Move Creation Workshop

[Cell]

@Koola:

Death Saucer:
>How big is the disk
>Does summoning it require his concentration? So can he use other moves at the same time?
>Will damage disrupt this?
>Does controlling it require him to concentrate on it, or does he just have to look at it?
>Can he use other moves while controlling it, what about while letting it travel in a straight line?
>How quickly can the disk turn? (A rough turning radius is good enough)

Imprisonment Ball:

>This doesn't need area attack. Area attack is generally for splash damage. Since this is just you immobilising one person.
>While immobilised, does it restrict abilities of the opponent that don't require them to move? Maybe someone can shoot lasers from their eyes and happened to be looking at you, or maybe someone can summon rocks above enemies, would this stop them doing that? Or does it only restrict them physically?
>Twenty seconds is a while. I'd add a way for opponent to break out earlier if their ATK is higher than yours and they struggle.
>How fast and far does the orb travel once hit?

I thought I had everything and there's a bunch of stuff I didn't consider! Thanks. I updated it according to your feedback.

Couple of notes on the Imprisonment Ball:
- I had Area Attack because of the explosion once the ball hits something else.
- I think the twenty seconds is fair because it also prevents Koola from doing anything during that time (other than the two second window for him to attack the orb directly). It can also be interrupted by someone else attacking Koola and he wouldn't be able to stop that, so I think the downsides are OK.

Death Saucer (300) (Requires Ranged, Remote Control Prof) - Koola lifts an open palm upward and creates a spinning disc of magenta energy with a deep red core with a 75cm diameter, taking about two seconds where he must remain still (though it can be summoned while falling) and he cannot perform any other attacks; taking damage will interrupt the charge. The edge of the disc is sharp and will cut through almost anything (depending on Koola's ATK stat to his target's durability/DEF stat for a Prime). Koola throws the disc, where it travels at the speed of an arrow and moves in a straight line. After loosing it, Koola can redirect the disc's path with a curt hand gesture if he so chooses (eg. flinging his hand left to right across his chest to make it turn right). Koola must maintain eye contact with and concentrate on the Death Saucer in order to redirect it (however he can attack after throwing it if he isn't redirecting it), and his control over it vanishes after a hundred and fifty metres. The Death Saucer will continue on until it collides with an object of sufficient mass to stop it (eg. the ground). Koola can summon four of these in a five minute period without tiring.

Imprisonment Ball (300) (Requires Area Attack, Telekinesis) - Koola throws out an open hand and fires a two-metre ring of orange energy at the speed of an arrow after a charge of three seconds. The ring dissipates after five metres so Koola has to be close. When the ring makes contact, it encircles the target in an orange orb of energy and completely immobilises them, preventing them from moving or attacking. Koola must continue channelling his energy to maintain the prison, and can hold it for as long as twenty seconds before he loses his grip. As long as Koola doesn't allow twenty seconds to pass, he can drop his focus and attack the orb, sending it flying in the direction of his hit at the speed of an arrow and causing it to explode with the first surface that isn't Koola. He has a window of two seconds to hit the orb after he stops channelling, otherwise the orb will dissipate. Koola must remain still while charging, firing and channelling, and taking damage during any phase will disrupt the attack. Due to the technique's drawbacks, outside of channelling the orb, Koola does not get very fatigued from multiple uses; however holding a target for its full duration three times in succession (up to a minute) will tire him.

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

@Koola:

Death Saucer:

>You'll need some information on how quick the disk can turn.

The edge of the disc is sharp and will cut through almost anything

When describing how powerful a move is, try not to use wording like "cuts through skin" or "breaks bones". This is because the actual damage an attack causes will depend not just on the power of the move, but also your opponent's DEF stat in relation to your ATK. It's best to leave this somewhat vague.

>Almost anything? Does that include heavy duty steel? Or concrete? Just describe this move as being comparatively strong, or weak, etc. Like doing medium damage, or heavy damage. You can still mention it being sharp.

The Death Saucer will continue on until it collides with an object of sufficient mass to stop it (eg. the ground).

>What about a head on collision with someone?

Imprisonment Ball:

>Add ranged attack to the proficiencies required.
>Add physical attack (maybe, since you're hitting ring/target to send them flying).
>How big is the orb's explosion?
>Is it damaging? If so, how much?
>What's the maximum range it can be sent after being hit?

[Alexander Blakesley]

D-101 Longbow DMR - (300, requires Ranged Proficiency)
The D-101 Longbow is a high calibre semi-automatic Designated Marksman Rifle that can fire on the move as well as fire from a stationary position. The Longbow's rate of fire is three shots per second, reloading a magazine takes around two seconds, and the effective firing range is up to 2000m. Alexander can carry up to six magazines with each magazine containing twenty-five rounds and five seconds to replenish spent magazines. The weapon's hypervelocity rounds make accuracy pinpoint even at long to extreme ranges with no bullet drop and deal heavy damage. One particular drawback of the Longbow being bullets leave faint streaks of white vapour which enemies can use to track to the sniper’s location at the time of firing.


Hammond P2016 - (300, requires Ranged Proficiency)
The Hammond P2016 is a semi-automatic handgun that can fire on the move. The weapon's handheld size, precise accuracy and bullet's moderate damage make it a reliable backup weapon. The Hammond sidearm's magazines can hold as much as thirty rounds, the rate of fire is six bullets per second, reload per clip takes one second, Alexander can hold up to five magazines at a time and replenish them in five seconds. The effective firing range is up to 60m; the sidearm is light enough for Alex to use another handheld weapon with his free hand like his Data bayonet or grab onto ledges and walls when freerunning.

Grapple Launchers - (600, requires Ranged Proficiency, Burst Movement)
Located in both forearm sections of Alexander’s Pilot suit are launchers that fire spike-tipped steel cables that latch onto anything. These cables can resist most attempts at being cut and can hold a Pilot in full combat gear or upwards of 750 Lbs of weight. Primarily used as a method of relocation that can propel Alexander through the air to the desired location. Maximum range is two hundred and fifty yards; the cables are capable of creating instant ziplines that snap tight near instantly. The ziplines can fully extend and retract within three seconds the motors responsible for firing the cables can propel the user instantaneously. These launchers can also be utilised as weapons, latching onto opponents with its metal barbs or tripping them. This tactic is ill-advised against bigger and heavier opponents as they can simply pull on the cable/s and drag Alexander towards them.

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

@Alex:
You can send it off to move approval now, if you want. But I'd note that they'll probably say you're going too fast too easily with the grapple. Especially since he can pull someone else that fast as well.

So, maybe add a drawback. Like using them is tiring due to the acceleration putting a strain on his body. Or just reduce the speed and range.

[Oleander]

Ignore this, meant to post in QQ!

[Dust]

Wolf's Tail (300 om)
Requires Debuff Prof and Physical Prof.
Can only be used in T1: Puppy, T2: Wolf, T2: Volk - and when I get them - Lycan and Ookami
A super fluffy tail that is about 3 feet long comes with all transformations listed above. It's purpose is to harmlessly smack into a target who's within his range. The target is consumed with confusion about what just happened and will be like this for 5 seconds. This can be done while defending or attacking - as long as Dust knows the target is there - but not while moving.
-The cost for this is a simple kiss that lasts 6 seconds at least. (Can be done before, during, or after a fight.)

Note to Confused: You just got hit by some giant fluffy tail, you are perplexed and contemplating your life at this very moment. It takes 5 seconds for you to realize you are still in a fight unless you are attacked. You are able to move freely, although not gracefully - as if dazed. Feel free to dodge any incoming attack if you have foresight, other than that you only have to take one hit before it wears off.



Re-worked it a bit.

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

@Dust:
I don't see anything big missing, and it looks fairly balanced. But, perhaps mention something about it being less effective with repetitive uses. Since, otherwise you could basically hold off a few people indefinitely by continuously tail slapping them.

Besides that, I reckon you're good to go.

[Dust]

@Ebodane

Good point, and noted. =3 Thanks.

[Takanomiya Hijiri]

The long-winded explanation:
[spoiler]Okay, so this is going to be a kind of unusual request, but I'd like some help rewriting and combining two of my moves into one. I know that doing this will mean having to refund the original moves for half their actual value before buying the new version, but that's fine.

The originals are:

Gravity Manipulation – Stepping Stones (600)
(Flight, Master Acrobat)
Hijiri is able to change how gravity influences his whole body and reduce the effect so much that he is able to walk on water or leap through the air using small objects such as leaves or twigs as stepping stones. Hijiri must spend a small amount of energy to keep this ability active and, if he is not careful, risks tiring himself out. If this happens, gravity will begin to affect him normally and he will either fall through the surface of the water, or drop from the sky.

Gravity Manipulation – Variable Weighted Strikes (600)
(Physical Strength)
Hijiri is able to change how gravity influences only specific parts of his body. Using this ability, Hijiri is able to, with a few seconds of concentration, speed up his attacks. Making his arms (including weapons) lighter, he is able to attack faster but this also makes his attacks less powerful due to the reduced weight behind them. Hijiri can also, after a few seconds of concentration, increase the weight of his attacks. This usually happens in the split instant just before the strike lands, to get the most out of the effect. This also makes him a lot slower due to the increased weight of his body. This move requires a moderate amount of energy and will tire him out if overused.

These two moves were written for me by Daniel after he took pity on me and my utter inability to write this move in an approvable way, and at the time I was perfectly happy to accept them as they were, because I had been waiting over a week by that point and was really eager to get posting.

However, there are a couple inconsistencies that I'd like to remove, namely: there's no charge-up time for making his whole body as light as it can get, yet doing the same to his arm alone would take a few seconds; and he is capable of making his entire body lighter, yet can only make individual parts of it heavier.

I'm not necessarily looking to make it more powerful (though given how much OM I have right now, it doesn't really matter if it costs a bit more), but just more consistent.[/spoiler]
The actual move:
[spoiler]So here's my first draft:

Personal Gravity Manipulation (1200)
(Flight, Physical Strength)
Hijiri is able to alter the strength of gravity's effect on his body (and his weapons, clothes, etc.) to the extent of being able to become as light as a feather, as heavy as a tonne of bricks, or anything in between. These effects come with all of the associated up- and downsides you would expect.

Being extremely light would allow him to stand on fragile objects, 'fly' on gusts of wind, and attack quickly, for example, but would drastically weaken his blows due to the low weight behind them, and would allow him to be knocked or thrown around easily by others, whilst being extremely heavy would make his attacks noticeably stronger, but would also make him tire far faster and move much slower due to the additional weight.

Making himself lighter is instantaneous, regardless of the change in weight, and costs no energy. Making himself heavier requires one second of charge-up per 10kg of weight added (so increasing his weight from 'feather-like' to the maximum value of one tonne would take 100 seconds). This move drains his energy rapidly whilst charging. He is capable of moving whilst charging this, and can even begin an attack, however actually hitting (or being hit) by an opponent will interrupt the charge, and as no weight is added until he intentionally ends the charging period, this means that all progress will be lost, and his spent energy will have gone to waste. Maintaining this move has no inherent energy cost.

Hijiri can also have this move affect only part of his body (e.g. an arm or a leg) if he wishes it to. Note that whilst making his entire body weigh an amount far beyond his capacity to endure (e.g. a tonne) would kill him instantly, doing the same to an individual hand or foot, for example, would merely pin him to the ground, break every bone in the affected appendage and cause him to experience excruciating pain.

I'm not at all sure about the OM cost, by the way, so I just set it to match the sum total of the two moves I'm hoping to replace.[/spoiler]

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

@Hijiri:

Cost wise, you're good:
300 for light attacks. 600 for being able to become heavy by variable amounts. 300 to focus the apparent mass change in part of his body.
(you would need another 300 to walk on water, but that isn't included in the new version, and I wouldn't charge you for using the lightness to fly, since you've got the flying power - which essentially makes that part fodder, fodder I understand is important to your character)

One comment though:

Maintaining this move has no inherent energy cost.

Since you can effectively maintain this indefinitely (with the natural drawbacks), it kind of makes it a bit like a transformation/alt form. (i.e, when light you get +1 SPD but -1 ATK, and the opposite for being heavy - potentially being more potent at times). That kind of thing is likely to get rejected without additional downsides. Constant passive effects like you've described in the changed moves generally aren't doable (without being slowly draining or something) - for a set of strikes or a short time, it's fine though. The flying part of the move is basically fodder at this point though, since you actually have flight.

In the original version, it was worded like you'd have to charge each heavy strike, hence the new mechanics seem to be stronger.

So, perhaps have an inherent stamina drain. It doesn't need to be big, just enough that it stops you using them non-stop, so he has to at least do some management over it. Especially the lighter one, since that doesn't seem to have any stamina drain at all compared to the original move.

Fun comment: You could use this move to fly above someone, gain weight, and then slam down into them. Like a proper B+Down move. Pretty cool, if you hit. Although I don't think that's really your style.

[Mori Hui]

Keep in mind this is just something I'm attempting to make work since it's a signature move of Mori's in G.o.H.

3rd Stance Hwechook (300 OM)
Requires Physical Strength and Burst Movement
A three-step kick and one of the most advanced moves in Renewal Taekwondo. Hui Mori moves towards his opponent at blinding speeds and delivers a three kicks his opponent in the head in three different directions so fast that afterimages of each hit appear. After 2 seconds the opponent feels the impact of all three hits, each of which hits with three times the power of his normal kicks. A skilled opponent can move their head towards the initial blow to soften it's impact and throw off other his, or predict the move entirely and knock off the balance Mori needs making the attack have no effect if Mori's TEC is lower or equal to his opponents.


tl;dr: Is having a TEC requirement a drawback and if so how much does it get me?

[Ash]

Ultramarine's Chainsword (300 OM)
Requires Physical Prof.
Stabbed through by it by Brother Gaius and then banished to the Underworld, Ash decided to keep it.

This weapon is chainsaw first and a sword last, normally used to rip apart Orks - according to those who’ve witnessed its power - this one found itself in the hands of one Sex Deamon. Without proper training but the love for shock-and-awe tactics, Ash has developed a bond with the chainsword and gain proficiency with it. It has a 4 and a half foot blade that is lined with jagged teeth that when activate begin to rotate at dangerous speeds. She can comfortably use it with one hand or two.

[spoiler]
Invictus by William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul
[/spoiler]

[Takanomiya Hijiri]

(you would need another 300 to walk on water, but that isn't included in the new version, and I wouldn't charge you for using the lightness to fly, since you've got the flying power - which essentially makes that part fodder, fodder I understand is important to your character)

I'm not sure how clear this was in the original, but he could only ever walk on small objects (like leaves, feathers), not water itself, it's just that his weight became negligible, so if he was standing on something that could float, it would carry on floating.

One comment though:

Maintaining this move has no inherent energy cost.

Since you can effectively maintain this indefinitely (with the natural drawbacks), it kind of makes it a bit like a transformation/alt form. (i.e, when light you get +1 SPD but -1 ATK, and the opposite for being heavy - potentially being more potent at times). That kind of thing is likely to get rejected without additional downsides. Constant passive effects like you've described in the changed moves generally aren't doable (without being slowly draining or something) - for a set of strikes or a short time, it's fine though. The flying part of the move is basically fodder at this point though, since you actually have flight.

In the original version, it was worded like you'd have to charge each heavy strike, hence the new mechanics seem to be stronger.

So, perhaps have an inherent stamina drain. It doesn't need to be big, just enough that it stops you using them non-stop, so he has to at least do some management over it. Especially the lighter one, since that doesn't seem to have any stamina drain at all compared to the original move.

Ah. It didn't even occur to me that it would be like an Alt Form, but you're right, there's no way it could be approved like this... the only problem is that now I'll need to add the ability to cancel the effect; I was hoping to have been able to just have him charge it up to an average human weight and leave it there as his 'default', but if it has to tire him while active then there will need to be a separate rule for that as well.

For the record, the original isn't necessarily only 'capable' of increasing his weight for one attack, it's just that being heavy would slow him down a lot, so he generally wouldn't want it to last longer (which is why losing weight had to be instant)... though after looking it over again I can see why it might give people that impression.

Fun comment: You could use this move to fly above someone, gain weight, and then slam down into them. Like a proper B+Down move. Pretty cool, if you hit. Although I don't think that's really your style.

Yeah, that might be worth trying... though I imagine I'd lead with the sword, rather than just, say, falling on them.
The only thing is that the way he flies with this more or less relies on the wind going in the direction he wants so not only is it not going to be something I can use a lot without making it seem kinda dumb ("oh, look, for the third time this fight the wind direction changed to perfectly suit his needs... how convenient and unexpected...")... but also it's all but unusable against a weather-control character like Summer/Sonny.

I'll post an updated version of the move soon.

[Takanomiya Hijiri]

Updated my move:

[spoiler]
Changes made in bold.

Personal Gravity Manipulation (1200)? (1800)?
(Flight, Physical Strength)
Hijiri is able to alter the strength of gravity's effect on his body (and his weapons, clothes, etc.) to the extent of being able to become as light as a feather, as heavy as a tonne of bricks, or anything in between. These effects come with all of the associated up- and downsides you would expect.

For example: being extremely light would allow him to stand on fragile objects, be carried along by gusts of wind, and attack quickly, but would drastically weaken his blows due to the low weight behind them, and would allow him to be knocked or thrown around effortlessly by others, whilst being extremely heavy would make him harder to knock over and his attacks noticeably stronger, but would also make every movement he made more difficult and more tiring, as well as much slower.

Making himself lighter is instantaneous, regardless of the change in weight, and costs no energy. Making himself heavier requires one second of charge-up per 10kg of weight added (so increasing his weight from 'feather-like' to the maximum value of one tonne would take 100 seconds). This move drains his energy rapidly whilst charging. He is capable of moving whilst charging this, and can even begin an attack, however actually hitting (or being hit) by an opponent will interrupt the charge, and as no weight is added until he intentionally ends the charging period, this means that all progress will be lost, and his spent energy will have gone to waste.

In addition, maintaining this move drains his energy slowly. Cancelling it returns him to his original weight instantly, but can only be done when he is within 10kg of that weight, or when he loses consciousness or dies. In the latter cases it is cancelled automatically, but in the former he must intentionally decide to end the effect.

Hijiri can also have this move affect only part (or parts) of his body (e.g. an arm & a leg) if he wishes it to. Note that whilst making his entire body weigh an amount far beyond his capacity to endure (e.g. a tonne) would kill him instantly, doing the same to an individual hand or foot, for example, would merely pin him to the ground, break every bone in the affected appendage and cause him to experience excruciating pain.

Altered the second paragraph to make it clearer that:
- This paragraph is an example.
- He has no control over the direction the wind takes him.
- Tossing around someone who weighs practically nothing is not at all difficult.
- Heavy things are harder to knock down.
- Being heavy makes movement more strenuous.

And added another paragraph later to cover the added energy drain and cancellation process, and in the last one have specified that the effect can affect multiple areas of his body.

I noticed that the way you valued the price of the move only included 300 for being lighter but 600 for getting heavier... but the lightweight version is actually variable too, so maybe I should add an extra 300... also, it might not have been clear that the specification of a single body part didn't necessarily mean just one limb (that was only meant as an example), so maybe 300 more for that too?
- Becoming lighter (variably) - 600
- Becoming heavier (variably) - 600
- Affecting specific body part(s) - 600

Is that how the pricing should work?[/spoiler]

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

Keep in mind this is just something I'm attempting to make work since it's a signature move of Mori's in G.o.H.

3rd Stance Hwechook (300 OM)
Requires Physical Strength and Burst Movement
A three-step kick and one of the most advanced moves in Renewal Taekwondo. Hui Mori moves towards his opponent at blinding speeds and delivers a three kicks his opponent in the head in three different directions so fast that afterimages of each hit appear. After 2 seconds the opponent feels the impact of all three hits, each of which hits with three times the power of his normal kicks. A skilled opponent can move their head towards the initial blow to soften it's impact and throw off other his, or predict the move entirely and knock off the balance Mori needs making the attack have no effect if Mori's TEC is lower or equal to his opponents.


tl;dr: Is having a TEC requirement a drawback and if so how much does it get me?

Doing three quick kicks in the rough time it would take to do one would usually have to either be very tiring, have a charge time, or make the kicks weaker. Otherwise, you could just spam it, and it'd be objectively better than just kicking normally.

Here, however, you want the kicked to be three times as powerful as usual. Essentially meaning, you are doing a single attack that's nine times stronger than your usual ones. Even if your TEC requirement was a drawback, it wouldn't be enough of one.

Having moves not work on someone with higher TEC than your character isn't much of a drawback, because it's your character. They probably have high TEC and you're playing to their strengths - which you should do. 

Anyway, back to the main move. You've got some options here:
1) Decrease the strength of each kick to be 3 times weaker than usual (then the overall move would be just as strong as a normal kick).

2) Have a charge time, make it very tiring, and generally add reasonable drawbacks. For example, maybe he can't use any of his other techniques (non-super moves) besides basic attacks for the next 30 seconds. Or maybe the leg he kicked with suffers a wave of exhaustion at the same time your opponent feels the damage from the kicks, meaning Mori can't move as fast for a little bit, and can't do any other kicks.

3) Decrease the strength of the kicks to normal strength, and then add some drawbacks. Since by doing that, you wouldn't need to have as many.

I will say, though. I don't know if you'll be able to keep each kick as fast and strong as you've got it right now. Even with drawbacks. Unless there's a reasonable charge time. Since, an effective nine times the damage of a usual kick is a lot.

((I'll get to Hijiri and Ash tonight, if no one else does))

[Oleander]

Bond of the Glass Martyr 300
Requires: Ranged, Buff
The Glass Martyr is a spell in which the user takes damage in place of an ally. Not only is this damage unavoidable, but it is more than what the original damage would have been.

Stein must focus for five seconds, remaining absolutely still and using no other Moves. Taking even minor damage can cause this manifestation time to be lost. During this time, he creates a small glass orb, which he can then throw with great accuracy up to five meters, hopefully hitting a target (who can also aid this by actively catching it.) If it hits th ground or an enemy intercepts, it shatters and the move ends. The energy required is minor, but repeated uses can stack up.

Upon contact with an ally, the orb shatters and encases them in an ethereal, weightless glass armor. This is mainly aesthetic... However, the ally's received damage for one minute is reduced by half. The other half of the damage is inflicted upon Stein as if he were hit, but bypasses half of his Defense and cannot be avoided.

It takes only slight mental focus to maintain a single buff, but he can have up to three allies under the effect of this spell at any one time. Received damage does not break this particular focus, but using a move which requires major concentration can cause all buffs to fail. The range is 30 meters, beyond this the buff immediately ends.





This is a Bond of the Guardian rehash, using the FFXIV spell that Omni pointed out. I've upped the cost to maintain, downed the time, lowered the number of running buffs, gave it a bit of range.

Its still a bit wordy, but the effect is simple. Ally takes half damage, Stein takes the other half at half Defense, 5 second high focus charge up for 60 seconds.



Attempt to simplify:
Stein maintains absolute focus for five seconds to charge up the spell as an orb, which he then throws with great accuracy up to 5 meters (15 feet.) If an ally is hit, they are shrouded in ghost-like glass armor and gain the buff. If it misses (or an enemy intercepts) the spell ends. The spell costs minor fatigue.

Allies take half damage with the rest hitting Stein. This damage is unavoidable and bypasses half of his defense. It lasts for 40 seconds and has a range of up to 30 meters. The focus to maintain an individual Buff is minor, but stacks with itself.

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

@Stein:
I don't think you're missing any specifics, and at a glance, the balancing looks alright, since the net total of damage taken is increased. So I think you're good to send it off.

@Ash:
Looks awesome. To the move approval!

@Hijiri:
Price wise, I honestly don't think there's enough difference between being a little bit lighter, and a lot lighter. Especially since he can fly anyway.  I guess, yeah, you might need 600 for variable lightness, but I'd personally give you that for 300. Variable heaviness is going to be 600, as you noted. And then it's only an extra 300 to focus on particular body parts. Not 600. Focusing on a specific area of his body is one function. Paying to affect all of it is already worked into the cost. So, that 300 you're spending to allow you to make one foot heavy, can also be used to make one foot and one arm heavy.

So, I still stand with my 1200 OM judgement, although I guess it could go up to 1500 OM depending how the variable lightness was ruled. 

As for the move itself, how does focusing it into a body part affect the move? Does the focused change in mass allow him to punch harder with that one hand, but at the cost of being even harder to control and putting him off balance?

Lastly, 

Cancelling it returns him to his original weight instantly, but can only be done when he is within 10kg of that weight

It's unclear how he would cancel the move if he's more than 10kg from his original weight.

P.S. kg is a measure of mass, not weight *angry physicist screaming*

[Oleander]

Which version? Simplified or full detail?

[Dane Regan]

@Stein: Whoops, I meant complex. Because I don't think it's too long.

[Oleander]

One more, then his base arsenal will be complete!

Shell-Shock: 600
Requires: Area Shield Proficiency, Area Attack Proficiency
By curling up in the fetal position, Stein can create a full body shield. This takes only two seconds to initiate, but while in use he cannot use any other move. He is capable of rolling around at full speed, slamming into opponents to great effect - though maneuvering is actually quite difficult. The shield can absorb a great deal of damage, though the more damage, the more tiring to maintain. He can only hold it up to a maximum of 30 seconds before the shell shatters. When the spell ends, the shell shatters, spraying all those in two meters with large shards of glass. The closer to the shell, the more pieces the target takes - though each only do minor damage.

As an alternative to rolling about, an ally can pick up the shelled Stein as if he were nearly weightless and throw him up to thirty meters with decent accuracy. Stein can add his own force to this, but upon impact, the spell immediately ends, the explosion's range doubling.

Due to the exhausting nature, he must rest afterwards. He cannot use any other move for roughly twenty seconds and his speed is halved... and due to the rolling and/or throwing, his technique is also halved, due to motion sickness.