Callout Post

[Jade Harley]

Stephen King, I'm calling you the hEcK oUT!

How dare you, how DARE YOU.

This has caused me a great deal of emotional torment for years, before I ever even heard about any of your books or read them. People were always like "omg, Stephen king this, Stephen King that. He's the best. Simply the best there is," "Even Chuck Norris writes books about Stephen King," and the dreaded aside of "Stephen King is pretty cool."

Now I've picked one of "these" "so-called" "books" "up." Happened to flip through it. Now, now I am pissed. Who gave yOu the right to do this. Who gave you the right, wHO, because I will find them and get right up in their face and then give them the biggest bear hug ever.

You hear that, Mr. King????!!¡¿!¿!?¿¿ Fight me. FighT MEEe,, 1v1! One of these days ur gonna get what's coming to you, and you'll understand, the depths of my burning, rage-fuelled respect.

You absolute hecker.

[Luci]

hecker.

JADE!

[Beta Ray Bill]

What about Steven King?

[Blink]

Don't read Gerald's Game. Don't get me wrong, it's a great book, but it is super stressful. I'm stressed just thinking about it. I am actively avoiding the movie that just came out.

[Ada Wong]

I'm convinced if we continue to insult the King he'll eventually appear.

Stephen King? More like..... STEVEN KING!

[Omni]

Mr King, the first books I read of yours were the Dark Tower series.

I will never forgive you for that last book. Pls stick to horror, Mr King.

[Alex]

I read It when I was in the 7th grade, because it was in my library.

The fuck is the matter with this world.

[Handsome Jack]

It ain't even that bad. I read (and watched) The Stand sometime in my preteen years. Stephen King made me visualize an overweight teen masturbating to a 17 year old pregnant girl and a 20 something man fucking in the woods. Dammit.

[Jade Harley]

I read It when I was in the 7th grade, because it was in my library.

The fuck is the matter with this world.

I legit confused It and A Child Called It for YEARS. I didn't want to read the latter, and here we are.

[Hiro Protagonist]

My middle school had the compilation of Ultimate Marvel where the Hulk transforms because he's mad at Betsy Ross dating Freddie Prinze Jr and he grabs their chopper out of the sky while shouting about how horny he is.


Yup.

[Jade Harley]

My middle school had the compilation of Ultimate Marvel where the Hulk transforms because he's mad at Betsy Ross dating Freddie Prinze Jr and he grabs their chopper out of the sky while shouting about how horny he is.


Yup.

Oh my gosh, lol.

Anyway, I checked out some of Gerald's Game while visiting the local library yesterday. I was disturbed, impressed, and fascinated. Stephen King still needs to write-fight me. I mean, I might lose, but still. Fight. Me.

Edit: Realized I put "might". I will probably lose. There.

[Kelly MacAryn]

I loved The Shining.
I was repulsed by Rose Madder (which was on my middle-school shelves. I appreciate the structure of it these days, but I think there's a bit of over-reach in terms of how uncomfortable the whole thing is.)
I enjoyed Salem's Lot (which my middle-school library also had for reasons unfathomable to the mind of man, woman, child, or small yappy dog.)
Pet Semetary was pretty good.
The Stand was excruciating, and not in a good way.
Cujo is hot garbage.
Night Shift is one of the greatest short-story collections I've ever met.
And the Dark Tower series is a roller-coaster that eventually crashes into a septic-tank.

So I guess what I'm trying to say here is that while I respect him, I have very mixed feelings about Mr. King's work.

[Omni]

I think King is definitely an ideas-guy. I think horror, as a genre, works best when it's vague and things aren't necessarily clear and obvious and following logic, traits which don't translate well into other genres. So it's no surprise he does the short stories well. He's got great imagination.

I'll also say he's way better than most writers at writing believable characters and dialogue. I get the feeling a lot of his characters are cribbed from a lot of real-life experiences. (average sci-fi and fantasy writers are generally the worst at this. I make an exception for many writers, including Philip Pullman and Scott Lynch)

[Jade Harley]

I think he would do well on the Omniverse, y'know, if I can get hypothetical for a sec. He'd definitely enjoy writing big, deeply-engrossing story-lines with secondaries, though I'm not sure if he'd be good at sticking with one character.

I bet Stephen King would character switch all. The. Time.

[Handsome Jack]

Stephen King could join right now and pass Gildarts in OM in less than a year. While writing 3 novels on the side. Fucking guy is a machine.

[Aaron]

Civilized people read Koontz.



:frogc00l:

[Jade Harley]

Civilized people read Koontz.



:frogc00l:

Koontz STRESSES ME OUT about as much as King.