Move Approval V

[Dane Regan]

Body of Weather (Advanced Regeneration) (300):
[spoiler]Summer or Sonny begin to pull from the very same power that makes up their body, that found in the very weather all around them, greatly overdriving their natural regenerative ability. For as long as he's able to maintain this constant draw from nature itself, all wounds he would accrue are healed instantly, letting him keep fighting at peak performance even as injuries should begin to pile up. Since this is basically second nature to him, he can use it as easily as he can breathe, allowing him to fight, take hits, charge moves and powers, etc. Basically, he can start it, stop it, and maintain it whenever wants to, and fight unhindered as he does.
Such resilience is fleeting, however, and he cannot borrow power without paying it back. As wounds would accumulate, the energy it takes to maintain this ability grows rapidly, and the moment he's unable to maintain it anymore (either through wearing out or choosing to stop), the natural order reclaims its power. The weather itself (whether it's mist, light, snow, rain, wind, etc.) explodes out from his body and all the wounds that he suppressed through this regeneration reappear on him simultaneously. While he can hold back small wounds for minutes at a time before wearing out completely, the larger the wounds get, the more rapidly it tires him. Huge injuries like broken bones, deep slashes, and missing limbs can only be maintained for mere seconds before exhausting him, so even though he can fight less cautiously, he must still be wary, lest he tire himself out too quickly.[/spoiler]

And adjusting Heavenly Bolt as well because uh...
It was kinda stupidly unuseable >.>
I mean, it's still silly now, but less so. Also clarified a good few things that were too vague.
Old:
[spoiler]Heavenly Bolt (Ranged, Ranged Materialize, Area Attack) (300): 
Channeling the weather’s power, Summer quickly and forcefully gathers up huge amounts of electrical energy in the sky. After four seconds of immobile charging, he calls down a single, powerful lightning strike from the heavens, regardless of whether it’s cloudy or clear, with a snap of his fingers for added flair. Aimed at a foe within fifty meters of him, the bolt slams into the ground, striking a random spot somewhere within twenty meters of the target. As a semi-natural lightning strike, the bolt itself holds tremendous amounts of power, wielding a strength capable of blowing apart grown trees from the inside. Of course, since it’s a bonafide lightning bolt, the actual bolt is approximately an inch wide and all but impossible to reliably aim. Actually getting it to hit what he wants it to hit comes down to pure chance. Due to this, he prefers to rely on the resulting shockwave, a powerful, concussive blast that bowls over anyone within three meters of the bolt itself. Calling down a lightning strike in such a short amount of time takes up a huge amount of Summer’s power, leaving him utterly exhausted in the wake of it. Can not be used in places where the skies are blocked, such as buildings or caves.[/spoiler]

And New:
[spoiler]Heavenly Bolt (Ranged, Ranged Materialize, Area Attack, Debuff) (300):
The wrath of the heavens themselves given physical form. Over the course of 5 seconds (a time during which he must remain totally still and cannot attack or be attacked), Summer forces a charge into the sky above, readying a devastating lightning bolt. With a snap of his fingers for added flair, he calls down a single, powerful strike, aiming for a target location of his choice within 50 meters. Since it's a totally natural lightning event, it, of course, carries all the tremendous power that lightning normally carries. This one-inch thick bolt of pure electricity tears down erratically from the heavens themselves, piercing through everyone and everything in its path, destroying every object and obstacle that it rips through. Of course, Prime-created shields that are equal to or stronger than this terrifying bolt will stop it in its path, but anything less merely weakens it on its inexorable journey to the ground.
Since it is a bonafide lightning strike, it’s impossible to reliably aim. While the bolt itself houses catastrophic strength, it will almost never hit what Summer intends it to, instead slamming down somewhere randomly within 10 meters of his target. (In the context of RP, this means it will never hit someone directly unless they're too big to miss). Due to this, he relies on its secondary effects instead. Anyone that the bolt itself passes within 6 meters of (whether that was when it touched down or if it passed by someone flying) is struck by a thunderous, concussive shockwave, throwing them clear off their feet and dazing them for 5 seconds. Anyone (including himself) within 20 meters is blinded by the flash and deafened by the blast, both also lasting 5 seconds.
Gathering up a charge in the sky as quickly as he does, regardless of the weather, is a lot more energy-intensive than simply gathering up charge within his body, especially for a strike as powerful as this is, leaving Summer completely and utterly exhausted after use, on the verge of collapsing then and there. Additionally, since it comes down from the sky, it can only be used in places where his view of the sky isn't blocked.[/spoiler]

Body of Weather is approved.

Your upgrades to Heavenly Bolt are approved. (On the basis that it can't conventionally do damage to anyone with its 100% miss rate, so it's basically just a strong debuff that's very deliberating for Summer to use)

---

@Sasuke: Can you explain how you trick someone into attacking an ally. "With illusions" is too vague. Does it make an ally look like Sasuke to them? Or something else? At the moment your moves lack the description. Also, I don't understand why the non-super version needs 300 OM. Lastly, can you elaborate on "Activation time and success is based on the rules regarding technique stat difference between the user and the target." Since, is it referring to the telepathy time/TEC constraints? The insight ones? Something else? For simplicity, just work the numbers you want into the move (like, takes X seconds, and varies in Y way based on TEC). Lastly, you'll need ranged proficiency listed, and maybe homing or ranged materialise depending on how you write the illusions and how they work.

As for whether or not your move is actually possible, I don't know. A higher up will give you the final approval since I can't think of anything similar off the top of my head. I'd assume it is doable with the right drawbacks.

[Viola]

A slight temporary change/downgrade on "Cradle of Time" (old approval is here: http://omniverse-rpg.com/showthread.php?...#pid128138)

Making it so it only works on Viola, since she doesn't have homing yet so wouldn't be able to target anyone else.

Old:
[spoiler]
Cradle of Time (300) Requires: Time Manipulation, Buff, Ranged, Homing

By warping the progression of time and splitting cause and effect, Viola can delay the impact of attacks made against her and others. Whenever she or someone else is hit by an attack, she can choose to expend a small amount of fatigue to delay it - allowing an opportunity to get away from potential further harm before taking any deliberating effects. This will initially make it appear like the attack did nothing, and the target won't even stagger or feel any pain - although they will after this move ends. Viola can use this move multiple times at once, and it requires very little concentration (but with multiple uses at once this adds up), however for every attack she delays, Viola suffers a constant strain of fatigue depending on the number and strength of the attacks. This would be almost nothing for a small scratch, but for more cuts or stronger attacks, this quickly adds up. Typically, multiple strong attacks can usually be delayed for up to 5 seconds if she's not doing much else, potentially longer if she pushed herself. This move cannot delay the effects of super moves. Lastly, Viola can use this to delay the impact of non-damaging moves, such as debuffs (where the potency of which determines how hard they are to delay). 

Each use of this move is individual, so Viola could stagger it and choose to allow each attack to take effect one after another rather than all at once. Notably, the target of this move does not need to be willing, so she could also use it offensively by delaying damage against an opponent to a more opportune time - and make them feel the impact of multiple smaller hits all at once. Viola has to choose to use this move the moment an attack lands, so some combat awareness is needed to use it on an ally.[/spoiler]
(If I buy this "New" version, I plan to upgrade it back to the old one, should I get all the profs I need - which I plan to do)
New:
[spoiler]
(The only thing that's changes is that she can only use it on herself - so I basically cut out beneficial parts. It's a pure downgrade, but the move is still useful otherwise I wouldn't be getting it.)

Cradle of Time (300) Requires: Time Manipulation

By warping the progression of time and splitting cause and effect, Viola can delay the impact of attacks made against her. Whenever she is hit by an attack, she can choose to expend a small amount of fatigue to delay it - allowing an opportunity to get away from potential further harm before taking any deliberating effects. This will initially make it appear like the attack did nothing, and she won't even stagger or feel any pain - although she will after this move ends. Viola can use this move multiple times at once, and it requires very little concentration (but with multiple uses at once this adds up), however for every attack she delays, Viola suffers a constant strain of fatigue depending on the number and strength of the attacks. This would be almost nothing for a small scratch, but for more cuts or stronger attacks, this quickly adds up. Typically, multiple strong attacks can usually be delayed for up to 5 seconds if she's not doing much else, potentially longer if she pushed herself. This move cannot delay the effects of super moves. Lastly, Viola can use this to delay the impact of non-damaging moves, such as debuffs (where the potency of which determines how hard they are to delay). 

Each use of this move is individual, so Viola could stagger it and choose to allow each attack to take effect one after another rather than all at once.[/spoiler]

[Dane Regan]

Just a move to allow the switching of powerups and stuff in the same way as alt forms. Only of the same tier though. Figured I'd see if this is approvable before I invest in a bunch of powerups.

Psyche Switch (300)

Dane can change his fighting style up drastically in the middle of a fight - even with larger amounts of mana. Similar to how Dane switches between his alt forms, he can also do the same with power-ups and powered-up forms. While one power-up or powered-up form is active, he and concentrate and redirect his mana to replace it with another of the same tier. This follows the usual SPD based time constraints for switching between alt forms, and Dane could use this to swap between one normal form and a power-up to a powered-up form, and back, or to swap his alt form and a power-up at the same time. Diverting so much mana can be a little bit tiring, however, but unless he does this often it's unlikely to deliberate him too much.

[Serraph Quarrere]

T1 Super Move: Cero (Requires: Ranged Proficiency, Area Proficiency): A glowing crimson light emanates from Serraph's form coalescing and concentrating on a single point on Serraph's body or his Zanpakuto. This mass of blood red spiritual energy collects in a sphere and implodes upon itself during the charging process, which takes four seconds, before bursting forward  in a straight line towards its target. The structure of the attack is not a  smooth beam of energy but an erratic, jaggedly moving, 4 foot wide,blast similar to the common idea of a bolt of lightning's appearance. The blast itself moves at an average speed of about 85 mph at anything within line of sight .

[King Ghidorah]

The following assumes I've got 3 stat upgrades (which I do in fact have) and Power-Up Boost I (which I'm going to get as soon as my book-club OM drops) for a total of five extra stats.

Monster Zero - Tier 2 Powered-Up Form (1500  OM)

King Ghidorah has gained the power to assume the shape he possessed shortly after becoming an adult, when he was only about 100 million years old, standing 80 meters (about 260 feet) tall with unyielding bronze scales stronger than steel covering every inch of his body except for his leathery wings. As Monster Zero, Ghidorah has a wing-span about twice his height, three serpentine necks ending in sneering draconic heads, two long, sinister tails tipped with wiry tufts of golden hair, a man-like, armless torso and a pair of elephantine legs. A larger, harder, faster, stronger iteration of his tier-1 transformation, this form is incredibly powerful, both in the cosmic and purely physical sense - though with its lack of arms, still not the most physically articulate when it comes to combat.


ATK:9
DEF:10
SPD:5
TEC:1

[Jak Mar]

T2 Powerup Form- Blue Eco form (1500 OM)

Jak has control over every type of eco there is out there in his world. In this form, Jak gained his ability to run fast and punch fast. His body glows blue and he is able to run twice as fast as he usually does.

Attack: +3
Def: +3
Spd: +10
Tech: 4

[Dane Regan]

Only moves unresponded to should be Kaleigh's fodder alt-form which is bumped in the next post (which I'm tentative to approve due to a somewhat large appearance change, despite no intent for any mechanical benefit), and stuff of mine (I'm also Viola).

---

T1 Super Move: Cero (Requires: Ranged Proficiency, Area Proficiency): A glowing crimson light emanates from Serraph's form coalescing and concentrating on a single point on Serraph's body or his Zanpakuto. This mass of blood red spiritual energy collects in a sphere and implodes upon itself during the charging process, which takes four seconds, before bursting forward  in a straight line towards its target. The structure of the attack is not a  smooth beam of energy but an erratic, jaggedly moving, 4 foot wide,blast similar to the common idea of a bolt of lightning's appearance. The blast itself moves at an average speed of about 85 mph at anything within line of sight .

To clarify, does this beam move forwards and zig-zag towards one target? Or does it zig-zag through everyone in front of Serraph? Or people of his choice? I'm just asking because you implied there was only one target at the start, but at the end, you said it moves at anything within line of sight. Either would work, although you'd need ranged control to make it zig zag through everyone and change its path. Or homing.

The following assumes I've got 3 stat upgrades (which I do in fact have) and Power-Up Boost I (which I'm going to get as soon as my book-club OM drops) for a total of five extra stats.

Monster Zero - Tier 2 Powered-Up Form (1500  OM)

King Ghidorah has gained the power to assume the shape he possessed shortly after becoming an adult, when he was only about 100 million years old, standing 80 meters (about 260 feet) tall with unyielding bronze scales stronger than steel covering every inch of his body except for his leathery wings. As Monster Zero, Ghidorah has a wing-span about twice his height, three serpentine necks ending in sneering draconic heads, two long, sinister tails tipped with wiry tufts of golden hair, a man-like, armless torso and a pair of elephantine legs. A larger, harder, faster, stronger iteration of his tier-1 transformation, this form is incredibly powerful, both in the cosmic and purely physical sense - though with its lack of arms, still not the most physically articulate when it comes to combat.


ATK:9
DEF:10
SPD:5
TEC:1

Approved, for purchase after you get your powerup boost.

T2 Powerup Form- Blue Eco form (1500 OM)

Jak has control over every type of eco there is out there in his world. In this form, Jak gained his ability to run fast and punch fast.  His body glows blue and he is able to run twice as fast as he usually does.

Attack: +3
Def: +3
Spd: +10
Tech: 4

You have a stat increase, but have only used 20 stats. Please add another stat point. Also, remove the '+' symbols. If you want a powered up form, you don't add the stats to your current ones. They replace your current ones, and the '+' can be a bit misleading.

[Kaleigh Dactomb Nox]

Bumping this so it's not forgotten, ^ ^. Been 4 days.

The Black Dog (Alternate Form) - 0OM (Fluff)
Kaleigh harbors a darkness inside of her, a monster she calls Nox, and it will manifest itself if her control slips. This can happen against her will if two conditions are met: First, she must truly believe that she is in serious danger. Second, she must take a blow that would be fatal to a normal human. If these two conditions are met, Kaleigh can still stop the transformation if she stands still and focuses entirely on preventing the transformation for a solid minute. If she doesn’t, she will quickly begin to undergo a drastic change of both body and mind. Jet black fur sprouts from her body, consuming any equipment or clothing she is wearing, with the sole exception of the Black Omen. Her feminine features quickly fade and disappear, and her body takes on a distinct canine appearance very similar to that of a werewolf. Finally, the irises of her eyes begin to shift and move as if there was a fire suddenly lit inside of them. This entire transformation takes about 4 seconds.

Nox is similar to Kaleigh in both size and power, and their fighting styles are identical. Anyone who sees Nox will recognize him as Kaleigh, and any foul deeds he accomplishes will be laid at her feet. He is brutal and ruthless, seeking only to utterly decimate whatever being or beings caused the attack that triggered the transformation. If the original target is killed or otherwise is no longer valid, he will continue to fight and kill any nearby allies of the original target until either they are dead or escape and no one else hostile is in the immediate area. Kaleigh will regain control of herself as soon as she is no longer in danger, according to what her own perception of such danger would be, and the transformation back is the same as before, only in reverse.

(Link to questions thread)

[Dane Regan]

Bumping this so it's not forgotten, ^ ^. Been 4 days.

The Black Dog (Alternate Form) - 0OM (Fluff)
Kaleigh harbors a darkness inside of her, a monster she calls Nox, and it will manifest itself if her control slips. This can happen against her will if two conditions are met: First, she must truly believe that she is in serious danger. Second, she must take a blow that would be fatal to a normal human. If these two conditions are met, Kaleigh can still stop the transformation if she stands still and focuses entirely on preventing the transformation for a solid minute. If she doesn’t, she will quickly begin to undergo a drastic change of both body and mind. Jet black fur sprouts from her body, consuming any equipment or clothing she is wearing, with the sole exception of the Black Omen. Her feminine features quickly fade and disappear, and her body takes on a distinct canine appearance very similar to that of a werewolf. Finally, the irises of her eyes begin to shift and move as if there was a fire suddenly lit inside of them. This entire transformation takes about 4 seconds.

Nox is similar to Kaleigh in both size and power, and their fighting styles are identical. Anyone who sees Nox will recognize him as Kaleigh, and any foul deeds he accomplishes will be laid at her feet. He is brutal and ruthless, seeking only to utterly decimate whatever being or beings caused the attack that triggered the transformation. If the original target is killed or otherwise is no longer valid, he will continue to fight and kill any nearby allies of the original target until either they are dead or escape and no one else hostile is in the immediate area. Kaleigh will regain control of herself as soon as she is no longer in danger, according to what her own perception of such danger would be, and the transformation back is the same as before, only in reverse.

(Link to questions thread)

Approved, but as a one-off. So, you can't get other 'fodder alt-forms' to as a way to bypass shapeshifting or something like that.

(Edit: I didn't randomly change my mind and decide to approve this, I asked Omni about it)

[Jade Harley]

A slight temporary change/downgrade on "Cradle of Time" (old approval is here: http://omniverse-rpg.com/showthread.php?...#pid128138)

Making it so it only works on Viola, since she doesn't have homing yet so wouldn't be able to target anyone else.

Old:
[spoiler]
Cradle of Time (300) Requires: Time Manipulation, Buff, Ranged, Homing

By warping the progression of time and splitting cause and effect, Viola can delay the impact of attacks made against her and others. Whenever she or someone else is hit by an attack, she can choose to expend a small amount of fatigue to delay it - allowing an opportunity to get away from potential further harm before taking any deliberating effects. This will initially make it appear like the attack did nothing, and the target won't even stagger or feel any pain - although they will after this move ends. Viola can use this move multiple times at once, and it requires very little concentration (but with multiple uses at once this adds up), however for every attack she delays, Viola suffers a constant strain of fatigue depending on the number and strength of the attacks. This would be almost nothing for a small scratch, but for more cuts or stronger attacks, this quickly adds up. Typically, multiple strong attacks can usually be delayed for up to 5 seconds if she's not doing much else, potentially longer if she pushed herself. This move cannot delay the effects of super moves. Lastly, Viola can use this to delay the impact of non-damaging moves, such as debuffs (where the potency of which determines how hard they are to delay). 

Each use of this move is individual, so Viola could stagger it and choose to allow each attack to take effect one after another rather than all at once. Notably, the target of this move does not need to be willing, so she could also use it offensively by delaying damage against an opponent to a more opportune time - and make them feel the impact of multiple smaller hits all at once. Viola has to choose to use this move the moment an attack lands, so some combat awareness is needed to use it on an ally.[/spoiler]
(If I buy this "New" version, I plan to upgrade it back to the old one, should I get all the profs I need - which I plan to do)
New:
[spoiler]
(The only thing that's changes is that she can only use it on herself - so I basically cut out beneficial parts. It's a pure downgrade, but the move is still useful otherwise I wouldn't be getting it.)

Cradle of Time (300) Requires: Time Manipulation

By warping the progression of time and splitting cause and effect, Viola can delay the impact of attacks made against her. Whenever she is hit by an attack, she can choose to expend a small amount of fatigue to delay it - allowing an opportunity to get away from potential further harm before taking any deliberating effects. This will initially make it appear like the attack did nothing, and she won't even stagger or feel any pain - although she will after this move ends. Viola can use this move multiple times at once, and it requires very little concentration (but with multiple uses at once this adds up), however for every attack she delays, Viola suffers a constant strain of fatigue depending on the number and strength of the attacks. This would be almost nothing for a small scratch, but for more cuts or stronger attacks, this quickly adds up. Typically, multiple strong attacks can usually be delayed for up to 5 seconds if she's not doing much else, potentially longer if she pushed herself. This move cannot delay the effects of super moves. Lastly, Viola can use this to delay the impact of non-damaging moves, such as debuffs (where the potency of which determines how hard they are to delay). 

Each use of this move is individual, so Viola could stagger it and choose to allow each attack to take effect one after another rather than all at once.[/spoiler]

Updates = approved!

[Serraph Quarrere]

The Great Dane spoketh:
To clarify, does this beam move forwards and zig-zag towards one target? Or does it zig-zag through everyone in front of Serraph? Or people of his choice? I'm just asking because you implied there was only one target at the start, but at the end, you said it moves at anything within line of sight. Either would work, although you'd need ranged control to make it zig zag through everyone and change its path. Or homing.

 
 It doesn't dodge anything or weave around anything. If Serraph sees a target, he fires the cero in the direction of the target. The ziggity zaggity motion of the blast is merely for flavor and isn't quite enough to outright dodge anything in its way. I apologize if this is misleading and I'll try and reword this if you suggest this! ^-^

[Dane Regan]

It doesn't dodge anything or weave around anything. If Serraph sees a target, he fires the cero in the direction of the target. The ziggity zaggity motion of the blast is merely for flavor and isn't quite enough to outright dodge anything in its way. I apologize if this is misleading and I'll try and reword this if you suggest this! ^-^

Nah, I think I was just having a silly moment there. You're good. It does clearly say "straight line". I just misread the bit at the end (for some reason, I thought "at anything within line of sight" meant it hit everything within line of sight, when it obviously doesn't. Sorry dude. That said, maybe it would be best to add in a little bit just in case. Like this:

T1 Super Attack: Cero (Requires: Ranged Proficiency, Area Proficiency, 600 OM): A glowing crimson light emanates from Serraph's form coalescing and concentrating on a single point on Serraph's body or his Zanpakuto. This mass of blood red spiritual energy collects in a sphere and implodes upon itself during the charging process, which takes four seconds, before bursting forward in a straight line towards its target. The structure of the attack is not a smooth beam of energy but an erratic, jaggedly moving, 4 foot wide, blast similar to the common idea of a bolt of lightning's appearance. The zig-zagging motion of the blast isn't quite enough to outright dodge anything in its way. The blast itself moves at an average speed of about 85 mph and can be aimed at anything within line of sight.

^You can consider this to be approved, and just quote this post if you want. Or go ahead and rephrase that.

[Serraph Quarrere]

I appreciate the help homeslice. Keep up the hard work!

[Clownpiece]

Adding a charged mode to "Barrage: Stars and Stripes"

Old:
[spoiler]Barrage: Stars and Stripes (Ranged, Area Attack) (600): 
Stars: 
Clownpiece attempts to limit where enemies can move with a barrage of star-shaped, magical bullets. After charging up for 2 seconds, a process she needs to remain still during, she sweeps her torch out in front of her and conjures a line of 10 approximately 1-meter diameter shining stars, glowing in vibrant blues, reds, and whites. These shoot forward and spread out in a vaguely semi-circular pattern, flying forward up to 30 meters in 3 seconds before fizzling out. Each individual star is incredibly weak, doing little permanent damage, but hurting like a taser shot. The attack isn’t meant for its damage, however, as the spread is useful for forcing an enemy onto the defense for a short bit at least. Though if someone happens to be standing right in front of her as she casts it, they could potentially eat the entire barrage at once. She prefers to cast it by sweeping her torch out in front of her like she does for a lot of moves, but this attack doesn't require it. Her hand can be empty, or she could do it with a normal stick, or whatever. It's a normal use of her own magic, the torch is just for flair.
Stripes: 
An attack that’s a bit more direct than the curtain of stars. Clownpiece concentrates for 2 seconds, targeting a single point within 50 meters of her, and then releases an array of two, 1-meter diameter glowing magic orbs into the air just above her head, on either side of her. After a second of silence, the orbs, which shine in a random color between red, white, and blue, unleash a laser blast directly towards that single point, intersecting at it and continuing on. The lasers glow in the same color as the parent orb, measure half a meter in diameter, and travel their distance in an instant, burning bright for one second before fizzling out. Unlike the stars, which merely sting, the stripes burn intensely, with a heat similar to that of her charged Hellfire, though concentrated in a small area. Due to the delay between summoning the orbs and the lasers being fired, Clownpiece must guess where her opponent’s going to be in a second, making it fairly difficult to land.

Both versions of the attack have a moderate energy drain to them, allowing her to use them a good few times in a fight before she wears herself out.[/spoiler]

New:
[spoiler]Barrage: Stars and Stripes (Ranged, Area Attack) (900):
Stars:
Clownpiece attempts to limit where enemies can move with a barrage of star-shaped, magical bullets. After charging up for at least 2 seconds, a process she needs to remain still during, she sweeps her torch out in front of her and conjures a line of 10 shining stars, each measuring about 1 meter in diameter and glowing in vibrant blues, reds, and whites. These shoot forward and spread out in a vaguely semi-circular pattern, flying forward up to 30 meters in 3 seconds before fizzling out. Each individual star is rather weak, doing little permanent damage, but still burns upon contact. The attack isn’t meant for its damage, however, as the spread is useful for forcing an enemy onto the defense for a short bit at least. Though if someone happens to be standing right in front of her as she casts it, they could potentially eat the entire barrage at once. She prefers to cast it by sweeping her torch out in front of her like she does for a lot of moves, but this attack doesn't require it. Her hand can be empty, or she could do it with a normal stick, or whatever. It's a normal use of her own magic, the torch is just for flair.
Stripes:
An attack that’s a bit more direct than the curtain of stars. Clownpiece concentrates for at least 2 seconds before releasing an array of two glowing, magic orbs, shining in a random color between red, white and blue, and each measuring 1 meter in diameter, into the air just above and off to the side of her. After a second of sitting still, these orbs unleash a laser blast directly towards a single point of Clownpiece's choosing within 50 meters, (though the lasers, being beams of light, don't just stop there) intersecting at it, and continuing on. The lasers glow in the same color as the parent orb, measure half a meter in diameter, and travel their distance in an instant, burning bright for one second before fizzling out. Unlike the stars, which merely sting, the stripes burn with an incredibly intense heat, allowing them to burn through most obstacles in their path. Due to the delay between summoning the orbs and the lasers being fired, Clownpiece must guess where her opponent’s going to be in a second, making it fairly difficult to land.

Both versions of the attack have a moderate energy drain to them, allowing her to use them fairly frequently in a fight, but she still must be careful about wearing herself out. Additionally, Clownpiece may choose to continue charging after the initial one. For every 2 seconds of additional charge, she can fire off another barrage immediately after. For Stars, this means she continuously sweeps her torch back and forth in front of her, conjuring up wave after wave of stars. For Stripes, this means she releases more pairs of orbs into the air, each staggered by half a second, and each can be aimed at a different spot. These additional charges can be mixed together (so for example, if she charges for 8 seconds, she could do 2 barrages of Stars and 2 of Stripes. Or 3 of Stars and 1 of Stripes, etc), and occur simultaneously (meaning that the orbs for Stripes begin appearing as soon as she starts sweeping her torch in front of her for Stars). These additional charges can theoretically max out at 1 minute of charging, or 30 barrages, but that would leave Clownpiece completely and utterly exhausted, and actually getting a chance to stand still for that long in a battle is extremely unlikely.[/spoiler]

[Dane Regan]

@Clownpiece: I think you should add an upper cap to that. They have a moderate drain for each use, and I assume it stacks, but I'd like you to spell out how many uses she can stack together at once (in peak condition). 10 uses, perhaps? 20 seconds of standing still. (Note: I'm not suggesting 10 uses per fight, just 10 at once. If she takes a breather, she could do that again after a little bit.)

[Clownpiece]

Made an edit to the last paragraph there.
1 minute of charge max, but actually reaching that limit is nearly impossible and completely exhausting.

[Dane Regan]

[spoiler]Barrage: Stars and Stripes (Ranged, Area Attack) (900):
Stars:
Clownpiece attempts to limit where enemies can move with a barrage of star-shaped, magical bullets. After charging up for at least 2 seconds, a process she needs to remain still during, she sweeps her torch out in front of her and conjures a line of 10 shining stars, each measuring about 1 meter in diameter and glowing in vibrant blues, reds, and whites. These shoot forward and spread out in a vaguely semi-circular pattern, flying forward up to 30 meters in 3 seconds before fizzling out. Each individual star is rather weak, doing little permanent damage, but still burns upon contact. The attack isn’t meant for its damage, however, as the spread is useful for forcing an enemy onto the defense for a short bit at least. Though if someone happens to be standing right in front of her as she casts it, they could potentially eat the entire barrage at once. She prefers to cast it by sweeping her torch out in front of her like she does for a lot of moves, but this attack doesn't require it. Her hand can be empty, or she could do it with a normal stick, or whatever. It's a normal use of her own magic, the torch is just for flair.
Stripes:
An attack that’s a bit more direct than the curtain of stars. Clownpiece concentrates for at least 2 seconds before releasing an array of two glowing, magic orbs, shining in a random color between red, white and blue, and each measuring 1 meter in diameter, into the air just above and off to the side of her. After a second of sitting still, these orbs unleash a laser blast directly towards a single point of Clownpiece's choosing within 50 meters, (though the lasers, being beams of light, don't just stop there) intersecting at it, and continuing on. The lasers glow in the same color as the parent orb, measure half a meter in diameter, and travel their distance in an instant, burning bright for one second before fizzling out. Unlike the stars, which merely sting, the stripes burn with an incredibly intense heat, allowing them to burn through most obstacles in their path. Due to the delay between summoning the orbs and the lasers being fired, Clownpiece must guess where her opponent’s going to be in a second, making it fairly difficult to land.

Both versions of the attack have a moderate energy drain to them, allowing her to use them fairly frequently in a fight, but she still must be careful about wearing herself out. Additionally, Clownpiece may choose to continue charging after the initial one. For every 2 seconds of additional charge, she can fire off another barrage immediately after. For Stars, this means she continuously sweeps her torch back and forth in front of her, conjuring up wave after wave of stars. For Stripes, this means she releases more pairs of orbs into the air, each staggered by half a second, and each can be aimed at a different spot. These additional charges can be mixed together (so for example, if she charges for 8 seconds, she could do 2 barrages of Stars and 2 of Stripes. Or 3 of Stars and 1 of Stripes, etc), and occur simultaneously (meaning that the orbs for Stripes begin appearing as soon as she starts sweeping her torch in front of her for Stars). These additional charges can theoretically max out at 1 minute of charging, or 30 barrages, but that would leave Clownpiece completely and utterly exhausted, and actually getting a chance to stand still for that long in a battle is extremely unlikely.[/spoiler]

Approved.

[Viola]

I'm doing a pretty big overhaul/upgrade of Aetherblades to vastly increase the versatility. So I'm reposting the whole move instead of just writing additions. I'm aware this will put me over my cap in terms of approval OM, since I had to add some stuff to other moves to collaborate with this. The changes to the other moves should be fairly simple though. It's not some super essential change, but if anyone gets time to look through this, I'll be grateful. I was depating making a new move for it all, but because the changes mesh greatly with the base attributes of the swords, I decided it probably wasn't possible to.

Original:
[spoiler]Aetherblades (600) Requires: Ranged Proficiency, Ranged Control

Viola can create up to four floating magical swords appear within 3m of her. Each sword takes 2 seconds of concentration to create, during which she can move. The swords are created one at a time, so it would take 8 seconds to make all 4. Creating the swords is not tiring. The swords are translucent blue-violet, have 0.9m long blades, are straight, and have a crossguard like a typical longsword. While they have handles, Viola is not physically strong enough to use them so has to control them with her magic. Usually, Viola can comfortably move the handles at up to 30m/s* within 60m of her, but while rotating them to attack or parry she would struggle to move them at 10m/s*. The swords can spin very fast while the handle is moving below 10m/s*, and if she had the reaction time and skill they would have a good shot at deflecting a bullet if in the right place.

The blades are durable and very unlikely to break - but, a strong hit to the handle will cause the sword to disperse into the air. Viola can destroy the swords with 2 seconds of stationary concentration per sword. They also disintegrate if Viola falls unconscious, or if they are ever moved more than 60m away from her. She can also destroy one instantly by touching its handle

The swords don't inherently require a lot of focus to move - no more than one has to focus to move an arm. But, in intense combat, using all four at once quickly and effectively does require her to stand still and dedicate all her concentration towards them. In a slower drawn-out fight, however, she can usually move and use/charge less demanding attacks while still controlling her swords - and using one or two swords at once doesn't notably inhibit her at all unless she is being very aggressive - or forced to put all her efforts towards defending from a fast attacker. The swords are generally weak (but still very sharp) - at least compared to what Viola's magic is capable of - they trade off raw strength for versatility, durability, and speed. So, if continuously harassed, the damage will build up. Furthermore, beyond 30m, wounds caused by the swords tend to be weaker, dropping off in strength until they reach 60m away where they can barely replicate a paper cut. In addition to being sharp, the blades of the swords are also hot - enough to leave minor scorch marks from a direct hit on both living targets and the terrain, but not enough to cauterise wounds. They also tend to make audible whirring noises while moving through the air, halfway between how a lightsaber and helicopter blades sound.

An opponent could technically grab the handle of one of the swords and try to use it against her as an incidental weapon, or as an actual weapon if they have mimic - although they're unlikely to find it an effective weapon. The swords may swing through the air quickly, but they are also very light. In addition, Viola would still have control over the weapon, so unless they're considerably stronger than her (their ATK against hers), she'd likely be able to make their attacks miss, or wrench the sword from their grip if she focuses.

*The speeds of the swords are relative to Viola's own movements. So if she was somehow moving 10m/s one direction, the swords would be unable to move faster than 20m/s in the opposite direction.[/spoiler]

New (and improved):

Aetherblades (1800) Requires: Ranged Proficiency, Ranged Control

Reference image (the shape and decor match Viola's swords, the colour does not):
[spoiler]

[/spoiler]
Viola can create up to four floating magical swords appear within 3m of her. Each sword takes 2 seconds of concentration to create, during which she can move. The swords are created one at a time, so it would take 8 seconds to make all 4. Creating the swords is lightly fatiguing. The swords have 0.9m long blades and 0.15m long handles, are straight and have a crossguard. While they have handles, Viola is not physically strong enough to use them so has to control them with her magic. Her Aetherblades are very versatile, and can be created with various different parameters (see below). The velocities of the swords are relative to Viola's own (non-rotational) movements. So if she was somehow moving 10m/s one direction, her speed would be added to the sword's if they move in that same direction, and subtracted if they move in the opposite. When turning, the swords pivot about the crossguard. Her swords are capable of spinning fast enough to potentially deflect/block normal bullets (400m/s speed) fired from ~3.66m (12ft) away or further, but she can't actually do that consistently - even with foresight. Under normal conditions, she wouldn't even be able to see her own swords move at this speed - just a blur. Receiving a vast boost to her reactions could allow her to block/deflect easily, however, but without a specialised move, she can't reflect something back at someone. Thrusts with her swords usually tend to be stronger, due to being harder to land than a swing and carrying a bit more force.

Viola can destroy the swords with 2 seconds of stationary concentration per sword. They also disintegrate if Viola falls unconscious, or if they are ever moved more than 60m away from her. She can also destroy one instantly by touching its handle. When her swords break, they shatter into polygons of their colour, which disintegrate harmlessly into the air. Her swords also have three main mechanical properties she can modify, with the fourth being a consequence of these. As well as a fifth, more subtle, property. She can choose each of these parameters upon creation, or recalibrate her sword by focusing on it for a fraction of a second and expending a small amount of energy, then leaving it inactive for a full second (which leaves it vulnerable to being broken, and unable to be used to attack). During this time, it will appear grey-white and translucent, brightly glowing its colour (not bright enough to blind anyone). This is the default appearance of a sword with no properties. This doesn't cost any energy or concentration, but the sword will stop moving relative to Viola (so if she moves further than 60m away from it, it will disintegrate). Recalibrating a sword also repairs it fully.

Durability. Viola can create swords on a varying scale of durability. A strong hit to the handle will always cause the sword to disperse into the air, but she can vary the strength of the blade. At its weakest, it will shatter after hitting an enemy or blocking an attack a single time. This varies up to being able to attack without breaking, but shattering if hit by any force, and slowly getting damaged over time, or simply being able to take a few good hits. Then, at its peak, her sword blades are basically indestructible. Only breaking if they get hit by a very strong attack (or by one of the reasons mentioned above). The more durable a sword is, the less translucent it is. The least durable option is not translucent enough to be hard to see, and will still glow.

Speed. Viola can adjust the speed of her sword handles (not impacting the rate they can spin). At their slowest, the handles can only move at 2m/s when not spinning or twisting quickly, and at a third of that if spinning and twisting quickly. At their fastest, Viola can move them up to 60m/s, and at a third of that speed when twisting or swinging quickly. This is all based around a property of the sword binding, so moving and spinning the slow ones at max speed takes just as much concentration as doing the same with the fast ones (at their max speed) - and is just as tiring. The faster a sword is, the bluer it and its glow become. The slowest sword option gives no colour change.

Strength. Viola's swords are naturally sharp and have a good cutting edge, but she can boost their damaging potential by adding additional magical energy around them. At their weakest, there is no extra energy and they damage opponents in a 'death by one thousand cuts' fashion, so she needs to harass someone to do the damage. This will build up quickly if they simply ignore them, however. Especially if Viola's ATK is much higher than their DEF. When at their strongest, the magic makes them very hot, damaging to even Viola upon physical contact. They're hot enough that, with enough time, Viola can pierce most reinforced walls and doors by stabbing and twisting the sword into them. Combat-wise, this will vastly increase the strength of her swords, but this will usually still be light-moderate damage (based on Viola's ATK and the target's DEF) with a lucky stab doing a bit more - if it hits. These damage descriptions assume the swords have the minimum mass. For increased mass, see further below. The heat tends to amplify how well they can cut, partially or completely incinerating things the sword swings into, but can lead to wounds cauterising. Only the blade gets hot, the crossguard and handle do not. The stronger a sword is, the redder it and its glow become. The weakest sword option gives no colour change.

With all of these traits maxed out, using all four swords at once feels like sprinting in terms of fatigue, so Viola cannot do it for very long without severely tiring herself out (30 seconds tops). This is based on controlling and moving them though, so having the swords exist and not using them to do anything doesn't cost any energy. Alternatively, Viola can have 'one and a half' of these traits maxed out (e.g. all of them at half strength, or one at full strength and one at half strength, or any other distribution) to reduce the fatigue cost down to her prefered 'light drain', with swinging and moving two swords at max speed only being about as tiring as swinging her arm to hit someone with a light weapon - so unless she goes really overboard she could use them like that for a whole fight easily. Viola could reduce the swords parameters further, but this is mostly pointless unless she's incredibly tired or intentionally holding back. The fatigue scales between the 'easy' and 'like running' levels linearly between the 1.5 and 3 traits maxed out. So if Viola capped out two traits and used the other as a 'dump stat', using them would probably feel like a light jog. A general list of configurations Viola prefers is listed at the end of this move. It is perfectly possible for each of Viola's swords to behave differently, and this can up the concentration requirements a bit. The more fatiguing a sword is to use, the blacker its colour and glow (capping out at dark red/blue/etc. never fully black, just dark). The easier it is to use, the more vibrant, and brighter, it and its glow is.

Viola can also increase the mass of her swords. This is done during reconfiguration (or during creation) but has no impact on the fatigue to use. In short, Viola trades out the swing speed of a sword for damage. By default, they can spin fast enough to block bullets. Viola can adjust the mass all the way up to the level of, 'can only spin in a full circle once per two seconds', or anywhere between the two. This makes the sword much easier to dodge, and much harder (or near impossible) to block with. But, in doing so, it vastly increases the blade's cutting power allowing even a weaker sword to deliver a good slash (but particularly if the blade was also made hot). Swinging a heavy sword at its maximum speed effectively requires the same concentration as swinging a light one at its maximum speed. In general, assuming every attack hits, a heavy sword can do more damage than a light one during the same time frame. Viola can choose to make all of her swords heavy, or just some of them, all by varying amounts. Increasing the mass of a sword also makes it harder to control, meaning if also made fast it will tend to have a larger turning circle, and there might be a bit of a lag before they get moving. Heavier swords don't have any visual change but leave little ripples in the air behind them (corresponding to their colour). Heavier swords leave larger ripples (these look similar to a heat haze over a fire, but with colours added).

The swords don't inherently require a lot of focus to move - no more than one has to focus to move an arm. But, in intense combat, using all four at once quickly and effectively does require her to stand still and dedicate all her concentration towards them. In a slower drawn-out fight, however, she can usually move and use/charge less demanding attacks while still controlling her swords - and using one or two swords at once doesn't notably inhibit her at all unless she is being very aggressive - or forced to put all her efforts towards defending from a fast attacker. Simple or repetitive actions are not mentally demanding, like simply telling a sword to move in a straight line or to spin (but this won't change the associated fatigue cost). Beyond 30m, wounds caused by the swords tend to be weaker, dropping off in strength until they reach 60m away where they can barely replicate a paper cut. They also tend to make audible whirring noises while moving through the air, halfway between how a lightsaber and helicopter blades sound.

Someone could technically grab the handle of one of the swords and try to use it against her as an incidental weapon, or as an actual weapon if they have mimic - although they're unlikely to find it an effective weapon. Enemies cannot, however, use the base telekinesis power to manipulate them (unless they have a move allowing them to manipulate others or their weapons). The swords are usually very light to hold (almost like a feather), so a normal swing as opposed to a magical one by Viola is not going to have the same potential. That said, if they get a heavy one, it will feel about as heavy as a sword of twice its size (made of steel), so it could be useful to some - but it'll still be incidental. In addition, Viola would still have control over the weapon, so unless they're considerably stronger than her (their ATK against hers), she'd likely be able to make their attacks miss, or wrench the sword from their grip if she focuses.

Viola's perfered setups (if not mentioned, assume a parameter is at 0%):
[spoiler]
Group Defensive (for group fights) - Bright Blue - Durability (100%) - Speed (50%)
Standard Defensive (for 1v1s) - Bright Purple - Durability (100%) - Speed (25%) - Strength (25%)
Agressive - Vibrant Red - Durability (100%) - Strength (50%)
Mixed - Bright Translucent Purple - Durability (50%) - Speed (50%) - Strength (50%) - Mass (25%)
General Grevious - Darker Purple - Durability (100%) - Strength (100%) - Mass (25%)
Anti-Tanks - Translucent Vibrant Red - Durability (50%) - Strength (100%) - Mass (100%)
Death Swords - Translucent Darker Purple - Speed (100%) - Strength (100%) - Mass (100%)

But if you think something fits a situation better, go wild!
[/spoiler]

Cost/summary:

300 - Base swords
300 - More swords (Varying concentration per number of swords used)
^original move stuff

300 - Variable Durability (Viola can vary how easy/hard her swords are to break, the handle is always a weak point though)
300 - Variable Speed (Viola can vary how fast her sword handles can zoom about relative to her, caps at 60m/s)
300 - Variable Strength (Viola can vary how strong her swords are)
^increasing all these parameters makes the swords more tiring to use.

300 - Mass Changing (Reduces spin/swing speed and makes them easier to dodge/harder to block with, but increases the damage, fatigue stays the same)

=1800 OM (+1200 OM from the original)

For the record, her original move would fit under 'Group Defensive' (see the spoiler). Also, can I edit the 'prefered setups' part without reapproval? It's just a footnote rather than part of the move.

---

I also have a relevant change to this (to clarify some stuff, as it uses her swords - while it's implied, I'd like to make it obvious). It's just to make it obvious it's independent from her sword move in terms of strengths.

Yo Dawg I Heard You Like Swords (300) Requires: Aetherblades, Ranged, Ranged Materialise

For four seconds of stationary charge, during which Viola has limited control over her swords but can't concentrate on any other moves or powers, Viola can cause all of her Aetherblades to shoot a new sword of the exact same size and appearance (~3ft blade) that travels in the direction they're pointing. These new swords travel at the speed of an arrow (~150mph or ~67m/s) and carry a lot of momentum behind them. After being fired, they disintegrate into polygons (which are the same colour as the sword was) 5 seconds later (regardless of whether they hit something or not). Each sword does moderate damage, so when put together this can be very strong. This move can be fairly tiring if used too often so Viola is unlikely to use it repetitively. Her swords glow during the charge period - bright enough to illuminate a dark room yet dim enough to look at. After shooting these swords, Viola's Aetherblades remain intact and she can continue to control and use them as usual. These new swords are always the same strength, regardless of how Viola's Aetherblades are calibrated. The only difference the sword variability has on this move is the colour.

---

The clarifications here are just saying that 'Borrowed Time' will utilise the sword modifications. 

Borrowed Time (300) Requires: Aetherblades, Time Manipulation, Foresight

When there comes a moment that Viola is in dire need, for a small amount of energy, she can instantly call upon her future self to aid her. When this happens, all of her Aetherblades start acting of their own accord for five seconds, allowing Viola a change to get out of harm's way or concentrate on other moves. They make full use of her foresight where possible. If any of her Aetherblades weren't summoned, they are all temporarily summoned at once for an increased fatigue cost, then shatter after the duration. If any break during this move, they are resummoned automatically one second later (again for an increased fatigue cost). While seemingly acting automatically, the swords fight as if Viola was dedicating her full attention to them. At the start of this move, the configuration of all of Viola's Aetherblades are instantly changed to better suit the situation. Any resummoned ones are made with whatever settings Viola may find useful. Afterwards, any remaining swords are kept and given to Viola to control normally again, keeping their new calibration. Utilising this move is moderately draining overall, and every second the swords fight like this is tiring. She is unlikely to use this more than once per fight.

To be able to use this again, Viola has to concentrate intently for five seconds, during which she has to stand still and can't use any moves or power (including non-passive ones that don't require concentration). During this time, she 'loans' her mind to her past self, although none of her experiences bleed over.

[Takanomiya Hijiri]

I'm hoping to get some changes approved for a couple of my Moves, since I don't think I really thought them out properly when I originally submitted them, and have made them a bit too weak.

The first one: 'Self-Controlled'.

Old:
[spoiler]

Self-Controlled (300)
If Hijiri is ever affected by a move which would cause him to act in a way he would not want (e.g. run away), he may choose to take two seconds to attempt to calm his thoughts. Doing so will hopefully allow him to retain control of his own mind, negating the effect which that move would have had on him. Using this requires his complete focus, so he cannot move at all whilst doing so.
The amount of effort this move requires is based on his and his opponent's TEC Stats, so whilst it won't usually be too difficult to negate the moves of those with TEC beneath his, fighting off the influence of someone with TEC equal to or slightly greater than his own will be harder, and will often leave a slight, lingering compulsion to act however they had attempted to force him to. If their TEC is at least twice Hijiri's, their power will be too great for him to counter, and this move will fail.

RP Fodder Note: This move can also be used to suppress unwanted emotions or thoughts which are not the result of actual moves (e.g. I may write him as taking a couple seconds to calm down after someone says/does something which would normally anger him).

[/spoiler]
New:
[spoiler]

Self-Controlled (600)
If Hijiri is ever affected by a Move which would cause him to act in a way he would not want (e.g. run away), he may choose to take a short time to attempt to calm his thoughts. Doing so will hopefully allow him to retain control of his own mind, negating the effect which that Move would have had on him. Using this requires his complete Focus, so he cannot move at all whilst doing so.

The amount of effort and time this Move requires is based on his and his opponent's TEC Stats, so whilst it won't usually be too difficult to negate the Moves of those with TEC beneath his, fighting off the influence of someone with TEC equal to or slightly greater than his own will be harder. The time taken to counter a Move is 2 seconds if the user has TEC equal to Hijiri's, and scales based on the difference. The change in time goes down to a minimum of 1 second if they have half his TEC and up to a maximum of 3 seconds if they have double his TEC. If they have above twice his TEC, though, this Move will always fail as soon as he activates it. Assuming that this Move is successful, the same Move which he just countered cannot be used on him again for the next 30 seconds.

RP Fodder Note: This Move can also be used to suppress unwanted emotions or thoughts which are not the result of actual Moves (e.g. I may write him as taking a second to calm down after someone says/does something which would normally anger him). Negating non-Move things will only ever require the 1 second charge.

Comments:
• With the original version, someone could potentially just use the same Move on him repeatedly to force him to keep using this (or give in and do what they wanted)... which is a little silly... and also just boring to write. I'd rather my moves not encourage people to use boring solutions simply because those are the most logical ways of winning, hence the 30 second block.
• I've increased the OM cost by an extra 300 to account for the variable charge time.

Also, it's worth noting that by using this Move (as it currently is) means he's basically stunning himself for 2 seconds... that's quite a long time to stand still if your opponent is nearby and armed with a deadly weapon. I feel like making it a little more powerful is totally justified, since in most situations using it basically leaves him completely vulnerable to attack.[/spoiler]


And the second: 'Personal Gravity Manipulation'.

Old:
[spoiler]

Personal Gravity Manipulation (1200)
(Flight, Physical Strength)
Hijiri is able to alter the strength of gravity's effect on his body (and his weapons, clothes, etc.) to the extent of being able to become as light as a feather, as heavy as a tonne of bricks, or anything in between. These effects come with all of the associated up- and downsides you would expect.

For example: being extremely light would allow him to stand on fragile objects, be carried along by gusts of wind, and attack quickly, but would drastically weaken his blows due to the low weight behind them, and would allow him to be knocked or thrown around effortlessly by others, whilst being extremely heavy would make him harder to knock over and his attacks noticeably stronger, but would also make every movement he made more difficult and more tiring, as well as much slower.

Making himself lighter is instantaneous, regardless of the change in weight, and costs no energy. Making himself heavier requires one second of charge-up per 10kg of weight added (so increasing his weight from 'feather-like' to the maximum value of one tonne would take 100 seconds). This move drains his energy rapidly whilst charging. He is capable of moving whilst charging this, and can even begin an attack, however actually hitting (or being hit by) an opponent will interrupt the charge, and as no weight is added until he intentionally ends the charging period, this means that all progress will be lost, and his spent energy will have gone to waste.

In addition, maintaining this move drains his energy slowly. Cancelling it returns him to his original weight instantly, but can only be done intentionally when he is within 10kg of his original weight; meaning that if he is beyond that range then he must use this move again to get back within it before he can actually end the move.
This move will also automatically cancel when he loses consciousness or dies.

Hijiri can choose to have this move affect only part (or parts) of his body (e.g. an arm & a leg) if he wishes it to. Concentrating the effect in specific areas (or just one area) makes those body parts heavier than they would be if the weight were evenly distributed throughout his body, but at the cost of making it harder to actually land attacks, since the uneven weight distribution will put him off-balance.
Note that whilst making his entire body weigh an amount far beyond his capacity to endure (e.g. a tonne) would kill him instantly, doing the same to an individual hand or foot, for example, would merely pin him to the ground, break every bone in the affected appendage and cause him to experience excruciating pain.

[/spoiler]
New:
[spoiler]

Personal Gravity Manipulation (1200)
(Flight, Physical Strength)
Hijiri is able to alter the strength of gravity's effect on his body (and his weapons, clothes, etc.) to the extent of being able to weigh anything from one gramme up to one tonne. These effects come with all of the associated up- and downsides you would expect.

For example: being extremely light would allow him to stand on fragile objects, be carried along by gusts of wind, and attack quickly, but would drastically weaken his blows due to the low weight behind them, and would allow him to be knocked or thrown around effortlessly by others, whilst being extremely heavy would make him harder to knock over and his attacks noticeably stronger, but would also make every movement he made more difficult, more tiring, and much slower.

Making himself lighter is instantaneous, regardless of the change in weight, and costs no energy. Making himself heavier requires one second of charge-up per 20kg of weight added (so increasing his weight from the minimum to the maximum value would take 50 seconds). This Move drains his energy rapidly whilst charging. He is capable of moving whilst charging this, and can even begin an attack, however actually hitting (or being hit by) an opponent will interrupt the charge, and as no weight is added until he intentionally ends the charging period, this means that all progress will be lost, and his spent energy will have gone to waste.

In addition, maintaining this Move drains his energy slowly. Cancelling it returns him to his original weight instantly, but can only be done intentionally when he is within 10kg of his original weight; meaning that if he is beyond that range then he must use this Move again to get back within it before he can actually end the Move.
This Move will also automatically cancel when he loses consciousness or dies.

Hijiri can choose to have this Move affect only part (or parts) of his body (e.g. an arm & a leg) if he wishes it to. Concentrating the effect in specific areas (or just one area) makes those body parts heavier than they would be if the weight were evenly distributed throughout his body, but at the cost of making it harder to actually land attacks, since the uneven weight distribution will put him off-balance.
Note 1: Whilst making his entire body weigh an amount far beyond his capacity to endure (e.g. a tonne) would kill him instantly, doing the same to an individual hand or foot, for example, would merely pin him to the ground, break every bone in the affected appendage and cause him to experience excruciating pain.
Note 2: The severity of the effects mentioned in Note 1 vary in relation to his ATK & DEF, so it is possible that with high enough levels in those Stats he could actually use his maximum weight without injuring himself. To do this would require at least 20 points in both ATK & DEF (ATK to have the strength to move, DEF to not be crushed under his own weight).

First off: a few of the changes to this Move are just rewordings of phrases I used, since I decided they didn't sound that good when I was reading through it earlier.

Secondly: I know I've already made improvements to this move once (when I combined two moves together to make it up), and at the time, I thought that was everything sorted and fine. After writing it a bit, though (albeit, only in my personal storyline; Hijiri still hasn't actually been in a graded fight yet), I feel like I may have messed up a bit when I wrote it. Here's why;

• Increasing his weight by 10 kg a second is way too slow. I just picked that number out of thin air the first time, without really giving it enough thought... it means that every time he wants to drop his weight low (which is pretty much always), he needs to charge up for almost seven seconds afterwards just to get back to normal... and considering that charging it tires him rapidly, using this move makes for a great way to exhaust himself. Especially since there's also another energy cost that he has to pay in order to keep the move active... as well as other drawbacks to being light, such as getting thrown about easily.
I love this move, in theory, but it has a lot of drawback.
Honestly, I don't think it's particularly fast even at 20 kg per second, since that means it'll still take 3.5 seconds of charging to get back to normal... but I don't wanna try and make it too powerful, so I'm just putting it at that.
• I added a second note at the end because the way I had it written before made it sound like no matter how durable he became, he'd still be severely damaged by using this move to its fullest capacity (on top of the other drawbacks, like having to severely tire himself to charge it long enough to actually get that heavy). In the Rules, 20 DEF is described as "Nearly impossible to kill through conventional methods", so I think it makes perfect sense that he'd be able to endure his body weighing so much if he ever somehow got that tanky.[/spoiler]

———

In addition to those, I also have a new Move I'm hoping to get approved:

[spoiler]

Graviton-Variance Super Jumping (600)
(Flight, ‘Personal Gravity Manipulation’)
Any character with this Move is prohibited from using the Flight Power, except as a prerequisite for Moves. Characters with Flight and this Move can still use Master Super Jumping as normal; that part is not disabled.

By manipulating the effect of gravity on his body to reduce his weight, Hijiri can boost the range of his jumps far beyond the normal limits of Master Super Jumping. At his best, with his weight lowered to its minimum value (see the Move ‘Personal Gravity Manipulation’ for more detail), he can jump up to four times farther than the normal limit for Master Super Jumping (240 metres). Unlike with true Flight, though, he has no way of changing direction in mid-air. Furthermore, the effects & Drawbacks of Personal Gravity Manipulation still apply whilst jumping in this fashion, so even a light breeze could blow him way off course, and being hit by an actual attack would have a far greater effect.

The energy cost of jumping this extra distance is, in itself no greater than the amount taken to jump the regular distance that would be covered using Super Jumping without Personal Gravity Manipulation (e.g. at his minimum weight, jumping 240 metres doesn't technically tire him more than jumping 60 metres at his base weight). That said, because he also has to pay the energy cost of maintaining Personal Gravity Manipulation, it does actually work out as being more tiring in practise.

The reasoning for this Move is basically that I only ever bought Flight because I needed it for Personal Gravity Manipulation: I haven't actually been using it to fly. Given that characters with the Flight Power can normally fly as high as they want, I don't think 240 metres should be out of the question, especially since Hijiri has the drawback of being unable to change direction in mid-air, as proper fliers can.

Also, I dunno if this should actually be variable or not, since the variation in the jumping distance comes directly from the use of Personal Gravity Manipulation, and I've already paid OM for the variable weights as part of that... that said, I'm fine with paying the extra if need be, so I've just priced it at 600 OM for now.
[/spoiler]

[Dane Regan]

[spoiler]Self-Controlled (600)
If Hijiri is ever affected by a Move which would cause him to act in a way he would not want (e.g. run away), he may choose to take a short time to attempt to calm his thoughts. Doing so will hopefully allow him to retain control of his own mind, negating the effect which that Move would have had on him. Using this requires his complete Focus, so he cannot move at all whilst doing so.

The amount of effort and time this Move requires is based on his and his opponent's TEC Stats, so whilst it won't usually be too difficult to negate the Moves of those with TEC beneath his, fighting off the influence of someone with TEC equal to or slightly greater than his own will be harder. The time taken to counter a Move is 2 seconds if the user has TEC equal to Hijiri's, and scales based on the difference. The change in time goes down to a minimum of 1 second if they have half his TEC and up to a maximum of 3 seconds if they have double his TEC. If they have above twice his TEC, though, this Move will always fail as soon as he activates it. Assuming that this Move is successful, the same Move which he just countered cannot be used on him again for the next 30 seconds.

RP Fodder Note: This Move can also be used to suppress unwanted emotions or thoughts which are not the result of actual Moves (e.g. I may write him as taking a second to calm down after someone says/does something which would normally anger him). Negating non-Move things will only ever require the 1 second charge.[/spoiler]

Firstly, this will only cost 300 OM (it does the same thing every time, and Hijiri can't 'choose' to get immune to some moves and not to others). Secondly, I'd prefer it if you clarified more how the effort varied. Like, what's the default level? Is it as tiring as doing a few reps? Or just something like 'moderately draining' or 'lightly draining'. Or is effort solely referring to the time change? I'd assume this is more tiring than your original version of the move, since it does more. Also, really, I think the strength of the move you're nullifying should have an impact on how tiring it is for Hijiri.

[spoiler]
Personal Gravity Manipulation (1200)
(Flight, Physical Strength)
Hijiri is able to alter the strength of gravity's effect on his body (and his weapons, clothes, etc.) to the extent of being able to weigh anything from one gramme up to one tonne. These effects come with all of the associated up- and downsides you would expect.

For example: being extremely light would allow him to stand on fragile objects, be carried along by gusts of wind, and attack quickly, but would drastically weaken his blows due to the low weight behind them, and would allow him to be knocked or thrown around effortlessly by others, whilst being extremely heavy would make him harder to knock over and his attacks noticeably stronger, but would also make every movement he made more difficult, more tiring, and much slower.

Making himself lighter is instantaneous, regardless of the change in weight, and costs no energy. Making himself heavier requires one second of charge-up per 20kg of weight added (so increasing his weight from the minimum to the maximum value would take 50 seconds). This Move drains his energy rapidly whilst charging. He is capable of moving whilst charging this, and can even begin an attack, however actually hitting (or being hit by) an opponent will interrupt the charge, and as no weight is added until he intentionally ends the charging period, this means that all progress will be lost, and his spent energy will have gone to waste.

In addition, maintaining this Move drains his energy slowly. Cancelling it returns him to his original weight instantly, but can only be done intentionally when he is within 10kg of his original weight; meaning that if he is beyond that range then he must use this Move again to get back within it before he can actually end the Move.
This Move will also automatically cancel when he loses consciousness or dies.

Hijiri can choose to have this Move affect only part (or parts) of his body (e.g. an arm & a leg) if he wishes it to. Concentrating the effect in specific areas (or just one area) makes those body parts heavier than they would be if the weight were evenly distributed throughout his body, but at the cost of making it harder to actually land attacks, since the uneven weight distribution will put him off-balance.
Note 1: Whilst making his entire body weigh an amount far beyond his capacity to endure (e.g. a tonne) would kill him instantly, doing the same to an individual hand or foot, for example, would merely pin him to the ground, break every bone in the affected appendage and cause him to experience excruciating pain.
Note 2: The severity of the effects mentioned in Note 1 vary in relation to his ATK & DEF, so it is possible that with high enough levels in those Stats he could actually use his maximum weight without injuring himself. To do this would require at least 20 points in both ATK & DEF (ATK to have the strength to move, DEF to not be crushed under his own weight).[/spoiler]

Seems fair. Approved. Are you sure you didn't want to also change "Cancelling it returns him to his original weight instantly, but can only be done intentionally when he is within 10kg of his original weight" to 20kg? It seems like you missed that.

[spoiler]
Graviton-Variance Super Jumping (600)
(Flight, ‘Personal Gravity Manipulation’)
Any character with this Move is prohibited from using the Flight Power, except as a prerequisite for Moves. Characters with Flight and this Move can still use Master Super Jumping as normal; that part is not disabled.

By manipulating the effect of gravity on his body to reduce his weight, Hijiri can boost the range of his jumps far beyond the normal limits of Master Super Jumping. At his best, with his weight lowered to its minimum value (see the Move ‘Personal Gravity Manipulation’ for more detail), he can jump up to four times farther than the normal limit for Master Super Jumping (240 metres). Unlike with true Flight, though, he has no way of changing direction in mid-air. Furthermore, the effects & Drawbacks of Personal Gravity Manipulation still apply whilst jumping in this fashion, so even a light breeze could blow him way off course, and being hit by an actual attack would have a far greater effect.

The energy cost of jumping this extra distance is, in itself no greater than the amount taken to jump the regular distance that would be covered using Super Jumping without Personal Gravity Manipulation (e.g. at his minimum weight, jumping 240 metres doesn't technically tire him more than jumping 60 metres at his base weight). That said, because he also has to pay the energy cost of maintaining Personal Gravity Manipulation, it does actually work out as being more tiring in practise.[/spoiler]

You don't need a move for this. If I understood your gravity manipulation correctly, it reduces the force of gravity on you (your weight), without changing your mass, and this is simply a natural consequence of that (unless you made the common mass-weight misconception). If you want to make it clearer you can do this, just fit it into that move (maybe add a spoiler at the bottom with various uses and suggestions of things he could use it for). You have flight, so I wouldn't see a problem with doing that.