Move Creation Workshop

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

@Blink: It's almost definitely possible. If you want to make I last a while, I'd make it a super move. You'll need teleportation. And burst movement would probably combo well with it.

An non-super version would need some drawbacks though, as you are basically trapping someone while giving yourself an increased mobility. Either it's very fatiguing. Maybe it drops prematurely if you take damage. It's basically like being locked in a room with someone who can teleport to your blind spots at will.

@Aang:
>Cutting Words would need to be 600 OM for variable damage.
>You'll need homing for it (you didn't mention proficiencies in the move, not sure if you've got it).
>Considering he basic just talks to do the damage, you'd either need to specify the damage is stupidly low or directly say that the user has to focus on the insult so cannot use other moves during this time. Maybe have a period of 1 or 2 seconds where he has to think of the insult (and can't use moves) as well.
>Remember that ATK is still going to decide the majority of the damage, not TEC. So a high DEF and low TEC opponent would probably still take less damage than a high TEC and low DEF opponent.
>No drawback for use against high TEC opponents.

Will-o'-the-Wisp:
>Do you really need 500ft for the upper bound?
>It takes people too long to determine it's false. 5 seconds is a long time in combat.
>Make it a short charge and short-range distraction and you're golden. If you want a longer range thing, you'll need fatigue maybe.
>The shadow appears to thing and move by itself. That's impossible if it's not an assist. You need range control and to focus on the shadow to tell it to start climbing or swimming or to move out the way of a tree. But you'd also need to be able to see the tree or cliff or hill for yourself as well.

[Asriel Dreemurr]

Chaos Blaster (600, requires Ranged, Remote Control and Ranged Materialize)


A bazooka-like weapon that can alternate between shooting magic spheres and rainbow lasers. The magic bullets have 3-inch radii. Their rate of fire is 3 per second. The rainbow laser is a magical blast of energy that can severely injure anyone who gets hit by it. It takes a few seconds to fire a laser, then he has to switch to bullet mode until the laser charges up again, which takes around two minutes. When the gun is laser mode, Asriel can choose to fire out magic shuriken-like stars one time per minute. The weapon itself floats around according to Asriel’s thoughts. It can only be used during his God of Hyperdeath form. Only one can be out at a time.

The move can also hurt the soul, which will cause a feeling of intense pain throughout the body. If the opponent is soulless, they will still be hurt by the physical damage, although not as much as they would be if they had a soul.

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

(as usual, if I make a mistake when reading your move or say something incorrect in general, please tell me)
@Queen Glory:

Firstly, be clearer and more consice. Make a new paragraph for each variant.

Secondly:
>Bazooka type? Describe the "Bazooka". What does it look like?
>How long does it take to switch modes?
>How long is a few seconds? 3?
>How fast do the magic bullets go?
>What is the range of the magic bullets?
>What is the range of the laser?
>How fast does the laser go (instant, I'd assume, but specify)?
>Severely injure for 3 (?) seconds of charge time? No. Not enough. Even if you have to wait to minutes afterwards. Usually, Cooldowns are not considered drawbacks and generally they're mainly used to stop move spamming (e.g. with debuffs and such). Look at the drawback section of the move page in the rules for ideas.
>He can shoot out stars with laser mode as well? That's another fire type. So you'll have to increase the cost by 300 OM (to 900)
>How fast do the stars go?
>What is the range of the stars?
>If the weapon floats by itself, can he use other moves while it's active?
>How fast does the weapon move?
>How long does it take to summon the weapon?
>How far away can the weapon move from him?
>You currently can't start with that transformation, are you sure you want to start with this move?
>Moves specific to transformations don't have any advantage in strength as far as I'm aware (besides benefiting from the transformation stats). It's usually more of an rp thing. If you want a super mega attack, get a super move for it.
>What is a soul? How do you know if someone is soulless? This seems like a free short-term debuff to me with no drawbacks. I would advise against trying to add it as a mechanic. Instead add it as an rp suggestion at the bottom (e.g. "RP Note: Some targets with a soul may suffer a form of non-damaging pain. This is very short term and for roleplaying fodder only" but in your own words and with an IC explanation)
>Overall, be specific and actually describe your move fully. Also, add some drawbacks. If you want high damage you need drawbacks for it. Look at the move rules page for ideas, but things like a long charge time and it being tiring/draining are key examples. Although a charge time is much more of a drawback when you can't move and it's hard to defend while charging (as an example). Being vulnerable afterwards is also an option.

Thirdly, if you found this useful and wish to change the move, please reply with the new iteration of the move with changes in bold.

[Asriel Dreemurr]

Chaos Blaster (900, requires Ranged, Remote Control and Ranged Materialize)


A weapon that can alternate between shooting magic spheres and rainbow lasers. The magic bullets have 3-inch radii. Their rate of fire is 3 per second. The bullets go around the speed of a normal rifle bullet. The drawbacks are that the bullets are easily visible and do little damage.

The rainbow laser is a magical blast of energy that is 4 feet in diameter. It travels as fast as an arrow, and will stop once it hits something or Asriel stops firing or Asriel is too tired and can't perpetuate the beam any longer. The longer the beam is fired, the more tired Asriel gets. After a laser is fired, he has to switch to bullet mode until the laser charges up again, which takes around two minutes.

When the gun is laser mode, Asriel can choose to fire out magic shuriken-like stars one time per minute. They each travel around the speed of a baseball and the range is 10 feet.

The weapon itself can be summoned instantly. It hovers around according to Asriel’s thoughts and it moves around 50 mph.

The drawbacks of the weapon are listed here.

• He cannot use any other moves while it's active.

• It takes one minute to summon.

• Only one can be out at a time.

• It can't move out of Asriel's eyesight. If he's blinded, the weapon will disappear.

Also, I don't need to describe the appearance of the move since the weapon is in the picture, which I have replaced.

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

@Queen Glory:
>Low damage is enough to compensate for the fire rate. Also, the visibility of a bullet doesn't really matter. It's still going stupid fast.
>The bullets need a maximum range.
>For the laser, 4ft is a huge diameter. You sure you don't mean 4 inches?
>How far can the laser travel at most? What's the max range?
>You said it ends if he gets to tired, but never said how he would get tired. How tiring is the laser to fire?
>For the magic shurikens, I just realised it's plural. How many does he fire? What's the rate of fire? How long does it last? How does he fire them (e.g. a line, a 45° cone spray)? How big are they?
>10ft is a stupid small range, so small that it technically would need physical proficiency instead (12ft+ would push it to ranged).
>How far away can the weapon be moved from him?
>Where is it summoned? Next to him? Anywhere within the range?
>You contradicted yourself. You said it takes a minute to summon but also that it's summoned instantly (also, a minute is a long time in a fight, 2 to 5 seconds would be adequate for a summoning time).

>While you may not need to physically describe it, you should. Especially since that's a 2D pixelated stylised image. Just basic stuff like its size. Makes it easier for other writers.

[Aquamarine]

(Hey I think I am going to add a second, more focused and non-mobile version of the Empire Cold Gun Prototype later on, so I'll run it through here first.)

Freezing Burst (300 OM, Requires Ranged, Debuff, Area, Empire Cold Gun Prototype)
Aquamarine, when in deep problems that even her Traction Beam Wand can't stop, she can turn the power on her Cold Gun Prototype all the way to the highest level and fire at the ground of her opponent in order to trap them. Switching between this mode of the Empire Cold Gun Prototype and the regular version of the Cold Gun takes around 2 seconds, and with the maximum power version of the Cold Gun Aquamarine can fire all of the beams in the gun in a slow 5 inch wide beam that is 80 MPH at the ground of the opponent, causing the ground to freeze up in a 15 foot radius and ensnare the opponent's feet so that they won't be able to move. This move takes 3 seconds to charge and does not damage the opponent, but the move will prevent the opponents in radius of the freezing for around 5 seconds, though they will still be able to use Moves while frozen. The beam has a maximum range of 65 feet.

Aquamarine has to focus while firing this version of the gun, and while she can still move while charging the gun, she will not be able to use attacks while charging and will not be able to move or attack while firing the Freezing Burst. Using this version of the Empire Cold Gun Prototype will completely empty the Cold Gun, and as such Aquamarine will have to wait 6 seconds for the gun to reload before she can start charging another Freezing Burst or regular Empire Cold Gun Prototype blast.

[Ash]

Another one for ya Ebodane. Not even sure if this would work, just throwing an idea out there.

Shadow Shield (300 OM)
Requires Foresight; Best with Insight.
Upon sensing an attack coming her way, as a reaction, she summons a black phantom shield instantly to take the hit for her. This adds her TECH to her DEF for one attack(move). If the attacker's ATK is still higher, the shield shatters and she takes the hit regardless. If she successfully defends, she is pushed back 5-feet out of harms way and remains on her feet. The shield negates the attack but has a 1 minute cool down.
She has to stand still to brace herself for the potential failure, leaving her without the ability to attack or move until the result - either the shield holds or breaks.
Combined with Insight, Ash can tell if summoning the shield will actually be helpful or not.

[Xana Tanoshimu]

Light Screen - 300 OM
Physical Strength Proficiency

Xana channels her inner energy to her arms, this takes about a second or so. When she gathered enough, they'll glow with a faint golden light. Then, she raises them in front of her and with the palms pointing towards the incoming attack, or attacker. A glass-like, circular screen will project from her hands at about a feet away from her. The screen covers her completely and that size cannot be changed at will; if for some reason she's smaller or bigger in size then usual, it'll change to match her new size though. When attacks hit the moderately strong screen, they'll bounce off of it if they're physical or just disappear in contact if they're not. Neither Xana nor the projected screen can't be moved from their place. Because of the previous fact, it only blocks front attacks, not those aimed at her sides and/or back. Charge attacks will be more than enough to shatter the glass-like wall, only if their charging time surpasses the 3 seconds mark. Additionally, the screen gets noticeably weaker the more time it stays projected. Xana will be left heavily exhausted if the screen is shattered or if she uses it for more than three seconds.

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

@Aqua:
I don't have a lot to say this time, so good job.
>Where you list the required proficiencies, make sure you write area attack (because there's two area proficiencies).
>How long does the move fire for? How long is Aquamarine firing the beam?
>It may help your chances of getting the move approved if you clarify that the targets can still twist their upper body and attack (but not move).

@Ash:
That's a pretty cool move. Good way to make use of foresight without needing a high SPD.
>I don't think you'll need to summon the shield "instantly". I have a possible suggestion that could be useful, if not then ignore it. You have a small amount of time before the attack hits, so instead she could summon it by channeling all the magic (or whatever) that she can into a shield during the very short amount of time before the attack actually hits. Then, once the attack "hits", the shield summons the split second prior. The practical difference of this is that the opponent probably won't anticipate a shield appearing. If you make a shield when you sense the attack, they'll see it before they hit it.
>I don't think you need the "adds TEC to DEF" thing. And having the shield breaking dependant on their ATK doesn't seem completely logical as the damage of an attack also varies based on charge time and such. Maybe instead have it block/deflect an attack of medium (or large) damage. The numbers aren't really needed. Insight would still be useful for this.
>What visibly happens to the shield if it blocks the attack? You never said how it would disappear. Does it shatter as well (but Ash is also pushed to safety) or does it fade away or just magically disappear?
>To clarify, it looks like she only has a cooldown if the shield was successful. Is that true? (If it's not, I don't see why you couldn't do that)
>Besides that, it seems good and could work as it is already. It's basically "I block one attack a minute that I couldn't dodge". Your version currently has the downside of if someone sees you make the shield, they may choose not to hit it and stop their attack. And then make use of you standing there to hit with a new attack. I reckon you should probably go with my suggestion as that way you have a charge time as a drawback instead (and also can't move during it). Your choice, the move is pretty good, hopefully I was helpful.

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

@Xana:
Firstly, welcome to the club. I might have said it in chat at one point, I think you're fairly new, but no reason not to say it again.

Secondly, you've got a good basis for your move, but some key facts are also needed. Just basic things that stop it being ambiguous, an easy way to spot them is think "how could I misinterpret this" and "if I wanted to build this wall or sword or gun, what information would I need" For now, I'll try to help with the basics. Also, it's helpful if you repost the new version of the move with changes in bold.

>Describe the shield more for me. How tall is it? How much does it curve (e.g. semi-circle, quarter-circle, a third of a circle)? How wide is it?
>If the shield curves more than a little bit, having it be 1ft in front of Xana would make it be a bit cramped, so I'd suggest creating it further away, maybe 2 or 3ft (or just say an arm's length away).
>How long does the shield last if no one attacks it? Or does it just remain there for a while?
>You don't need physical attack for making a shield. But, if the shield is larger than 3ft by 3ft you need the area defense proficiency (consider this while deciding how big you want the wall to be, although Xana is taller than 3ft so she'd have to duck to hide behind it if you don't want to buy the area defense prof.)
>How strong is the shield? How easy is it for someone to break?
>Just to clarify, what happens to the shield if she moves?

Lastly, I've noticed you're on discord fairly often, if it's easier you can PM me on there. I know it can seem daunting. Also, it might be worth having a look at the first post of the move approval thread and other people's similar moves.

[Xana Tanoshimu]

I think I feel better redoing the thing as a whole, rather than just editing it, so here goes.

Light Screen - 300 OM

Xana builds up energy on her arms for a second, making them glow with a faint gold light. Then, she raises her arms, with the palms of her hands pointing towards the incoming attack or attacker. An screen will be projected from her hands at about 3ft away from her. The screen is made of a glass-like material and similar in form to a window. It is approximately 3ft tall and 3 ft wide. Most attacks that hit the barrier will bounce off of its surface, except those that have been charged for more than 3 seconds. If an strong enough attacks hits the shield, it'll shatter in very smalls pieces, like a glass, leaving Xana very exhausted for several seconds. Xana can't move the shield from its original position, and given its flat shape, it leaves her exposed to side and/or back attacks. The shield can be maintained for a total of 5 seconds, growing considerably weaker each second it passes.

Better?

[Jade Harley]

@Xana:

- Can Xana move while the shield is manifested? I know you said that she can't move the shield, but can she like.... walk around with it positioned in front of her?

- Can Xana attack from behind the shield, ie fire off some ranged attacks at people?

- Do melee attacks (not ranged attacks) bounce off as well?

[Xana Tanoshimu]

@Xana:

- Can Xana move while the shield is manifested? I know you said that she can't move the shield, but can she like.... walk around with it positioned in front of her?

- Can Xana attack from behind the shield, ie fire off some ranged attacks at people?

- Do melee attacks (not ranged attacks) bounce off as well?

I was old that making it a mobile shield is not a no-go, so forget that bit. The shield can move around her, but she has to keep her hands raised in order to it remaining projected. She can walk around, but the shield will always remain 3ft away from her.

No, the reasons as to why are explained above.

Yeah, unless their power equates a move that has been charged for more than 3 seconds.

Edited move, changes in bold, while deleted parts are scratched.

Light Screen - 300 OM

Xana builds up energy on her arms for a second, making them glow with a faint gold light. Then, she raises her arms, with the palms of her hands pointing towards the incoming attack or attacker. An screen will be projected from her hands at about 3ft away from her. The screen is made of a glass-like material and similar in form to a window. It is approximately 5ft 3ft tall and about 3 ft wide. It remains floating in front of her upper body and face, while her entire lower body is left exposed. Most attacks that hit the barrier, be them melee or ranged, will bounce off of its surface, except those that have been charged for more than 3 seconds. If an strong enough attacks hits the shield, it'll shatter in very smalls pieces, like a glass, leaving Xana very exhausted for several seconds. Xana can't move the shield from its original position, and given its flat shape, it leaves her exposed to side and/or back attacks. Xana can move herself and the shield around, but her arms must remain raised, rendering her unable to perform attacks, and the glass-like wall won't be farther or nearer to her than 3ft at all times. The shield can be maintained for a total of 5 seconds, growing considerably weaker each second it passes.

[Jade Harley]

You're good to post this in Move Approval, if you'd like.

[Aquamarine]

@Aqua:
I don't have a lot to say this time, so good job.
>Where you list the required proficiencies, make sure you write area attack (because there's two area proficiencies).
>How long does the move fire for? How long is Aquamarine firing the beam?
>It may help your chances of getting the move approved if you clarify that the targets can still twist their upper body and attack (but not move).

Freezing Burst (300 OM, Requires Ranged, Debuff, Area Attack, Empire Cold Gun Prototype)
Aquamarine, when in deep problems that even her Traction Beam Wand can't stop, she can turn the power on her Cold Gun Prototype all the way to the highest level and fire at the ground of her opponent in order to trap them. Switching between this mode of the Empire Cold Gun Prototype and the regular version of the Cold Gun takes around 2 seconds, and with the maximum power version of the Cold Gun Aquamarine can fire all of the beams in the gun in a slow 5 inch wide beam that is 80 MPH at the ground of the opponent, causing the ground to freeze up in a 15 foot radius and ensnare the opponent's feet so that they won't be able to move. This move takes 3 seconds to charge and does not damage the opponent, but the move will prevent the opponents in radius of the freezing for around 5 seconds from moving around, though they will still be able to twist their upper body around and be able use Moves while frozen. The beam has a maximum range of 65 feet and lasts until it hits the ground or reaches maximum distance.

Aquamarine has to focus while firing this version of the gun, and while she can still move while charging the gun, she will not be able to use attacks while charging and will not be able to move or attack while firing the Freezing Burst. Using this version of the Empire Cold Gun Prototype will completely empty the Cold Gun, and as such Aquamarine will have to wait 6 seconds for the gun to reload before she can start charging another Freezing Burst or regular Empire Cold Gun Prototype blast.

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

Awesome sause, Aqua. Good luck getting it approved.

[Asriel Dreemurr]

I'm going to take a break from the Chaos Blaster move for a while and switch to another move:

Fire Magic (300, requires Remote Control, Debuff and Ranged)

Asriel can summon small fireballs (sphere-like shapes which have 3-inch diameters) around his hands like in this image of his mother, Toriel.



They take a few seconds to summon. A warning that they will appear is that the air surrounding Asriel will suddenly turn extremely hot, although it's not hot enough to hurt anyone. The heat will vary in intensity depending how close you are to him, but anyone can feel the hot air from up to 20 feet away. This move is always telegraphed due to the heat.

Up to one dozen can be present at one time. Any combination of fireballs can work for each hand. However, he has to decide prior to using the move how many fireballs will float near each hand and he can't change that amount until they run out and he summons new ones.

The movements of his hands will manipulate them. Quick thrusts of his arms will send only one at a time out. He can punch over and over again to send out one fireball with each punch. The longer Asriel keeps his arms extended outwards, the more fireballs will be fired at once. The number of fireballs sent out matches the number of seconds he keeps his arms straight out. For instance, if Asriel decides to keep his arms out for 2 seconds, 2 fireballs will be sent out and etc. And he can also only use one arm if he wants to. If Asriel can't move, he won't be able to use this move. Since the fireballs are magic, they could be cast underwater and other environments without the conditions for fire to appear.

Each fireball's force is the same as a punch. They can also slightly singe the target, which makes that part of the body feel painful and decrease its capabilities. The burns will increase with each hit and the debuff will decrease when the burns are healed. He will have to wait between a few seconds before using the move again if he only summoned one, a few minutes if he summoned all 12, or anywhere in between, depending on the amount he created.

Also, none of his moves can be used at the same time as others.

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

@Asriel: Nice move idea. There's some basic information missing, however, but I get your idea. I think.

Firstly, I'd like to clarify a few things (and based on your answers you might be able to disregard some of my other questions):
>He can summon all 12 over the first few seconds if he wishes, right? (And not one at a time)
>He can summon up to 12, so since he can create any amount (and that influences the cooldown time) the move might end up costing 300 more, if I were you I'd simply always create 12 to make it cheaper.
>It takes 1 second to shoot 1 fireball, but if he waits for 2 seconds he can shoot 2 at once. If that's the case then the move will cost another 300 more for the variability. If I were you, I'd stick with shooting one per second each time to make it cheaper. (Maybe phrase it as him holding out an arm for one second to charge the shot, and then punching to shoot it)
>Can he also shoot 2 fireballs per second if he used both arms at once? (this wouldn't require variability)
>Does the cooldown start when he finishes summoning the fireballs, or once he's used them all?
>The limit on using other moves, is that while the fireballs exist, or while he's trying to fire them? (So could he pause shooting the floating fireballs and hit someone with a sword or use another move?)
>You said this doesn't work if he can't move, do you mean his arms specifically (as he needs those to shoot) or does he need his whole body?

About the summoning:
>When he summons the fireballs, how close to him do they float?
>Does he have to stand still while summoning them?

About the fireballs:
>How far can he shoot the fireballs? (50ft? 100ft? 200ft? Or even further?)
>How fast do the fireballs go? (Arrow speed? Bullet speed?)

About the shooting:
>Does he have to stand still while he's shooting the fireballs? (i.e. when he has his arms stretched out and is charging the shots)
>If he moves, do the fireballs floating in the air follow him?

About the timing in general:
>Be a bit more specific with your times. How long is a few second? 3 seconds?
>Similarly, how long is a few minutes or a few seconds in the cooldown time? 5 seconds per 1 fireball so a minute for all 12?

About the debuff:
>Your debuff is probably not going to be approved. Permanent debuffs (even if they can be healed with other moves) are considered to generally be too OP - especially for a regular move. The only move that has one that I know of that does that is my "Soul Strike" move I haven't bought yet, and that's only allowed because it essentially uses debuff for non-lethal damage.
>So, give it a time, how long do the burns weaken the affected area of the opponent? 2 seconds? 3 seconds? 5 seconds?
>How potent is the debuff? As in, how much does it weaken someone? Do their arms just feel a little bit heavier and sluggish? Or do the burns majorly inhibit moves? (stronger debuff = less damage, and since it's permanent until healed you can't make it very strong without it being too OP)
>Also, if hit by a fireball while already debuffed, would that refresh the debuff timer or add to it?

Comments:
>The cooldown is unnecessary. From a mechanical perspective, cooldowns don't really have much impact on the possible move strength. And there's nothing wrong with you spamming this move as far as I can see. I wouldn't bother with one (having to basically reload is good enough), but if you want it then have it.
>The delegation of fireballs to each arm isn't really needed (they could both share the supply), but if you want it as a cool fodder thing then go ahead.
>I'd advise to stick with cheaper and simpler moves rather than introducing variability. Especially while you're just easing into the swing of things. Although, charging and shooting multiple fireballs at once could be worth the additional 300 OM.
>Your general move was thought out fairly well, you're getting there. The drawback is pretty reasonable (having to stand there and obviously be charging something).

[Asriel Dreemurr]

The only move that has one that I know of that does that is my "Soul Strike" move I haven't bought yet, and that's only allowed because it essentially uses debuff for non-lethal damage.

Arle Nadja has a similar move to mine called Fire! with a debuff that lasts until it is healed. http://omniverse-rpg.com/showthread.php?...5#pid96895

[Ebonywood Hellscythe]

@Asriel. Sorry, nevermind then. Thanks for pointing that out to me.

Just make it clear, like Arle, that the debuff only reduces performance "slightly". I've edited my comment to reflect this.