When you play tabletop games four times a week at least, especially when they go late into the night... people say stupid and funny shit.
Gonna go ahead and warn you, this isn't the most clean set of quotes. Because we're not exactly the most filtered lot. There's a lot of people who say a lot of things, though, and I haven't kept track of who's said what. That, and I don't know if anybody would appreciate being named off here... so if they want to step forward, they may. But, y'know. No obligation to. Thought you folks might like a laugh, though.
Without further ado... THE LIST!
"What would I roll for puppy-dog eyes?"
"Instant tank - Just add water!"
"You have a +7 to motherfucker stabbing?!"
"They don't want you here, but they also don't want to approach you, so they're just making distressed crab noises."
"One second ago, I was being dumb with crabs, and now I'm making reasonable points. What the fuck?!"
"I could use one of the crabs as an improvised lighter!"
"I rolled stealth for the cookies."
"I walk in and the first thing I see is a guy without his shirt on."
"Well, now his house is in the shitter squared."
"In case of Doom, break glass."
"'In the last fight, we caught a light bug from the swarm. I think somebody was keeping it as a pet--' 'FREDERICK IS NOT PROPER TESTING MATERIAL.'"
"Octavia will express she would prefer to be eaten while awake, and also please use different wording."
"Did Coral just snore so loud she woke herself up?"
"I retroactively turn breakfast into a boopfest."
"I cleave him in two. Plus one."
"Coral Pov'rel cuts the air with a mop and creates an interdimensional rift."
"Fire hydrant waifu is best waifu."
"When in doubt, use powerful drugs!"
"Khloe picks up 'The Anatomy of the Harem', an academic journal by one Auszen Powers, Ph.D."
"There is only one taco stand in Atlas."
"*distant sounds of angry, bubbling worm bellowing*"
"+9 Pants bonus to Intimidation."
"We need your word on world-building relating to goblin penises."
"Of course, that wasn't saying much in a town like Bumblefuck."
"Captain Morgan's Year-Old Bread Crumb Fish Fillets®! Now available in your local fish aisle! They have those, right?
We have our No Guarantee Guarantee™ , including such wonders as "98.7% sure there won't be a fish hook in the fish" and "the bread crumbs probably aren't mouldy!"
Captain Morgan's Year-Old Bread Crumb Fish Fillets®. 'They're edible!'™"
"I've gotta steal from Leonidas' anus"
"We appear to have stumbled upon a pig orgy."
"'I apologize for almost decapitating you.' 'It's nothi--... wait, what the Hell am I saying? You owe me one.'"
"Distant sounds of hardcore peeing"
"Dudington, Guy - Duke of Dipshire"
"Coral Pov'rel foresees burger PTSD."
"No! El Supremo, no!"
"El Supremo just looms over you as a shadow before trying to shove all of himself down your throat."
"Three words drip from Coral's lips: 'El Supremo, no.'"
"NOBODY IS READY FOR BEACON WITH ITS SOCIOPATH TEAMS AND POLYGAMY"
"Coral Pov'rel boops away 'anything's-a-dildo-if-you're-brave-enough'-style."
"Skadi can't help but grin at Arne, but she turns back to Rai and has a faceful of titties she doesn't know what to do with."
"...Ignatius, do not charm the dark elf who just killed our allies."
"Using Grimm to get underaged alcohol - that's the level we're at now!"
"NO BRIBING THE GM WITH ANAL LOOT"
"Great. The wall's adding to my vocabulary."
"I'd like to think I can hit a mug in its critical areas."
"THE GAME KEEPS THROWING SADISM AT ME"
"GOD FETISHISM WAS THE DREAM"
"I just came back to 'no dingoes in the mines, no dingoes in the mines' and I don't know if I want context."
"'The sound of... looooove,' she says, remembering last night."
"Is wiping monkey doocus off my face a standard action or a bonus action?!"
Navy Blue = Nep
Bright-ish Red = Adam
Went with darker colours so I wouldn't get eyesore complaints. The difference is slight, but it is noticeable, or at least it is to me.
If you're on this list - you know who you are - and you want to be credited, lemme know which ones are yours and I'll add you in with a colour.
Gonna go ahead and warn you, this isn't the most clean set of quotes. Because we're not exactly the most filtered lot. There's a lot of people who say a lot of things, though, and I haven't kept track of who's said what. That, and I don't know if anybody would appreciate being named off here... so if they want to step forward, they may. But, y'know. No obligation to. Thought you folks might like a laugh, though.
Without further ado... THE LIST!
"What would I roll for puppy-dog eyes?"
"Instant tank - Just add water!"
"You have a +7 to motherfucker stabbing?!"
"They don't want you here, but they also don't want to approach you, so they're just making distressed crab noises."
"One second ago, I was being dumb with crabs, and now I'm making reasonable points. What the fuck?!"
"I could use one of the crabs as an improvised lighter!"
"I rolled stealth for the cookies."
"I walk in and the first thing I see is a guy without his shirt on."
"Well, now his house is in the shitter squared."
"In case of Doom, break glass."
"'In the last fight, we caught a light bug from the swarm. I think somebody was keeping it as a pet--' 'FREDERICK IS NOT PROPER TESTING MATERIAL.'"
"Octavia will express she would prefer to be eaten while awake, and also please use different wording."
"Did Coral just snore so loud she woke herself up?"
"I retroactively turn breakfast into a boopfest."
"I cleave him in two. Plus one."
"Coral Pov'rel cuts the air with a mop and creates an interdimensional rift."
"Fire hydrant waifu is best waifu."
"When in doubt, use powerful drugs!"
"Khloe picks up 'The Anatomy of the Harem', an academic journal by one Auszen Powers, Ph.D."
"There is only one taco stand in Atlas."
"*distant sounds of angry, bubbling worm bellowing*"
"+9 Pants bonus to Intimidation."
"We need your word on world-building relating to goblin penises."
"Of course, that wasn't saying much in a town like Bumblefuck."
"Captain Morgan's Year-Old Bread Crumb Fish Fillets®! Now available in your local fish aisle! They have those, right?
We have our No Guarantee Guarantee™ , including such wonders as "98.7% sure there won't be a fish hook in the fish" and "the bread crumbs probably aren't mouldy!"
Captain Morgan's Year-Old Bread Crumb Fish Fillets®. 'They're edible!'™"
"I've gotta steal from Leonidas' anus"
"We appear to have stumbled upon a pig orgy."
"'I apologize for almost decapitating you.' 'It's nothi--... wait, what the Hell am I saying? You owe me one.'"
"Distant sounds of hardcore peeing"
"Dudington, Guy - Duke of Dipshire"
"Coral Pov'rel foresees burger PTSD."
"No! El Supremo, no!"
"El Supremo just looms over you as a shadow before trying to shove all of himself down your throat."
"Three words drip from Coral's lips: 'El Supremo, no.'"
"NOBODY IS READY FOR BEACON WITH ITS SOCIOPATH TEAMS AND POLYGAMY"
"Coral Pov'rel boops away 'anything's-a-dildo-if-you're-brave-enough'-style."
"Skadi can't help but grin at Arne, but she turns back to Rai and has a faceful of titties she doesn't know what to do with."
"...Ignatius, do not charm the dark elf who just killed our allies."
"Using Grimm to get underaged alcohol - that's the level we're at now!"
"NO BRIBING THE GM WITH ANAL LOOT"
"Great. The wall's adding to my vocabulary."
"I'd like to think I can hit a mug in its critical areas."
"THE GAME KEEPS THROWING SADISM AT ME"
"GOD FETISHISM WAS THE DREAM"
"I just came back to 'no dingoes in the mines, no dingoes in the mines' and I don't know if I want context."
"'The sound of... looooove,' she says, remembering last night."
"Is wiping monkey doocus off my face a standard action or a bonus action?!"
Navy Blue = Nep
Bright-ish Red = Adam
Went with darker colours so I wouldn't get eyesore complaints. The difference is slight, but it is noticeable, or at least it is to me.
If you're on this list - you know who you are - and you want to be credited, lemme know which ones are yours and I'll add you in with a colour.
![[Image: 6qbi4j.png]](http://i62.tinypic.com/6qbi4j.png)