Whine Tasting

[Handsome Jack]

Vision is inorganic. Cannot drink. Such a waste.

0/10

[Spur]

This one is good. I'll take what you got on Zack, Matrix, and Zedd.

[Serraph Quarrere]

If you would, Serraph Quarrere and Miranda Frost~

[Handsome Jack]

Zach is pretty stronk and has that magic. Still, he's a pretty generic videogame protag and less popular than his clone. Basically Pepsi.

6/10

Matrix is a computer program. As much as I'd enjoy drinking him, it's impossible.

0/10

What the fuck even IS Zedd? I suppose he's organic, and he's no weakling... Space alien man would be quite an exotic treat.

7/10

Serraph is just a soul given physical form. Can't drink that. Basically just one of thos toy baby bottles that make it look like it has a drink in it, but doesn't.

0/10

Miranda is another human. A powerful human, but still nothing new. I could get the same taste from any old person on the road.

5/10

[Jade Harley]

!!! Me!

[Handsome Jack]

Jade is God Dog. The taste is... divine. And I hear dog is also pretty tasty.

9/10

[Daniel]

Cloud and Minato?

[Android 17]

the fuck

[Aquamarine]

Do Android 18.

[Handsome Jack]

Cloud is the Coke to Zach's Pepsi. Basically the same.

6/10

Ninja dude with some ninja dude powers? Barely better than a normal guy. Doesn't even have fox demon in him. So sad.

6/10

[Handsome Jack]

17 and 18 are the true ambrosia I've been seeking. Such is their deliciousness, that they transcend the 10 point scale. I cannot grade what is perfection.

[Yukika Inoue]

Eat me, eat me good green guy. (IM WEAK AGAINST BUG TYPES)

[Handsome Jack]

Psychic sex dolls make for poor beverages. Too salty, if you understand my meaning.

3/10

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

I am made of darkness or something. I really don't know. Do me.

Also do Dane, the selfie stick guy.

[Aquamarine]

Do Emperor Palpatine and King Aragorn, leaders of opposing factions.

[Ash]

Tell me what you think about me, stud muffin. <3

[Handsome Jack]

Ebonywood? Kinda a weird name for a drink. Basically: wood-wood. And doesn't even taste like wood. Kind of a sharp taste.

3/10

Dane has an ambiguous taste, one that seems to change with the times. Not awful, but nothing special either.

5/10

Ol' Palps was aged a bit too much. Kind of a dry taste and a bit electric on the tongue. Woulda been better a decade or two earlier.

4/10

For a king, Aragorn doesn't really have a regal taste to him. In fact, he seems no different than any other dude. I sense a hint of something special in there, but it's drowned by the overwhelming normalcy of the rest.

5/10

[Handsome Jack]

A demon girl who likes a fun night? I'm in. Just need to get tested afterwards and maybe start an antibiotic regimen. Can never be too careful. Still, the taste is worth the risk. Spicy and exotic.

8/10

[Gaston]

How does Judge Dredd taste?

[Handsome Jack]

Dredd has a highly structure flavour profile. Maybe too structured. I need a little variety in my drinks, and this guy just gives the same, admittedly above par, taste every time.

6/10