<Entry 1 – The Fountain of Infinity>
[spoiler]
Dear Diary,
I have been in the Omniverse for… wow! X months/years/days/hours! Boy, the time sure does fly. I hear it flies in a few directions, too. This one time, I sat around for a few hours, and I swear that this plant went through its entire life cycle while I was just sitting there in a lethargic state of inactivity.
Weird, right?!
Let’s look at the Road So Far... let me go on the
internet Dataverse (sorry, I’m still bad at this) to get some tunes.
Okay… let’s roll.
Everything started way back ago. I’m told I look familiar by people, but you’re probably thinking of someone else. When Omni grabbed me, I was fighting this giant sum’ bitch called Jarek. The guy had the power to tear through planets, but fortunately, I had spent the last 3 years training under the chief ruler of the galaxy (dope, right?)
Anywho, we fought. We fought real hard. I had that mother fucker, but in the process, I think I overdid it. We both drifted, our bodies ravaged, and I’m certain I would have fell into that blackhole with him had I not woken up in the fountain.
You ever wake up mostly naked in a fountain surrounded by a bunch of tense-looking people? It’s not fun. I made my way out of there and tried to make sense of the blurred images in my head of a bro called Omni talking about power and omnilium and stuff.
Here, lemme draw some pictures…
SCRIBBLE SCRIBBLE WH YDIDN I TAKE ART AT J-CO.
[/spoiler]
<Entry 2 – Ronald and Joe>
[spoiler]
Dear Diary,
So after the white place, I stumbled off into Hell-world. In my own world, I’ve actually seen Hell/the Underworld. I fought some demons (literal and metaphorical), so I knew this probably wasn’t the same thing. Even so, it was filled with volcanos and smelled like charcoal and sulfur.
I was about to get the fuck out of dodge, but some merchant spotted me and I failed the Will save to ignore conversation. He told me about the frost land and the talking ponies, and eventually he got to the point he wanted to – someone stole from him and I was a prime. Since primes can’t really die (it’s a relief to know death is pointless here too), he wanted to know if I’d go gank the fucker who stole from him.
Most of my powers are gone, but I managed to remember enough of the ole tricks of the trade. I even got my clothes back with some omnilium magic. Then I went and got revenge for Ronald the Salt Merchant (still makes me giggle). Along the way, I reminisced a little about when I went to the Underworld in my home world. I had gone there to get revenge on an old rival and track down some leads on my missing girlfriend.
In the process, I met an anthropomorphic talking turtle with magical powers. Fucking Omniverse. There was a time when my planet was governed by an anthropomorphic dog, so it shouldn’t have been that amusing to me. His name was Joe… ‘Joe the Magikoopa.’ Joe and I killed the shit out of Ronald’s ex-partner, and we returned Ronald’s goods to him.
Ronald apparently lives out of some place called Minas Tirith in Camelot (I wish I was making this shit up).
Here,
lemme spell it out for you, Diary. I know how you can have issues with reading comprehension.
[/spoiler]
<Entry 3 – Seventeen the Koopa Trooper?>
[spoiler]
Dear Diary,
Still in the Ashen Steppes. It’s still awful.
I’m beginning to wonder if this Omniverse is just some type of simulation contest or reality television program. We had those back in my home world. Company called Syntech hosted them. The guy in charge was this poof called Karl Jak. Guy was the worst!
I miss Kirano. He was my best friend. We met shortly after I woke up from being in stasis for a while (why was I in stasis? Spoilers, Diary!). He claims he ‘beat’ me in our first match, because obviously we sparred as a surrogate for meaningful conversation. I got lost a little in the reminiscing… you remember Civil Unrest, Diary? All my friends? We fought and kicked butt before everyone grew apart? We lived in that old mansion in the woods that used to be owned by some crime families? And then there was Paige…
Joe sent me off to find the Koopa’s headquarters (yea, they have a headquarters). It wound up being a giant fortress decorated with a giant stone carving of their king’s face. Joe wanted me to join the Koopa Troopas (Troopers? They seemed to use both) even though I wasn’t a turtle. Since I had no friends, I thought it was a smart idea to make some, y’know, for the just in case.
I got there. Met someone named ‘Von Koopa.’ Guy had a Grade-A ‘stache. Told me I had to win a race up a mountainside to be a Trooper. A race in like, a gimmick-laden go-cart (excuse me… a ‘kart’, because k’s are edgier than c’s). Obviously, the whole thing was laden with monsters and traps and sadistic drivers who wanted to kill each other… Fucking Omniverse.
I won, obviously. Have you seen me? I may have killed a bunch of people, but I was told that was ‘part of the risk when they signed the waiver.’
So now I am an honorary Koopa Troopa, and they even gave me a cool shell. It doesn’t fit, but I think it’s a nice keychain, you know?
I hope these doodles are informative. You’re welcome.
[/spoiler]
<Entry 4 – ‘CAUSE IT’S THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT>
[spoiler]
Dear Diary,
After the race, I got a little spot to stay in the castle. It was pretty awful (these turtles sleep on stones, the fuck?), so I summoned some nicer décor. I think I got the hang of this summoning thing. If I focus on old memories, I can usually manifest many of the skills I used to have. I know, it’s a bit weird, but it’s how this place works.
I read a book (book might be the wrong term since it was just a bunch of published stuff online) called the
Monotruth. Interesting stuff. I also read about some stuff in fairy land, uh, I mean Camelot.
Ironically, I read about the star pieces just before Von Koopa came to my room and asked me for some help. He wanted me to go investigate, since reports said one of those things had fallen in the Steppes. Also, the Kingdom (Camelot) had one, and I guess they have magic powers or something. Still dunno how that makes it any more special than anything else in this place, but who knows. I’m just here to YOLIT (you only live infinite times).
Before I left, they put me in charge of a group of Koopa rejects (don’t let them read this – they’re sensitive souls) and a new kart (it’s a train! And also a barrel!) We met the astronomers from Dalaran/Camelot/the Kingdom. They were led by a guy named Julius Peppers.
What happened next is pretty bonkers. Volcanos. Underground caves. Valiant quests for pressurized carbon! Monsters. Flying monsters. Fucking undead axe-men. A kai damned zombie dragon. Fucking Omniverse.
The astronomers mostly died. We lost some koopas too. But we did it. We found the star piece, and all of us returned to the fortress, where I got to meet King Bowser. Really interesting guy. A bit bombastic but y’know, I guess that’s the perks of being a warlord? Did’ja know there are seven star pieces? Seven. Seven magic artifacts. I can’t make this shit up. They had a set of seven Dragon Balls where I’m from… they’d move between planets when they were collected. My daughter collected them. No, not toddler Piper. The version of her from the future that got thrown back in time by cultists. C’mon, Diary, you know better.
Bowser left the star piece to me, and Julius likewise agreed. I guess I’m pretty chill. Julius returned to Camelot, and the surviving koopas and I decided to travel to Coruscant (I don’t know why – I think they just wanted to see a new place).
Here, lemme
show you some of the sketches I made… did I mention the Flan? Those things were janked up!
[/spoiler]
<Entry 5 – City of Lights>
[spoiler]
Dear Diary,
Went to Coruscant. I guess it’s a police state? I probably should have researched that more before I walked through their scanners and set them off (I guess the star piece exudes a little
too much energy?).
I got arrested… you know how embarrassing it is to be arrested? I used to be able to tear apart cars and I had to deal with handcuffs. Sad!
I got taken into HQ, and while there was a little too much good cop/bad cop for my tastes, they decided to ‘let me off’ by conscripting me into their police forces (yeap, that’s a thing I guess). I got taken down to a lower tier (this is a fucking city on top of a bunch of other cities), and a fancy stormtrooper told me I had to go kill some gangsters. Obviously, I killed them dead. I’m rubbish at many things, but I’m pretty good at punching things and blowing up shit.
I went back. I guess that fancy stormtrooper was a lady. Lieutenant Bianca Skleros of the 13th Legion decided that I was part of her outfit now. I guess I’m just rolling with the punches at this point.
Anyway, I met this lady named Beatrix Zulenka. Just happens to have exactly the same name as my time-displaced daughter’s friend’s wife. Are they related? Of course not. Fucking Omniverse. Either way, ‘Trixie’ doesn’t seem too bad. She has the look of someone who deals with shit for a living and doesn’t crack.
Anyway, Trixie became my pseudo-boss. She’s my staff sergeant, and I’m her sergeant. S’like, military stuff. Piper would understand this stuff… I think she was a sergeant for a while.
Trixie came to me in the middle of the night talking about a mission. Obviously I went along with it… we had to go to a prison and … actually, I don’t think she told me the point? I assume we had to deal with prisoners, but when we got there, the place got hit by ‘rebel scum.’ We fought our way through—it wasn’t that hard. We found a jedi, and Trixie killed them with extreme prejudice.
It was then that the 13th Legion swooped down to ‘save us.’ Instead, they told Trixie that her headquarters had been destroyed, her computers all blown to shit, and her friends were in critical condition. From what I can tell, Trixie’s got a close friend called Nova. Close like Piper and Abigail were ‘close.’ Am I being blunt enough?
The ride back was a bummer, but Lieutenant Skleros told us we’d be getting commendations for a job well done (I guess they didn’t give Trixie this mission, but that’s none of my business). Either way,
have a laugh at this ‘official report’ they made me file – lol!
[/spoiler]
Quick Access List in event of Alzheimer’s and/or trauma-induced Amnesia (it happens!):
Splash -
http://omniverse-rpg.com/showthread.php?tid=5201
<To Ashen Steppes>
Eye for an Eye (Quest) -
http://omniverse-rpg.com/showthread.php?tid=5202
Two Koopas, One Shell (Faction Quest) -
http://omniverse-rpg.com/showthread.php?tid=5243
Heart of the Moment (Artefact Quest) -
http://omniverse-rpg.com/showthread.php?tid=5313
<To Coruscant>
Consequences (w/ Trixie) –
http://omniverse-rpg.com/showthread.php?tid=6273