Let's do this post-by-post... First, damage tallies. I roughly estimated how bad the injury would be based on how brutal you guys made it seem, the stats of the characters involved, and how creative the use of your moves were. I'm also very tired, so these numbers may be wildly scattered.
[spoiler]
POST 1
Centurion damage report (6):
- 2 points from the headbutt (since it's not a move but Dust's ATK is high)
- 4 points from being clawed by the powered-up Dust
Dust damage report (7):
- 2 points from the punch (powerful move, but its 3 ATK VS 6 DEF...)
- 5 points from buildings collapsing on top of your 6 DEF
Marcus Wright damage report (0.5):
- 0.5 points from a twisted arm
POST 2
Marcus Wright damage report (4):
- 1 point from being punched in the face
- 1 point from Centurion's sick burn (just kidding, it was the punch)
- 2 points from being punched and apparently knocked back
Centurion damage report (3):
- 1 point from the counter-kick
- 2 points from the Terminator punch
POST 3
Centurion damage report (10):
- 1 point from the energy bullet (Dick probably landed the hit, considering his TEC)
- 0.5 points from the eye lasers (I'm assuming it's the temporary version)
- 1 point from weak Crescent Darts and the non-Move knee to the stomach
- 2 points from the channeled eye lasers
- 0.5 points from Dick's hit-and-run before getting slammed
- 3 points from all that business with the wires (if it was an actual move, it'd be like a 5, 'cause that sounded brutal)
- 2 points from Marcus' tackle
Dick Howland damage report (8):
- 4 points from the deep-fry hug (Ionic Discharge)
- 3 points from being slammed into the ground with 3 ATK VS 1 DEF
- 1 point for dealing with live electricity but being fairly careful with it
Moon Knight damage report (2):
- 2 points from Centurion's punch
POST 4
Moon Knight damage report (6):
- 1 point from Centurion's punch
- 3 points from Centurion sending you flying
- 2 points from Centurion's Might, Area mode, then hitting a car
Centurion damage report (8.5):
- 1.5 points from Moon Knight's one-two followed by the knee
- 4 points. You got hit by a car, dude.
- 3 points from a powered-up beatdown
POST 5
Marcus Wright damage report (5):
- 2 points from being countered
- 1 point from Dick's energy blast (I'm sure he's sorry)
- 2 points from colliding into Moon Knight
Centurion damage report (9):
- 1 point from being kicked in the arms
- 2 points from the choke-hold
- 3 points from Dust's claws (didn't seem as deep this time)
- 3 points from Dust's bite
Moon Knight damage report (5):
- 2 points from colliding into Dick
- 1 point from the failed dogpile
- 2 points from colliding into Marcus
Dick Howland damage report (3):
- 3 points from colliding into Moon Knight (Your DEF is low)
Dust damage report (4):
- 1 point from the headbutt+punch
- 3 points from an ionic discharge in the mouth
TOTAL:
Centurion: 26.5
Dust: 11
Marcus Wright: 9.5
Moon Knight: 13
Dick Howland: 11
[/spoiler]
Now in terms of the writing.
[spoiler]
EVERYONE
Every single one of you had at least one cinematic, magical moment in your post. You destroyed Centurion, but the fight was one-sided so whatever. One thing I like to do when fighting alongside a partner is doing combos that I can't do by myself. Maybe Dust could have thrown Dick at Centurion. Maybe Marcus pins him down so that Dick can blast him. You're a team, so when your fight includes each other, it feels the most natural. In the time that one of you is fighting Centurion, I find it hard to believe that someone else wouldn't jump in and throw some punches. But overall, really well done, and I'm proud of y'all. (Let's not be in Tier 1 next time though)
DUST
First of all, you filled the whole 1500, which is impressive. You set the scene and you explained the motivations of your character. Your dialogue, though sparse (which isn't bad, I just like my quips), was all on-point. This Moon Knight is as grumpy and sarcastic as I imagined him being. The descriptions of the combat... brutal and colorful. I got intimidated and slightly disgusted by your description of the transformation and the slimy teeth. What I do think can be improved is your depiction of the setting. The dynamic elements, like the concrete, the onlookers and the dust particles (love that bit, well done) are well described. However, I didn't have a good idea of what the street actually looked like. Since you spend a lot of time interacting with the environment, this stuck out to me. Also, some of the sentences are not complete ("Marc still dealing with the fact that he has to work with one of his sworn enemies..."). Things like that and the sometimes odd word choices ("...then more concentrated disruption from them...") can disrupt your momentum.
MARCUS
As always, I do enjoy that Marcus is a short-tempered guy who emotionally implodes the minute someone talks about his cyborg-ity. I LOVED how you also describe your combat with Cade as a more... shall we say, a dance? The conflict isn't just punching and blasting, it's mind games, trying to psychoanalyze the other guy. Which is why Marcus losing his temper at the end makes sense, because Cade wins that round spiritually, and their reactions show that, with Cade smirking and Marcus losing it. It's something that I actually don't see much in the other's posts. Marcus and Cade are
thinking, not just throwing punches by instinct. While most fistfights don't have a lot of thinking time, this felt believable; after all, both opponents are trying to not kill, so they need to gauge each other's strength. I also want to note that this is such a huge improvement from when we were writing as Jak and Dr. McNinja. Good stuff. But it was so short, and not just word-count-wise. It feels like the post was largely a set-up, and Marcus' temper snap at the end would have lead to a brutal beatdown of some sort. If you went a
little further after that point, this would have a more satisfying conclusion. While it wasn't necessarily bad, a more colorful word choice would really show how tense the situation is. (Also, there were some typos)
DICK
Out of the five posts, this felt like it would be the most fun to watch. My first thought was that you represented the stats very well. Dick's stats means that he's squishy and doesn't hit hard, but he's just all over the place. And since his ATK is low, you had to think creatively. As a result, Dick really thought about what it would take to take Centurion down, considering his power-armor and electrifying it with power cables. I'd have given you way more credit damage-wise if it was a Move, which is kinda Catch-22 because if it was a Move I wouldn't love how creative you were about the situation. You are also one of two people in this fight who realized there are other people on your team. Bonus points for awareness of other players. Your word choice was solid, you kept me engaged with how fragile Dick feels to the reader. He's so scared of getting hit, and when he does, he really gets hit
hard. My only complaint is that it was short. You had basically two action sequences: the tag-team between you+MK and Centurion, and then the electric wire-whips. You took cover, but that's not really a sequence. Really get into it. I wish Dick tried normal attacks a bit longer, so that it feels more satisfying when he figures out the wire thing.
MOON KNIGHT
Khonshu's a bit of an asshole. Like I said in Dust's review, I love my quips. You did good quips, sir, from Centurion quipping about MK's outfit (what's wrong with white tho) to Khonshu inexplicably imitating George Takei as a boxing match commentator. My favorite moment was when MK quips, "What do you want me to do, throw a car?" and Khonshu basically goes, "Sure, sounds good." And you know I always love a good "Avengers Assemble." But it's a little late in the post to be shouting that (although Centurion picked up the ball there, since the team seems to really work together in that last post). Moon Knight is pretty much dueling Centurion here, despite his position as acting captain of the Avengers. Team awareness! Acknowledge that the others are fighting Centurion too, they're not just watching you throw a car (hehe, you threw a freaking car). Even a quip from Dick about how you seem to be talking to yourself would have improved the post. That being said, huge improvement from when I first met you. It reads much more smoothly than it used to, because of pacing and the fewer grammar errors.
CENTURION
Oh man. First of all, you finally bring it home how devastated Cade is. He got shredded by a werewolf, had several live power cables choking you, and a car thrown at you. You're falling apart, and your post makes it clear that you are. But you keep going. What a cool moment. And you showed the team working together! They're all attacking you at once, not one at a time. The dogpile moment was great! Centurion does what makes most sense in a situation like this, which is throw one guy into another, or use one guy to block an attack. You used their numbers against them. I won't lie, when I heard about this fight happening, this kind of stuff is what I imagined. You have great word choice, from the silver spear to the snapping of ions. You made Marcus seem a lot more machine-like, with his whirring shoulders and apparently getting up really weird, which isn't how I imagine him in my head but still worked. One thing bothers me. Centurion and Dick kinda just chat for two seconds and then Cade is like "k". "We promise"? THAT'S IT? They beat the living
shit out of you! That was more out-of-left-field than when Thor decided to stop fighting Cap in the first Avengers movie. (I'm kidding by the way, it wasn't that bad) Flesh out his surrender more, and this would have been an incredibly solid post.[/spoiler]
So obviously, Centurion lost the fight physically. I mean, he's 6.5 points overkilled. But it was a 4v1, and the 1 was a level 2 who didn't have Super Moves. So purely based on what I liked reading,
Centurion wins!
Can I go sleep now
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