Move Creation Workshop

[13-Jzall]

Seems fine but you should probably wait until Ebony looks at your move since this is her realm.

[PepsiYuuka]

How about this? 

Strike of Doom (600):  Physical Proficiency 

Over the years of fighting the Fantastic Four and other various heroes, Doom has acquired superb skills in hand to hand combat. In accord to Doom's fighting skills, When forced to attack his target from close range, it only takes a second to Punch or grab his opponent or opponents. When Doom is readying himself for punching his enemies, his arms and hands are surrounded with green electricity. The punch does very mild damage to his targets. When Doom grabs ahold of his enemies he electrocutes them with the powerful electricity coursing through him which a heavy damage for a very short amount of time. Overusing this move, especially the grab, will tire Doom and force him to find cover and rest and charge his magic for at least 20 seconds.

No offense, but for such a move at physical contact range with no lasting debilitating effects, 20 seconds of uninterrupted rest seems like a huge drawback. Consider if your character in a fighting game had to wait for 20 whole seconds before doing something else after using what seems like a basic core ability a few times- when sometimes entire rounds can be decided in less than thirty. A simple statement of it draining him/his magical energy reserves much more for the heavier grab version as opposed to the lighter punch version should suffice, and if you must have the recharge, you should really consider shortening it.

Also, the first part of this move seems like total filler- IMO it should start directly at "When Doom is readying himself," or at least the first part should be changed to something more simple like "In physical combat, Doom uses his magic to enhance his punches and grabs." How long it takes to punch someone is determined by your speed, after all, so we shouldn't need to have it repeated in every move.

This is just what I noticed at a glance, so it's not the end all be all of move critiques, but it begs a mention.

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

Battle Card "Cannon"  - 300 OM (Ranged Proficiency, Area Attack Proficiency)

A cylindrical device that when fully assembled out of the card form it is normally in via nanotechnology will replace one of his arms. This takes him about ten seconds to charge up. This shoots a round 2 by 2 foot beam of energy out of it, that is colored a silvery-black out of it. The beam of energy is able to be re-aimed, before he fires the beam from it. The beam of energy is a move that requires that he focus on it, and thus he cannot use other moves. Even if he could, this move requires both of his hands, one arm to become the cannon, and one arm to stabilize, and aim the cannon.

The cannon looks like a cylinder that replaces one of his arms. When the cannon is inactive, and repairing itself after each shot, other moves can be used. The beam has a max range of 55 feet from him in any direction when he fires. The beam cannot be re-aimed. While the cannon is being fired, Matthew may move when it is in use, but he cannot execute any other moves, or techniques, while the cannon is in use.

The beam of energy looks like: 

The only difference is that the energy is black and silver. 

Upon the move finishing, or being interrupted by him taking any damage which will automatically cause the cannon to become a card, and fly back into his pocket, the cannon becomes a card once more, and flies back into his pocket. After the cannon is no longer in use, however Matthew is free to use any moves he wishes to use. It cannot be re-aimed, however.

How about this (main changes/additions are in bold, this should have all the required information, I added stuff based on things you said before that were missing from this iteration of the move, but go ahead and change what I said so it fits your ideas better if anything is off):
[spoiler]
Battle Card "Cannon"  - 300 OM (Ranged Proficiency, Area Attack Proficiency)

A cylindrical device that when fully assembled out of the card form it is normally in via nanotechnology will replace one of his arms. The cannon takes 10 seconds to charge and takes 2 seconds to summon. When fired, it shoots a silvery black beam of energy out of it, which has a diameter of 2 ft. The beam of energy is only able to be aimed before he fires it. The beam of energy is a move that requires that he focus on it, and thus he cannot use other moves while summoning, charging, or firing it, but he move and dodge. This move requires both of his hands to summon, charge, and fire, one arm to become the cannon, and one arm to stabilize, and aim the cannon.

The cannon looks like a cylinder that replaces one of his arms. When the cannon is inactive, either in his pocket as a card, or summoned but not yet being charged, other moves can be used. The beam has a max range of 55 feet from him in any direction when he fires. The beam of energy lasts for 2 seconds. Matthew is the battery for the cannon, so while not tiring to summon, charging and firing takes a good chunk of his stamina.

The beam of energy looks like: 

The only difference is that the energy is black and silver. 

Upon the move finishing, or being interrupted by him taking any damage or losing concentration, the cannon vanishes, becomes a card once more, and flies into his pocket. After the cannon is no longer in use, however Matthew is free to use any moves he wishes to use. It cannot be re-aimed, however.
[/spoiler]

Also, why do you think you need area attack proficiency for this?

Comment: being able to move but not aim is kinda strange. He's firing a strong cannon, realistically he'd have to stand still and brace. Also, since he can move (at full speed?), but not aim, it sorta implies his going to basically strafe while shooting, which sounds a bit weird. Personally, I think you should make him stand still for the shooting part.

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

@Doom:

When Doom is readying himself for punching his enemies, his arms and hands are surrounded with green electricity. The punch does very mild damage to his targets.

You can punch without getting a move for it. And since this punch seems to have no drawbacks (add a charge time or something, or make it clear overuse applies to the punches as well as the electrocution) it's not going to be any stronger than an normal punch.

When Doom grabs ahold of his enemies he electrocutes them with the powerful electricity coursing through him which a heavy damage for a very short amount of time.

How short of a time? 1 second, 2 seconds?

Also, how tiring is this?

Overusing this move

How much use is overuse? 10 punches? 3 grabs? 1000 punches? Do they have to be close together?

Be more specific, remove the fluff at the start, and add some charge times. You'll definitely want a different drawback.

[Oleander]

Arm of the Glass Sentinel
Requirements: Physical, Ranged, Remote Control, Area Shield
Cost: Moderate damage, Loss of arm, Charge up time 5 seconds in one hand, 30 second Universal Cooldown
Effective Range: Perfect up to 20m, Average up to 30m, poor up to 40m

1-Handed spell
One of the Glass Sentinel secret techniques, this spell partially turns Stein into a Glass Sentinel.

The greatest cost is the sacrifice of an arm, which is replaced by the arm of a Glass Sentinel. On top of the moderate damage this inflicts on Stein, the pain for thirty seconds after renders him incapable of using any other spell (Universal cooldown: 30 seconds.) It takes five seconds to charge up this spell, during the time the arm used to manifest this spell is being converted into glass, flesh crackling and chipping away. It shatters upon completion, leaving behind a pauldron on his shoulder, and a floating gauntlet connected by a translucent energy stream. If the energy stream is interrupted, the gauntlet falls to the ground. It will automatically reconnect, requiring three seconds for every ten meters it is away from Stein.

Reach (300) The gauntlet can then be used as if it were his normal hand with a range up to twenty meters, with no more focus than normal. After this range of perfect control, the difficulty increases and effective strength lowers till it ends roughly at 40 meters. If forced beyond this point, the gauntlet will automatically return to Stein unless outside elements render this action impossible.

Charge (300) It is possible to extend beyond the normal reach limits at greater strength, but doing so requires time to charge. Two seconds of charging adds ten meters to the effective "perfect" range, however this only allows the gauntlet to extend to this maximum range, preform a quick task (such as grab) and then retract. If the gauntlet grabs an object which cannot be moved, Stein is instead pulled towards the gauntlet.

The Arm of the Glass Sentinel is constantly repairing itself. If the gauntlet is shattered, it will reform after five seconds automatically. However, all other spells with a Manifest (charge) time have this time doubled while the Arm of the Glass Sentinel is active. Additionally, Augment spells can be applied to the Arm of the Glass Sentinel as normal, but only last a duration equal to double the Universal Cooldown they inflict.

The Arm of the Glass Sentinel is effectively a constantly maintained combination of the Hook Shield and the Comet Shield at a greater cost.

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

@Gunther:
So, basically, he destroys his own arm to use this move. Considering that'd be under:

Major Injury (7+ damage points): A major injury is something like a deep stab, a broken arm, a face wound, or any other extreme injury. 

You sure you want to use a third of your health just for this move (although it might not actually work out like that)? As far as I can tell, you basically get a +1 Mage Hand that can also be a shield and do your stuff at range. Especially since it seems easy to disable as all someone has to do is move something between it and you.

Assuming you do want to do remove a while arm, moving on to the main move:

>Can he move during the charge? Does charging it require any concentration?
>How long does this move last? Until the end of the fight (i.e. a reasonably long amount of time, like an hour or something)? Indefinitely?
>Since you're probably going to get advanced regen, what happens if his arm is regenerated after the move has been used?
>How fast can the gauntlet move?
>How hard is the gauntlet to break?

Two seconds of charging adds ten meters to the effective "perfect" range

>The way you phrased it implies, but doesn't outright state, that Stein could charge for 4 seconds and add 20m. Is this correct? If so, is there a max range?

Additionally, Augment spells can be applied to the Arm of the Glass Sentinel as normal, but only last a duration equal to double the Universal Cooldown they inflict.

>I'm probably being stupid, but the way you phrased it makes it sound like that's a bad thing. Aren't the cooldown times of your moves a completely different thing to the duration? Sometimes being longer, sometimes shorter.

[Oleander]

@Gunther:
So, basically, he destroys his own arm to use this move. Considering that'd be under:

Major Injury (7+ damage points): A major injury is something like a deep stab, a broken arm, a face wound, or any other extreme injury. 

You sure you want to use a third of your health just for this move (although it might not actually work out like that)? As far as I can tell, you basically get a +1 Mage Hand that can also be a shield and do your stuff at range. Especially since it seems easy to disable as all someone has to do is move something between it and you.

Assuming you do want to do remove a while arm, moving on to the main move:

>Can he move during the charge? Does charging it require any concentration?
>How long does this move last? Until the end of the fight (i.e. a reasonably long amount of time, like an hour or something)? Indefinitely?
>Since you're probably going to get advanced regen, what happens if his arm is regenerated after the move has been used?
>How fast can the gauntlet move?
>How hard is the gauntlet to break?

>He can preform combat maneuvering, yes, but due to pain and concentration it is not nearly as effective.
>This move lasts until he is capable of regenerating his arm. This is a definitely out-of-battle thing.
>The above statement answers this one. XD
>The Gauntlet is capable of moving at 20 meters per second (Slightly less than the world's fastest punch. XD)
>The gauntlet is a tough cookie, and has a LOT of downsides to be a very great shield - its primary role. It can take some major damage before shattering, and is constantly repairing itself when in close range (>1 meter) of Stein.

Two seconds of charging adds ten meters to the effective "perfect" range

>The way you phrased it implies, but doesn't outright state, that Stein could charge for 4 seconds and add 20m. Is this correct? If so, is there a max range?

>Yes, and I don't know what a good max range would be, since the use is so limited. It is basically punch or grab at full strength, but it retracts too fast to be all that dexterous in its task.

Additionally, Augment spells can be applied to the Arm of the Glass Sentinel as normal, but only last a duration equal to double the Universal Cooldown they inflict.

>I'm probably being stupid, but the way you phrased it makes it sound like that's a bad thing. Aren't the cooldown times of your moves a completely different thing to the duration? Sometimes being longer, sometimes shorter.

The way my spells are structured, Augments don't have a "charge up" time or a particularly heavy fatigue cost, they just inflict a universal cooldown, which means he cannot activate any new Moves until that cooldown is up. Normally, long-lived items would have an infinite duration (until shattered) but since this one is maintained, it only lasts for 2x the Manifest time, or 10 seconds. So a 5 second Unversal cooldown, 10 second effect. Spamable, if that's the only spell he wants to use.

It basically turns an infinite duration into a finite duration because "infinite" on an object that regenerates would create an infinite loop that could bite me in the ass later.

"Arm of Glass" + "Lightning Augment" = Wicked fast punchy thing that shocks the piss out of people... with no way to break it, considering it reconstructs itself if broken.

Though, could make it so it only appears on the Gauntlet, which can be broken?

[Jack Darby]

As to why I thought I needed Area Attack, that was not the original picture I wanted to use for the move, but the closest it could come without runes, or glyphs, or being DBZish.

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

@Matt: It's not about the picture, it's how you described the move. You're shooting a beam, not an explosion thing. Area attack is for splash damage, typically. If you want the beam to cause an explosion when it hits someone, that's fine, but add it to the move.

@Stein: It's easier to judge your changes or comments if you just edit them into the move (also, you should probably include a footnote explaining your cooldown based drawback). Although, you could just have it so the augments disappear when the gauntlet breaks.

100m is a good max range, it's unlikely you'll ever want to do anything further than that.

[Oleander]

Arm of Glass (Right) [600]
Requirements: Physical, Range, Area Shield, Remote Control
This is one of Stein's more powerful spells. By sacrificing his arm, he can gain a replacement; an Arm of Glass. To do this, he must first sacrifice his arm, which takes five seconds. During this time, his arm is converted to glass and painfully shattered piece by piece. He can still preform regular combat maneuvers with disadvantage due to pain. Another product of pain is that during this time he cannot use any other spells, even though his other hand is considered free. The spell does not end if he takes damage, unless it would outright kill him. Even after completion, the pain makes it impossible to cast another spell for another 20 seconds.

Stein suffers major damage, from the loss of his arm during the initial process. Upon complete shattering of his natural arm, the wound is sealed and covered by a smoked-glass pauldron. This pauldron emits an energy stream connecting it without solid structure to an accompanying gauntlet.

This gauntlet is an effective combination of various other types of shields; most noticeably the Hook and the Comet shields. The structure is quite large, with an overall length of two meters, most of that being the comet-like shield emitting from the back of the massive structure's hand. The energy beam connects to where the wrist should be.

There is no time limit to the Arm of Glass, however the gauntlet can be broken. If this happens, or if the gauntlet is lost, the pauldron will create a new gauntlet after five seconds. If damaged, but not destroyed and within two meters of Stein, the energy beam will slowly repair it if it is within two meters of Stein. It takes roughly five seconds from nearly destroyed to full strength.

The Arm of Glass has a combination of functions, its primary being a massive shield. This shield is what makes the gauntlet alone so useful, as it has an incredibly high durability that can take most damage with ease, short of a Super Attack. Its long-range and large size only add to the usefulness. Unlike the shields it combines, it can brace itself on the ground to absorb higher kinetic impact than normal.

Its secondary ability is that it is effectively a hand with a massive reach. Stein can maneuver it perfectly up to twenty meters, and up to thirty with poor dexterity and strength. If pushed beyond this range, the energy beam will become too weak and fail. The gauntlet then finger-walks back to Stein, if not restrained or otherwise incapable of movement. The gauntlet's peak movement speed is 20 meters per second (44 miles per hour, just under the world speed punch record.) Though Stein does not feel its weight, the gauntlet weighs in at roughly 50 kilograms, meaning that a punch from the gauntlet is both moderately damaging and likely to knock an opponent around.

While the Arm of Glass is a powerful tool of defense, and even offense, it limits the range of spells Stein can use. The arm cannot be used to manifest or maintain any spells. While it is being repaired, it is considered to be a "maintained" spell, as well as when it moves beyond the 20 meter "perfect" range.

In exchange for the lack of spells, the Gauntlet portion of the Arm of Glass can be augmented on command. This still yields the Augment's Universal Cooldown (5 seconds) and lasts until the Gauntlet is shattered, or until another Augment is applied.

The energy stream that connects the pauldron to the gauntlet is semi-solid. It can be "cut" in a sense, which disables the gauntlet for a brief amount of time before it automatically reconnects. It takes one second per ten meters for the energy stream to reengage. Stein can reconnect immediately if he is within five meters.

Stein can increase his effective range by charging up the energy stream. For each two seconds the arm charges, the range increases ten meters beyond Stein's "Perfect" range. (Perfect range is 20 meters, so 2 seconds for 30, 4 seconds for 40) His maximum achievable range is 100 meters at 16 seconds charge time. The energystream can remain extended for half of the charge up time before it automatically retracts. If an object grabbed is too heavy to move, the energy beam will instead pull Stein towards the gauntlet, much like a grappling hook.

The sacrificed arm does not begin to regenerate until the Arm of Glass is willingly discarded. During this time, the arm heals normally. (Requires Advanced Regeneration) This means that once this spell is used, it is there to stay for a while. Even if he has time to recover, he is considered to 4 unrecoverable damage.

Simplified Mechanics:
Downsides:
- 20 seconds Universal Cooldown (all moves + lower combat maneuverability)
- 5 second charge up (No other spells, lowered combat maneuverability)
- ~7 pts damage
- Loss of original limb
- New arm cannot use 2H spells.
- Energy Stream can be disrupted, takes time or proximity to reconnect.
- Can be captured.

Benefits:
- New arm does not yield damage/repairs itself if within 2 meters.
- Can be reconstructed in 5 second charge up.
- Can be Augmented after completion, lasts until gauntlet breaks.
- Can extend its range via charge up (+300 OM)
- BIG, powerful shield
- Moderage damage output (with knockback for average weight foes.)

[Cell]

Death Saucer (300) (Requires Ranged, Remote Control Prof) - Koola lifts an open palm upward and creates a spinning disc of magenta energy with a deep red core, taking about two seconds where he must remain still (though it can be summoned while falling). The edge of the disc is sharp and will cut through almost anything (depending on Koola's ATK stat to his target's durability/DEF stat for a Prime). Koola throws the disc, where it travels at the speed of an arrow and moves in a straight line. After loosing it, Koola can redirect the disc's path with a curt hand gesture if he so chooses (eg. flinging his hand left to right across his chest to make it turn right). Koola must maintain eye contact with the Death Saucer in order to redirect it, and his control over it vanishes after a hundred and fifty metres. The Death Saucer will continue on until it collides with an object of sufficient mass to stop it (eg. the ground). Koola can summon four of these in a five minute period without tiring.

Imprisonment Ball (300) (Requires Area Attack, Telekinesis) - Koola throws out an open hand and fires a two-metre ring of orange energy at the speed of an arrow after a charge of three seconds. The ring dissipates after five metres so Koola has to be close. When the ring makes contact, it encircles the target in an orange orb of energy and completely immobilises them. Koola must continue channelling his energy to maintain the prison, and can hold it for as long as twenty seconds before he loses his grip. As long as Koola doesn't allow twenty seconds to pass, he can drop his focus and attack the orb, sending it flying in the direction of his hit and causing it to explode with the first surface that isn't Koola. He has a window of two seconds to hit the orb after he stops channelling, otherwise the orb will dissipate. Koola must remain still while charging, firing and channelling and taking damage during any phase will disrupt the attack. Due to the technique's drawbacks, outside of channelling the orb, Koola does not get very fatigued from multiple uses; however holding a target for its full duration three times in succession (up to a minute) will tire him.

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

(I'll look through yours later today Stein)

---

@Koola:

Death Saucer:
>How big is the disk
>Does summoning it require his concentration? So can he use other moves at the same time?
>Will damage disrupt this?
>Does controlling it require him to concentrate on it, or does he just have to look at it?
>Can he use other moves while controlling it, what about while letting it travel in a straight line?
>How quickly can the disk turn? (A rough turning radius is good enough)

Imprisonment Ball:

>This doesn't need area attack. Area attack is generally for splash damage. Since this is just you immobilising one person.
>While immobilised, does it restrict abilities of the opponent that don't require them to move? Maybe someone can shoot lasers from their eyes and happened to be looking at you, or maybe someone can summon rocks above enemies, would this stop them doing that? Or does it only restrict them physically?
>Twenty seconds is a while. I'd add a way for opponent to break out earlier if their ATK is higher than yours and they struggle.
>How fast and far does the orb travel once hit?

[Jack Darby]

Green Arrow's Bow and Arrows (Ranged Proficiency, 300 OM)

A replica of the signature weapon of the hero "Green Arrow" from his home-world. This is a bow that appears to be made out of a green wood that has been polished and properly maintained. This takes both hands to use, and so cannot be used with other moves. Each arrow has a range of 65 feet from the bow when fired. The bow and arrow is moderately draining on his stamina to use. It takes him about 5 seconds, before he can materialize the bow and arrow for his own personal use, against his opponents. Each traditional arrow does moderate damage. He carries about twenty arrows, and it takes him about ten seconds to make more of them, before he can use the bow and arrow again, when he runs out.

Explosive Arrow (Area Attack, Ranged, 300 OM, Green Arrow's Bow and Arrows)

One of the trick arrows that was once wielded by Green Arrow, but was recreated by Matthew for his own personal use. This arrow will when shot into the midst of a crowd explode. The closer to the center of the explosion, the more powerful it is. The farther reaches of the explosion which is about 10 feet in diameter would be weaker, and likely receive less damage. Typically this does high damage on anyone who manages to be caught by it. The outer reaches would only receive moderate damage, if they received any at all from the move. This takes him about 4 seconds to execute, and has a 10 second cool down, during which he cannot use Green Arrow's Bow and Arrows again.

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

@Stein:
>You're missing the cost at the top.
>Honestly, I think it's better someone higher up looks at it at this point. I don't have anything else to comment on your move, and I don't think you missed anything.
>That said, if you can see a way to shorten the description and make it more concise, that'd be great. Or maybe ask someone else to look through it and see if they understand it. Then, once you're happy with it, send it off to move approval.

---

@Matt:
Are you still working on those other moves? Try and get those polished before you add anything else next time.

Green Arrow's Bow and Arrows:
>Do the arrows travel at the speed of a normal arrow?
>How long does it take to draw, aim, and fire the bow?
>Can Matt move while drawing, aiming, and firing? If so, does he still move at top speed?
>Can Matt move while summoning the bow? What about when summoning the arrows?
>Does summoning the bow generate the arrows, or does Matt carry the arrows with him at all times (if the bow generated them, then summoning a bow with arrows is quicker than summoning arrows - so couldn't he just summon a new bow?).
>Does summoning the bow/arrows require complete concentration? Will it be interrupted if he takes damage?

Explosive Arrow:
>Add somewhere in the move that the explosive arrow has the same range and speed as his normal arrows, and is fired in the same way (unless there's a key difference).

This arrow will when shot into the midst of a crowd explode.

>I'm being pedantic here, but that implies the arrow wouldn't explode if it was shot at a wall. Just say it explodes when it hits something, or after travelling a set distance (which he decides as he fires it).

This takes him about 4 seconds to execute

>Explain. Is that 4 seconds to create the fancy explosive arrow? 4 seconds to charge a shot? 

and has a 10 second cool down

>Explain: Why is there a cooldown on the main bow? Also, that's not a drawback. You have other ranged weapons, so adding that is meaningless.
>High damage is too much for an attack that only takes 4 seconds to charge. Unless it's really tiring. And even then, it affects an area, so it'll still be medium damage at best. I would suggest restricting this so it only has a few uses, but since you tend to pick up lots of moves, I don't think that'd be much of a drawback in your case.
>How tiring is this move?
>Does it require concentration? Will it be interrupted if Matt takes damage?
>Can Matt move while using this?
>Advice: Once your main bow move is finished, just state in this move that firing the arrow is exactly the same as usual, except he has to charge the shot for 4 seconds (or spend 4 seconds making a fancy explosive arrow), and that it explodes. Perhaps even add it as a variant of the main bow move.

[Jack Darby]

Green Arrow's Bow and Arrows (Ranged Proficiency, 300 OM)

A replica of the signature weapon of the hero "Green Arrow" from his home-world. This is a bow that appears to be made out of a green wood that has been polished and properly maintained. This takes both hands to use, and so cannot be used with other moves. Each arrow has a range of 65 feet from the bow when fired. The bow and arrow is moderately draining on his stamina to use. It takes him about 5 seconds, before he can materialize the bow and arrow for his own personal use, against his opponents. Each traditional arrow does moderate damage. He carries about twenty arrows, and it takes him about ten seconds to make more of them, before he can use the bow and arrow again, when he runs out. 

The arrows travel at the speed of normal arrows. Matthew can move while drawing, aiming, and firing the arrows. His speed is reduced by about 25%, IE he'd be going about 75% of his top speed, when doing that.  It takes him about three seconds to draw, aim, and fire the bow and arrow. Summoning the bow is what causes the quiver full of arrows to appear on his back. However, this requires his entire concentration, so if he takes any damage whatsoever the process would be interrupted, and he'd have to start anew. 

Explosive Arrow (Area Attack, Ranged, 300 OM, Green Arrow's Bow and Arrows)

One of the trick arrows that was once wielded by Green Arrow, but was recreated by Matthew for his own personal use. This arrow was based off of a multitude of varieties of explosives by Matthew,  but has been limited so that it is strictly non-lethal, although it could cause a fair amount of damage to anyone who is hit by it. It takes him about 4 seconds to charge the arrow, so that the explosive will be primed, and explode when it hits the target it is fired at. This can only be used about five times, before it becomes too taxing on his stamina to use. 

This arrow has a range of 45 feet, unlike the regular arrows, because the explosive component weighs more than the regular arrows do. 

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

I'll look at the full thing later. But one quick comment:

but has been limited so that it is strictly non-lethal, although it could cause a fair amount of damage to anyone who is hit by it.

Explain. How can it be non-letal, but still cause a fair amount of damage? They're explosives, so that's going to need an explanation. Don't edit it into your move yet (we can sort that out later), I just want to know what you meant. Unless it was just a fluff comment.

(Ebony's Soul Strike is an example of something I consider non-letal. As is the "dark" element of Meta Magic: Elemental Blast - that's currently only on the Wiki-Page though, I'll buy it later but it is approved)

[Jack Darby]

Basically, since I'm trying to avoid Matthew killing... that was a bit of fluff. Essentially, it would probably damage them so they couldn't fight, but not enough to kill them.

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

@Matt:

Green Arrow's Bow and Arrows:

Summoning the bow is what causes the quiver full of arrows to appear on his back.

>Is there anything stopping Matt from just summoning the bow again? Since it takes less time than summoning the arrows, and has arrows with it.

Explosive Arrow:
>You'll want a foddery explanation for why it's non-lethal, or just remove that part of the move. If an explosion blows up in someone's face, there needs to be some reasoning why it wouldn't kill them. You could just remove mentioning of "non-lethal" and just leave people wounded. Or you could describe the explosion as feeling like a strong punch, so it doesn't burn or main, but does hurt people.
>Add a line saying that firing an explosive arrow (after it has been charged) is the same as shooting a normal one.
>Can Matt move while priming the explosives, and does it require concentration?

[Jack Darby]

Green Arrow's Bow and Arrows (Ranged Proficiency, 600 OM)

A replica of the signature weapon of the hero "Green Arrow" from his home-world. This is a bow that appears to be made out of a green wood that has been polished and properly maintained. This takes both hands to use, and so cannot be used with other moves. Each arrow has a range of 65 feet from the bow when fired. The bow and arrow is moderately draining on his stamina to use. It takes him about 5 seconds, before he can materialize the bow and arrow for his own personal use, against his opponents. Each traditional arrow does moderate damage. He carries about twenty arrows, and it takes him about ten seconds to make more of them, before he can use the bow and arrow again, when he runs out. 

The arrows travel at the speed of normal arrows. Matthew can move while drawing, aiming, and firing the arrows. His speed is reduced by about 25%, IE he'd be going about 75% of his top speed, when doing that.  It takes him about three seconds to draw, aim, and fire the bow and arrow. Summoning the bow is what causes the quiver full of arrows to appear on his back. However, this requires his entire concentration, so if he takes any damage whatsoever the process would be interrupted, and he'd have to start anew. Unfortunately,  the bow and arrows can only be summoned once as a unit. What this means is that if the bow were broken, he'd have to make a new one, and if he ran out of arrows, he'd have to take the time to make a new quiver full of them. 

This also comes with a trick arrow, an explosive arrow that Matthew has recreated. 

One of the trick arrows that was once wielded by Green Arrow, but was recreated by Matthew for his own personal use. This arrow was based off of a multitude of varieties of explosives by Matthew. This takes him about four seconds to charge up and prime, before it can actually explode when it hits the target. This can be used while moving, and can be re-aimed. It cannot however, be used with other moves of any kind. Each of the explosions is as strong as a well placed punch due to safeguards Matthew used when creating the explosives. In short, it would deal a modest amount of damage. Firing a primed explosive arrow is exactly the same as shooting a normal one, barring the explosion (i.e. just as tiring, same range, same speed, etc.)

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

@Matt:
I think you're basically there. I've just got a few comments/nitpicks on the explosive one.

>Add the fatigue back in, or say that it's no more tiring than firing a normal arrow.

When an arrow is fired after being charged, it is the same as a normal one that would be fired with the Bow and Arrow.

>Change this to the quote below (or something similar), since that current sentence implies explosive arrows aren't different from normal ones. What it should (probably) be saying is that the process of shooting an explosive one is exactly the same:

Firing a primed explosive arrow is exactly the same as shooting a normal one, barring the explosion (i.e. just as tiring, same range, same speed, etc.)

Lastly, if I were you, I'd make the explosive arrow part of the main bow move and add it as a variant.