Move Creation Workshop

[Dane Regan]

Can someone help me rewrite this to not need Superspeed please?

I'm not going to rewrite a whole move for you since I'm busy and I have exams. If you take a crack at it yourself, someone might be able to take a look at it.

But, I do have a similar strong punching move that just needs physical strength:

Break a Leg (300): Physical 
[spoiler]By channelling his mana through one of his limbs, Dane can unleash an incredibly powerful strike. Charging this takes around three seconds, which he can do while moving, but attacking or getting hit breaks his concentration, and must be used the moment it’s ready. Once charged, Dane can execute a punch, kick, or any melee weapon attack. If the attack connects, the stored mana hits with enough force to send opponents flying back a few meters. The extreme strength comes at a cost, however. A successful punch fractures the bones in Dane's hand, and possibly his arm as well if he’s unlucky, while a successful kick fractures or possibly even outright breaks his leg. When using a weapon, while it typically won't get damaged by doing this (unless it's more fragile, like an incidental one), the limb(s) Dane used to hold it will suffer. In essence: same effect, just a different execution. Though he can continue to strike even after he’s broken many bones, overdoing it with the same limb causes larger breaks, and eventually an unplanned amputation. This doesn't use much mana, so Dane is simply left wounded and winded after use.[/spoiler]
Just run up to someone when you use it and it'll basically be the same thing. Well, not quite, since this is actually more damaging than Chaos Breaker, but doesn't come with the explosion. It's more of a focused mega-punch. Or mega-kick, if you want to kick someone. Or mega-sword swing if you use a sword... You get what I mean...

[Reece]

Can someone help me rewrite this to not need Superspeed please?

This is how I would write your Move:

Chaos Breaker (300)
(Physical Strength)
Unicron punches forward with enough speed and force that the impact creates an explosive shockwave. When punching an object, such as the ground, or a wall, cracks will first radiate from his punch, and then explode outwards, destroying about everything within five feet of the impact point, most intensely directly in front of his fist, and the force dissipating as it gets further away. When simply punching liquid, there will be a huge dip in the water at the point of impact, and two seconds later the water will rush back with explosive force to refill the hole. When punching air, the shockwave takes the form of a massive rush of air-pressure, blowing away anything that weighs less than two hundred pounds for five feet around his fist. The air-pressure wave takes on the general form of an egg-shape, extending five feet from his fist, with the narrowest point coming from his fist and getting wider as the shockwave continues.

The actual destructive effect is about twenty times more powerful than an ordinary punch of someone with his ATK.

Pulling his fist back takes about a second, during which time he charges up his energy rapidly (causing purple electricity to begin crackling across his body), before throwing the punch. The shockwave produced by this punch travels at the speed of sound. He can strike with either arm or both arms simultaneously, however using a Chaos Breaker punch leaves a strain on each arm used, so he should rest them for about a minute before he attempts it again. Using this move just once is severely taxing, but doing it multiple times in a row (ignoring the rest period) would be utterly exhausting; to such an extent that after a mere five uses in quick succession, he would be left unable to continue fighting and would have to rest for an hour to recover.

In order to use the move properly he must concentrate briefly and be standing still. If he's attempting a Chaos Breaker, but he is distracted or moved suddenly, he will simply do a regular punch, having lost concentration. In addition, he is unable to use any other Moves alongside this one, due to the focus necessary.

You had a lot of stuff in there that could be cut out.
... And some stuff that just made no sense, like the shockwave lasting 3 seconds... that's absurdly slow for such a short range effect.


Note: I put the punch at 20x normal because you're wanting to break stone, and based on some extremely brief and poorly-researched-research (via Google), I reckon that's about roughly the strength you'd need for that (assuming your ATK is 2).
Also, your drawbacks are pretty big...
TBH, though, I dunno much about balancing Moves. That number might end up getting nerfed down quite a bit.

[Dane Regan]

1) He's not going to be able to punch 20 times than his usual attack strength. This move has a 1 second charge time (maybe about 2 or 3 times longer than the wind up for a normal punch). A high fatigue cost. And a 1 minute cooldown - which he doesn't have to abide by. That's like... no. Yes, the fatigue cost is high, but it can't justify something like that. That's just silly.
2) Don't bother putting quantifiers like that in moves. The strength is implied by the drawbacks. It makes something needlessly number-grindy.
3) This should really have Area Attack. (And, since there force is spread outwards, that will also dilute the damage by a bit.)

Also, this move wasn't Raf's. It was the All Might's. He's trying to adapt it for his character, I assume.

[Reece]

1) He's not going to be able to punch 20 times than his usual attack strength. This move has a 1 second charge time (maybe about 2 or 3 times longer than the wind up for a normal punch). A high fatigue cost. And a 1 minute cooldown - which he doesn't have to abide by. That's like... no. Yes, the fatigue cost is high, but it can't justify something like that. That's just silly.
2) Don't bother putting quantifiers like that in moves. The strength is implied by the drawbacks. It makes something needlessly number-grindy.
3) This should really have Area Attack. (And, since there force is spread outwards, that will also dilute the damage by a bit.)

Also, this move wasn't Raf's. It was the All Might's. He's trying to adapt it for his character, I assume.

Well, no offence to All Might, but the original Move was really badly written. I added the bit about the 1 minute cooldown being optional, because it made no sense before, since that cooldown was mandatory, but he also had the additional hour's fatigue... which only applied if he used it five times in quick succession... which he was literally incapable of doing, because of the cooldown.

Also, a couple things worth noting here:

1) The 1 minute thing doesn't just affect this Move alone; it says he should rest his arm, meaning that he shouldn't be using any Moves that involve that arm... though this is just a soft limit with the way I've reworked it, of course.

2) The Stat scale isn't even close to linear (except for SPD). It's actually pretty crazy how the scaling works for ATK & DEF in particular. Since 4 ATK is enough to break concrete with a normal Move, and punches count as being as strong as normal Moves if you have Physical Strength... really, it's only about as powerful as a punch thrown by someone with 4 or maybe 5 ATK...
It's just that someone with that ATK is about 20 times stronger than someone with 2 ATK...

... at least, based on my extremely shoddy research.




That said, like I mentioned before, I'm not really expecting him to get a number that high. I just don't know what number to actually put there.
Feel free to make a suggestion, Mr Move Guru.
=P

[Dane Regan]

You don't need to specify. As I said. You can just say it's a powerful attack. Someone with 4 ATK doesn't punch like 20 times harder than someone with 2 ATK, you're right that they probably punch more than twice as hard - at least when it comes to environmental damage. Normal people can break cinder blocks and shiz or whatever. Breaking concrete with normal moves doesn't mean you'll be shattering big amounts with normal punches. The stats are guidelines, dude. Also, it just says he should rest his arms before attempting this again. That's just a cooldown for this move, not for using his arms. Resting his arms is optional, and the way it reads is if he didn't rest his arms, he'd find this move hard to use. Which doesn't matter since he can use it in quick succession anyway.

[Reece]

It's way more than double. 5 ATK is enough to make bullets as strong as those fired by a real gun, despite the fact that bullets are way weaker than punches, due to their extra range and speed... so the normal punch of a 5 ATK character is much more deadly than a gunshot wound IRL.

Back on topic, though:
I could have sworn the cooldown was originally supposed to be for any moves, not just this one... maybe I changed that...

Anyway, how's this?:

Chaos Breaker (300)
(Physical Strength)
Unicron punches forward with enough speed and force that the impact creates an explosive shockwave. When punching an object, such as the ground, or a wall, cracks will first radiate from his punch, and then explode outwards, destroying about everything within five feet of the impact point, most intensely directly in front of his fist, and the force dissipating as it gets further away. When simply punching liquid, there will be a huge dip in the water at the point of impact, and two seconds later the water will rush back with explosive force to refill the hole. When punching air, the shockwave takes the form of a massive rush of air-pressure, blowing away anything that weighs less than two hundred pounds for five feet around his fist. The air-pressure wave takes on the general form of an egg-shape, extending five feet from his fist, with the narrowest point coming from his fist and getting wider as the shockwave continues.

The actual destructive effect is several times more powerful than an ordinary punch of someone with his ATK.

Pulling his fist back takes about a second, during which time he charges up his energy rapidly (causing purple electricity to begin crackling across his body), before throwing the punch. The shockwave produced by this punch travels at the speed of sound. He can strike with either arm or both arms simultaneously, however using a Chaos Breaker punch leaves a strain on each arm used, so he should rest them for about a minute before he attempts to use the arm again, as failing to do so will damage those muscles. Using this move just once is severely taxing, but doing it multiple times in a row (ignoring the rest period) would be utterly exhausting; to such an extent that after a mere five uses in quick succession, he would be left unable to continue fighting and would have to rest for an hour to recover.

In order to use the move properly he must concentrate briefly and be standing still. If he's attempting a Chaos Breaker, but he is distracted or moved suddenly, he will simply do a regular punch, having lost concentration. In addition, he is unable to use any other Moves alongside this one, due to the focus necessary.

[Dane Regan]

as failing to do so will damage those muscles. Using this move just once is severely taxing, but doing it multiple times in a row (ignoring the rest period) would be utterly exhausting; to such an extent that after a mere five uses in quick succession

The underlined and bolded part should mention how much it damages his arms as well, since obviously, it can't be damaging his muscles so much if he's able to use it five times quickly and suffer no more than fatigue.

[Dane Regan]

so the normal punch of a 5 ATK character is much more deadly than a gunshot wound IRL.

No. Because gunshot wounds are piercing. Punches are more like a slam. It'd break bones, but it would be unlikely to kill you. Whereas a bullet would just need a lucky shot.

More damaging? Probably, depends a bit on the gun though. More deadly? Not really.

Anyway, dude. Don't focus so much on the numbers. They're rough guidelines for the roleplaying. 5 ATK = hitting very hard, 3 ATK = still hitting fairly hard, 1 ATK = hitting normally. Etc.

[Cell]

Multi-Form (Tier 1 Super Utility) - Cell takes five seconds to generate three clones of himself. They are identical to him in looks and also share his stats, moves and powers. These clones all work together to attack a target, giving Cell a temporary advantage of numbers without sacrificing strength. The clones last for thirty seconds.

Taken from Q22 here: http://omniverse-rpg.com/omnifaq.php#General_FAQ

Just wanting to check if there's anything I may have missed.

[Dane Regan]

Multi-Form (Tier 1 Super Utility) - Cell takes five seconds to generate three clones of himself. They are identical to him in looks and also share his stats, moves and powers. These clones all work together to attack a target, giving Cell a temporary advantage of numbers without sacrificing strength. The clones last for thirty seconds.

Taken from Q22 here: http://omniverse-rpg.com/omnifaq.php#General_FAQ

Just wanting to check if there's anything I may have missed.

EDIT: I'm stupid, ignore what I said a few minutes ago. This is possible, I think it'll just need additional caveats. 3 full strength clones for 30 seconds with a T1 is too strong. If they were weaker, sure! Or maybe allowing someone to use a super defence to protect themselves from the clones would also work, since this is sorta similar to firing out attacks 4 times as fast.

[Cell]

Coolio. I'll add that it can be blocked by a SD and I should be good. Don't really want to weaken them as it's the whole thing.

[James Knight]

Great Sword Glitch (300,  Physical Strength, Area Attack, Area Defense): 

A relic that was given to Warren when he left the Sulaco by Chun Li. While this may share many of the properties of a Lightsaber, this is not in all actuality one because it does not possess the powers a Lightsaber would when used by someone who has the Force. This sword may be able to clash with some blades, but against a truly skilled warrior this would be useless. Has a 60 inch blade, and a heavy handle. The blade is colored purple and is made out of energy like the others. While the strikes of the blade, and swings of it may be slower than Warren would like, they are also more powerful. This requires both of his hands and thus cannot be used with other moves. It is more exhausting than a lighterweight sword would be. 

[Handsome Jack]

Most of that is just flavour, but here's my criticisms.

30 inches isn't a great sword by any stretch. Make it 60 inches long, bruh.

You got a big ol' sword, let's hear about how it differs from your other sword mechanically speaking. Does it swing slower, but deal more damage?

Can you use it to block attacks too? Or is it all offence and no defence?

[James Knight]

How does it look now?

[Handsome Jack]

Better. Does it tire Warren more than a lighter blade would? Does he need both hands to swing, or even just hold it?

[Captain Marvelous]

Alright, I've been thinking over how best to represent Marvelous' Gokai Changes. The core concept is being able to turn in to members of the 34 previous Sentai teams, from the old and silly, the magical to the high tech, to the new and stranger teams. The idea is that turning into these other forms don't necessarily make GokaiRed stronger, but rather let him change up his style and access a different set of weapons, moves and powers. I also like the idea of them breaking when he takes a major hit, both to blunt the blow and to emulate how that usually happens in Sentai shows.

So my idea was to buy a bunch of different Gokai Change Moves. They don't boost my stats enough for a higher level form. But should I get 34+ individual moves as I unlock the Ranger Keys or should I buy a single move with the pertinent universal defensive use and keep adding variations for each team I unlock? Some changes will use powers like Flight or Burst Speed, some will give me new moves or super moves, some may even have their own powered up form. Would it be easier book keeping wise to just keep improving one move or to buy many of them and customize each one?

Sometimes the benefit is increased skill in a fighting style not my normal, like samurai sword or kung fu. Can I model the flexibility and surprise of changing styles as just moves if they don't actually make me any better off a fighter all around, just different?

Do I need shapeshifting if all 34+ of my Gokai Changes just turn me into a slightly different helmeted red spandex clad warrior with a sword and a gun?

I'm thinking the next few I'd like and their benefits would be;

-Shinkenger, a really really big sword, skill in samurai sword style, "Mojikara" word magic lets me write the kanji for things to create them

-Kakuranger, gives increased stealth, a flaming sword and the ability to split into 5 shadow clones.

-Jetman, the ability to fly and an improved punching gauntlet

-Zyuranger, nothing special, just nostalgia

-Magiranger, shoot fire as a move, other magic abilities on my cell phone wand, like shapeshifting and more fireballs

-Timeranger, ability to slow time and Matrix dodge

-Dairanger or Gekiranger for increased kung fu and ki-fireballs

Here is a video to get the basic idea if you're not familiar 

[Handsome Jack]

Slight differences in appearance (read: clothing) won't need Shapeshifting.

As for those benefits, you'll need to purchase Proficiencies, Powers, and Moves to handle those. You might want to get some Alternate Forms for Gokaigers that rely on different Stats. And you'll just fluff out only being able to use some things in certain forms

[Trixie]

I'd also suggest looking at Sinestro's roster for some ideas. He purchased a move for every aspect of his characters Ring of Power.

[Lucas Kellan]

LSR44 Spoor- (Requires Physical and Ranged (600 OM)


The LSR44 provides a unique hybrid of carbine and sniper rifle. It's firing mechanism uses an electronic, rail-based technology. The design features open rails to vent built-up plasma to prevent damage to the firing system due to heat. In the campaign, the default firing mode on the LSR44 is fully-automatic.

The alternate fire extends the gun to a shape that resembles a rail gun, and flips up an ACOG sight in place of the default Dot Laser. This firing mode has to be charged, and once fully charged it unleashes a devastating blast. A single shot in 'Sniper Mode' will drain half of the LSR44's twenty-four round magazine. The LSR44 can transform from a formidable close-quarters machine-gun into a powerful sniper-rifle in a matter of seconds.

The LSR44 is a very strong weapon, despite having no other attachments.

[Handsome Jack]

What does the Spoor need Physical Strength for?

Plenty of fluff here, not a lot of mechanics.

How quickly does "fully automatic" fire?

Give some rough approximations of effective and max ranges on each move.

Gives some rough approximations of damage in each mode.

How long does it take to reload the Spoor, and does Lucas only have a limited number of magazines for it?