Move Creation Workshop

[Demetri Malius]

(Ranged Proficiency) 300 Om-  
The LSR44 Spoor provides a unique hybrid of carbon and sniper rifle. Its firing mechanism uses an electronic rail-based technology. The design features open rails to vent built-up plasma to prevent damage to the firing system due to heat. The defalt firing mode of the LSR44 (Sniper Rifle) takes about a few seconds to aim and reload. It contains 24 bullets per magazine and can cause high damage. The alternate fire mode (Rail gun) takes about a few seconds to aim and reload. Each magazine of the alternative mode contains 24 blasts of built-up plasma/rail and can only get 2 shots per magazine. It does high damage.

Before I go ahead and ask for any clarifications for this move, I want to ask what you are trying to do to separate the two modes? Is one supposed to be more damaging than the other? If so probably have a little bit more different specs for each type of fire. In addition, this would probably cost 600 om.

Some things to think about:

Range?
Reload Time?
Time to switch between modes?
Bullet speed?
Summon time, if any?
Can it be fired while moving?

[Jack Darby]

Oan Power Ring (300, Ranged Proficiency): 

In the days of the original Green Lantern Corps, the Guardian known as Meadlux created a power ring specifically for the Guardians. An Oan power ring possessed the same capabilities as a standard ring, but was fueled by the internal power of its wielder and thus did not need to be recharged. Unlike the traditional Green Lantern Ring, an Oan ring did not contain the impurity that restricted its capabilities against materials colored yellow. The revelation that such a weapon existed caused a great schism within the ranks of the Green Lantern Corps. Officers who had lost close comrades due to adversaries empowered by yellow weaponry lost faith in the Guardians, some of whom, such as Galius Zed, Eddore and Kaylark even went so far as to turn their backs on the Guardians, coveting the rings for themselves. Another group of individuals who took an interest in the Oan rings were the space pirates known as the Free Lancers..In the Omniverse the ring may have lost it's properties, for the most part.  This ring is still capable of shooting green energy beams out of it. The beams appear to be fists made out of a green crystalline energy. They travel at the speed of an arrow. This can be used while moving, or with other moves. This is moderately draining, equivalent to a light work out when he uses it. Each blast has 5 seconds to cool down. It has a range of 75 feet. The ring was discovered somewhere in Camelot by Jack. While not an ideal power ring, the ring has been picked up by him because he needs one. 

[Lucas Kellan]

(Thanks Demetri for the feedback!)

300 OM- Tactical Echo- A tactical machine that Lucas or Echo can use to track enemies from 15 ft to 20 ft away. The green screen can track enemies using heat signatures. However, the louder it gets, the more the enemy can hear the ping sound.

(Not sure if this can be considered fodder or not)

[Dave Strider]

Oan Power Ring (300, Ranged Proficiency): 

In the days of the original Green Lantern Corps, the Guardian known as Meadlux created a power ring specifically for the Guardians. An Oan power ring possessed the same capabilities as a standard ring, but was fueled by the internal power of its wielder and thus did not need to be recharged. Unlike the traditional Green Lantern Ring, an Oan ring did not contain the impurity that restricted its capabilities against materials colored yellow. The revelation that such a weapon existed caused a great schism within the ranks of the Green Lantern Corps. Officers who had lost close comrades due to adversaries empowered by yellow weaponry lost faith in the Guardians, some of whom, such as Galius Zed, Eddore and Kaylark even went so far as to turn their backs on the Guardians, coveting the rings for themselves. Another group of individuals who took an interest in the Oan rings were the space pirates known as the Free Lancers..In the Omniverse the ring may have lost it's properties, for the most part.  This ring is still capable of shooting green energy beams out of it. The beams appear to be fists made out of a green crystalline energy. They travel at the speed of an arrow. This can be used while moving, or with other moves. This is moderately draining, equivalent to a light work out when he uses it. Each blast has 5 seconds to cool down. It has a range of 75 feet. The ring was discovered somewhere in Camelot by Jack. While not an ideal power ring, the ring has been picked up by him because he needs one. 

[spoiler]

[/spoiler]

This looks pretty good how you described it here, range, a rate of fire/cooldown, speed, etc. Maybe add a beam width and bold the last few sentences though to make it easier for move approval, the first half is mostly lore. 

(Thanks Demetri for the feedback!)

300 OM- Tactical Echo- A tactical machine that Lucas or Echo can use to track enemies from 15 ft to 20 ft away.  The green screen can track enemies using heat signatures.  However, the louder it gets, the more the enemy can hear the ping  sound.

(Not sure if this can be considered fodder or not)

I would say you definitely are gonna need enhanced senses for this, as it would cover its bases. You would be able to describe it as this and take away the sound downside, but otherwise its just gonna fluff the power. No-go for a regular move, good as fodder for Enhanced Senses.

[Jack Darby]

Forge of Solus Prime (???, ???, ??? OM): 

The Forge of Solus Prime was a weapon of the Primes that could be used by Solus Prime, and was in fact her signature relic. This allowed her to smith fine blades like the Star Saber, armor such as the Apex Armor, and many other weapons. The Forge of Solus Prime has retained that power in the Omniverse, allowing Jack to craft weapons for others, and even transfer a copy of his moves to his allies. However, this comes at a cost. When he has transferred a move, he cannot use said move. It also makes him nauseated every time he does this. In addition, it reduces his spd, tec, atk, and def by 1 each time he does this for the duration of the thread. This weapon takes him 10 seconds to summon to his hands. 

There is another use for it however. Jack can also use this to smith rings for the Green Lantern Corps, or weapons for other people without the sickness, so long as he is not in a fight, or about to get into a fight. 



Will Body (???, ???, ??? OM): 

Will Body is a move that allows Jack to coat his body in green energy, temporarily boosting his speed, and agility, and reflexes, along with his physical strength. Basically this is akin to him internalizing the power from the Oan Ring. However, his body cannot handle doing this for a long period of time. Basically, this move is not made for combat, but can be used in combat if he wishes to run the risk of damaging his body severely.

[Demetri Malius]

Forge of Solus Prime (???, ???, ??? OM): 

The Forge of Solus Prime was a weapon of the Primes that could be used by Solus Prime, and was in fact her signature relic. This allowed her to smith fine blades like the Star Saber, armor such as the Apex Armor, and many other weapons. The Forge of Solus Prime has retained that power in the Omniverse, allowing Jack to craft weapons for others, and even transfer a copy of his moves to his allies. However, this comes at a cost. When he has transferred a move, he cannot use said move. It also makes him nauseated every time he does this. In addition, it reduces his spd, tec, atk, and def by 1 each time he does this for the duration of the thread. This weapon takes him 10 seconds to summon to his hands. 

There is another use for it however. Jack can also use this to smith rings for the Green Lantern Corps, or weapons for other people without the sickness, so long as he is not in a fight, or about to get into a fight. 



Will Body (???, ???, ??? OM): 

Will Body is a move that allows Jack to coat his body in green energy, temporarily boosting his speed, and agility, and reflexes, along with his physical strength. Basically this is akin to him internalizing the power from the Oan Ring. However, his body cannot handle doing this for a long period of time. Basically, this move is not made for combat, but can be used in combat if he wishes to run the risk of damaging his body severely.

There are quite a bit of things here for the Forge, so I'm gonna spitball an idea to modify it.

Forge of Solus Prime(600?; Requires Mimic, Buff)

The Forge of Solus Prime was a weapon of the Primes that could be used by Solus Prime and was, in fact, her signature relic. This allowed her to Smith fine blades like the Star Saber, armor such as the Apex Armor, and many other weapons. The Forge of Solus Prime has retained that power in the Omniverse, allowing Jack to craft weapons for others, and even transfer a copy of his moves to his allies. To do this, he takes ten seconds to quickly summon the hammer and an anvil, taking a singular weapon and setting it on the anvil before charging up with an overhead smash. This adjusts the weapon to be able to be used by a specified ally. However, this comes at a cost. When he has transferred a move, he cannot use the move for the rest of a battle, even if the move in question is not being used.

Now for Will Body, this cannot be a move. The only way to directly buff stats is by power-ups, so just by one that increases each of your stats. Remember that you cannot put more than half the points in one stat for the power up.

[Jack Darby]

Forge of Solus Prime(600?; Requires Mimic, Buff)

The Forge of Solus Prime was a weapon of the Primes that could be used by Solus Prime and was, in fact, her signature relic. This allowed her to Smith fine blades like the Star Saber, armor such as the Apex Armor, and many other weapons. The Forge of Solus Prime has retained that power in the Omniverse, allowing Jack to craft weapons for others, and even transfer a copy of his moves to his allies. To do this, he takes ten seconds to quickly summon the hammer and an anvil, taking a singular weapon and setting it on the anvil before charging up with an overhead smash. This adjusts the weapon to be able to be used by a specified ally. However, this comes at a cost. When he has transferred a move, he cannot use the move for the rest of a battle, even if the move in question is not being used. This also transfers any moves that are connected to the the move he is transferring.

[Dave Strider]

Forge of Solus Prime(600?; Requires Mimic, Buff)

The Forge of Solus Prime was a weapon of the Primes that could be used by Solus Prime and was, in fact, her signature relic. This allowed her to Smith fine blades like the Star Saber, armor such as the Apex Armor, and many other weapons. The Forge of Solus Prime has retained that power in the Omniverse, allowing Jack to craft weapons for others, and even transfer a copy of his moves to his allies. To do this, he takes ten seconds to quickly summon the hammer and an anvil, taking a singular weapon and setting it on the anvil before charging up with an overhead smash. This adjusts the weapon to be able to be used by a specified ally. However, this comes at a cost. When he has transferred a move, he cannot use the move for the rest of a battle, even if the move in question is not being used. This also transfers any moves that are connected to the the move he is transferring.

This looks pretty good as a start, I would have to look more into rule stuff to see if it would need anything else.

[Jack Darby]

Green Lantern Power Ring Prototype (???, ???,???): 

The Green Lantern Prototype was forged by Jack with the Forge of Solus Pirme. The ring is a prototype, and has many of the capabilities of a Green Lantern Ring. This acts as a Mobile Dataverse Device, and a Communicator. This ring is still capable of shooting green energy beams out of it. The beams appear to be fists made out of a green crystalline energy. They travel at the speed of an arrow. This can be used while moving, or with other moves. This is moderately draining, equivalent to a light work out when he uses it. Each blast has 5 seconds to cool down. It has a range of 75 feet. The ring was discovered somewhere in Camelot by Jack. 

While not an ideal power ring, the ring has been picked up by him because he needs one. This is the typical attack mode of the ring. Jack Darby can summon objects with his ring to interact with and manipulate objects at range. These manipulations are analogous to the things that a person with two large hands could feasibly complete (moving, pushing, pulling, pressing, turning, etc). These objects have superficial images associated with them, always in the form of an object that is completing the task. If the object is grabbing and moving another thing, it will have a "grasping" mechanic, be it a hand, a mouth, a clamp, a claw, etc. These images are purely illusory, and the strength of the object is always the same. That means that a Construct shaped like a hand and a Construct shaped like a crowbar are equally good at prying something open and etc. 

These grabbing constructs appear as a tendril of rope-like light that extends from Jack's power ring, ending in the chosen 'grabber'. They can extend as far as Jack's concentration allows, but the longer the grabber, the more easily it is broken. His constructs are colored emerald. While these objects are illusory and can fulfill only one purpose, they can be attacked, damaged and destroyed. The more damage they take, the more strain it puts on Jack's mind. The more energy he puts into these objects, the harder they are to break but the more physically and mentally exhausted he becomes. These objects will immediately dissipate upon his breaking his concentration for any reason. Maximum range of ~30 meters (~100 feet) This is the 2nd ability of the ring.

The ring can also shoot a beam of energy that can lift objects around an opponent, and use them as projectiles traveling at the speed of an arrow. Alternately these objects can also be used to bludgeon his opponent, smashing the objects into their head with the beam from the ring. 

Another way the ring could be used is that it could be used to create a Green Energy Shield around him capable of nullifying non - super moves provided his DEF / Tec be high enough to do so. This takes about 7 seconds to activate. 

Could I have help to rewrite this? 

[Jak Mar]

Natural Claws- Dark Jak's claws, while as long as a dagger length, can tear through steel armor or so. It can also cause paralysis in certain body parts if people get too close to dark jak while in this form.

Wings of Mar- (Flight) Big translucent angel wings used by Light Jak to fly distances.

[Shantotto]

Bio (600 om) Ranged proficiency / Debuff Proficiency

Shantotto channels for one second while able to defend herself with her stardust rod, before launching a ball of green and black liquid at her target, the ball is roughly 4 inches in diameter and continues to swirl around. It travels faster than an arrow but slower than a bullet at roughly 200m per second.

This ball splatters on impact coating any surface or person struck by it with a corrosive compound deals a small amount of damage over time, but also makes the target more susceptible to magic based attacks by acting as a magical conductor, making the next non Bio spell (limited to Flare, Flood, Quake, or Freeze) that deals damage to the target deal 10% more damage. The corrosive effect and debuff last for 15 seconds and the timer is refreshed with each hit.

This attack takes a small amount of stamina to cast and can be cast quickly up to 5 times to stack up the effect up to 5 times. However the stamina cost is increases with each use,starting at being barely draining and ending up at very tiring after all five uses. The refresh timer to reset the stamina cost in 30 seconds. In addition if all 5 shots are used up Shantotto has to wait ten minutes before being able to use the attack again.



Looking for help getting this perfected

[PepsiWhirda]

Looking to develop a poison-based debuff move that can be applied to both melee and ranged weapons. Is there a precedent for this that anyone knows of? I'm thinking something along the lines of a paralytic that affects reaction time and mobility, with the effect stacking per application.

And while I'm here, also looking for an example of a super utility that reduces enemy TEC/DEF.

[Jack Darby]

Burning Rubber (???, ???): 

Using Arcee, Jack will drive her at his maximum speed up to an opponent before revving the engine, and slamming the front wheel of the motorcycle into the face of the opponent. The sensation of hot rubber will do damage to an opponent's face, and also lessen the accuracy of any of their attacks considerably for the next 15 seconds. When he uses this move, Jack cannot use other moves unless they are hand free, and moving around is much more difficult, unless done using Arcee.

[Jack Darby]

Green Lantern Power Ring Prototype (???, ???,???): 

The Green Lantern Prototype was forged by Jack with the Forge of Solus Pirme. The ring is a prototype, and has many of the capabilities of a Green Lantern Ring. This acts as a Mobile Dataverse Device, and a Communicator. This ring is still capable of shooting green energy beams out of it. The beams appear to be fists made out of a green crystalline energy. They travel at the speed of an arrow. This can be used while moving, or with other moves. This is moderately draining, equivalent to a light work out when he uses it. Each blast has 5 seconds to cool down. It has a range of 75 feet. The ring was discovered somewhere in Camelot by Jack. 

While not an ideal power ring, the ring has been picked up by him because he needs one. This is the typical attack mode of the ring. Jack Darby can summon objects with his ring to interact with and manipulate objects at range. These manipulations are analogous to the things that a person with two large hands could feasibly complete (moving, pushing, pulling, pressing, turning, etc). These objects have superficial images associated with them, always in the form of an object that is completing the task. If the object is grabbing and moving another thing, it will have a "grasping" mechanic, be it a hand, a mouth, a clamp, a claw, etc. These images are purely illusory, and the strength of the object is always the same. That means that a Construct shaped like a hand and a Construct shaped like a crowbar are equally good at prying something open and etc. 

These grabbing constructs appear as a tendril of rope-like light that extends from Jack's power ring, ending in the chosen 'grabber'. They can extend as far as Jack's concentration allows, but the longer the grabber, the more easily it is broken. His constructs are colored emerald. While these objects are illusory and can fulfill only one purpose, they can be attacked, damaged and destroyed. The more damage they take, the more strain it puts on Jack's mind. The more energy he puts into these objects, the harder they are to break but the more physically and mentally exhausted he becomes. These objects will immediately dissipate upon his breaking his concentration for any reason. Maximum range of ~30 meters (~100 feet) This is the 2nd ability of the ring.

The ring can also shoot a beam of energy that can lift objects around an opponent, and use them as projectiles traveling at the speed of an arrow. Alternately these objects can also be used to bludgeon his opponent, smashing the objects into their head with the beam from the ring. 

Another way the ring could be used is that it could be used to create a Green Energy Shield around him capable of nullifying non - super moves provided his DEF / Tec be high enough to do so. This takes about 7 seconds to activate. 

Burning Rubber (???, ???): 

Using Arcee, Jack will drive her at his maximum speed up to an opponent before revving the engine, and slamming the front wheel of the motorcycle into the face of the opponent. The sensation of hot rubber will do damage to an opponent's face, and also lessen the accuracy of any of their attacks considerably for the next 15 seconds. When he uses this move, Jack cannot use other moves unless they are hand free, and moving around is much more difficult, unless done using Arcee.

Failed Star Saber Replica (???,???): 

A plain sword with a blade out of blue energy. This takes him about 5 seconds to materialize. The blade can clash with most blades including lightsabers, and similar. The sword is one handed. Can be used with other moves, so long as he has a hand free to hold the sword. This was forged with the Forge of Solus Prime. 

The Will Blade (???,???): 

The Will Blade was made by Jack Darby during his travels of the Tangled Green. A heavier sword that requires both hands. This sword has a spot for his Oan Power Ring in the sword. It can clash with most blades, and is a heavy sword. It's about 3 feet long and heavy. The sword can ignite with green flames, and clash with most blades when the Oan Power ring is inserted. However without the Oan Power Ring inserted, Jack cannot use the blade. When he is using it he cannot use the Oan Power Ring.  It was forged by Jack with the Forge of Solus Prime. 

Green Lantern Construct  - Sword (???, ???): 

One of the first constructs with the Green Lantern Ring Jack has learned how to make. A hand and a half sword, this sword takes about 3 seconds for him to manifest. The sword can clash with lightsabers, and any other blades. It is made out of will power. 

[Sarah Kerrigan]

Sunken Strike

Kerrigan concentrates her psychic abilities, coordinating with a nearby zerg hive cluster she'd set up before the battle started. Activating one of the oldest, most reliable of Zerg defence systems, she utilizes one of her nearby sunken colonies to summon a giant, man-sized spike of Crystallized organic matter underneath her opponent's feet. The attack takes roughly six seconds of concentration from kerrigan to initiate, during which she needs to focus her psychic abilities entirely on directing the subterranean tentacle's target. She may dodge attacks and move during this time, but not attack with either physical prowess or special techniques until she finishes concentration.
The attack takes an additional couple seconds to make it's way from an off-site location to it's target, generating a loud rumble on it's way and Creating a visible trail of disturbed earth leading to it's target destination before bursting out underneath it's intended target, skewering them with a high-powered tendril of force. The Tendril itself is incredibly fast to burst from the ground, moving at the speed of sound, and hits incredibly hard, but Kerrigan cannot correct it's target destination once the tentacle begins movement. While easy to see coming, it hits as hard as an anti-tank rifle in terms of relative power. This technique moderately drains Kerrigan to use, and requires a rest time of 10 seconds between uses of the ability.

[The Emperor of Mankind]

Don't explicitly make a comparison to a real life thing in terms of damage and only waiting 10 seconds inbetween powerful moves seems a bit small. Other than that it looks fine apart from how Kerrigan managed to set up zerg hives everywhere.

[Sarah Kerrigan]

"Don't explicitly make a comparison to a real life thing in terms of damage"

Why would I not do that? I've been asked to make comparisons to IRL stuff over hard numbers before, with stuff like the speed and etc. of my moves.

The 10 second cooldown is more there for flavor, the combined 8 second set-up is more what I'm using for the move's justification (and the ease at which the move can be dodged)

[The Emperor of Mankind]

Because damage comes down to stats, I can't have a move that says it's like a grenade but also have 1 ATK. Speed works fine because it's probably just projectile or in your case maybe zergling speed but how strong it is comes down to the user and with stat upgrades and power ups that's subject to change.

[Dane Regan]

What he means is, "it hits as hard as an anti-tank rifle in terms of relative power" is also dependant on your ATK stat. Someone using your move with 0 ATK won't get it to hit as hard. Someone with 20 ATK would get it to hit a lot harder. And so on. It's better to say a move is "very powerful" or "moderately damaging", etc.

[Sarah Kerrigan]

What he means is, "it hits as hard as an anti-tank rifle in terms of relative power" is also dependant on your ATK stat. Someone using your move with 0 ATK won't get it to hit as hard. Someone with 20 ATK would get it to hit a lot harder. And so on. It's better to say a move is "very powerful" or "moderately damaging", etc.

Alrighty. is this just the case for Damage, or should I avoid real-world comparisons altogether from here on?