Move Creation Workshop

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

Going over the last two quickly:

Gummy Bears! [600]
T1: Super Attack
Requires: Ranged, Debuff, Twin Pistols
Flint inputs Gummy Bears into both Pistols commands and fires upon a single target up to twenty meters away. These gummy bears stick to their person but do nothing at first. For safety, Flint runs away! Steve comes out of the woodworks to get at those delicious gummy bears! For five seconds, that crazy monkey is clawing and biting and screaming "GUMMYBEARS!" at the target, clambering all over them as a major distraction, lowering their Technique slightly and dealing moderate damage.

I think it's good, but remember the general stance on super moves is: Debuff or damage. Pick one. A super move can't do both. But, since the Technique decrease is minor and only for the attack duration, I think you'll be fine here. 

Mutation Overdrive: [1000]
T1 Power Up
This is not a switch he flips often, but when he does, Flint's weaponry suck in a LOT more Omnilium and plan to pack a big punch. A FRUIT punch, that is!
ATK: 2
DEF: 0
SPD: 1
TEC: 2

Is there no cosmetic change then? Just more stats? If so, you're good. You might wanna put a '+' before the stats, but that's just me. As a general rule, don't bother shoving powerups to the workshop.

---

I'll look at the rest later, but next time stagger it a bit dude. There's no official rule, but I ain't gonna tackle a big wall of moves at once. Anyway, you're a big boy now, and none of those moves look like they're complicated or anything - just expensive due to fire modes. So you can probably go through the checklist yourself and shove them in approval (one at a time) without going through me. Also, add the requirements to twin pistols and pump action.

[Marisa Kirisame]

I'm changing Comet "blazing star" to a T2 and holding off on it.


Thief (300) (requires burst movement, debuff, physical strength, mimic)

Marisa steals things by using burst movement to physically yank it from where ever it is at on the person (most of the times it will be in the opponents hands). It takes a max of 5 seconds to get ready to steal something (though she can move around but it takes most of her concentration to prepare). Once she has charged up she must after go through with the burglary. She may take one item of her choice for 1 minute if she succeeds in stealing something. Once the minute has passed the item will teleport back to the person she stole it from. This is extremely heavy in concentration, (not to the point she can’t move around) and about medium in energy useage (akin to doing somewhat hard labor for half a hour).

Berlin (300) (requires ranged, flight, remote control, homing)


Marisa takes a page from Alice and attacks a single opponent with a gunpowder filled doll (it is in her apron and it takes 5 seconds to pull it out). She can only have one on her person at a time. The doll is very quick (about 30 mph) but can’t defend (and its durability is akin to some fairly good iron bar) and has one function. Latch onto a opponent before exploding five seconds later. The max distance it can walk/run/fly is about 35 feet before it explodes promptly. Marisa has to keep concentration on it at all time, and she has to move somewhat slower (down to 25 mph) she won’t be very winded from it due to not physically exerting herself. The damage dealt is explosion and burn damage with the explosion size being five feet wide.



This should fix both Thief's problems of being convoluted and Berlin's problem's of having a small distance and being slow

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

@Marisa:
Thief:
It reads a lot better. But I'm not sure about stealing an item from someone. Preventing someone from using moves is strong. So, on that note, I'd reject it as it stands. Needed concentration, and it being tiring, to keep someone else's sword isn't good enough in my opinion. Especially since some people only have one melee weapon.

So, in my opinion, you need the following additions:
>A clarification she can only steal move "items". Not artefacts or consumables.
>A statement that someone can resummon their weapon if they were normally able to do so (Marisa keeps her copy).
>A comment that someone can redraw their weapon by focusing for 5 seconds (or something similar), even if they wouldn't normally be able to.

And, if you do that, I'd let you remove the constant stamina drain for holding someone else's weapon.

If you disagree, you can try putting it in approval as it is, but personally, I'd reject it.

Berlin:
>Can she use other moves while pulling out the doll, or does it require her total concentration?
>30mph isn't really that fast. 3 SPD is all someone needs to run from that.
>Don't use numbers for Marisa's speed reduction, say "half speed" or "two-thirds speed" or something like that.

[13-Jzall]

Warp storm (2400 OM)

The emperor calls on the power of the warp and summons a localised warp storm onto the battlefield, mutating bodies and minds.

Warp storm is a giant purple storm that covers the entire battlefield, extending or retracting as needs be to fit in all prime combatants. It can either give all allies +2 to ATK/DEF/TEC/SPD and +1 to enemies in the same category OR it can give everyone in the area a -1 to a certain stat. The emperor can have two of these active in any one round and can't take them back until it ends. The downsides are that it will affect everyone in the area, including enemies.

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

@13: Range? Does it require concentration to maintain?

As it stands, I'll say no. The first part is basically a free stat increase for allies. You might get away with the second part though.

[Takanomiya Hijiri]

Warp storm (2400 OM)

Where did you get the 2400 OM number from? It seems completely arbitrary.

[13-Jzall]

300 for each stat type twice

[Takanomiya Hijiri]

I don't think you'd need to pay that much, but okay, I can see your reasoning.

Since you've stated that he can't end it voluntarily it doesn't seem like maintaining it would require focus, however you should mention how tiring it is to use and how long it must be charged-up for (something as powerful as this will definitely require a charge-up), as well as what actions he can take whilst charging it (can he make other attacks? can he run? must he stay perfectly still?).

Also, like Ebony says, it'll need a proper maximum range; "the entire battlefield" isn't going to be specific enough to get approved.

[13-Jzall]

The emperor calls on the power of the warp and summons a localised warp storm onto the battlefield, mutating bodies and minds.

Warp storm is a giant purple storm that covers the entire battlefield, extending or retracting as needs be to fit in all prime combatants altough it has a maximum range of about 100 metres. After a 10 second charge up time, a purple wind will extend from the emperor's ribcage, extending to the maximum size. It can either give all allies +2 to ATK/DEF/TEC/SPD and +1 to enemies in the same category OR it can give everyone in the area a -1 to a certain stat. The emperor can have two of these active in any one round and can't take them back until it ends. The downsides are that it will affect everyone in the area, including enemies. It will also cause a medium amount of fatigue to the emperor. If an enemy or ally is 100 metres away from the emperor everyone in it, including the emperor, will be slightly obscured from sight.

Having the option of altering 4 different stats would cost me 1200, if I can also remove from 4 different stats it'll me cost another 1200.


I think I fixed some of the issues

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

Some comments:
1) You can't buff yourself, so 13 probably won't benefit from the +1 or +2 bonuses. But will get the -1 to his stat (and if he doesn't, you'll need to add a bigger drawback).

The emperor can have two of these active in any one round and can't take them back until it ends

2) I don't think you should have more than 1 active per round. Since combined you can basically give all allies +1 ATK. (By negating the bonus of the enemies)
3) I don't think think this will get approved, but at this point it's better to send it to move approval to see what they say. Personally, I think this needs some major drawbacks.

[Jade Harley]

Hey Jzall! I think you could just fashion this as a Super Utility and pay much less OM for it. Example from the Move Rules:

Bloodlust – Tier 1 Super Utility – 600 OM (requires Buff Proficiency, Ranged)
Rehgar digs deep before infusing his allies with a berserker strength, granting any friendly characters within 10 metres a buff. The stat boost of ATK+3, SPD+1 is spread between the number of allies.
Omni's Note: Super Moves that give your allies stats may grant up to 4 stats per 1 SP (ie, it depends upon the tier of the move) per post. Alternately, you can increase the duration, by reducing the number of stats granted accordingly. For example, you could make it last a whole round, like a transformation, but you'd have to halve the stats granted (in this case, to +2). Stat are always spread between the number of targets.

[13-Jzall]

The emperor calls on the power of the warp and summons a localised warp storm onto the battlefield, mutating bodies and minds.

Warp storm is a giant purple storm that covers the entire battlefield, extending or retracting as needs be to fit in all prime combatants altough it has a maximum range of about 100 metres. After a 10 second charge up time, a purple wind will extend from the emperor's ribcage, extending to the maximum size. It can either give all allies +2 to ATK/DEF/TEC/SPD and +1 to enemies in the same category OR it can give everyone in the area a -1 to a certain stat. The emperor can have two of these active in any one round and can't take them back until it ends. The downsides are that it will affect everyone in the area, including enemies. It will also cause a medium amount of fatigue to the emperor. If an enemy or ally is 100 metres away from the emperor everyone in it, including the emperor, will be slightly obscured from sight. The emperor will only be affected by the -1 storms and he can't use two of the same type to give all allies +1 to a stat and enemies nothing.


@Jade
I could but the emperor is mainly going to be buff/debuff based and relying on SP to get out all of your buffs isn't reliable.

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

@13: Needs more drawbacks. Super moves give +/-4 stats per SP per post (and half that per round). Assuming 1 ally and 2 enemies, this is stronger than that.

So, get a super utility. Or make this very deliberating with actual drawbacks. Otherwise, it will just get rejected. Stick with simple non-stat related buffs and debuffs if you want this kinda of area and impact. But even then, you'll need drawbacks.

[Schwi Dola]

http://omniverse-rpg.com/showthread.php?...9#pid46779

Stealing precedent, that can steal multiple weapon, from an enemy that doesn't even take Mimic to perform.

[Marisa Kirisame]

Thief (300) (requires burst movement, debuff, physical strength, mimic)

Marisa steals things by using burst movement to physically yank it from where ever it is at on the person (most of the times it will be in the opponents hands). It takes a max of 5 seconds to get ready to steal a item  (though she can move around but it takes most of her concentration to prepare). Once she has charged up she must after go through with the burglary. She may take one item of her choice (not a consumable or a artifact) for 1 minute if she succeeds in stealing something. Once the minute has passed the item will teleport back to the person she stole it from. The person may resummon the stolen item if it is something they normally can do; and anyone else may redraw there weapon after doing half concentration for 5 seconds. They may also try to grapple the item away from her. This is extremely heavy in concentration, (not to the point she can’t move around) and about medium in energy useage (akin to doing somewhat hard labor for half a hour).

Changes in bold

Berlin (300) (requires ranged, flight, remote control, homing)


Marisa takes a page from Alice and attacks a single opponent with a gunpowder filled doll (it is in her apron and it takes 5 seconds to pull it out). She can only have one on her person at a time. The doll is very quick (about 40 mph) but can’t defend (and its durability is akin to some fairly good iron bar) and has one function. Latch onto a opponent before exploding five seconds later. The max distance it can walk/run/fly is about 35 feet before it explodes promptly. Marisa has to keep concentration on it at all time, and she has to move somewhat slower (down to half of her current spd stat) she won’t be very winded from it due to not physically exerting herself. The damage dealt is explosion and burn damage with the explosion size being five feet wide.

this will fix berlin as a move I am fairly certain

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

@Marisa: Berlin looks good.

As for Thief:
>What does "half concentration" mean?

This is extremely heavy in concentration, (not to the point she can’t move around) and about medium in energy useage (akin to doing somewhat hard labor for half a hour).

>Does this refer to grappling the item, or continued use of this move? For grappling an item from her, it seems unreasonable. Really, it should be harder/easier depending on their ATK verses yours. For continued use, that's fine, but I don't think you really need concentration to keep something you stole once you've taken it.
>Add something about how using a super move linked to the item will make it return to the owner instantly.

[Schwi Dola]

I would like to point out that you are putting so many drawbacks to this steal move that it doesn't seem to be worth it to have. Letting your enemy somehow get their weapon back after 5 seconds (for half cost) as a function of your own move.. so if they want their weapon back for your large effort  they just need to think about having it back for 5 seconds.

5 seconds, almost no time at all, and they don't need much effort to use this counter-play but you needed a large effort to do it. Where do you profit from this move?

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

@Desco: From Demetri's move "Once fully used, they shatter and reform in the hands of whoever the item was taken from, however the owner may choose to summon the item again beforehand."

A mod could say otherwise, but I don't think a weapon move and all the moves that use it should be left locked with the owner being unable to do anything about it. Marisa has 4 SPD and Super Speed. Trying to grapple it back is not enough.

But, yes, I agree that Marisa doesn't need to put as much effort into this move as it stands.

[Schwi Dola]

Some moves already have that built into it, stealing the weapon wouldn't change that unless that is explicitly part of the debuff. As the move is, Desco could summon her sword, Marisa steals it, and she can just summon it again. The summoning is a part of Desco's move specifically, and the steal move specifcally allows for that.

The counter-play built in helps those whose weapons are not summoned, allows those who can't normally summon weapons to get it back.

Because of this disadvantage the move doesn't really give much advantage to Marsia especially for the large effort she spends to do it. Which is okay, moves don't need to necessarily be all that great to be fun to use.

Remember that it doesn't automatically succeed. Like any other debuff this is a TEC check. Those with higher TEC would be difficult to steal from.

All in all, a 5 second stun would be miles more useful than this move for the same stamina cost.

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

@Desco, yes, but some moves can't be resummoned. A lot of people have guns and swords that they'd need to spend the full 5 minutes to remake with Omnilium. Adding that clause stops the move from basically targetting those people.

Without that, it could essentially cripple some fighters for a full minute. Which is way too strong. And, anyway, 5 seconds to summon a weapon is a fair time. Marissa could easily set up and attack if they chose to do that. And given the effort and concentration to resummon the weapon is higher than the effort and concentration Marissa puts in to steal something, it's still a good trade off.