bathe any foe of the swarm with bursts of plasma. Defilers and queens join your army as well, and You're relatively certain your newfound army's just below ten thousand strong.
you think of the corpses you can make with an army this size. the idea delights you.


Wait... your body feels a bit... off.
you don't know if it's due to eating the human innards, or simply a result of your aging, but your frame starts mutating, bulging.
it takes several minutes of pain, but you feel yourself growing larger... more armored... and with a vastly expanded mind.
Congratulations! The cerebrate has evolved!
The armor of your carapace has grown thicker!(though given you're basically an immortal regenerator with no method of being killed, you're not sure if it really matters)
Your passive psychic control has grown stronger, allowing you to psychically perceive anything within 2 kilometers of yourself with a casual glance.

you have gained the ability to change the frequency of your psychic send/receive, allowing you to hear radio signals passing within a kilometer of your massive body.

[Soldier 75]

ZERG RUSH THE HUMANS AND TRAMPLE THEIR BODIES INTO OBLIVION!!!

[Erik Vrell]

Collect as much Terran DNA as possible. The faster we get handlings, the better.

[Crocodile]

I DO feel like it's murder time, yes. Daddy needs a pair of human skin shoes to go with his coat.

[Crocodile]

I wanna do that thing I said in the chat which you KNOW you remember, but you made me put it here.

[Weiss Deathwind]

>ZERG RUSH THE HUMANS AND TRAMPLE THEIR BODIES INTO OBLIVION!!!

>Collect as much Terran DNA as possible. The faster we get handlings, the better.

>I DO feel like it's murder time, yes. Daddy needs a pair of human skin shoes to go with his coat.

A chittering mass of chitin-covered, pus-spewing warriors run down the cliffs from whence your primary hive cluster is situated. you didn't think too hard about how many to send, but decide to send about 4/5ths of your available forces, keeping the remainder for defense. You'd rather not have a repeat of what happened last time you went all out on the attack, after all.
You make a mental note to make sure some of the corpses are more than recoverable. a nagging voice in the back of your head reminds you you have human corpses to use already, populating your human town recreation to the north... but you refuse the notion, easy as it might have been. There's no appropriate way to replace their hilarity visible at the moment. ahh, the sacrifices you make for comedy.


>[Today 11:07 AM] Smithondorf : Find a nice area to bury a fuck ton of Zerglings in, and hide Hydralisks and such around it. Lead the Terrans into a trap via a smal group.

Thinking that this is your chance to test some new tactics, you decide, rather than using a full-frontal assault from the get go, that you shall burrow a large number of zerglings and hydralisks. pulling your stronger forces back, you ready to test the terran defenses.

>36.
Your initial assault with your probing forces goes badly. A force of four hundred zerglings scurries forward... only to get ripped apart by the thud of artillery fire, automatic turrets, and bunkered marines. By the time you pull back, a legion of marines and firebats decide to give chase, the soldiers running forward...

>94

Only to almost instantly find themselves standing in the middle of a zerg forest. your zerglings and hydralisks begin cutting the disoriented soldiers apart immediately upon unburrowing, each man quickly finding him surrounded by six or more zerg intent on filleting him into grits.
Needless to say, the slaughter doesn't last longer than five seconds.
Hurriedly, as soon as this blow is taken, you order a single zergling to run back with corpse in hand. no matter what, you WILL have those shoes!

You begin planning your next move. you've weakened the terran forces, surely, but you've taken some light damage in return. perhaps if you...


suddenly, you are interrupted by a psychic transmission. your overlord in the north has... put on a party hat? It requests things like "confetti" and "party crackers". It also seems to be sitting in front of a now-functioning terran TV broadcast.
you Find this mildly entertaining, but mostly you're just confused.

[Crocodile]

We drag back the corpses for shoes, DNA, and to continue our studies on Terran technology. I don't know what confetti and party crackers are... but I'll allow the Comedy Lord some autonomy to do what he feels like, for now.

We've weakened the Terrans a bit, but I doubt they'll fall for another ambush like that. And I feel like their forces weren't diminished enough by the tactic to risk a full-on assault, just yet. We need to work on developing some infiltrator units, which can wear the Terran armor we just got, to move into their base and do more damage before we attack.

While we work on that, I want to burrow about half our army outside their base, just beyond where they can detect us, to be ready for the assault.

[Erik Vrell]

Let's use that Terran DNA and develop some handlings.

[Weiss Deathwind]

>We drag back the corpses for shoes, DNA, and to continue our studies on Terran technology. I don't know what confetti and party crackers are... but I'll allow the Comedy Lord some autonomy to do what he feels like, for now.
You send some of your zerg to begin dragging back the corpses. your personal zergling seems positively delighted, and as another busied-looking zergling barges in, a half-healed scar on it's face, the creature practically jumps at the chance to begin working on shoes for it's master.


Meanwhile, you allow comedylord autonomy to do as he wills. He responds by naming himself lord of funnytown, giving you a very clumsy salute, and busying himself working on "improving" the town... whatever that entails.
You can't help but worry.
after handling that psychic message, you realize your now very disappointed zergling is finished the shoes. the zergling has done an immensely good job, using human skin to create a perfect work of art, with laces made from the stringier bits of the humans body, and an amazingly polished design. a sexy, tanned pair of shoes lie before you...
Unfortunately, it occurs to you at this moment that you lack feet, or any approximation thereof. wearing these seems borderline impossible.



>We've weakened the Terrans a bit, but I doubt they'll fall for another ambush like that. And I feel like their forces weren't diminished enough by the tactic to risk a full-on assault, just yet. We need to work on developing some infiltrator units, which can wear the Terran armor we just got, to move into their base and do more damage before we attack.
you pull your forces back, a group fo your forces pulling back to your base. You realize some sort of infiltrator unit would be quite useful to infiltrate the terran base, provided they're reasonably convincing.
you start mixing genes, and...
end up creating large amounts of pale, tan slime that hatches from an egg.
ick.
It seems creating an all-new breed with just small amounts of human DNA didn't work out so well on your first try ever experimenting with DNA mixing.
hmm.


>While we work on that, I want to burrow about half our army outside their base, just beyond where they can detect us, to be ready for the assault.
You burrow half the army outside the terran base, thinking it will allow you to continue to monitor their forces, and catch them by surprise, when-


somewhat embarrassingly, your forces get caught by their on-base scanners. your positions have been revealed.
you should probably do soemthing with that now practically nude half of your forces before the terrans decide to do some things themselves.



your buglike body begins to swell, and suddenly, you undergo a momentary seizure - only a fraction of a second long, though to a mind as advanced as yours, this is nonetheless quite disconcerting. still, as it ends, you realize your cerebral cortex has grown even more advanced.

-You can now send and receive common electronic signals.

and on that subject, you realize that you are now able to pick up bits of chatter from the terran satellites nearby, even though you can only gain bits and pieces.

-just sit tight and-......... -New toy..... - so-......30.........

Well, that was both foreboding and unhelpful. you have the feeling you should be cautious, though.

[Crocodile]

Well, since they detected us, I GUESS we should bring our forces back. We'll use them to reinforce the defenses of our various hives.

Hmm... this new ability intrigues me. I wonder if we could use it to our advantage... To test it out, I'd like to see if I could, possibly, send them false intel of a large Zerg force gathering in the opposite direction from our base...

I feel like we need more DNA to better make our weird human hybrids. We should get on that.

Lastly, let's get on creating some tougher and stronger units in preparation to taking out that base.

[Sans]

Also, find out what Comedy King Overlord Man is up too. His stance on "improving" funnytown is disconcerting and I need reassurance.

[Weiss Schnee]

>Well, since they detected us, I GUESS we should bring our forces back. We'll use them to reinforce the defenses of our various hives.

You pull your forces back, dedicating them to defensive positions around your base, a portion of your total forces burrowed around the defensive colonies you've set up already.



>Hmm... this new ability intrigues me. I wonder if we could use it to our advantage... To test it out, I'd like to see if I could, possibly, send them false intel of a large Zerg force gathering in the opposite direction from our base...

you send out several messages warning of a zerg attack on the opposite side of the terran base you recently attacked. Strangely, you seem to be able to communicate in only one tone.

The radio chatter quiets, and you gain no response, strangely. it looks like you'll have to wait to see the fruits of that move.


>I feel like we need more DNA to better make our weird human hybrids. We should get on that.
you try and figure out more of the Terran DNA, but it seems weirdly... almost too weak to survive when combined with other DNA strains. Using terran DNA properly seems like it shall be quite a challenge. meanwhile, you're a new cerebrate with no experience in genetic experimentation and only an evolution chamber to assist with the work.
Still, your determination runs strong regardless.



>Lastly, let's get on creating some tougher and stronger units in preparation to taking out that base.
You once again focus on unit production, creating ultralisks, guardians, and scourge in preparation for once again taking the fight to the terrans. you also create some mutalisks and scourge, focusing on these creatures over the smaller zerglings and hydralisks


>Also, find out what Comedy King Overlord Man is up too. His stance on "improving" funnytown is disconcerting and I need reassurance.




you find Comedylord creating what looks like a baseball diamond, posing a trio of men that seem to be in a pose implying argumentativeness. he has since put on a clown nose. you find this Macabre display equal parts hilarious and disturbing.

[Crocodile]

You know what our Zerg need? Fists. Fists make EVERYTHING better. But they still need claws. So... I want to turn all of their heads into fists. WITH EVOLUTION!

[Sans]

Contemplate the possibility of using the Clown Overlord to disorient foes or at the very least serve as a suitable distraction.

[Soldier 75]

Attempt to develop some sort of mortar to POUND THE ENEMY BASE INTO OBLIVION AND ANNIHILATE ANYTHING THAT STANDS AGAINST US!!!

[Dell Conagher]

Attempt to develop some sort of mortar to POUND THE ENEMY BASE INTO OBLIVION AND ANNIHILATE ANYTHING THAT STANDS AGAINST US!!!

I recommend Bile Launchers, as they are the most effective long range Zerg armament to date.

[Dark Link]

Using my newfound psychic abilities, I listen in on Terran signals, particularly this unusual channel called 'The Oldies Station'.