The Omniverse Bar (Non-Canon)

[Karl Jak]

For a moment, the music in the bar died down as the doors swung open to reveal a man with perfect hair, a perfect suit, and the smile of an angel.

With a wink, Karl Jak sauntered into the bar and glanced at a few pieces of meat en route to the counter. Glancing around, he waved to a few faces he recognized.

"Miss me, my little lovelies?"

[Gildarts]

Gildarts recognized that voice anywhere. It was none other than..

"Karl. Fucking. Jak."

[Guu]

Guu glared at Sasuke for 5 minutes as the ninja was way too busy mugging to realize the passage of time. Reluctantly, she responded.

"What kind of work are you talking about?"

[Caira Ayryn]

Caira strolled up to the bar and took three shots of vodka before annoucing, "Anyone up for a game of darts?"

[Sasuke Uchiha]

Karl motherf*cking Jak.

That was his voice, it had to be. Sasuke knew it well.

Fuck.

Sasuke had to get out of here and quick. There was no way he was going to spend a night in a bar with a drunken Karl Jak, "fangirling" over Sasuke and his winning of Dante's Abyss.

"What kind of work are you talking about." Guu questioned the young man.

"You! Little girl! You have to help me! I gotta get out of here! Karl Jak can not see me!" Sasuke snapped as he pried open the women's restroom door, trying to get an eye on the former Host.

[Guu]

"Alright, easy." She said casually.

She then ate Sasuke alive. With the ninja in her stomach, she casually walked out of the bathroom and out the front door. Once outside and out of sight, she coughed him up, leaving him face down and unharmed on the concrete.

"Done." She said, looking boredly victorious. "How much I'm paid?"

[Sasuke Uchiha]

After getting EATEN A F*CKING LIVE... Sasuke found his feet and discarded the Guu saliva covered purple suit for his more casual wear.

"How much I'm paid" Guu asked.

Sasuke eyed the fiendish child and smirked, "Very well, you have done me a great service after wall."

The ninja began summoning fourth a token amount of OM and handed the globe over, "Just don't let me find out you put this in Deadpool's g-string, deal?"

And with that, the youth kicked the bar doors back open, rendering Guu's mission a failure instantly, "Karl, mother f*cking Jak! Where are you, you sexy mother f*cker, you!"

[Simon]

No sooner had the door finally drifted to a close behind the enthusiastic ninja than were they promptly kicked open again. Staggering past the former Karl Jak lookalike, the man many knew as Tony "Dante" Redgrave dragged himself into the bar, red coat draped over his shoulder and blood running down his toned abdominals.

It soon became apparent why, exactly, he was staggering, as the stylish mercenary carried the burden of three scythes lodged in different parts of his body; there was even still a lesser reaper clinging to one of them, moaning with deathly intent!

"...'sup," Tony hailed to everyone, those knowing him being completely unfazed by the demonic remnants clinging to the man. The devil hunter ever-so-casually dragged himself and his unwilling demon accomplice to the bar, where he called out, "Jack Daniels! Just gimme the whole bottle, don't bother with a glass or anything."

[Magus]

Suddenly, a loud, thumping beat thundered through the bar, and smoke machines unseen by the patrons began flooding the room in a thick, sensual fog, when, finally, inevitably, Sexy Magus burst through the doors to the highly exclusive club.

Girls - and boys; Sexy Magus never judged - from all over the bar swooned and cheered as he strode in, seemingly gliding over the floor as if powered by his hypnotically gyrating hips.

Clad in nothing but a pair of tight, purple leather pants and shiny suede boots, Sexy Magus ran his finger down Dante's chest before sidling up next to Trixie and putting his muscular arm around her.

He ordered a drink - appletini, of course - and bobbed along to the music, sure to toss his elegant, blue locks over his shoulder to the thrills of the crowd.

[Guu]

Guu shook her head at all the random people who keep kicking the door down. She figured it a hinderance and made sure to eat the door on her way back in, leaving an empty passageway.

Bored, and completely forgetting her conflict with Gildarts, she walked up to Caira and said:

"I challenge you to darts. You go first."

[Simon]

"Ho-ly shit," the devil hunter cussed heartily in witness of the of the familiar handsome figure having strode into the room. Even the demon hanging at Dante's ankles seemed mysteriously enchanted by the hottest Fiendlord in existence.

"Frickin'... Magus? Oh, excuse me, 'Sexy Magus', isn't it?" Dante held a hand up in witness, continuing with, "Man, lemme just say, you're a sight for sore eyes. I'd ask what you've been doing all this time, since we last got together, but I can already guess the answer."

One of the bar-tending imps, taking care not to bump into the idol of sexiness, instead goose-stepped onto the lesser reaper and served Dante the bottle of alcohol. The devil hunter quickly swiped up the drink, popped open the cap, and chugged down a large swig of the stuff, breathing out a large sigh as the bottle left his lips.

"Feels good, huh?" Dante asked, almost mockingly, to the humiliated demon at his ankles. It offered a tortured groan in response. Shaking his head with a chuckle, Dante took another sip of booze and leaned on the bar to enjoy the show.

[Caira Ayryn]

Gildarts was lost amung the sweep of haze that came along with Sexy Magus's "atmosphere."

Caira meanwhile, seemed jubilant at gaining a partner to play. Politely she let the young girl go first, however, Caira had a trick up her sleeve, it wasn't that she was a master at darts- or cheating, but her trick was in the flick of her wrist.

[Guu]

With Caira letting Guu take plate, she stepped up, lining up to the dart board. Her sense gave her a perfect image of the surrounding area, and her high tec gave her the right calculations to get the most accurate throw possible.

The first dart barely made the mark, as she was still adjusting. The second one landed directly in the middle. The third split the second one in half. Suddenly, a few British folk started gasping in shock at this impossible achievement.

"It split the dart in twine!" Said one man in an obviously fake accent.

The fourth one hit the man that said that. The fifth dart Guu held onto as it's the only weapon she has against the British.

[Ruby Rose]

I know I'm on hiatus, but I couldn't help myself XD
ALSO, WHADDYA MEAN NO POLE DANCING?!

The bar doors swung open, but nothing swept through dramatically, no hulking figure waltzed in... only a scarce amount of rose petals drifted to the wooden floor. As the doors shut with a resounding slam, a young girl in a red cloak appeared as if from thin air, surrounded by a shower of petals.

Casually, without throwing a look to anyone nearby, she strode towards the back of the bar; towards the kegs. "I'm in the Omniverse now... there's no one to tell me off for doin' this..." She told herself, almost fearfully as she snatched a glass off of the counter. She halted at the wooden cylinders and hung the glass underneath one of the taps, before letting the liquid pour down, filling the glass with a bubbly golden liquid.

"Bottoms up!" She shouted, before proceeding to chug the alcohol.

Because non-canon is fun XD

[Demetri Malius]

Within minutes, the bar seemed to plunge into disorganized chaos. It was enough to make Demetri smirk a little. It was the perfect environment to start seeing what little trinkets he could slip away while everyone was distracted.

Pretending to be a slobbering drunk, Demetri wandered around the tavern, keeping an eye out for small belongings to slip into his satchel. The suspicious pink haired girl and another woman had started playing darts with another girl. The pink haired one seemed to have aggravated some foreigners,so this was his perfect chance. With a quick stumble, he bumped the table between them, sending a few dart off the end.

Leaning over the table, the thief swiped up the dart with his chain, apologizing profusely for his clumsiness,the two glancing at him while keeping an eye on the angry foreigners, before the thief attempted to head off in search of more loot.

[Marcus Wright]

Luger raised a eyebrow as a red cloacked girl slammed the door in and suddenly chugged a whole glass of beer off the counter "Hey, girl... yeah... You're drunk...

The shadow marshall gave a small shrug and sighed, going back to drink her choice drink.

[The Rogue]

Connor uses his trench coat as a makeshift blanket and falls asleep in the booth

[Rubick]

Rubick looked up from his drink, noting at first the red-clad demon hunter enter the bar. The ensemble of bloody, naked skin REALLY worked well with the coat he had, very avant-garde to be honest. He almost felt bad- there was no way in hell Rubick would ever pull off the half-dead barbarically powerful warrior look, his complexion just didn't seem to suit it.

"Excuse me!" he said to Dante as he drunkenly jerked out one of the scythes from his body unceremoniously, patching up the gaping wound with an oversized band-aid. They just looked so cool...he had to have one. "Sorry, research purposes, I'm afra-..."

It was at this point that the sexiest Magus he had ever seen entered the bar. No amount of experience with Invoker yaoi could prepare him for this.

He swooned and fell backwards onto the bar, falling into an imp carrying drinks to the back, loudly proclaiming:

"ALL HAIL THE GRANDEREST MAGUS"

[The Rogue]

"What the hell, is with all of the YELLING!" Connor says from his corner

[Caira Ayryn]

Caira was fascinated by the accent, and took another shot. "That sounds strange... Little woman, how did you do that?"