Official Move Approval IV

[Carmelita]

Carmelita

[spoiler]

Carmelita

Plastiglex Breaching Charge: How many of these does she have on-hand at a time?

For the rest, you can only have 5 moves pre-approved at one time. Let me know which ones you want me to look at and I’ll dig in.

Plastiglex Breaching Charge: One on her at any time. They're heavy.

As for the rest, I'd like to get pre-approved the STAPLED, the Rod, the Rocket and the Bubble. That makes five total. I'm getting some ready for the end of DA.

Thank you!

Approved!

Steel-Titanium Anti-Personnel Lockdown Electric Device - STAPLED (Stealth, Debuff) (300)
The Steel-Titanium Anti-Personnel Lockdown Emergency Device, or STAPLED is a device designed by Bentley for Carmelita. A small metal disk five inches in diameter, it can be dropped onto the floor during stealth mode without disrupting it like a direct attack would. When pressure is applied to the upper surface, the STAPLED erupts with bands of Steel-Titanium and entangles the thing that depressed it, provided the bulk of the target is less than eight feet tall and three feet in radius.
After the bands of Steel Titanium deploy, a light electric current passes through the bands, lightly frying electrical circuitry and attempting to shock the target into submission.
Obviously, a target tangled in the STAPLED is restrained as long as the physical bonds hold, reducing their effective speed until they break free or slip out of the bonds through other means.
To break free from the STAPLED using brute force requires a high strength or for the base to be damaged by a few decent hits. The device can be deactivated manually by toggling a switch on the underside. Once a device has been deactivated, it is functionally useless for anything beyond scrap.
Carmelita carries three of these on her at any one time, and only one can be deployed at a time. Due to how they bypass the stealth field disruption, only one can be deployed each time Carmelita engages her stealth cloak.

Is this usable with other moves?

Rod of Fish and Thunder (Physical Proficiency, Ranged Proficiency, Debuff, Utility) (900)
The Rod of Fish and Thunder is a small baton that can be used both in melee as a shock baton, at range as a taser and also as a trap.
The baton is a foot long and has a cap at one end that encompasses the top three inches. There are four buttons on the handle.
The first turns the Rod of Fish and Thunder on, and electrifies the cap, allowing for the baton to be used in close quarters fighting. The shock from the baton fluctuates so that it disorientates those hit by the weapon, causing them moments of confusion over the next ten seconds that decreases their effective technique (TEC) for the duration.
The second releases the cap off the end of the baton, transforming it into a piton. The piton is shaped so as not to puncture the skin, and trails behind it a twenty metre wire about five millimetres thick. This wire is vulnerable to being cut and prone to being broken under any decent attack. This mode allows the Rod of Fish and Thunder to be used at range, wrapping an opponent in the wire like a whip and shocking them with the same effects as the melee shocks. The twenty metre wire is more vulnerable but covers a larger area of the target, causing a much more noticeable drop in effective technique during the duration of shocking.
The third button launches the piton much further, up to a hundred metres in range. Whilst impractical for combat, the piton functions perfectly well as a grapple hook and the hundred metre wire is a non-conductive carbon-fibre composite. Fastening the baton to a secure place produces a wire strong enough to abseil, rappel or slide along, allowing for access to difficult to reach areas.
The fourth button magnetically returns the piton and returns it to cap function, rethreads the wires if broken and deactivates the shock function.

Does this do damage or just stun? How many uses does this have, or how draining is it on her stamina? Can she use other moves concurrently? Also, are you sure you want a 65 foot whip? That’ll be pretty unwieldy in combat.

Demolitions Firework (Tier 1 Super Move, Attack, Ranged, Area Attack) (1200[600+600])
Carmelita takes out six pieces from her belt pouches and assembles them into a large, bamboo firework akin to those used by the Panda King. Once assembled, the bamboo firework can be fired at any target with a clear trajectory within two kilometres. The bamboo firework travels along the arc at a velocity of forty metres per second, and spouts out huge sparks. Upon detonation, either by being shot or upon impact, the firework creates a three metre spherical explosion. This explosion will collapse buildings if a structural wall was within the blast radius, and will do considerable damage to any character caught in the blast radius.
Assembling two pieces takes a second, and Carmelita requires both hands to assemble the firework. This means that to assemble the firework takes five one second intervals in which Carmelita must have her hands free, and to launch the rocket requires an additional second to aim the trajectory. If the firework is shot while it is still in Carmelita’s hands, the move is cancelled and Carmelita takes minor burn damage.

The pricing on this confuses me. I only see a single use, so why is it priced 1200? As for the move itself, I’d ask that you decrease the range. Being able to hit people 2 kilometers away from you reliably with a Super Move is a little excessive.

Dreamtime Bubble (Tier 1 Super Move, Defensive, Area Shield) (1000[400+600])
Carmelita draws on her recollection of Murray’s dreamtime philosophy and creates a pink bubble around herself and anyone huddled up to her to deflect damage she would otherwise take.
While using the Dreamtime Bubble, Carmelita is suspended in the centre of a two metre sphere of pink energy, which can be knocked around and rolled about by outside forces.
Activating the Dreamtime Bubble takes a three second period. From the moment it is activated Carmelita must keep her eyes closed to keep the Bubble up and anyone within the Bubble cannot receive any non-visual outside stimulus. Upon opening her eyes, Carmelita has three seconds to roll the ball around herself before it pops. If there are additional characters within the ball, be they NPCs, Assists or PCs, they may roll the Dreamtime Bubble around like a hamster ball.

Similar to the above, the pricing confuses me here. It would only run you 600. Other than that, you’re approved.

[/spoiler]

Firstly, thank you for approving the Dreamtime Bubble and the Plastiglex Breaching Charge.

Secondly, I apologise for the odd costing. When writing the moves up I included the cost of the requisite powers that I don't have. The second number is the actual costing.

On to the moves:

The STAPLED interacts with Carmelita's other moves in two ways. Firstly, it does electrical damage (which can sustain her shock pistol debuffs) and secondly it holds opponents in place to be hit.

The Rod of Fish and Thunder does damage in both fighting modes. The 'rod' does more damage, due to doing minor physical damage. Both of the modes should have an addendum of: "All electrical damage done by the Rod of Fish and Thunder, no matter the attack, is damage to the nervous system or equivalent. This damage is non-permanent and fades without the need for healing within an hour." The Rod itself has a ten second battery charge for its electricity. To recharge, it needs to be 'reset' for ten seconds. The 'whip' is like a fishing line, being cast out at opponents and twirled round them once they're caught (hence the title of the move).

Demolitions Firework's range could be decreased to five hundred meters, but as it stands the Demolitions Firework travels at forty meters a second (travel time for 2km is fifty seconds) and is visible due to the bright sparks and horrendous noise. At its max range, the only things that are going to be hit are buildings and immobilized foes, so 'reliably' hitting at that range is unlikely. If you think the range should still be reduced, I will do so, but I could instead add a clarification of the above.

[Eda]

Eda

I am going to try here to iron out a move or two for later purchase

Tier 1 super move : 

Love Love Magic cannon ( 600 om ) ( Requires ranged proficiency ) ( Requires homing Proficiency ) 

Description : A huge cannon ball of magical energy , while it might look silly being a bright pink hue and shaped like a heart . Its effects are devastating . This attack can punch holes in the body of its target , however it has some heavy drawbacks for its power 

Casting speed : Slow can take 3 - 5 minutes to build up
Attack will home in and chase target until either target is hit or attack is lost to hitting a large target - I.e hitting a building or another target 
Can be charged while moving 
Can not be fired while moving 
Can not be aimed while moving
Requires tremendous concentration to cast , just as much to fire 
Distance : Point blank to fifty feet
Travel speed of attack : Near glacial - this attack is huge but terribly slow
Size : A heart shaped cannon ball of nearly 100 ft in diameter
Stamina drain : Large - Can exhaust the caster ~ will become Moderate as character gains levels  
Damage : High - This can flatten its target , but is a last resort for the young mage

You don’t need to make the cast time so long. 30 seconds is probably the maximum you’d need for something like this. I want to mention though that having a 100 ft beam is going to give you extremely diluted damage. The larger it is, the less damage it does to things it hits. As for the homing, normally you’d need some kind of time limit or something to offset the edge you get from homing but being that it’s a Super and moves so slowly I can let that go. 

~ Eda has a penchant for firing it point blank , I will keep the longer charge time because of the damage it can do if it connects . 
~ Forgot to add in that if used at point blank it can hurt her pretty terribly also 

Other than that is the move ok or do I need to edit it more 

Tier 1 super move : 

Love Love Thousand Broken Hearts : ( Requires ranged Proficiency ) ( Requires Area attack Proficiency ) ( Requires ranged materialize Proficiency )

A rain of pink heart shaped projectiles , made to counter large mobs of enemies 

Can be charged while moving 
Can not be fired while moving 
Can not be aimed while moving
Casting speed : Fast - 15 to 30 seconds 
Damage : Weak - similar to her magic blast 
Travel speed : Fast - Sky to ground impact in 15 seconds
Travel distance : Far

What’s the size on the projectiles? For travel speed, can you give me a more precise number? Depending on where in the sky you’re referring to, that number can be a pretty wide range. Around how many projectiles are there, or how long does this last and how fast do they spawn? Does this require concentration to maintain?

~ Edited second move to fix the issues 

[Erik Vrell]

Horror Nova (Requires Ranged Proficiency, Area Attack Proficiency) (300)

Erik collects his power for three seconds before throwing back his head and releasing a burst of violet energy. Any enemies caught in the blast will start to hallucinate a variety of horrors, dependant on the fears of the affected foe, as long as Erik maintains the nova. The hallucinations will continue to grow more vivid as long as enemies remain in the area of effect. The rate of which they grow realistic is dependant on the foe's TEC and their distance from Erik. The nova will be maintained as long as Erik concentrates. The hallucinations will quickly dissipate after the affected parties leave the nova. The hallucinations are just that: hallucinations. They cannot hurt or otherwise touch enemies, so a smart foe can bypass them entirely. This move is quite tiring to maintain. The nova has a radius of 5 metres.
At its maximum, the hallucinations look real, with almost no way to distinguish then from real monsters (expect for the fact that they can't touch you). Against an enemy with 1 TEC, for example, being right next to Erik would cause the hallucinations to become life like after 5-10 seconds, but if hey were at the edge it would take up to a minute. The fear effect is more or less a distraction. Someone could RP being frozen with fear, but if they don't want that it'll be little more than a scary distraction. Erik can move his arms, albeit slowly, while channeling the nova, but can't walk. Erik requires a moderate amount of concentration to sustain the nova, and also cannot use any other moves, with an exception for Mageslayer, but he loses a lot of fighting skill while channeling.

[Ebony]

Merely looking for a simple, 300 O.M. Katana, ,no frills, nothing special, just a simple sword that requires physical proficiency.

[Daniel]

Merely looking for a simple, 300 O.M. Katana, ,no frills, nothing special, just a simple sword that requires physical proficiency.

Then write up the move and submit it for approval. This isn't a place to request a move be made for you.

[Ebony]

Katana-300 O.M.
         It is just a simple katana, nothing special, which forms upon the wish of the user. The user does not have to do anything except use the weapon as you usually would a blade, nor does it do anything else special.

[James Knight]

Dark Storm Arts - Lightning- Area Attack, Debuff, Ranged, Ranged Materialize, Remote Control and Homing (300 OM)
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Gathering dark magic to the tip of his horn,  King Sombra will say. “So, you want to play with the thunder? How about a taste of the lightning?” Once he says that, he’ll create about 4 bolts of lightning made out of dark magic that he can control. Each of these packs the intensity of ten tasers. Suffice it to say they can immobilize an opponent QUITE well. They can also be remote controlled by him, and home in an opponent. This move is very taxing, requiring that he charge it for 8 seconds. The usage of the move severely depletes his energy reserves. Furthermore, it has a four second cool down. Another problem with this move is that it requires most of his concentration, while using it he can’t normally perform other moves. Distracting him during this move is possible, but would cause him to suffer moderate damage due to the electricity he’s playing with. These are moderately strong,  and travel at the speed of an arrow.. While they are slow moving the bolts will certainly at least damage if not outright fry the nervous system of whoever they hit. Suffice it to say, you really don't want to get hit by one. 

[Trixie]

Katana-300 O.M.
         It is just a simple katana, nothing special, which forms upon the wish of the user. The user does not have to do anything except use the weapon as you usually would a blade, nor does it do anything else special.

Gonna help you out here.

Katana - 300 OM

This katana is forged of rolled carbon steel and sharpened to a razors edge. The tang is wrapped in black leather and laced with an intricate white thread. Presently the weapon is summoned only when the user wishes it into existence for use. A simple bushido drawing motion materializes the weapon out of pure omnilium. Weighing about 1.5 kilograms the weapon is light and fluid in its motion. The finely forged blade is 73 centimeters in length with a line of blackened steel running along the cutting edge. The weapon is a basic bladed weapon and is capable of cutting through anything a common 14th-century blade could.

[Ebony]

Katana-300 O.M.
         It is just a simple katana, nothing special, which forms upon the wish of the user. The user does not have to do anything except use the weapon as you usually would a blade, nor does it do anything else special.

Gonna help you out here.

Katana - 300 OM

This katana is forged of rolled carbon steel and sharpened to a razors edge. The tang is wrapped in black leather and laced with an intricate white thread. Presently the weapon is summoned only when the user wishes it into existence for use. A simple bushido drawing motion materializes the weapon out of pure omnilium. Weighing about 1.5 kilograms the weapon is light and fluid in its motion. The finely forged blade is 73 centimeters in length with a line of blackened steel running along the cutting edge. The weapon is a basic bladed weapon and is capable of cutting through anything a common 14th-century blade could.

Exactly. Thank you for the help, Trixie

[Ebony]

Carmelita

[spoiler]

Carmelita

Plastiglex Breaching Charge: How many of these does she have on-hand at a time?

For the rest, you can only have 5 moves pre-approved at one time. Let me know which ones you want me to look at and I’ll dig in.

Plastiglex Breaching Charge: One on her at any time. They're heavy.

As for the rest, I'd like to get pre-approved the STAPLED, the Rod, the Rocket and the Bubble. That makes five total. I'm getting some ready for the end of DA.

Thank you!

Approved!

Steel-Titanium Anti-Personnel Lockdown Electric Device - STAPLED (Stealth, Debuff) (300)
The Steel-Titanium Anti-Personnel Lockdown Emergency Device, or STAPLED is a device designed by Bentley for Carmelita. A small metal disk five inches in diameter, it can be dropped onto the floor during stealth mode without disrupting it like a direct attack would. When pressure is applied to the upper surface, the STAPLED erupts with bands of Steel-Titanium and entangles the thing that depressed it, provided the bulk of the target is less than eight feet tall and three feet in radius.
After the bands of Steel Titanium deploy, a light electric current passes through the bands, lightly frying electrical circuitry and attempting to shock the target into submission.
Obviously, a target tangled in the STAPLED is restrained as long as the physical bonds hold, reducing their effective speed until they break free or slip out of the bonds through other means.
To break free from the STAPLED using brute force requires a high strength or for the base to be damaged by a few decent hits. The device can be deactivated manually by toggling a switch on the underside. Once a device has been deactivated, it is functionally useless for anything beyond scrap.
Carmelita carries three of these on her at any one time, and only one can be deployed at a time. Due to how they bypass the stealth field disruption, only one can be deployed each time Carmelita engages her stealth cloak.

Is this usable with other moves?

Rod of Fish and Thunder (Physical Proficiency, Ranged Proficiency, Debuff, Utility) (900)
The Rod of Fish and Thunder is a small baton that can be used both in melee as a shock baton, at range as a taser and also as a trap.
The baton is a foot long and has a cap at one end that encompasses the top three inches. There are four buttons on the handle.
The first turns the Rod of Fish and Thunder on, and electrifies the cap, allowing for the baton to be used in close quarters fighting. The shock from the baton fluctuates so that it disorientates those hit by the weapon, causing them moments of confusion over the next ten seconds that decreases their effective technique (TEC) for the duration.
The second releases the cap off the end of the baton, transforming it into a piton. The piton is shaped so as not to puncture the skin, and trails behind it a twenty metre wire about five millimetres thick. This wire is vulnerable to being cut and prone to being broken under any decent attack. This mode allows the Rod of Fish and Thunder to be used at range, wrapping an opponent in the wire like a whip and shocking them with the same effects as the melee shocks. The twenty metre wire is more vulnerable but covers a larger area of the target, causing a much more noticeable drop in effective technique during the duration of shocking.
The third button launches the piton much further, up to a hundred metres in range. Whilst impractical for combat, the piton functions perfectly well as a grapple hook and the hundred metre wire is a non-conductive carbon-fibre composite. Fastening the baton to a secure place produces a wire strong enough to abseil, rappel or slide along, allowing for access to difficult to reach areas.
The fourth button magnetically returns the piton and returns it to cap function, rethreads the wires if broken and deactivates the shock function.

Does this do damage or just stun? How many uses does this have, or how draining is it on her stamina? Can she use other moves concurrently? Also, are you sure you want a 65 foot whip? That’ll be pretty unwieldy in combat.

Demolitions Firework (Tier 1 Super Move, Attack, Ranged, Area Attack) (1200[600+600])
Carmelita takes out six pieces from her belt pouches and assembles them into a large, bamboo firework akin to those used by the Panda King. Once assembled, the bamboo firework can be fired at any target with a clear trajectory within two kilometres. The bamboo firework travels along the arc at a velocity of forty metres per second, and spouts out huge sparks. Upon detonation, either by being shot or upon impact, the firework creates a three metre spherical explosion. This explosion will collapse buildings if a structural wall was within the blast radius, and will do considerable damage to any character caught in the blast radius.
Assembling two pieces takes a second, and Carmelita requires both hands to assemble the firework. This means that to assemble the firework takes five one second intervals in which Carmelita must have her hands free, and to launch the rocket requires an additional second to aim the trajectory. If the firework is shot while it is still in Carmelita’s hands, the move is cancelled and Carmelita takes minor burn damage.

The pricing on this confuses me. I only see a single use, so why is it priced 1200? As for the move itself, I’d ask that you decrease the range. Being able to hit people 2 kilometers away from you reliably with a Super Move is a little excessive.

Dreamtime Bubble (Tier 1 Super Move, Defensive, Area Shield) (1000[400+600])
Carmelita draws on her recollection of Murray’s dreamtime philosophy and creates a pink bubble around herself and anyone huddled up to her to deflect damage she would otherwise take.
While using the Dreamtime Bubble, Carmelita is suspended in the centre of a two metre sphere of pink energy, which can be knocked around and rolled about by outside forces.
Activating the Dreamtime Bubble takes a three second period. From the moment it is activated Carmelita must keep her eyes closed to keep the Bubble up and anyone within the Bubble cannot receive any non-visual outside stimulus. Upon opening her eyes, Carmelita has three seconds to roll the ball around herself before it pops. If there are additional characters within the ball, be they NPCs, Assists or PCs, they may roll the Dreamtime Bubble around like a hamster ball.

Similar to the above, the pricing confuses me here. It would only run you 600. Other than that, you’re approved.

[/spoiler]

Trixie
[spoiler]

Trixie

• What’s the cast speed on these? More or less instant, or is there a charge time?
  
• Are we going with the range of telekinesis or something smaller? Are foes farther from Trixie affected differently than those very near?
  
• Can these be used while moving?
  
• How much concentration does it take to maintain Crush and Lift?
  
• How draining are Crush and Pulse?
  
• Is there a duration on Crush and Lift, or is it just until concentration breaks or she lets go?
  
• Can these be used with other moves?
  

• Instant, except for Crush. No charge time and they can't be charged in that same regard. 
  
• Range of Telekinesis which also means that the drawbacks of Telekinesis apply as well. At 50% range the strength of the move begins to drop off drastically. So right now 30 meters. 
  
• Lift, only with extreme physical stress. Pulse and Crush are more or less effortless to do while moving, but like anything, doing them in combat would tax her more.
  
• Lift is the most taxing out of the 3 like described and it would vary on what she's lifting. For the sake of argument, lifting a prime would definitely require her not to be interrupted. Manipulating organic life is harder than non-organic objects. So if she were hit, assuming she didn't block it, she'd lose concentration and drop the person. It's more utility than offense or defense.  Crush is targeted to small areas so it's easier to maintain, but she needs to keep the connection using one of her hands which ultimately sacrifices an appendage just to keep it going. On primes Crush has to build slowly to it's full pressure. 
  
• Crush and Pulse share the same drain. Used repeatedly in quick succession would rapidly drain Trixie of the stamina to fight. It can be done, but it's going to leave her at a disadvantage for a while. 
  
• Lift has no duration. As long as she can concentrate enough it'll work. Crush, however, for the sake of things, let's say that it's crushing effect ends after 4 seconds and needs to be reapplied. SWTOR has a similar move I can get behind. It isn't a DoT either. At the end of the 4 seconds all of the crushing damage occurs at once. 
  
• I'm going to say yes for now, because the only one I see her using in conjuction is Close Quarters Shielding. The rest of my moves wouldn't allow her to do so/or are literally just weapons that she uses and has access to. 
  

Whatever you price this at is fine.

Sounds good to me. Work those into the move description and I’ll approve it. Pricing will be 1200, with  grabbing a projectile out of the air constituting it’s own cost since that sorta makes it a block/parry in a way.
[/spoiler]

Colonel
[spoiler]

Colonel
Body Burn: How draining is this on Colonel’s stamina?

Elemental Swords: How long does the debuff on Elec Sword last?

Ah, yes. Knew I was forgetting a few details. Changes be bolded.

Body Burn -- 300 OM (Requires: Area Attack Proficiency)
Colonel briefly gathers a charge of energy across his entire body, marked by a slowly building aura of shimmering heat rolling off of himself. After a six second buildup, during which time Colonel can move but not execute any other techniques or moves aside from the use of his basic sword or buster, the charge is ready to be released, and can be held for up to thirty seconds without being discharged, at which point it will dissipate to prevent gross overheating and internal damage. The charge cannot be interrupted or broken, but sufficient damage can stall it momentarily while he recovers his bearings. When the charge is released, it takes roughly half a second to do so, and produces a burst of flame in all directions, reaching out to approximately three meters in a quick, explosive wave. A wave of oppressive, suffocating heat reaches outward for another two meters, making the air shimmer and waver and distorting vision within the effected area. The burst of flame lingers for three seconds before fading, and the shimmering heat haze remains for another ten seconds, offering an effective partial obscuring tactic. The energy drain from using this move isn't greatly exhausting on its own, but repeated usage of it is a quick way to rapidly wear down energy reserves.


Elemental Sword -- 1500 OM -- (Requires: Physical Strength, Ranged Proficiency, Debuff Proficiency)
Colonel's saber briefly switches off, igniting into a blade of different properties. Switching to any other form of blade, including back to the default Colonel Saber, takes slightly less than one second, and doesn't require great focus so can be effectively done on the fly, even in the midst of a combination attack with his sword.
-- Fire Sword: Colonel's blade ignites into a pillar of intense flame. The actual blows from this sword are somewhat less powerful, not biting as deeply as a standard blade, but tend to leave viciously burning, debilitating wounds, causing things it strikes to catch fire and blaze fiercely for several seconds, based on the difference between the target's DEF and Colonel's ATK.
-- Elec Sword: Colonel's blade erupts into a sparking, crackling mass of electricity. The strikes of this weapon leave targets struck by it numb and sluggish for a few seconds, pending difference between their DEF and Colonel's ATK, and sparks from it will jump a short distance to leave glancing blows on targets even if they manage to avoid or deflect the actual blade. It is not a very powerful weapon on its own, but is very useful for hampering and keeping foes on edge.
-- Aqua Sword: Colonel's blade streams forth into an oscillating blade of liquid. This weapon bends and twists, acting almost like a whip instead of a sword, and can lash and curl around attempts to deflect it, making it hard to avoid entirely. Its primary purpose is that it can stretch and extend like the liquid mass it is, extending Colonel's range of attack with it to nearly four meters.
-- Air Sword: Colonel's sword blasts out into an almost transparent mass of wind. This form of the sword is incredibly light and quick to strike, having virtually no weight to it. It thus has almost no physical impact, inflicting only superficial wounds, but every strike produces a short, fierce blast of intense wind and air, threatening to force targets off balance or knock them stumbling back.
-- Bamboo Sword: Colonel's sword shambles to life as a mass of dense, gold-green energy. It is nearly twice the size of his standard blade, and extremely heavy and slow, but hits all the harder as a result. It has great range and power, offering the potential to smash through attempts to block or deflect it, but it is slow and unwieldy.

Most excellent. All approved!
[/spoiler]

Ebony
[spoiler]

Blood Magic Final Attack(Ranged Proficiency required)

• How powerful is it? Does it have a wide area of effect, or multiple projectiles? How big is the weapon? What size are the projectiles?
          When the opponent uses an attack, the move absorbs the damage, then returns it with a force equal to twice the damage the move caused, though any damage done by the opponent's move is automatically doubled since you are using your own life force to match and return the attack the opponent used. It is very possible to kill yourself by doing this, though you will not die until after the move is launched, no matter how much damage you have absorbed and matched with your own life energy. It is a narrow beam of energy fired back, only about 6 inches in diameter, and very fast moving


• *Is it instantaneous, or quick to use? Or is it slow?* (Almost instantaneous? A moment? Several seconds? Longer? Be specific.)                                       To activate the move, the user must focus their blood magic, causing one or both hands to glow red as a sign they are using this technique.  The beam of energy being returned is fired at the time of choosing of the user, though again it is a very dangerous technique, and the longer you hold it the more damage you will take, and the higher your chance of death from using it.

• Once activated, how fast does it travel? (Fast as a thrown ball or slower? Arrow? Bullet?)
        This move travels in a straight line after fired, its velocity is 300 feet per second, like that of a pellet gun

• Is it difficult to aim? Must it be aimed at all?
      This move must be aimed, just like any spell, and is fired from the hands in a straight line

• Can the user move around or do other things while using the move, or must they be stationary?
      The user may move around, though doing so may break their focus on the move, so it is recommended to stay still while using it

• Does the user have to keep their focus on the move, or is it 'fire and forget'?
      Yes, the user must keep focused, or they will fail at the move, and receive all of the opponent's damage dealt, and the life energy used to equal it without any effect on the opponent

• Does it have effects that linger after the user is no longer performing the move? If so, how long do they last?
             Yes, as stated before, you always will take double damage from this move, whether you hit or miss, so it is used only as a last resort

• What does it look like? How is it performed? How does it feel to get hit with it?
        It is a colorless beam of energy, drawn in either absorbed if it is an energy attack hitting you, or converted to the proper amount of energy if a melee attack, then doubled using your own life force, and returned in a straight line at your opponent, being fired from your hands,traveling until it hits something. To a living being, it is a feeling of being hit twice as hard as you hit the opponent using the technique, though if it hits anything non living, it does absolutely nothing.

• Is the move variable, or does it have a fixed method of use?
       This move must be done in the way set up in this thread, or it will not work

Also, whatever cost this requires is fine, I wasn't sure where to price it.

So basically what this boils down to is you won’t be able to do any more damage than your ATK stat allows. Having a move that lets you randomly do huge amounts of damage is a little too gamey. If you wanted to make a move with a set maximum damage value and roleplay the ‘cost’ of the move being Ebony taking a certain amount of damage, that would be doable with the right balance. Up to you, though.
      So, what is the max I could do? Perhaps 10 that also hurts me the same amount? Not very experienced at this, and honestly getting frustrated with the whole procedure.
[/spoiler]

Sombra
[spoiler]

Dark Storm Arts - Lightning- Area Attack, Debuff, Ranged, Ranged Materialize, Remote Control and Homing (300 OM)
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Gathering dark magic to the tip of his horn,  King Sombra will say. “So, you want to play with the thunder? How about a taste of the lightning?” Once he says that, he’ll create about 4 bolts of lightning made out of dark magic that he can control. Each of these packs the intensity of ten tasers. Suffice it to say they can immobilize an opponent QUITE well. They can also be remote controlled by him, and home in an opponent. This move is very taxing, requiring that he charge it for 8 seconds. The usage of the move severely depletes his energy reserves. Furthermore, it has a four second cool down. Another problem with this move is that it requires most of his concentration, while using it he can’t normally perform other moves. Distracting him during this move is possible, but would cause him to suffer moderate damage due to the electricity he’s playing with.

What’s the size of the bolts, roughly? How fast do these move? What’s the effective range? Can these be used in motion? How long does the debuff last per bolt? Can you describe the damage in more general terms? The ‘10 tasers’ thing isn’t really applicable in the Omniverse. Just “very strong” or “moderately strong” would work.
[/spoiler]

Glory
[spoiler]

Moves:

Venom Spit: (300 OM) (requires Ranged Proficiency and Debuff Proficiency) (for both RainWing forms)



Description: Two black streams of venom are fired out of Glory's longest fangs. The user must unhinge their mouth all the way open, like a snake, to spit this venom. It travels up to 12 feet long for the Anthro Form and 24 feet for RainWing form.

The venom dissolves its target at an alarming speed. The speed of dissolving is even faster when the venom is sprayed at a wound or in the eyes.

In the Wings of Fire universe, the venom only worked on organic matter. Here, however, it can dissolve non-organic matter as well. However, if Glory is fighting, say, a robot, the venom would dissolve the eyes at the same speed as the body.

A Prime or Secondary would need to be 6 DEF or over to resist the venom.

If by ‘resist’ you mean combat the venom at all, that won’t fly. It’ll have to be a comparison between Glory’s ATK stat and her foe’s DEF. How long does this take to ready? Can this be used while moving? Does this require concentration to ready or aim? How draining is this? How long does venom last? Does the debuff just lower their effective TEC? Can this be used with other moves?
[/spoiler]

Eda
[spoiler]

I am going to try here to iron out a move or two for later purchase

Tier 1 super move : 

Love Love Magic cannon ( 600 om ) ( Requires ranged proficiency ) ( Requires homing Proficiency ) 

Description : A huge cannon ball of magical energy , while it might look silly being a bright pink hue and shaped like a heart . Its effects are devastating . This attack can punch holes in the body of its target , however it has some heavy drawbacks for its power 

Casting speed : Slow can take 3 - 5 minutes to build up
Attack will home in and chase target until either target is hit or attack is lost to hitting a large target - I.e hitting a building or another target 
Can be charged while moving 
Can not be fired while moving 
Can not be aimed while moving
Requires tremendous concentration to cast , just as much to fire 
Distance : Point blank to fifty feet
Travel speed of attack : Near glacial - this attack is huge but terribly slow
Size : A heart shaped cannon ball of nearly 100 ft in diameter
Stamina drain : Large - Can exhaust the caster ~ will become Moderate as character gains levels  
Damage : High - This can flatten its target , but is a last resort for the young mage

You don’t need to make the cast time so long. 30 seconds is probably the maximum you’d need for something like this. I want to mention though that having a 100 ft beam is going to give you extremely diluted damage. The larger it is, the less damage it does to things it hits. As for the homing, normally you’d need some kind of time limit or something to offset the edge you get from homing but being that it’s a Super and moves so slowly I can let that go.

Tier 1 super move : 

Love Love Thousand Broken Hearts : ( Requires ranged Proficiency ) ( Requires Area attack Proficiency ) ( Requires ranged materialize Proficiency )

A rain of pink heart shaped projectiles , made to counter large mobs of enemies 

Can be charged while moving 
Can not be fired while moving 
Can not be aimed while moving
Casting speed : Fast - 15 to 30 seconds 
Damage : Weak - similar to her magic blast 
Travel speed : Fast - Sky to ground impact in 15 seconds
Travel distance : Far

What’s the size on the projectiles? For travel speed, can you give me a more precise number? Depending on where in the sky you’re referring to, that number can be a pretty wide range. Around how many projectiles are there, or how long does this last and how fast do they spawn? Does this require concentration to maintain?

[/spoiler]

[Ebony]

Carmelita

[spoiler]

Carmelita

Plastiglex Breaching Charge: How many of these does she have on-hand at a time?

For the rest, you can only have 5 moves pre-approved at one time. Let me know which ones you want me to look at and I’ll dig in.

Plastiglex Breaching Charge: One on her at any time. They're heavy.

As for the rest, I'd like to get pre-approved the STAPLED, the Rod, the Rocket and the Bubble. That makes five total. I'm getting some ready for the end of DA.

Thank you!

Approved!

Steel-Titanium Anti-Personnel Lockdown Electric Device - STAPLED (Stealth, Debuff) (300)
The Steel-Titanium Anti-Personnel Lockdown Emergency Device, or STAPLED is a device designed by Bentley for Carmelita. A small metal disk five inches in diameter, it can be dropped onto the floor during stealth mode without disrupting it like a direct attack would. When pressure is applied to the upper surface, the STAPLED erupts with bands of Steel-Titanium and entangles the thing that depressed it, provided the bulk of the target is less than eight feet tall and three feet in radius.
After the bands of Steel Titanium deploy, a light electric current passes through the bands, lightly frying electrical circuitry and attempting to shock the target into submission.
Obviously, a target tangled in the STAPLED is restrained as long as the physical bonds hold, reducing their effective speed until they break free or slip out of the bonds through other means.
To break free from the STAPLED using brute force requires a high strength or for the base to be damaged by a few decent hits. The device can be deactivated manually by toggling a switch on the underside. Once a device has been deactivated, it is functionally useless for anything beyond scrap.
Carmelita carries three of these on her at any one time, and only one can be deployed at a time. Due to how they bypass the stealth field disruption, only one can be deployed each time Carmelita engages her stealth cloak.

Is this usable with other moves?

Rod of Fish and Thunder (Physical Proficiency, Ranged Proficiency, Debuff, Utility) (900)
The Rod of Fish and Thunder is a small baton that can be used both in melee as a shock baton, at range as a taser and also as a trap.
The baton is a foot long and has a cap at one end that encompasses the top three inches. There are four buttons on the handle.
The first turns the Rod of Fish and Thunder on, and electrifies the cap, allowing for the baton to be used in close quarters fighting. The shock from the baton fluctuates so that it disorientates those hit by the weapon, causing them moments of confusion over the next ten seconds that decreases their effective technique (TEC) for the duration.
The second releases the cap off the end of the baton, transforming it into a piton. The piton is shaped so as not to puncture the skin, and trails behind it a twenty metre wire about five millimetres thick. This wire is vulnerable to being cut and prone to being broken under any decent attack. This mode allows the Rod of Fish and Thunder to be used at range, wrapping an opponent in the wire like a whip and shocking them with the same effects as the melee shocks. The twenty metre wire is more vulnerable but covers a larger area of the target, causing a much more noticeable drop in effective technique during the duration of shocking.
The third button launches the piton much further, up to a hundred metres in range. Whilst impractical for combat, the piton functions perfectly well as a grapple hook and the hundred metre wire is a non-conductive carbon-fibre composite. Fastening the baton to a secure place produces a wire strong enough to abseil, rappel or slide along, allowing for access to difficult to reach areas.
The fourth button magnetically returns the piton and returns it to cap function, rethreads the wires if broken and deactivates the shock function.

Does this do damage or just stun? How many uses does this have, or how draining is it on her stamina? Can she use other moves concurrently? Also, are you sure you want a 65 foot whip? That’ll be pretty unwieldy in combat.

Demolitions Firework (Tier 1 Super Move, Attack, Ranged, Area Attack) (1200[600+600])
Carmelita takes out six pieces from her belt pouches and assembles them into a large, bamboo firework akin to those used by the Panda King. Once assembled, the bamboo firework can be fired at any target with a clear trajectory within two kilometres. The bamboo firework travels along the arc at a velocity of forty metres per second, and spouts out huge sparks. Upon detonation, either by being shot or upon impact, the firework creates a three metre spherical explosion. This explosion will collapse buildings if a structural wall was within the blast radius, and will do considerable damage to any character caught in the blast radius.
Assembling two pieces takes a second, and Carmelita requires both hands to assemble the firework. This means that to assemble the firework takes five one second intervals in which Carmelita must have her hands free, and to launch the rocket requires an additional second to aim the trajectory. If the firework is shot while it is still in Carmelita’s hands, the move is cancelled and Carmelita takes minor burn damage.

The pricing on this confuses me. I only see a single use, so why is it priced 1200? As for the move itself, I’d ask that you decrease the range. Being able to hit people 2 kilometers away from you reliably with a Super Move is a little excessive.

Dreamtime Bubble (Tier 1 Super Move, Defensive, Area Shield) (1000[400+600])
Carmelita draws on her recollection of Murray’s dreamtime philosophy and creates a pink bubble around herself and anyone huddled up to her to deflect damage she would otherwise take.
While using the Dreamtime Bubble, Carmelita is suspended in the centre of a two metre sphere of pink energy, which can be knocked around and rolled about by outside forces.
Activating the Dreamtime Bubble takes a three second period. From the moment it is activated Carmelita must keep her eyes closed to keep the Bubble up and anyone within the Bubble cannot receive any non-visual outside stimulus. Upon opening her eyes, Carmelita has three seconds to roll the ball around herself before it pops. If there are additional characters within the ball, be they NPCs, Assists or PCs, they may roll the Dreamtime Bubble around like a hamster ball.

Similar to the above, the pricing confuses me here. It would only run you 600. Other than that, you’re approved.

[/spoiler]

Trixie
[spoiler]

Trixie

• What’s the cast speed on these? More or less instant, or is there a charge time?
  
• Are we going with the range of telekinesis or something smaller? Are foes farther from Trixie affected differently than those very near?
  
• Can these be used while moving?
  
• How much concentration does it take to maintain Crush and Lift?
  
• How draining are Crush and Pulse?
  
• Is there a duration on Crush and Lift, or is it just until concentration breaks or she lets go?
  
• Can these be used with other moves?
  

• Instant, except for Crush. No charge time and they can't be charged in that same regard. 
  
• Range of Telekinesis which also means that the drawbacks of Telekinesis apply as well. At 50% range the strength of the move begins to drop off drastically. So right now 30 meters. 
  
• Lift, only with extreme physical stress. Pulse and Crush are more or less effortless to do while moving, but like anything, doing them in combat would tax her more.
  
• Lift is the most taxing out of the 3 like described and it would vary on what she's lifting. For the sake of argument, lifting a prime would definitely require her not to be interrupted. Manipulating organic life is harder than non-organic objects. So if she were hit, assuming she didn't block it, she'd lose concentration and drop the person. It's more utility than offense or defense.  Crush is targeted to small areas so it's easier to maintain, but she needs to keep the connection using one of her hands which ultimately sacrifices an appendage just to keep it going. On primes Crush has to build slowly to it's full pressure. 
  
• Crush and Pulse share the same drain. Used repeatedly in quick succession would rapidly drain Trixie of the stamina to fight. It can be done, but it's going to leave her at a disadvantage for a while. 
  
• Lift has no duration. As long as she can concentrate enough it'll work. Crush, however, for the sake of things, let's say that it's crushing effect ends after 4 seconds and needs to be reapplied. SWTOR has a similar move I can get behind. It isn't a DoT either. At the end of the 4 seconds all of the crushing damage occurs at once. 
  
• I'm going to say yes for now, because the only one I see her using in conjuction is Close Quarters Shielding. The rest of my moves wouldn't allow her to do so/or are literally just weapons that she uses and has access to. 
  

Whatever you price this at is fine.

Sounds good to me. Work those into the move description and I’ll approve it. Pricing will be 1200, with  grabbing a projectile out of the air constituting it’s own cost since that sorta makes it a block/parry in a way.
[/spoiler]

Colonel
[spoiler]

Colonel
Body Burn: How draining is this on Colonel’s stamina?

Elemental Swords: How long does the debuff on Elec Sword last?

Ah, yes. Knew I was forgetting a few details. Changes be bolded.

Body Burn -- 300 OM (Requires: Area Attack Proficiency)
Colonel briefly gathers a charge of energy across his entire body, marked by a slowly building aura of shimmering heat rolling off of himself. After a six second buildup, during which time Colonel can move but not execute any other techniques or moves aside from the use of his basic sword or buster, the charge is ready to be released, and can be held for up to thirty seconds without being discharged, at which point it will dissipate to prevent gross overheating and internal damage. The charge cannot be interrupted or broken, but sufficient damage can stall it momentarily while he recovers his bearings. When the charge is released, it takes roughly half a second to do so, and produces a burst of flame in all directions, reaching out to approximately three meters in a quick, explosive wave. A wave of oppressive, suffocating heat reaches outward for another two meters, making the air shimmer and waver and distorting vision within the effected area. The burst of flame lingers for three seconds before fading, and the shimmering heat haze remains for another ten seconds, offering an effective partial obscuring tactic. The energy drain from using this move isn't greatly exhausting on its own, but repeated usage of it is a quick way to rapidly wear down energy reserves.


Elemental Sword -- 1500 OM -- (Requires: Physical Strength, Ranged Proficiency, Debuff Proficiency)
Colonel's saber briefly switches off, igniting into a blade of different properties. Switching to any other form of blade, including back to the default Colonel Saber, takes slightly less than one second, and doesn't require great focus so can be effectively done on the fly, even in the midst of a combination attack with his sword.
-- Fire Sword: Colonel's blade ignites into a pillar of intense flame. The actual blows from this sword are somewhat less powerful, not biting as deeply as a standard blade, but tend to leave viciously burning, debilitating wounds, causing things it strikes to catch fire and blaze fiercely for several seconds, based on the difference between the target's DEF and Colonel's ATK.
-- Elec Sword: Colonel's blade erupts into a sparking, crackling mass of electricity. The strikes of this weapon leave targets struck by it numb and sluggish for a few seconds, pending difference between their DEF and Colonel's ATK, and sparks from it will jump a short distance to leave glancing blows on targets even if they manage to avoid or deflect the actual blade. It is not a very powerful weapon on its own, but is very useful for hampering and keeping foes on edge.
-- Aqua Sword: Colonel's blade streams forth into an oscillating blade of liquid. This weapon bends and twists, acting almost like a whip instead of a sword, and can lash and curl around attempts to deflect it, making it hard to avoid entirely. Its primary purpose is that it can stretch and extend like the liquid mass it is, extending Colonel's range of attack with it to nearly four meters.
-- Air Sword: Colonel's sword blasts out into an almost transparent mass of wind. This form of the sword is incredibly light and quick to strike, having virtually no weight to it. It thus has almost no physical impact, inflicting only superficial wounds, but every strike produces a short, fierce blast of intense wind and air, threatening to force targets off balance or knock them stumbling back.
-- Bamboo Sword: Colonel's sword shambles to life as a mass of dense, gold-green energy. It is nearly twice the size of his standard blade, and extremely heavy and slow, but hits all the harder as a result. It has great range and power, offering the potential to smash through attempts to block or deflect it, but it is slow and unwieldy.

Most excellent. All approved!
[/spoiler]

Ebony
[spoiler]

Blood Magic Final Attack(Ranged Proficiency required)

• How powerful is it? Does it have a wide area of effect, or multiple projectiles? How big is the weapon? What size are the projectiles?
          When the opponent uses an attack, the move absorbs the damage, then returns it with a force equal to twice the damage the move caused, though any damage done by the opponent's move is automatically doubled since you are using your own life force to match and return the attack the opponent used. It is very possible to kill yourself by doing this, though you will not die until after the move is launched, no matter how much damage you have absorbed and matched with your own life energy. It is a narrow beam of energy fired back, only about 6 inches in diameter, and very fast moving


• *Is it instantaneous, or quick to use? Or is it slow?* (Almost instantaneous? A moment? Several seconds? Longer? Be specific.)                                       To activate the move, the user must focus their blood magic, causing one or both hands to glow red as a sign they are using this technique.  The beam of energy being returned is fired at the time of choosing of the user, though again it is a very dangerous technique, and the longer you hold it the more damage you will take, and the higher your chance of death from using it.

• Once activated, how fast does it travel? (Fast as a thrown ball or slower? Arrow? Bullet?)
        This move travels in a straight line after fired, its velocity is 300 feet per second, like that of a pellet gun

• Is it difficult to aim? Must it be aimed at all?
      This move must be aimed, just like any spell, and is fired from the hands in a straight line

• Can the user move around or do other things while using the move, or must they be stationary?
      The user may move around, though doing so may break their focus on the move, so it is recommended to stay still while using it

• Does the user have to keep their focus on the move, or is it 'fire and forget'?
      Yes, the user must keep focused, or they will fail at the move, and receive all of the opponent's damage dealt, and the life energy used to equal it without any effect on the opponent

• Does it have effects that linger after the user is no longer performing the move? If so, how long do they last?
             Yes, as stated before, you always will take double damage from this move, whether you hit or miss, so it is used only as a last resort

• What does it look like? How is it performed? How does it feel to get hit with it?
        It is a colorless beam of energy, drawn in either absorbed if it is an energy attack hitting you, or converted to the proper amount of energy if a melee attack, then doubled using your own life force, and returned in a straight line at your opponent, being fired from your hands,traveling until it hits something. To a living being, it is a feeling of being hit twice as hard as you hit the opponent using the technique, though if it hits anything non living, it does absolutely nothing.

• Is the move variable, or does it have a fixed method of use?
       This move must be done in the way set up in this thread, or it will not work

Also, whatever cost this requires is fine, I wasn't sure where to price it.

So basically what this boils down to is you won’t be able to do any more damage than your ATK stat allows. Having a move that lets you randomly do huge amounts of damage is a little too gamey. If you wanted to make a move with a set maximum damage value and roleplay the ‘cost’ of the move being Ebony taking a certain amount of damage, that would be doable with the right balance. Up to you, though.
      So, what is the max I could do? Perhaps 10 that also hurts me the same amount? Not very experienced at this, and honestly getting frustrated with the whole procedure............. Actually, never mind, just discard this one
[/spoiler]

Sombra
[spoiler]

Dark Storm Arts - Lightning- Area Attack, Debuff, Ranged, Ranged Materialize, Remote Control and Homing (300 OM)
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Gathering dark magic to the tip of his horn,  King Sombra will say. “So, you want to play with the thunder? How about a taste of the lightning?” Once he says that, he’ll create about 4 bolts of lightning made out of dark magic that he can control. Each of these packs the intensity of ten tasers. Suffice it to say they can immobilize an opponent QUITE well. They can also be remote controlled by him, and home in an opponent. This move is very taxing, requiring that he charge it for 8 seconds. The usage of the move severely depletes his energy reserves. Furthermore, it has a four second cool down. Another problem with this move is that it requires most of his concentration, while using it he can’t normally perform other moves. Distracting him during this move is possible, but would cause him to suffer moderate damage due to the electricity he’s playing with.

What’s the size of the bolts, roughly? How fast do these move? What’s the effective range? Can these be used in motion? How long does the debuff last per bolt? Can you describe the damage in more general terms? The ‘10 tasers’ thing isn’t really applicable in the Omniverse. Just “very strong” or “moderately strong” would work.
[/spoiler]

Glory
[spoiler]

Moves:

Venom Spit: (300 OM) (requires Ranged Proficiency and Debuff Proficiency) (for both RainWing forms)



Description: Two black streams of venom are fired out of Glory's longest fangs. The user must unhinge their mouth all the way open, like a snake, to spit this venom. It travels up to 12 feet long for the Anthro Form and 24 feet for RainWing form.

The venom dissolves its target at an alarming speed. The speed of dissolving is even faster when the venom is sprayed at a wound or in the eyes.

In the Wings of Fire universe, the venom only worked on organic matter. Here, however, it can dissolve non-organic matter as well. However, if Glory is fighting, say, a robot, the venom would dissolve the eyes at the same speed as the body.

A Prime or Secondary would need to be 6 DEF or over to resist the venom.

If by ‘resist’ you mean combat the venom at all, that won’t fly. It’ll have to be a comparison between Glory’s ATK stat and her foe’s DEF. How long does this take to ready? Can this be used while moving? Does this require concentration to ready or aim? How draining is this? How long does venom last? Does the debuff just lower their effective TEC? Can this be used with other moves?
[/spoiler]

Eda
[spoiler]

I am going to try here to iron out a move or two for later purchase

Tier 1 super move : 

Love Love Magic cannon ( 600 om ) ( Requires ranged proficiency ) ( Requires homing Proficiency ) 

Description : A huge cannon ball of magical energy , while it might look silly being a bright pink hue and shaped like a heart . Its effects are devastating . This attack can punch holes in the body of its target , however it has some heavy drawbacks for its power 

Casting speed : Slow can take 3 - 5 minutes to build up
Attack will home in and chase target until either target is hit or attack is lost to hitting a large target - I.e hitting a building or another target 
Can be charged while moving 
Can not be fired while moving 
Can not be aimed while moving
Requires tremendous concentration to cast , just as much to fire 
Distance : Point blank to fifty feet
Travel speed of attack : Near glacial - this attack is huge but terribly slow
Size : A heart shaped cannon ball of nearly 100 ft in diameter
Stamina drain : Large - Can exhaust the caster ~ will become Moderate as character gains levels  
Damage : High - This can flatten its target , but is a last resort for the young mage

You don’t need to make the cast time so long. 30 seconds is probably the maximum you’d need for something like this. I want to mention though that having a 100 ft beam is going to give you extremely diluted damage. The larger it is, the less damage it does to things it hits. As for the homing, normally you’d need some kind of time limit or something to offset the edge you get from homing but being that it’s a Super and moves so slowly I can let that go.

Tier 1 super move : 

Love Love Thousand Broken Hearts : ( Requires ranged Proficiency ) ( Requires Area attack Proficiency ) ( Requires ranged materialize Proficiency )

A rain of pink heart shaped projectiles , made to counter large mobs of enemies 

Can be charged while moving 
Can not be fired while moving 
Can not be aimed while moving
Casting speed : Fast - 15 to 30 seconds 
Damage : Weak - similar to her magic blast 
Travel speed : Fast - Sky to ground impact in 15 seconds
Travel distance : Far

What’s the size on the projectiles? For travel speed, can you give me a more precise number? Depending on where in the sky you’re referring to, that number can be a pretty wide range. Around how many projectiles are there, or how long does this last and how fast do they spawn? Does this require concentration to maintain?

[/spoiler]

[Trixie]

No problem, Ebony.

[Ebony]

Lacerate (Ranged Proficiency, 300 O.M)
Blood Mage Attack 1
With a wave of your hand, gashes appear over the target's body
Encounter  Arcane, Implement
Standard Action
Ranged 10
Attack: constitution Vs. Fortitude
Hit: 2d4 + constitution modifier damage
Effect: The target takes ongoing damage equal to twice your constitution modifier until the end of your next turn.
(This is the D&D explanation for reference, the omniverse version is below)



 This move uses blood magic to open wounds on the opponent, depending on their defence, if it is greater than the attack of the user by more than one, ,there is no effect. It opens wounds much like paper cuts, not deep or especially painful on their own, but continued use is more painful. It is an instantaneous technique, though not very powerful, and travels in a straight line from the caster. Once activated, it moves as a three foot diameter net, ,traveling at about ten feet per second. It is not difficult to aim, being a fire and forget technique. Once the user fires it, they can move, but moving while casting will interrupt the spell. If it hits, it will inflict damage at about a half point per minute, though it will not hinder the opponent's movement at all. It is activated by the caster simply stating "Bleed", and pointing at the opponent, at which point the net of blood will form and move straight at the opponent. Ultimately, it feels like a paer cut initially, though it will cause an opponent to weaken over time from blood loss. Any sort of healing or regeneration will completely negate it as well. It is also a fixed move, no variations possible




[b]Blood Rage (Buff, 600 O.M.
Blood Mage Attack 3
You give in to the soft pull of fury that is ever present at the sight of blood.
Encounter  Arcane, Implement, Necrotic
Standard Action
Ranged 20
Target: One Creature
Attack: Constitution Vs. Will
Hit: 2d8 + constitution modifier necrotic damage.
Effect: If you or your target is bloodied, this attack does an extra 1d10 damage.[/b]
(This is the D&D explanation, the omniverse one is below

This is a buff, useable only if you or your opponent is bleeding. If so, your stats increase by plus 2 for the duration of the technique. It is very tiring, and the user will likely require rest afterwards. It can be held for multiple minutes and is uninterruptable, though each consecutive minutes takes more out of you, and if you hold it for more than about three minutes, you will collapse when you release it, and also, being as you are in a blood rage, you will take double damage from any hits dealt to you while this buff is active.

[Omni]

Lacerate is far too powerful for an instantaneous, 3-foot diameter move with no significant downsides.

This: "When describing how powerful a move is, try not to use wording like "cuts through skin" or "breaks bones". This is because the damage of an attack may vary depending on your current transformed state, and your opponent's DEF stat in relation to your ATK. It's best to leave this somewhat vague."
is also relevant in terms of saying "about half a point of damage per minute'.

Taking away the damage-over-time effect and mention of fixed damage and simply saying that it attempts to create small paper cuts (to an opponent of similar DEF to Ebony's ATK) would be more on-balance. Given that it's instantaneous, how often can she cast it? Rapid fire?

Blood Rage can't be approved, see the description for Buff Proficiency.
Buff Proficiency – 400 OM (Example move)
Allows you to create moves which provide beneficial effects to allies at cost to yourself (usually time and/or energy). While this might seem pointless, pooling one's powers can be a very effective strategy, especially against overwhelming foes. Boosting or adjusting one's own stats requires a Transformation. Significant stat boosts require the use of a Super Move in conjunction with this proficiency.

[Omni]

Horror Nova (Requires Ranged Proficiency, Area Attack Proficiency) (300)

Erik collects his power for three seconds before throwing back his head and releasing a burst of violet energy. Any enemies caught in the blast will start to hallucinate a variety of horrors, dependant on the fears of the affected foe, as long as Erik maintains the nova. The hallucinations will continue to grow more vivid as long as enemies remain in the area of effect. The rate of which they grow realistic is dependant on the foe's TEC and their distance from Erik. The nova will be maintained as long as Erik concentrates. The hallucinations will quickly dissipate after the affected parties leave the nova. The hallucinations are just that: hallucinations. They cannot hurt or otherwise touch enemies, so a smart foe can bypass them entirely. This move is quite tiring to maintain. The nova has a radius of 5 metres.
At its maximum, the hallucinations look real, with almost no way to distinguish then from real monsters (expect for the fact that they can't touch you). Against an enemy with 1 TEC, for example, being right next to Erik would cause the hallucinations to become life like after 5-10 seconds, but if hey were at the edge it would take up to a minute. The fear effect is more or less a distraction. Someone could RP being frozen with fear, but if they don't want that it'll be little more than a scary distraction. Erik can move his arms, albeit slowly, while channeling the nova, but can't walk. Erik requires a moderate amount of concentration to sustain the nova, and also cannot use any other moves, with an exception for Mageslayer, but he loses a lot of fighting skill while channeling.

You gave an example for the upper end of the effect, but what about the lower end? Or I guess more relevantly, an average effect for a user of similar TEC to Erik, somewhere in the middle of the Nova.

You specified enemies so I'm guessing it doesn't affect allies. It might need a little nerfing as its a pretty big and strong AOE right now, we'll see when you give me the average effect.

Dark Storm Arts - Lightning- Area Attack, Debuff, Ranged, Ranged Materialize, Remote Control and Homing (300 OM)
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Gathering dark magic to the tip of his horn,  King Sombra will say. “So, you want to play with the thunder? How about a taste of the lightning?” Once he says that, he’ll create about 4 bolts of lightning made out of dark magic that he can control. Each of these packs the intensity of ten tasers. Suffice it to say they can immobilize an opponent QUITE well. They can also be remote controlled by him, and home in an opponent. This move is very taxing, requiring that he charge it for 8 seconds. The usage of the move severely depletes his energy reserves. Furthermore, it has a four second cool down. Another problem with this move is that it requires most of his concentration, while using it he can’t normally perform other moves. Distracting him during this move is possible, and would cause him to suffer moderate damage due to the electricity he’s playing with. These are moderately strong,  and travel at the speed of an arrow. While they are slow moving the bolts will certainly at least damage if not outright fry the nervous system of whoever they hit. Suffice it to say, you really don't want to get hit by one. 

Given the extreme power of the move and the fact that it can be remote controlled or made to be homing, I'd like to see something like it leaving King Sombra exhausted and unable to move for a few seconds afterwards. The ten tasers thing is also a bit much so I removed it, I also fixed what I assume is a grammatical error (but --> and). I'd also remove the "slow-moving" bit. Arrows aren't slow-moving

Katana-300 O.M.
         It is just a simple katana, nothing special, which forms upon the wish of the user. The user does not have to do anything except use the weapon as you usually would a blade, nor does it do anything else special.

Gonna help you out here.

Katana - 300 OM

This katana is forged of rolled carbon steel and sharpened to a razors edge. The tang is wrapped in black leather and laced with an intricate white thread. Presently the weapon is summoned only when the user wishes it into existence for use. A simple bushido drawing motion materializes the weapon out of pure omnilium. Weighing about 1.5 kilograms the weapon is light and fluid in its motion. The finely forged blade is 73 centimeters in length with a line of blackened steel running along the cutting edge. The weapon is a basic bladed weapon and is capable of cutting through anything a common 14th-century blade could.

Approved.

[Ebony]

[quote='Omni' pid='80370' dateline='1471642383']
Lacerate is far too powerful for an instantaneous, 3-foot diameter move with no significant downsides.

This: "When describing how powerful a move is, try not to use wording like "cuts through skin" or "breaks bones". This is because the damage of an attack may vary depending on your current transformed state, and your opponent's DEF stat in relation to your ATK. It's best to leave this somewhat vague."
is also relevant in terms of saying "about half a point of damage per minute'.

Taking away the damage-over-time effect and mention of fixed damage and simply saying that it attempts to create small paper cuts (to an opponent of similar DEF to Ebony's ATK) would be more on-balance. Given that it's instantaneous, how often can she cast it? Rapid fire?

Blood Rage can't be approved, see the description for Buff Proficiency.
Buff Proficiency – 400 OM (Example move)
Allows you to create moves which provide beneficial effects to allies at cost to yourself (usually time and/or energy). While this might seem pointless, pooling one's powers can be a very effective strategy, especially against overwhelming foes. Boosting or adjusting one's own stats requires a Transformation. Significant stat boosts require the use of a Super Move in conjunction with this proficiency.

[Omni]

I told you exactly how to fix the first, and for the second you would not be able to, as buffs aren't meant to be self-buffs: as the buff proficiency states, that's what transformations are for.

You've threatened twice now to leave the site. If you're getting this stressed out over a simple move approval, or it taking over one day to get your moves approved, we might not be the site for you.

[James Knight]

Storm Arts - Lightning - 300, Ranged Proficiency Homing, Remote Control.
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Gathering dark magic to the tip of his horn,  King Sombra will say. “So, you want to play with the thunder? How about a taste of the lightning?” Once he says that, he’ll create about 4 bolts of lightning made out of dark magic that he can control.   Suffice it to say they can immobilize an opponent QUITE well. They can also be remote controlled by him, and home in an opponent. This move is very taxing, requiring that he charge it for 8 seconds. The usage of the move severely depletes his energy reserves. Furthermore, it has a four second cool down. Another problem with this move is that it requires most of his concentration, while using it he can’t normally perform other moves. Distracting him during this move is possible, and would cause him to suffer moderate damage due to the electricity he’s playing with. While these are only moderately strong these are incredibly slow.

This takes about eight seconds for King Sombra to recover from.

Name of Move: Dark Matter Bomb V1
OM Cost: 300
Proficiencies Required (Debuff Proficiency, Ranged Proficiency, Area Effect, Homing, Reote Control.)
Description of Move:  
A spell that King Sombra has come up for his own use in the Omniverse. This first channels negative emotions such as fear, rage, lust, hatred, misery, greed and many other negative emotions into a sphere of energy. The sphere is roughly the size of a fully loaded mini van. Manipulating the sphere,  he’ll ‘levitate’ it until it is above his opponent. Once it is above his opponent he will immediately ‘drop’ the sphere which will then explode.This has a range of 75 feet. Anyone towards the outskirts would receive pathetic damage,  and find it harder to concentrate because they’d be in a debilitated emotional state. Furthermore when someone is actually closer to the center of the sphere, they’d receive heavy damage. It takes him about 10 seconds to create this sphere,  and 5 seconds to recharge. It can be used with other magical abilities however and can be used while he is in motion.

[Omni]

Storm Arts - Lightning - 300, Ranged Proficiency Homing, Remote Control.
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Gathering dark magic to the tip of his horn,  King Sombra will say. “So, you want to play with the thunder? How about a taste of the lightning?” Once he says that, he’ll create about 4 bolts of lightning made out of dark magic that he can control.   Suffice it to say they can immobilize an opponent QUITE well. They can also be remote controlled by him, and home in an opponent. This move is very taxing, requiring that he charge it for 8 seconds. The usage of the move severely depletes his energy reserves. Furthermore, it has a four second cool down. Another problem with this move is that it requires most of his concentration, while using it he can’t normally perform other moves. Distracting him during this move is possible, and would cause him to suffer moderate damage due to the electricity he’s playing with. While these are only moderately strong these are about as fast as arrows.

This takes about eight seconds for King Sombra to recover from.

You can keep the speed, I just meant that stating they were as fast as arrows and then saying they were slow was a bit contradictory

This version seems balanced, approved!

[Eda]

Reposting for approval 

I am going to try here to iron out a move or two for later purchase

Tier 1 super move : 

Love Love Magic cannon ( 600 om ) ( Requires ranged proficiency ) ( Requires homing Proficiency ) 

Description : A huge cannon ball of magical energy , while it might look silly being a bright pink hue and shaped like a heart . Its effects are devastating . This attack can punch holes in the body of its target , however it has some heavy drawbacks for its power 

Casting speed : Slow can take up to 3 minutes to build up
Attack will home in and chase target until either target is hit or attack is lost to hitting a large target - I.e hitting a building or another target 
Can be charged while moving 
Can not be fired while moving 
Can not be aimed while moving
Requires tremendous concentration to cast , just as much to fire 
Distance : Point blank to fifty feet
Travel speed of attack : Near glacial - this attack is huge but terribly slow
Size : A heart shaped cannon ball of nearly 100 ft in diameter
Stamina drain : Large - Can exhaust the caster ~ will become Moderate as character gains levels  
Damage : High - This can flatten its target , but is a last resort for the young mage

Tier 1 super move : 

Love Love Thousand Broken Hearts : ( Requires ranged Proficiency ) ( Requires Area attack Proficiency ) ( Requires ranged materialize Proficiency )

A rain of pink heart shaped projectiles , made to counter large mobs of enemies 
As the name implies number of projectiles - up to 1000
All projectiles spawn at once 
Attack has enormus range but terrible accuracy 
Size of projectiles : Small pink heart shaped , roughly the size of a ( united states ) Quarter
Can be charged while moving 
Can not be fired while moving 
Can not be aimed while moving
Casting speed : Fast - 15 to 30 seconds 
Damage : Weak - similar to her magic blast 
Travel speed : Fast - 10 feet a second 
Travel distance : Far
( ^ Might need some balancing yet )