The day is upon us!

[Amaterasu]

Somewhere on the messageboards of the Dataverse, a new thread shows up three days after the phenomenon that the Dataverse community has taken to calling "Frozen Fields light" has been observed. The poster's avatar has been replaced with an image of the light pillar shooting up into the sky, but a little digging through their post history shows that they are - or used to be? - a fairly unseeming troll living in an outpost of Zul'gurand.

You have all seen the images on the forums, on OmniTube, Omnigur and the other platforms. You have all read the crazed theories of what the pillar of light piercing the clouded skies of the Frozen Fields could have been. You are all wondering whether it is a supernatural sighting or an elaborate hoax.

I KNOW THE TRUTH!

I have seen the light myself, it has revealed to me the truth and it is my sacred duty to share it.

THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT IS UPON US!

The messias is rising in the Omniverse, and He shall bring divine judgement on those who have turned away from the Light! The Holy God of Light has sent His avatar to descend upon this world and cleanse it of the Darkness that reigns beneath our feet. Armageddon, Ragnarök, Judgement Day, the end of the world as we know it, call it what you will, but know that it is close! Ignore not the signs, open your eyes and see the truth.

THE LIGHT IS A BEACON OF GUIDANCE BUT IT IS ALSO A WARNING!

Sinners, repent your crimes and turn to the light to purify your spirit before it is too late! You who are virtuous, prepare to enter the war at the side of the avatar when the time comes, or you shall forever be punished!

Undertake the journey to the Frozen Fields, and know that the church of the God of Light awaits you near the Frozen Gate. In sacred pilgrimage we shall find the avatar and join Him in the Holy Crusade. We will leave none behind, all are accepted into our community. Banish the hesitation from your hearts and join us.

-Tah'Kar

[The Emperor of Mankind]

But like, can't we just contain the apocolypse in a pocket pocket?
That still works right?

[Erik Vrell]

Only if you buy an extra strength jumbo pocket pocket XXL, available from the pocket pocket website for only 99.99 OM!

[The Emperor of Mankind]

Do the promo codes I used on the small pocket pockets still work?

[Angel Fisher]

No
Pocket Pockets are the inferferior product
What you need is the bag bag
It can hold up to 5500x more stuff in it and unlike pocket pocket, has a no money pack guarantee.
A pocket pocket can barely hold a pencil case, how is it meant to hold the apocalypse?

So call 74239686237 for you $100 Bag bag
That's right, call SHADYNUMBER for a bag bag worth $90 for $100, don't delay, call today

[The Emperor of Mankind]

Get a haircut, hippie.

[Angel Fisher]

I glad you said that, I, for one, have hair so long if I were to cut it, you couldn't keep it in 2 jumbo pocket pocket XXL's

But you know what can hold it? 1 Mega Bag Bag 1/2L

Now you can store all your hair away for when you need it later, like making a blanket or wig.

Call now and you can get it for $800. That's right, you get to pay double the price you normally would. FOR FREE!!!

But wait, THERE'S MORE!!! if you say the words 'Pocket Pocket Punishers' you get a second one for $400
That's 2 Mega Bag Bag 1/2L's for the price of three. Don't delay, call today

[The Emperor of Mankind]

$800? smh
For only 20/99.99 OM you can store infinite things or infinite things doubled!
Even your bags need a haircut.

[Desman Black]

Didn't I just say our products store 5500x then it's pocket pocket equvilent?

[Desman Black]

I meant he
This is totally not the same guy on a fake account

[The Emperor of Mankind]

Well you obviously don't know how maths works because you can't have multiple amounts of infinity unless you use pocket pockets to store the laws of mathematics themselves so you may do whatever you please.

[Erik Vrell]

Listen here pal you'd better stop pushing your low quality product before my boys have to come over and smoke you, capiche?